,,HALF ,,& ,,HALF

           ,,L5SEY ,,NAMIOKA

         ,PUBLI%$ 0,DELL ,YE>L+
  AN IMPR9T ( ,R&OM ,H\SE ,*N'S ,BOOKS
               ,NEW ,YORK
   ,COPY"R ^C #BJJC 0,L5SEY ,NAMIOKA
  ,FUR!R REPRODUC;N OR 4TRIBU;N 9 O!R
  ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4
  ,TRANSCRIP;N ( ,,ISBN #J-DDJ-DAHIJ-I

      ,TRANSCRIB$ 9 ,5GLI% ,BRL BY
               ,K>5 ,H>A
          ,"EGRE5 ,BRL ,S]VICE
           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON

             ,9 #B ,VOLUMES
               ,VOLUME #A
         ,PAGES ;I-;IV & #A-HF

          ,"U ! ,SPONSOR%IP (
 ,WA%+TON ,TALK+ ,BOOK @& ,BRL ,LIBR>Y
           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON
                 #BJJH
                                     ;II
























                                    ;III









           ,6MY HALF-&-HALVES

      ,I'D L 6AC"KL$GE ! HELP ( MY
       $ITOR1 ,J5NIF] ,W+]TZAHN1
     :O MADE "S RE,Y GRT SU7ES;NS4










                                     ;IV
























                   "O                 #A

  8,YR =M ISN'T -PLETE1 ,FIONA10 SD !
RECRE,NS DIRECTOR4 8,I C'T LET Y 5ROLL 9
! FOLK DANC+ CLASS UNTIL X'S -PLETELY
FILL$ IN40
  ,! RECRE,N C5T] IS LOCAT$ AT A P>K N
F> F MY S*OOL4 ,= YE>S ! C5T] _H BE5 US$
= ADULT $UC,N CLASSES1 S* Z POTT]Y &
LANGUAGE LESSONS4 ,REC5TLY ! BUILD+ 0
REMODEL$ & EXP&$1 & !Y />T$ HAV+ CLASSES
= "Y P1 TOO4
  ,:5 ,I HE>D "! 7 FOLK DANC+ CLASSES1
,I IMMLY W5T OV] 65ROLL4 ,I _H N"E FILL$
\ "O ( _! =MS 2F1 & ,I DIDN'T "K :AT !
DIRECTOR M1NT 0! =M N 2+ -PLETELY FILL$
IN4 ,I LOOK$ X OV] AG4

,"N3 ,FIONA ,*5G
,AGE3 #AA
,A4RESS3 #BACD ,HILLSIDE ,BLVD4 ,E41
  ,S1TTLE1 ,,WA
,CLASS3 ,FOLK ,DANC+

  ,X LOOK$ GD 6ME4
  8,Y DIDN'T *ECK A BOX = RACE10 %E   #B
SD4 8,6GET GOV]N;T FUND+1 WE H 6LET !M
"K H[ _M KIDS WE H 9 EA* (! RACE CATEGO-
RIES40
  ,? 0 A PRO#M ,I'D BUMP$ 962F1 B ,I /
WASN'T SURE H[ 6H&LE X4 ,I TOOK ! =M F
H]4 8,I'LL F9I% X LAT]10 ,I MUTT]$1 &
QKLY LEFT ! RECRE,N C5T]4
  ,ON ! WAY HOME1 ,I TRI$ 6DECIDE ON !
BE/ WAY 6-PLETE ! =M4 ,I _H 6*ECK "O (!
BOXES T SD1 8,:ITE10 8,ASIAN10 8,BLACK10
8,HISPANIC10 8,NATIVE ,AM]ICAN10 OR
8,O!R40 ,N"O ( !M WD 2 "R1 ?\<1 2C ,I'M
N ANY "O ( ^? ?+S4 ,I'M HALF & HALF3 MY
"F IS ,*9ESE & MY "M IS ,SCOTTI%4 ,I
CDN'T J *ECK EI 8,:ITE0 OR 8,ASIAN0 S9CE
,I'M HALF ( EA*4
  ,I SUPPOSE ,I CD H *ECK$ ! BOX = 8,O?-
]10 B ,I DIDN'T WANT TO4 ,X WD MAKE ME
FEEL L AN \TSID]1 A WEIRDO :O DIDN'T BE-
L;G ANY":4 ,I WANT$ 6FIT 9 L "EY"O ELSE4
,:Y DIDN'T !Y H A BOX = P L ME1 :O 7
HALF & HALF8
  ,:5 ,I GOT HOME1 ,MOM 0 9 ! KIT*51
P\R+ H]F A CUP ( TEA4 ,%E T1*ES MA? AT !
UNIV]S;Y1 S %E'S (T5 HOME 9 ! AFN4    #C
,%E DR9KS TEA 9/1D ( C(FEE1 EV5 ?\< WE
LIVE 9 ,S1TTLE1 ! N,N'S C(FEE CAPITAL4
,TEA IS *1P] ?AN C(FEE S9CE Y C USE !
TEA BAG OV] AG4 ,Y SEE1 ,MOM IS V
?RIFTY4
  ,%E SAYS X'S 2C A MA!MATICIAN'S AIM :5
PROV+ A !OREM IS 6USE Z LL Z POSSI# TO
PROVE Z M* Z POSSI#4 ,9 O!R ^WS1 Y ALW
SP5D A TE5Y BIT 6GET A :OLE LOT4 ,AF DO+
? = YE>S & YE>S1 Y W9D UP 2+ V]-R-R-Y
?R-R-R-IFTY4
  ,I TOOK A S1T AT ! KIT*5 TA#4 8,MOM1
:AT AM ,I80 ,I ASK$4
  ,%E FR[N$4 8,:AT D Y M1N8 ,Y'RE ,FIONA
,*5G1 LA/ "T ,I LOOK$40
  8,I'M N ASK+ Y .:O ,I AM10 ,I SD4
8,I'M ASK+ Y .:AT ,I AM40
  8,:AT BR"\ ? ON80 ASK$ ,MOM1 SIPP+ H]
TEA & LOOK+ AT ME OV] ! RIM (! CUP4 ,I
?9K %E SUSPECT$ T ! PRO#M _H "S?+ 6D )
\R FAMILY 2+ RACI,Y MIX$4 ,X'S N "S?+ !
TWO ( U (T5 4CUSS4
  ,I TOLD H] AB ! =M ,I _H 6FILL \ =!
FOLK DANC+ CLASS4 ,MOM DIDN'T ANSW] "R
AWAY4 ,! EXPRES.N 9 H] HAZEL EYES     #D
DIDN'T TELL ME M*4 8,:Y N *ECK TWO BOX-
ES1 "O = ,8,ASIAN0' & "O = ,8,:ITE0'80
%E SU7E/$ AF A :ILE4
  8,I DON'T ?9K !Y'LL A3EPT T10 ,I SI<$4
,SU45LY ,I 2CAME ANGRY4 8,:Y D GR[N-UPS
ALW H 6SORT P 96BOXES ANYWAY80
  8,!Y L 6D T1 DON'T !Y80 SD ,MOM4 8,B Y
C'T ALW SORT P 0! WAY !Y LOOK40
  ,6BE H"O/1 ?\<1 ,I SORT$ P1 TOO4 ,:5"E
,I MET ANO!R RACI,Y MIX$ KID =! F/ "T1
,I ?"\ AB P]C5TAGES4 ,I SD 6MYF1 8,LET'S
SEE ''' #FE@3P_/#CE@3P10 M1N+ T HE LOOKS
#FE@3P "O RACE & #CE@3P ANO!R4 ,LAT]1 :5
,I GOT 6"K ! P]SON WELL1 ,I'D =GET AB !
P]C5TAGE BUSI;S =! MO/ "P4 ,B X 0 A T\<
HABIT 6BR1K -PLETELY4 ,MAYBE ,I GET X F
,MOM'S LOVE ( MA!MATICS8
  ,S9CE ,MOM WASN'T ANY HELP1 ,I W5T UP-
/AIRS 6,DAD'S /UDIO4 ,HE WRITES & ILLUS-
TRATES *N'S BOOKS4 ,8 BE/-"KN BOOKS >E A
S]IES AB A DRAGON LIV+ 9 ANCI5T ,*9A4
,DRAGONS >E SUPPOS$ 6D ALL SORTS ( GD
?+S1 L BR++ RA9 6L&S SU6]+ F DR"\4 ,B
,DAD'S DRAGON IS SECRETLY SC>$ ( WAT]1 &
J AB "EY?+ ELSE1 TOO4 ,S H[ C 8       #E
DRAGON PRES5T A MAJE/IC & FE>"S IMAGE 6!
_W :ILE PRES]V+ 8 %AME;L SECRET8 ,EA* (
,DAD'S BOOKS PUTS 8 DRAGON 9 A TI<T
SPOT1 B ! DRAGON ALW MANAGES 6GET \ ( X
"SH[4
  ,I KNEW ,DAD 0 "W+ ON ! ILLU/R,NS = 8
LATE/ DRAGON BOOK4 ,NORM,Y ,I DON'T L TO
9T]RUPT HM1 B ? "T ,I NE$$ HELP4
  ,DAD LOOK$ UP F 8 DRAW+ BO>D & PLAC$ A
L>GE %EET ( PAP] OV] ! PICTURE HE 0 "W+
ON4 ,HE ALW DOES ? AUTOMATIC,Y :5"E ANY-
"O -ES 9 :ILE HE'S 9 ! MI4LE ( "S?+4 ,HE
HATES HAV+ P LOOK AT 8 "W 2F HE'S SATIS-
FI$ ) X4
  8,:AT'S UP1 ,FIONA80 HE ASK$4
  ,I ASK$ HM ! SAME "Q ,I _H ASK$ ,MOM4
8,I H 6FILL \ A =M =! FOLK DANC+ CLASS1
& !Y WANT 6"K :AT RACE ,I AM4 ,%D ,I
*ECK ! BOX = ,8,ASIAN10' OR ! BOX =
,8,:ITE0'80
  ,DAD LOOK$ AT ME4 ,8 EYES >E A D>K
BR[N1 J L M9E4 8,WD X BO!R Y 6*ECK ! BOX
= ,8,ASIAN0'80 HE ASK$4
  8,( C\RSE X WDN'T10 ,I SD QKLY4 ,I'VE
ALW "KN T ,I LOOK M ,ASIAN4 ,I H MY   #F
DAD'S BR[N EYES1 /RAI<T D>K HAIR1 & D>K
SK94 ,0*ECK+ ! BOX = 8,ASIAN10 ,I WD 2
TELL+ HM T ,I 2L;G$ ) 8 P4
  8,X'S J T ,I H 6BE A3URATE10 ,I TOLD
,DAD4 8,! RECRE,N C5T] HAS 6REPORT !
NUMB] ( KIDS !Y H 9 EA* RACE 6GET M"OY F
! GOV]N;T40
  8,!N Y %D D :AT"E FEELS "R 6Y10 SD
,DAD4
  ,! PRO#M 0 T ,I DIDN'T "K :AT FELT "R
6ME4
  ,"! 0 ONLY "O P]SON LEFT 6ASK3 MY
BRO!R1 ,RON4 ,HE'S TWELVE YE>S OLD & HAS
R$DI% HAIR & M* PAL] SK9 ?AN M9E4 ,HE
TAKES AF ,MOM4 ,I LOOK AB #CJ@3P :ITE &
#GJ@3P ,ASIAN1 :ILE ,RON LOOKS MAYBE
#GE@3P :ITE & #BE@3P ,ASIAN4
  ,RON IS SMALL = 8 AGE1 & HE'S S5SITIVE
AB 8 SIZE4 ,HE'S V 3SCI\S T HE'S EXACTLY
! SAME HEI<T Z ME1 EV5 ?\< HE'S A YE>
OLD]4 ,MOM KEEPS TELL+ HM1 8,BOYS GET _!
GR[? SPURT LAT]1 ,RON4 ,0! "T Y'RE SIX-
TE51 Y'LL OV]TAKE ,FIONA 9 HEI<T40
  ,T'S N M* -=T 6,RON4 ,IF Y'RE TWELVE1
SIXTE5 SEEMS AN AW;LLY L;G WAY (F4    #G
  ,RON US$ 6GET PICK$ ON 0"S BULLIES 9
S*OOL1 S ,DAD _H HM 5ROLL 9 KUNG FU
CLASSES 6GIVE HM 3FID;E4 ,NOBODY PICKS
ON ,RON N[4 ,B ,I "K HE'S / 3SCI\S ( 2+
"O (! %ORTE/ BOYS 9 8 CLASS1 & M ?AN
ANY?+ ELSE1 HE HATES 2+ CALL$ A SISSY4
  ,I W5T UP 6HIS ROOM4 8,SAY1 ,RON1 Y'RE
SIGN+ UP =! KICKBOX+ T1M AT ! RECRE,N
C5T]1 "R80
  ,HE LOOK$ UP F 8 HOME"W4 8,Y1H4 ,S80
  8,H Y FILL$ \ ! =M YET80 ,I ASK$4
  8,X'S FILL$ \ & R1DY 6H& IN40
  8,: BOX DID Y *ECK = RACE80
  ,RON LOOK$ AT ME4 ,8 EYES >E A LI<T
BR[N1 N Q ,MOM'S HAZEL1 B N D>K BR[N L
,DAD'S1 EI4 8,LET'S SEE '''10 HE SD4 8,I
GUESS ,I *ECK$ ! BOX = ,8,O!R40'0
  8,& 0 T OKAY ) Y80 ,I ASK$4
  8,:Y %D X80 HE ASK$4 8,N"O (! O!R BOX-
ES SEEM$ 6FIT40
  ,B DOESN'T T BO!R Y8 ,T ANY"O :O
DOESN'T FIT 96"O (! CATEGORIES ON ! =M
IS J LUMP$ 9TO ,8,O!R0'80
  ,RON %RU7$4 8,I K9D ( L X :5 !Y C'T
FIT ME 9 A BOX S EASILY40             #H
  ,X RE,Y DIDN'T BO!R HM4 ,RON DIDN'T
M9D N 2L;G+4 ,HE 0 P]FECTLY HAPPY 6BE A
LON]4
  ,IF ONLY X 0 T EASY = ME4

  ,NEXT MORN+1 ON ! WAY 6! S*OOL BUS1 ,I
/ _HN'T DECID$ H[ 6FILL \ MY =M4 ,IF ,I
DIDN'T D X SOON1 ,I'D MISS ! D1DL9E =
5ROLL+ 9 ! D.E CLASS4
  ,SU45LY ,I _H A BRILLIANT IDEA3 S9CE
,RON & ,I 7 BO? HALF & HALF1 ,I CD *ECK
! BOX = ,ASIAN & HE CD *ECK ! BOX =
,:ITE4
  ,I 0 S PL1S$ ) MY IDEA T ,I DIDN'T HE>
MY "N 2+ CALL$ UNTIL ,I _H NE>LY GOTT5
6! BUS /OP4
  8,HEY1 WAIT UP1 ,FIONA60
  ,I TURN$ >.D & SAW MY FR ,AM&A ,TANA-
KA4 ,AM&A IS ,JAPANESE ,AM]ICAN1 & %E
N"E HAS 6WORRY AB H] RACE4 ,P ?9K !Y "K
ALL AB H] S9CE %E LOOKS #AJJ@3P ,ASIAN4
  ,I REMEMB] ! F/ "T ,I MET ,AM&A4 ,X 0
A YE> AGO1 :5 \R FAMILY _H MOV$ 6,S1TTLE
F ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 ,I 0 />T+ S*OOL T
FALL4                                 #I
  ,2+ NEW1 ,I FELT K9D ( LO/4 ,X DIDN'T
HELP T ! T1*] 0 AL K9D ( LO/4 ,%E 0 A
SUB/ITUTE1 & %E 0 V "Y & N]V\S4 ,R1D+ !
ROLL1 %E CAME 6MY "N & _H TR\# PRON\NC+
X4 8,FEE ''' ,FEE '''10 ,%E 2GAN4 ,!N %E
LOOK$ UP AT ME4 8,OR IS X .,FI1 Z 9 HI-
FI80
  ,"! 7 "S SNICK]S F ! CLASS4 ,I HE>D "O
BOY :ISP]1 8,FEE FI FO FUM1 ,I SMELL !
BLOOD ( AN ,5GLI%MAN60
  8,X'S .,FEE10 ,I SD4 ,I TOOK A DEEP
BR1? & SD CALMLY1 8,MY "N IS PRON\NC$
.,FEE-,,OH,'-NAH40
  8,RE,Y80 SD ! T1*]4 8,IS X A ,*9ESE
"N80
  8,NO10 ,I MUTT]$4 8,X'S ,SCOTTI%40
  8,Y'RE ,SCOTTI%80 ASK$ ! T1*]1 UNA# TO
HIDE H] SURPRISE4 ,"SBODY GI7L$4
  8,I'M HALF ,*9ESE & HALF ,SCOTTI%10 ,I
EXPLA9$ = :AT SEEM$ L ! MILLION? "T4
  ,T F/ "D 9 S*OOL SEEM$ 6LA/ ="E1 & ,I
0 GLAD :5 X 0 F9,Y OV] & ,I 0 A# 6ES-
CAPE4
  8,IS ,FIONA A -MON "N 9 ,SCOTL&80 ASK$
A VOICE 2H ME Z ,I WALK$ T[>D !      #AJ
S*OOL BUS4
  ,I TURN$ >.D & SAW A GIRL F MY CLASS
:O LOOK$ ,ASIAN4
  8,X SURE IS10 ,I TOLD H]4 8,MY MOM
GAVE ME T "N 2C H] FOLKS CAME F ,SCOT-
L&40
  8,MY FOLKS >E F ,JAPAN1 B !Y DIDN'T
TRY 6/ICK ,JAPANESE "NS ON U10 SD !
GIRL4 8,I W.D UP ,AM&A1 & MY SI/]'S ,ME-
LISSA40
  8,>E ,JAPANESE "NS T H>D 6PRON\NCE80
,I ASK$4
  8,"S ( !M >E10 SD ,AM&A4 8,I "K A GIRL
CALL$ ,YUKIKO4 ,H] P>5TS WANT 6MAKE SURE
"EYBODY "KS %E'S ,JAPANESE4 ,H] LA/ "N
IS ,KAKIMOTO1 S H] FULL "N IS ,YUKIKO
,KAKIMOTO40
  ,I TRI$ 6PRON\NCE ! "N & GOT TRIPP$ UP
0ALL ! .KS4
  ,AM&A GR9N$4 8,YUKIKO HAS A LOT ( TR\#
) P MESS+ UP H] "N4 ,B %E'S GD AB X1 J L
Y40
  ,I LIK$ ,AM&A "R AWAY4 ,%E MADE T F/
"D 9 S*OOL SEEM N S BAD AF ALL4 ,WE GOT
ON ! BUS TGR1 & WE AL GOT (F AT !    #AA
SAME /OP4
  ,I SAW ,AM&A AG ! NEXT "D 9 ! LUN*-
ROOM4 ,I 0 JO9+ ! L9E 6PICK UP ! HOT
DI%1 & AF PUTT+ X ON MY TRAY1 ,I LOOK$
>.D ! CR[D$ LUN*ROOM4 ,": DID ,I FIT IN8
,I PASS$ 0A TA# ": "S KIDS F MY CLASS 7
S1T$4 ,"O (! BOYS LOOK$ UP4 8,FEE FI FO
FUM10 HE :ISP]$ 6! BOY NEXT 6HM1 & !Y
BO? SNICK]$4
  ,I FLA%$ HM MY B"RE/ SMILE4 8,HELLO1
,FEE-,FI ,BOY60 ,I SD1 & QKLY LOOK$ =
ANO!R TA#4 ,I ?"\ ,I HE>D "S"O LAU<4
  8,OV] "H60 SD ,AM&A1 & ,I SAW H] WAV+
AT ME4
  ,I JO9$ ,AM&A'S TA#1 & ? "T MY SMILE 0
R1L4
  ,S9CE GR[N-UPS L 6PUT P 96BOXES1 !Y'D
H 6CALL ? TA# ! ,O4S & ,5DS ,BOX4 ,!
KIDS "! 9CLUD$ ,AFRICAN ,AM]ICANS1 ,HIS-
PANICS1 :ITES1 ,ASIAN ,AM]ICANS1 & ALL
SORTS ( MIXTURES4 ,X J SEEM$ NATURAL =
ME 6SIT AT A TA# ": "! 0 V>IETY4 ,2C WE
7 S* A MIX$ BUN*1 NOBODY FELT DI6]5T4
,WE 7 ALL DI6]5T & \R P]C5TAGES 7 ALL
DI6]5T1 TOO4                         #AB
  ,SOON AF ,AM&A & ,I 2CAME FRS1 ,I
PO9T$ \ ,RON 6H]4 ,WE 7 9 ! S*OOLY>D
DUR+ RECESS1 & ,RON 0 UP ON ! B>S SW++
HMF AL;G4 8,T'S MY BRO!R OV] "!40
  ,AM&A />$ AT ,RON4 8,YR BRO!R DOESN'T
LOOK L Y AT ALL60
  ,I SI<$4 8,T'S :AT "EYBODY SAYS4 ,HE'S
GOT T R$ HAIR & "EY?+40
  ,F ! WAY ,AM&A LOOK$ AT ,RON1 ,I SUS-
PECT$ %E 0 GETT+ A CRU% ON HM4 ,0 X 2C
HE LOOK$ #GE@3P :ITE8 ,OR MAYBE %E J
LIK$ ! EASY WAY HE SWUNG HMF AL;G8
  ,I DIDN'T H ! HE>T 6TELL H] T ,RON 0
BASIC,Y A LON] & WD 2 H>D 6GET 6"K4 ,9
ALL ! "T T ,AM&A & ,I H BE5 BE/ FRS1 %E
& ,RON PROBABLY HAV5'T EX*ANG$ M ?AN
TW5TY ^WS4 ,Z F> Z ,I REMEMB]1 8,PASS !
SOY SAUCE1 PL1SE0 0 ! ONLY ?+ HE'D "E SD
6H] DIRECTLY4

  ,:ILE WE WAIT$ =! S*OOL BUS1 ,I TOLD
,AM&A AB FILL+ \ ! =M = MY D.E CLASS4
8,WD Y 2LIEVE X1 ,I C'T 5ROLL 9 ! D.E
CLASS UNTIL ,I DECIDE :AT MY RACE IS60
  8,Y'RE KI4+60 %E SD4 8,:AT >E Y    #AC
GO+ 6D80
  8,RON & ,I >E BO? SIGN+ UP = CLASSES10
,I SD4 8,S ,I'VE DECID$ T ,I'M ,ASIAN &
HE'S :ITE4 ,T WAY1 ! TWO ( U W AV]AGE \1
&! RECRE,N C5T] W GET ! "R AM.T ( M"OY40
  ,AM&A GI7L$1 & WE 7 / LAU<+ :5 WE GOT
ON ! BUS4 ,AF ,I SAT D[N1 ,I GL.ED ACR !
AISLE4 ,T 0 :5 ,I GOT A %OCK4
  ,! BOY SITT+ ACR ! AISLE 0 ,H>RY ,KIM1
A ,KOR1N ,AM]ICAN BOY :O SAT AT \R LUN*
TA#4 ,T "D HE LOOK$ S DI6]5T T ,I DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE HM AT F/4 ,HE _H BL1*$ 8 BLACK
HAIR A LI<T BLOND4
  ,X GOT ME ?9K+4 ,:AT WD HAPP5 IF ,I
DY$ MY HAIR1 TOO8 ,ALL MY DOLLS 7
BLONDES OR R$H1DS1 ) L;G1 L;G LEGS4 ,9
MO/ MOVIES & ,,TV %[S1 ! WOM5 H BLOND
HAIR & V BLUE EYES4 ,OBVI\SLY ? IS H[
MO/ GIRLS WANT 6LOOK4
  ,) ,H>RY'S ,ASIAN F1TURES1 ! -B9,N 0
K9D ( EXOTIC4 ,B ,I / CDN'T DECIDE :E!R
OR N ,I LIK$ X4 ,S9CE MY [N F1TURES 7
#GJ@3P ,ASIAN1 ,I'D LOOK EXOTIC IF ,I
DY$ MY HAIR1 TOO4
  ,AM&A 0 AL LOOK+ AT ,H>RY4 8,MY    #AD
SI/] ,MELISSA HAS BE5 TALK+ AB DYE+ H]
HAIR BLOND4 ,%E & MY MOM _H A T]RI# FI<T
AB X40
  8,:Y WON'T YR MOM LET H]80 ,I ASK$4
8,I SEE LOTS ( KIDS ) DY$ HAIR1 N J ,H>-
RY40
  8,MOM SAYS ,MELISSA WANTS 6*ANGE H]
HAIR 6BLOND 2C %E WANTS 6D5Y H] ,ASIAN
H]ITAGE & TRY 6LOOK :ITE40
  ,I DON'T ALW GET AL;G ) ,MELISSA4
,%E'S USU,Y 9 A S\R MOOD1 & :5 ,I G OV]
6,AM&A'S H\SE1 ,MELISSA CALLS ME 8,T
,SCOT* ,GIRL0 9 A SNE]+ K9D ( WAY4
  ,B ? "T ,I 0 ON ,MELISSA'S SIDE4 8,YR
MOM'S N 2+ FAIR4 ,LOTS ( :ITE KIDS BL1*
OR DYE _! HAIR1 "S"TS 9 RE,Y WEIRD COL-
ORS1 TOO4 ,BLACK HAIR IS S BOR+6 ,MAYBE
,MELISSA J WANTS 6%[ H] 9DEP5D;E1 OR
MAKE A FA%ION /ATE;T40
  ,AM&A LOOK$ ?"\;L4 8,I WOND] IF MY MOM
WD / SAY NO IF ,MELISSA WANT$ 6DYE H]
HAIR BLUE OR GRE54 ,!N %E CDN'T A3USE H]
( TRY+ 6LOOK :ITE40
  8,:AT IF ,I DY$ .MY HAIR R$80 ,I ASK$4
  ,AM&A LAU<$4 8,WELL1 Y'D 2 D5Y+    #AE
ONLY HALF ( YR H]ITAGE S9CE HALF ( Y IS
,SCOT*40
  ,IF ,I DID DYE MY HAIR R$1 WD MY P]-
C5TAGE G F #CJ@3P_/#GJ@3P 6#EJ@3P_/-
#EJ@3P8 ,T WAY MY \TSIDE WD MAT* MY IN-
SIDE P]C5TAGES BETT]4
  ,!N ,I REMEMB]$ "O GD R1SON N 6*ANGE
MY HAIR4 ,NAINAI 0 -+ 6VISIT SOON1 & %E
WD 2 /AY+ ) U =A FEW "DS4















                                     #AF
























                  TWO                #AG

  .,NAINAI IS :AT ,RON & ,I CALL \R ,*I-
NESE GR&"M4 ,X'S ! ,*9ESE ^W = YR "F'S
"M4 ,"! IS A DI6]5T ,*9ESE ^W = YR ."M'S
"M1 & T'S .WAIPO4 ,B ,I DON'T CALL MY
O!R GR&"M .WAIPO1 2C %E WDN'T "U/&4 ,MY
"M'S P>5TS >E ! ,MAC,MURRAYS1 & !Y CAME
OV] F ,SCOTL& ?IRTY YE>S AGO1 :5 ,MOM 0
ONLY FIVE YE>S OLD4
  ,MOM / SP1KS )A BIT (A ,SCOTTI% A35T4
,MY FRS ?9K X'S CUTE1 B FRANKLY ,I WI%
%E WDN'T ROLL H] .RS Q S H>D4 ,I ?9K %E
DOES X ON PURPOSE4
  ,NAINAI HAS AN A35T1 TOO1 B S9CE %E
SP5T MO/ ( H] LIFE 9 ,*9A1 ,I DON'T M9D
X S M*4 ,%E TELLS GRT <O/ /ORIES1 & H]
,*9ESE A35T MAKES !M S.D EV5 SC>I]4
  8,NAINAI W H 6SLEEP 9 YR ROOM :5 %E
VISITS10 ,MOM TOLD ME4 8,%E'LL H YR B$1
& Y C USE YR SLEEP+ BAG4 ,I "K Y WON'T
M9D40
  ,MOM 0 "R4 ,I DIDN'T M9D %>+ MY ROOM )
,NAINAI4 ,%E & ,I >E CLOSE4 ,I LOVE !
WAY %E SMILES AT ME & SAYS1 8,Y LOOK M &
M L YR "F40                          #AH
  ,DAD IS ,NAINAI'S FAVORITE SON1 S ? IS
A R1L -PLI;T4 ,T'S :Y ,NAINAI WD H A T]-
RI# %OCK IF ,I DY$ MY HAIR R$4 ,%E MI<T
2 HURT1 2C %E WD ?9K T ,I 0 TRY+ 6LOOK L
MY MOM 9/1D ( MY DAD4
  ,NAINAI _H 6%>E MY ROOM 2C ,MOM'S P>-
5TS1 ! ,MAC,MURRAYS1 7 -+1 TOO1 & !Y'D 2
US+ ! GUE/ ROOM4 ,!Y 7 -+ D[N F ,VANC\-
V]1 ,BRITI% ,COLUMBIA1 =! ANNUAL ,FOLK
,FE/4
  ,! ,FOLK ,FE/ IS HELD ONCE A YE> DUR+
A WEEK5D 9 SPR+1 & X'S :5 ALL ! E?NIC
GR\PS 9 \R REGION PUT ON PROGRAMS %[+ _!
>TS1 CRAFTS1 CO/UMES1 FOOD1 DRAMA1 D.E1
& MUSIC4 ,\R T1*]S &! LOCAL PAP]S & ,,TV
>E ALW TALK+ AB H[ 8E?NIC,Y DIV]SE0
,S1TTLE IS1 &! ,FOLK ,FE/ IS SUPPOS$ 6%[
(F \R DIV]S;Y4 ,\R FAMILY GOES E YE> &
WE SQUEEZE 9 Z _M %[S Z WE C4 ,9 ?REE
"DS Y C SEE P]=M.ES F E 3T95T ON E>?1 F
C.TRIES ,I _HN'T EV5 HE>D (4
  ,? YE> ,GR&PA ,MAC,MURRAY _H BE5 9VIT$
6DIRECT "S (! ,SCOTTI% DANC+ AT ! ,FOLK
,FE/4 ,MUSIC & DANC+ >E 8 TWO GRT LOVES
--MAYBE T'S ": ,I GOT MY [N LOVE (   #AI
DANC+4 ,OV] ! YE>S1 ,GR&PA HAS TAK5 "P 9
_M D.E PROGRAMS 9 ,VANC\V]1 B ? 0 ! F/
"T HE'D 2 DO+ "O 9 ,S1TTLE4
  ,S9CE ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA LIVE CLOSE BY--
,VANC\V] IS ONLY AB #AEJ MILES AWAY--!Y
VISIT U S (T5 T WE'VE GOTT5 96! HABIT (
?9K+ (! GUE/ ROOM Z ._! ROOM4
  ,? WDN'T 2 ! F/ "T MY "F'S & MY "M'S
P>5TS MET4 ,!Y 7 ALL "! = MY P>5TS' W$-
D+1 ( C\RSE1 & !Y MET DUR+ ! HOLI"DS A
FEW "TS4 ,B !Y N"E _H 6/AY TGR 9 ! SAME
H\SE = L;G4 ,DAD'S P>5TS USU,Y /AY$ AT A
HOTEL :5 !Y CAME UP F ,SAN ,FRANCISCO TO
VISIT4
  ,B S9CE ,DAD'S "F DI$ LA/ YE>1 WE ALW
9VITE ,NAINAI 6/AY ) U :5 %E IS 9 T[N1
S9CE WE DON'T WANT H] 6BE 9 A HOTEL ALL
0H]F4 ,LOTS ( O!R S+LE WOM5 D X1 (
C\RSE4 ,B ,NAINAI LOOKS K9D ( S(T &
HELP.S1 & WE C'T /& ! ?"\ ( H] DRIFT+
>.D1 L"OLY & LO/1 9 A BIG D[NT[N HOTEL4
  ,S T 0 :Y ,NAINAI WD 2 %>+ MY ROOM
?REE "DS F N[4 ,X WD AL 2 ! F/ "T %E &
,MOM'S P>5TS WD 2 SP5D+ M ?AN A WEEK
TGR4                                 #BJ
  ,I DIDN'T ?9K "!'D 2 A PRO#M4 ,GR&PA &
,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY >E HAPPY P :O L 6LAU<
A LOT & MAKE JOKES4
  ,IF ,I 0 WORRI$ AB ANY?+ DUR+ MY GR&-
P>5TS' VISIT1 X 0 ) ,DAD4 ,NORM,Y1 ,I
5JOY 2+ ,FIONA ,*5G1 DAU<T] ( ,FRANK
,*5G1 ! WRIT] & ILLU/RATOR ( *N'S BOOKS4
,X ALW GIVES ME A ?RILL :5 "O ( MY FRS
SAYS 6ME1 8,I J LOV$ YR "F'S LATE/6 ,:5
IS HE GO+ 6D ANO!R ,C[>DLY ,DRAGON
BOOK80
  ,MY BRO!R ,RON & ,I TRY 6?9K UP ID1S =
,DAD1 B 9 ! 5D HE ALW -ES UP )! BE/ "OS
HMF4 ,S ,I'M PR\D ( MY DAD--MO/ (! "T4
,X'S J :5 ,NAINAI -ES 6VISIT T ,I FEEL
EMB>RASS$4 ,= "S R1SON1 HE />TS ACT+ L A
* :5 %E'S >.D4
  ,I 2GAN 6NOTICE ? DUR+ ,NAINAI'S VISIT
LA/ YE>4 ,X 0 H] F/ AF \R GR&"F _H DI$1
S X 0 ! F/ "T %E CAME AL"O4 ,:5 BO? MY
,*9ESE GR&P>5TS 7 "H1 ! M5 USU,Y HUNG \
TGR4 ,DAD1 ,GR&"F1 & ,RON WD SIT 9 !
LIV+ ROOM :ILE ,NAINAI1 ,MOM1 & ,I PRE-
P>$ FOOD 9 ! KIT*54 ,ACTU,Y1 X 0 ,NAINAI
:O DID ! COOK+1 :ILE ,MOM & ,I       #BA
LOOK$ ON4
  ,B DUR+ ? VISIT1 ?+S 7 DI6]5T4 ,DAD
DIDN'T H 8 "F 6TALK )1 S HE CAME 96!
KIT*5 & JO9$ ,NAINAI4 ,S9CE HE NORM,Y
DID ! COOK+ ANYWAY1 ? SEEM$ P]FECTLY
NATURAL4 ,X 0 ! WAY HE TALK$ 6H] :5 !Y 7
9 ! KIT*5 T 0 S /RANGE4
  ,I NOTIC$ F/ ( ALL T 8 VOICE S.D$ HI<]
?AN USUAL4 ,EV5 WORSE1 ,I HE>D HM CALL+
H] ,MA4 ,HE S.D$ L A DOLL ,I US$ 6H T SD
8,MA0 :5 Y PRESS$ XS /OMA*4
  ,LAT] T EV5+1 HE BR"\ ,NAINAI ALL 8
NEWE/ DRAW+S & SKET*ES4 ,T SURPRIS$ ME1
2C HE N"E %[$ 8 SKET*ES 6.U4 ,I DON'T
?9K EV5 ,MOM SAW !M4 ,DAD /OOD "! PA-
TI5TLY WAIT+ :ILE ,NAINAI SL[LY LOOK$
OV] 8 "W4
  ,NAINAI FR[N$ AT "O (! DRAW+S4 ,%E
PO9T$ 6A CORN] & SD1 8.,BU .DUI40
  ,AL? ,I "K V LL ,*9ESE1 ,I DID "U/& ?
PHRASE1 : M1NS 8,N "R40
  ,DAD J B[$ 8 H1D MEEKLY & A3EPT$ H]
-;T4 ,X REM9D$ ME (! "TS :5 ,RON & ,I
BR"\ HOME \R REPORT C>DS & /OOD N]V\SLY
WAIT+ :ILE \R P>5TS LOOK$ !M OV] &   #BB
MADE -;TS4 ,X'S OKAY = ,RON & ME1 B X 0
DI6]5T :5 ,I SAW MY DAD1 A GR[N MAN1 DO+
X4
  ,MOM NOTIC$ ME LOOK+ ON4 ,I M/ H MADE
A FACE1 2C %E CALL$ ME OV] & TOOK ME 6H]
B$ROOM4 8,:Y DOES X BO!R Y1 ,FIONA1 :5
YR "F IS S ANXI\S 6PL1SE ,NAINAI80 %E
ASK$4 8,:AT'S WR;G )A * WANT+ 8 P>5T 6BE
PR\D ( HM80
  8,B T'S J ! PO9T60 ,I SD4 8,HE'S A
GR[N-UP6 ,HE LOOKS S SILLY1 2HAV+ L A *
AG60
  ,MOM SI<$ & PATT$ ! SPACE NEXT 6H] ON
! B$4 ,:5 ,I SAT D[N1 %E LOOK$ AT ME =A
MO;T ) H] HAZEL EYES1 !N TURN$ AWAY &
PLAY$ )A CURL ( H] HAIR4 ,%E ALW DOES T
:5 %E'S N Q SURE :AT 6SAY4 ,I LOVE ! WAY
H] R$ HAIR CURLS NATUR,Y4
  ,F9,Y ,MOM BROKE H] SIL;E4 8,"E S9CE
YR "F & ,I MET1 WE KEPT 4COV]+ UNEXPECT$
?+S AB EA* O!R4 ,MO/ ( ^! _H 6D ) DI6]-
;ES 2T ,*9ESE & ,WE/]N CU/OMS40
  8,:Y DID Y DECIDE 6M>RY A ,*9ESE ANY-
WAY80 ,I ASK$4 8,Y M/ H _H A LOT ( :ITE
BOYFRS40                             #BC
  ,!N ,I 0 WORRI$ T ,MOM WD 2 (F5D$ 0MY
"Q4 ,MAYBE X 0 "O T ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA
,MAC,MURRAY _H ASK$1 TOO4 ,_H !Y BE5
%OCK$ & UNHAPPY :5 ,MOM TOLD !M %E 0
PLANN+ 6M>RY A ,*9ESE MAN8
  ,MOM DIDN'T LOOK (F5D$4 8,0! "T WE DE-
CID$ 6GET M>RI$1 ,I NO L;G] ?"\ ( YR "F
Z ,*9ESE1 "PICUL>LY4 ,AF Y GET 6"K P1 Y
DON'T ?9K AB _! RACE ANYMORE4 ,Y'LL F9D
? \ = YRF "S"D40
  ,I'D ALR F.D ? \4 ,MO/ (! "T ,I DON'T
?9K ( ,AM&A Z ,JAPANESE ,AM]ICAN4 ,%E'S
J MY FR4 ,B MAK+ FRS )A P]SON ISN'T !
SAME ?+ Z ACTU,Y M>RY+ HM4
  8,H[ DID Y & ,DAD MEET80 ,I ASK$ ,MOM4
8,H[ L;G DID X TAKE Y 6GET 6"K EA* O!R &
FALL 9 LOVE80 ,I _H HE>D ? /ORY _M "TS1
B ,I LOV$ HE>+ X OV] & OV] AG4
  8,YR "F & ,I F/ MET 9 COLLEGE1 :5 A
BUN* ( U W5T 6A C;Y HALL MEET+4 ,WE 7
PROTE/+ 2C ! C;Y WANT$ 6CLOSE A P>K NE>
! CAMPUS40
  8,S !N :AT HAPP5$80
  8,! SPEE*ES GOT BOR+ AF A :ILE1 & ,I
/>T$ LOOK+ >.D10 ,MOM 3T9U$4 8,I     #BD
SAW T ! /UD5T NEXT 6ME 0 BUSILY SCRI2L+
9 8 NOTEBOOK4 ,I ?"\ AT F/ T HE 0 TAK+
NOTES4 ,!N ,I SAW T HE 0 DRAW+ FUNNY
SKET*ES (! SP1K]S4 ,HE 0 MAK+ !M ALL 9TO
ANIMALS--CATS1 DOGS1 PIGS1 GOATS ''' ,I
BUR/ \ LAU<+4 ,HE LAU<$1 TOO1 & WE MADE
S M* NOISE T AN U%] ESCORT$ U \4 ,T 0 H[
YR DAD & ,I GOT ACQUA9T$40
  8,S Y DECID$ 6/>T DAT+80
  8,N "R AWAY1 EV5 ?\< WE LIK$ EA* O!R4
,X 0 TWO YE>S 2F WE F9,Y DECID$ 6GET M>-
RI$4 ,0!N ,I ?"\ ,I RE,Y KNEW YR "F
PRETTY WELL1 & T "!'D 2 NO SURPRISES
LEFT40
  ,I SAW H] LIPS GIVE A LL TWI/4 ,:5 %E
DOES T1 ,I N"E "K :E!R %E'S AMUS$ OR
MAD4 8,S :AT 7 "S (! SURPRISES80 ,I
ASK$4
  ,? "T ,I SAW A R1L SMILE4 8,"O ( !M 0
SEE+ YR "F 2HAV+ L A * ) 8 P>5TS10 %E
SD4 8,AT ! W$D+ RECEP;N1 HE KEPT RUNN+
UP 6!M & ASK+ IF ! FOOD 0 ALL "R4 ,& ALL
! "T HE 0 ! GROOM60
  8,T M/ H MADE Y MAD10 ,I SD4 ,POOR
,MOM6 ,I 0 SURPRIS$ %E CD LAU< AB    #BE
X N[4
  ,& %E .0 LAU<+1 TOO4 8,=TUNATELY ,I _H
O!R ?+S 6?9K AB10 %E 3T9U$4 8,LAT]1 M*
LAT]1 ,I DID ASK YR "F :Y HE W5T 96! LL
BOY ACT :5"E HE SAW 8 P>5TS1 ESPECI,Y 8
"M4 ,HE 0 A/.D$1 2C HE N"E R1LIZ$ T HE
DID X4 ,F9,Y HE SD X 0 PROBABLY J FILIAL
DUTY40 ,%E LOOK$ AT ME4 8,D Y "K :AT T
IS80
  ,I %OOK MY H1D4
  8,FILIAL DUTY M1NS *N PAY+ A DEBT 6_!
P>5TS = BR++ !M UP40
  8,S FILIAL DUTY IS IMPORTANT 6! ,*I-
NESE80 ,I ASK$4
  ,MOM NO4$4 8,X'S 3SID]$ "O (! MO/ IM-
PORTANT VIRTUES1 IF N .! MO/ IMPORTANT4
,YR DAD TOLD ME A FAM\S ,*9ESE /ORY AB A
MAN ^: P>5TS 7 GR[+ OLD & FEE#4 ,6MAKE
!M FEEL BETT]1 HE 2GAN 6DROOL & CRAWL ON
! GR.D & BAB# L A BABY4 ,HE WANT$ !M TO
FEEL T !Y 7 "Y P>5TS (A NEWBORN BABY40
  ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE MY E>S4 8,GO%6 ,IS T
RE,Y A TRUE /ORY80
  8,:E!R X'S TRUE OR N1 ? MAN IS ALW
HELD UP 9 ,*9A Z AN EXAMPLE ( AN     #BF
\T/&+ SON10 SD ,MOM4
  ,IF ? 0 H[ ! ,*9ESE ?"\ A GD SON %D
2HAVE1 MAYBE !Y .7 A LOT DI6]5T F ME4
  ,I DIDN'T LOOK =W>D 6SEE+ ,DAD 2+ A GD
SON :5 ,NAINAI CAME = ? VISIT4 ,X WD 2
ESPECI,Y EMB>RASS+ ? "T1 2C ,GR&PA &
,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY 7 VISIT+1 & !Y MI<T
SEE ! WAY ,DAD 2HAV$ T[>D ,NAINAI4 ,!Y
LOV$ A GD LAU<1 & ,I USU,Y LOV$ LAU<+ )
!M4
  ,B N IF !Y 7 LAU<+ AT ,DAD4

  ,ON ,TUES"D1 ?REE "DS 2F ! />T (!
,FOLK ,FE/1 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY
>RIV$4
  ,RON & ,I HE>D A C> PULL UP \TSIDE
SOON AF WE GOT HOME F S*OOL4 ,WE HE>D
,GR&PA'S BOOM+ LAU<1 & 0! "T WE GOT 6!
FRONT DOOR1 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA 7 -+ UP !
/EPS ) _! SUITCASES4 ,!Y 7 N P :O /OOD
>.D WA/+ "T4
  ,GR&PA GAVE ,RON A CRU%+ HUG & P.D$ HM
ON ! BACK4 8,WELL1 LOOK "H60 HE CRI$4
8,IF X ISN'T ,FU ,MAN*U HMF60
  ,FU ,MAN*U 0 A ,*9ESE VILLA9 9     #BG
"S OLD BOOKS POPUL> 9 ! #AICJ;S1 & EV5
N[ HE IS / HELD UP Z AN EXAMPLE (! S9I/]
,ORI5TAL4 ,B ,RON ONLY LAU<$4 ,X 0 AN
OLD JOKE 2T HM & ,GR&PA4 ,S9CE ,RON HAS
R$DI% HAIR & ,MOM'S FRECKLES1 HE DOESN'T
LOOK ANY?+ L ,FU ,MAN*U1 ) 8 L;G MU/A*E1
SALL[ SK91 & SLANT$ EYES4
  ,GR&MA RAN UP 6GIVE ME A HUG4 8,HELLO1
,FIONA1 LASS4 ,MY1 Y'VE GR[N ANO!R ?REE
9*ES S9CE WE LA/ SAW Y40
  ,S9CE %E _H SE5 ME ONLY A MON? AGO1 ,I
KNEW ? WASN'T TRUE4 ,GR&MA LOVES 6EXA7]-
ATE1 & IF %E _H SD ,I'D GR[N ONLY TWO
9*ES1 ,I WD H BE5 9SULT$4
  ,RON & ,I HELP$ C>RY \R GR&P>5TS' LUG-
GAGE UP 6! GUE/ ROOM4 ,NATUR,Y WE /UCK
>.D :ILE !Y UNPACK$4 ,I'D 2 A LI> IF ,I
SD ,I WASN'T EXPECT+ !M 6BR+ GIFTS4 ,F
,GR&PA'S SUITCASE CAME A PL1T$ WOOL5
SKIRT 9 ! ,MAC,MURRAY T>TAN1 : ,I _H
LE>N$ 6RECOGNIZE4
  8,W[60 ,I CRI$1 SNAT*+ ! SKIRT & HOLD+
X UP 6MY WAI/4 ,X 0 J ! "R L5G? = ME4
  8,X'S N = Y1 ,FIONA60 SD ,GR&PA4
8,DON'T Y "K T KILTS >E = LA4IES80   #BH
  ,HE HELD ! KILT \ 6,RON1 :O TURN$ P9K
Z HE A3EPT$ ! GIFT & MUM#D 8 ?ANKS4
  ,NEXT1 ,GR&PA TOOK \ A L1!R PURSE &A
CAP4 ,AG1 ,I />T$ 6R1* \1 B !Y TURN$ \
6BE = ,RON1 TOO4 8,? PURSE IS CALL$ A
SPORRAN10 ,GR&PA TOLD HM1 8& Y HANG X F
YR WAI/ S X DANGLES 9 FRONT4 ,! CAP IS
CALL$ A ,BALMORAL40
  ,RON'S EMB>RASS;T ALM MADE UP = MY
4APPO9T;T4
  8,HEY1 ,RON10 ,I CRI$1 8LET'S SEE Y
PUT ! :OLE \TFIT ON S Y C %[ (F 6YR
FRS60
  8,I TOLD Y ! POOR LAD WD 2 EMB>RASS$1
,ALEC10 ,GR&MA SD 6,GR&PA4 8,? IS ,AM]I-
CA6 ,:AT WD HE D )A KILT "H80
  8,HE C WE> X & 2 PR\D ( X60 DCLD ,GR&-
PA4 8,WE ,MAC,MURRAYS H WORN ! KILT =
HUNDR$S ( YE>S60
  8,NONS5SE10 ,GR&MA SD4 8,! KILT WASN'T
EV5 9V5T$ UNTIL ! EI<TE5? C5TURY40
  ,RON B"R5$ UP4 8,RE,Y8 ,S ,SCOTTI% M5
DIDN'T ALW WE> X80
  8,T DOESN'T MAKE X ANY LESS AU!NTIC60
9SI/$ ,GR&PA4 ,AF A MO;T1 HE GR9N$   #BI
%EEPI%LY & A4$1 8,B YR GR&MA'S "R4 ,"S
FACTORY [N] OR ANO!R 4COV]$ T ! L;G
PLAID 8 "W]S WORE KEPT GETT+ CAU<T 9 !
MA*9]Y4 ,S HE MADE !M WE> A %ORT] G>;T4
,& T'S H[ ! KILT 0 DEVELOP$40
  ,GR&MA TURN$ 6ME4 8,& ? IS YR GIFT1
,FIONA4 ,YR "M TOLD ME :AT Y NE$$1 & ,I
GOT ! BI7E/ "O ,I CD F9D40
  ,%E HELD \ A BIG P9K CLAY PIG4 ,I 0
BORN 9 ! ,YE> (! ,PIG1 AC 6! ,*9ESE CAL-
5D>1 & ,I'VE GOT LOTS ( /U6$ PIGS1 T9Y
PIG FIGUR9ES1 &( C\RSE GREET+ C>DS )
NO?+ B PIGS4 ,I 0 DELI<T$ 6ADD ,GR&MA'S
CLAY PIG 6MY COLLEC;N4 ,X WORE A HUGE1
SMUG GR91 & ,I F.D MYF GR9N+ BACK AT X4
8,?ANK Y1 ,GR&MA60 ,I SD4
  8,X'S A BANK10 SD ,GR&MA4 8,YR "M SD
X'S "T = Y 6LE>N H[ 6SAVE M"OY40
  ,!N ,I NOTIC$ T "! 0 A SLIT ON ! BACK
(! PIG4 ,SU45LY ! EXPRES.N ON ! PIG'S
FACE LOOK$ A LOT LESS FRLY4 ,X 2CAME DE-
M&+4 8,PUT YR ALL[.E 9 "H60 X SD4 8,/OP
WA/+ M"OY60 X SD4
  ,MOM LIKES 6SAY T %E -ES F A L;G L9E (
?R-R-R-IFTY P1 S9CE ! ,SCOTS H A     #CJ
REPUT,N = 2+ GRT SAV]S4 ,B ,GR&PA &
,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY >5'T NE>LY Z /+Y Z
,MOM4 ,%E GETS X AL F 2+ A MA!MATICIAN4
,X'S PROBABLY J ,MOM'S WAY ( HAV+ FUN4
  ,X C 2 RE,Y EMB>RASS+ :5 WE G \ 6A
RE/AURANT ) O!R FAMILIES &! WAITRESS -ES
)! BILL4 ,MOM IS ALW ASK$ 6FIGURE \ H[
M* EA* FAMILY [ES 2C %E'S ! MA!MATICIAN4
,%E TAKES .AGES 6FIGURE "EY?+ D[N 6! LA/
P5NY :ILE ! WAITRESS /&S "! LOOK+ PA-
TI5T4 ,AT "TS L T1 ,I WANT 6CRAWL "U !
TA# & DIE4
  ,ONCE1 ANO!R "M LO/ H] PATI;E & SD1
8,:Y DON'T ,I J PAY = "EY?+8 ,Y C D X
NEXT "T40
  ,B ,MOM WDN'T HE> ( X4 8,I DON'T WANT
6PAY A P5NY .LESS ?AN :AT ,I [E4 ,B ,I
DON'T WANT 6PAY A P5NY .M1 EI40
  ,X'S ALM Z EMB>RASS+ :5 X'S ,MOM'S
TURN 6DRIVE ,AM&A & ME 6! LIBR>Y ON
WEEK5DS4 ,WE'D DRIVE >.D & >.D & >.D
LOOK+ =A P>K+ PLACE4
  8,HEY1 "!'S A SPACE60 ,AM&A YELLS4 ,B
,MOM WON'T TAKE X4 ,%E HAS 6F9D A P>K+
PLACE ) "T LEFT ON ! MET]4           #CA
  8,9/1D ( SAV+10 ,I TRI$ 6PO9T \ 6H]
ONCE1 8,I BET Y SP5D A LOT M M"OY ON GAS
F ! EXTRA DRIV+40
  ,B ,MOM J LAU<$4 8,X'S ! PR9CIPLE (!
?+40
  ,:5 %E GOES %OPP+1 ,MOM BR+S H] OLD
BR[N PAP] %OPP+ BAGS1 : %E'S US$ & REUS$
UNTIL ! BR[N PAP] 2COMES S(T & ALM FUR-
RY4 ,ONCE1 ,AM&A W5T 6! /ORE ) U1 & Z %E
HELP$ U C>RY ! GROC]IES1 %E LOOK$ AT H]
BAG ) WOND]4 8,W[1 ? BAG M/ 2 RE,Y AN-
CI5T60
  8,ALL ( ,MOM'S BAGS >E AT L1/ ?REE
YE>S OLD10 ,I SD1 G+]LY SUPPORT+ MY BAG
( GROC]IES AG/ MY *E/4
  8,Y'RE REUS+ OLD PAP] BAGS 2C Y WANT
6SAVE A TREE1 DON'T Y1 ,MRS4 ,*5G80 SD
,AM&A4 8,T'S GRT6 ,\R T1*] SAYS T US+ A
LOT ( PLA/IC BAGS IS BAD =! 5VIRON;T1
TOO40
  8,MOM'S RE,Y DO+ X 2C ! /ORE GIVES H]
BACK A NICKEL :5 %E BR+S BACK H] [N PAP]
BAGS10 ,I TOLD ,AM&A4
  8,?R-R-R-RIFT60 SD ,MOM1 & W9K$4 ,%E
LOOK$ V "Y :5 %E SD ?1 MAK+ ME       #CB
FEEL ALM L H] OLD] SI/]4 ,SAV+ M"OY IS A
GAME ,MOM LOVES 6PLAY1 & 2+ BO? A ?RIFTY
,SCOT &A MA!MATICIAN IS J AN EXCUSE4
  ,B "S"TS ,I J WI% %E'D ACT L O!R P'S
"MS4

  ,MAYBE ,MOM LIK$ 6PLAY SAV+ GAMES1 B
,I DIDN'T4 ,/1 ,I TOOK ! PI7YBANK F
,GR&MA & TRI$ 6LOOK GRATE;L4
  ,GR&MA SEEM$ 6R1D MY M9D4 8,PUT 9 MO/-
LY CO9S10 %E SU7E/$ )A W9K4 8,!Y MAKE A
BI7] CLATT] ?AN PAP] M"OY40
  ,DAD CAME HOME A LL :ILE LAT] & GREET$
,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY W>MLY4 ,HE'S
ALW GOTT5 ON WELL ) !M1 EV5 IF HE F9DS
!M PUZZL+ "S"TS4 ,!Y GET AL;G ) HM1 TOO1
B !Y F9D HM J Z PUZZL+4 ,I'VE SE5 _!
JAWS LIT],Y DROP4
  ,ONCE1 ,GR&PA ,MAC,MURRAY %[$ (F A NEW
CA%M]E SC>F HE _H B"\4
  ,DAD ADMIR$ X1 !N ASK$1 8,H[ M* DID X
CO/80
  8,X CO/ Q 5\<10 ,GR&PA SD /I6LY4
  ,AFW1 ,I OV]HE>D ,MOM SAY+ 6,GR&PA1
8,FRANK DIDN'T M1N 6BE NOSY4 ,!      #CC
,*9ESE (T5 ASK P H[ M* ?+S CO/4 ,X'S _!
WAY ( %[+ APPRECI,N40
  ,GR&PA %OOK 8 H1D 9 2WILD];T4 8,I'LL H
6GET US$ 6X1 ,I SUPPOSE40
  ,I HATE 6?9K H[ 2WILD]$ ,GR&PA & ,GR&-
MA ,MAC,MURRAY WD 2 IF ,DAD "E US$ BABY
TALK ) !M4 ,=TUNATELY1 HE HASN'T TRI$ X
YET4
  ,ANO!R ?+ !Y C'T FIGURE \ IS :Y ,DAD
DOES MO/ (! COOK+--N ONLY T1 B HE SEEMS
65JOY X4 ,TN ,DAD W5T /RAI<T 96! KIT*5
AF GREET+ !M4 ,SOON ,I CD HE> ! S.DS (!
FRIDGE DOOR OP5+1 ! FAUCET 2+ TURN$ ON1
&! CLATT] ( POTS & PANS 2+ TAK5 \4
  ,GR&MA LOOK$ AT ME4 8,>5'T Y GO+ 6HELP
YR PA1 ,FIONA80 %E ASK$4
  8,DAD DOESN'T L P GETT+ 9 8 WAY10 ,I
EXPLA9$4 8,LAT]1 ,I'LL HELP SET ! TA#1 &
,RON & ,I W D ! DI%ES1 ( C\RSE40
  ,= Z L;G Z ,I C REMEMB]1 ,DAD HAS ALW
D"O ! COOK+4 ,X WASN'T UNTIL ,GR&PA &
,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY M5;N$ X T ,I R1LIZ$ ?
0 UNUSUAL1 & T 9 MO/ FAMILIES ! "M DID !
COOK+4
  ,DAD PREF]S 6D ! COOK+ 2C HE       #CD
GETS HOME E>LI] F 8 JOB1 : IS "W+ Z A
TRANSLATOR =A -PANY T DOES BUSI;S ) ,*I-
NA4 ,HE HAS ONLY A "P-"T JOB S T HE HAS
"T 6"W ON 8 BOOKS4
  ,S9CE ,MOM T1*ES FULL-"T & USU,Y -ES
HOME LAT] ?AN ,DAD1 %E'S GLAD 6H HM D !
COOK+4 ,RON & ,I >E HAPPY AB X1 TOO4
,MOM IS A L\SY COOK4 ,:5 ,DAD HAS 6G
AWAY 6GIVE TALKS AT S*OOLS & LIBR>IES1
,RON & ,I USU,Y BEG ,MOM 6TAKE U 6"S
FA/-FOOD PLACE4
  ,MOM CAME HOME J Z ,I 0 SETT+ ! TA#4
,Z %E GREET$ H] P>5TS H] ,SCOTTI% A35T
2CAME A LOT /R;G]4 ,9 FACT ,I _H TR\#
"U/&+ "S ( _! TALK4
  ,X DIDN'T TAKE L;G 6EX*ANGE NEWS1 S9CE
WE SEE ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ONCE E O!R MON?1
EI :5 !Y -E D[N "H OR :5 WE DRIVE UP TO
,VANC\V]4
  8,D Y WANT 6D "S %OPP+ OR G 6! >T MU-
SEUM80 ,MOM ASK$ Z WE SAT D[N 6D9N]4 8,!
,FOLK ,FE/ DOESN'T />T = ANO!R ?REE
"DS40
  8,WE'LL 2 NE$+ ALL ?REE "DS =! D.ERS
6PRACTICE10 SD ,GR&PA4 8,WD X 2      #CE
ALL "R ) Y IF WE REHE>SE "R "H 9 ? H\SE8
,EI<T "Y/]S JUMP+ UP & D[N C PRODUCE A
GRT D1L ( NOISE40
  ,MOM SMIL$4 8,I'M US$ 6! NOISE4 ,I
GREW UP ) X1 REMEMB]8 ,"!'S 5 SPACE "H 9
! LIV+ ROOM1 IF WE ROLL ! RUG BACK40
  ,I 0 RE,Y EXCIT$1 2C ? WD GIVE ME A
*.E 6SEE ! D.ERS PRACTIC+1 9/1D ( J
WAT*+ ! ACTUAL P]=M.E4 8,I'D LOVE 6JO9 !
DANC+ "S"D10 ,I SD4
  ,!N ,I NOTIC$ T ,GR&MA 0 LOOK+ AT ME )
A HUGE SMILE4 8,Y'RE AB 6GET YR WI%1 D>-
L+10 %E SD4 8,"O ( \R D.ERS _H 6DROP \
AT ! LA/ M9UTE1 & %E FELT T]RI# AB X4 ,B
,I TOLD H] ,I "K (A SUB/ITUTE "R "H 9
,S1TTLE40
  ,X TOOK ME A MO;T 6"U/& :AT %E M1NT4
.,I 0 GO+ 6BE ! SUB/ITUTE6 ,I WANT$ TO
:OOP & />T DANC+ "R T M9UTE4 ,MY HAPPI;S
0 -PLETE :5 ,GR&MA SD1 8,=! D.E1 Y'LL 2
WE>+ ,RON'S KILT40
  8,Y'LL ONLY 2 WE>+ X =! D.E1 M9D10
,GR&PA TOLD ME4 8,AFW1 Y'LL H 6RETURN X
6YR BRO!R40
  ,I NO4$4 ,I 0 S HAPPY AB JO9+ !    #CF
DANC+ T ,I DIDN'T M9D ! ?"\ ( GIV+ UP !
KILT IMMLY AFW4
  ,I "K A LL ,SCOTTI% DANC+4 ,ONCE1
,GR&PA & ,GR&MA TOOK ,RON & ME 6A ,SCOT-
TI% FE/IVAL 9 ,VANC\V] CALL$ ! ,HI<L&
,GAMES1 & ,I IMMLY FELL 9 LOVE )! DANC+4
,:5 ,I SAW ! D.ERS L1P+ 9 ! AIR1 ,I
WANT$ 6B\NCE ) JOY4
  ,! D.E T IMPRESS$ ME ! MO/ 0 ! "O ": !
D.ER HOPP$ REP1T$LY OV] A PAIR ( CROSS$
SWORDS ON ! GR.D4 ,GR&PA TOLD ME X 0
CALL$ .,GILLIC .,CALUM4 ,! D.ER SKIPP$ S
N1TLY & LI<TLY T X LOOK$ EASY1 B ,I KNEW
X M/ 2 V H>D1 EV5 DANG]\S4 ,YET ! D.ER
LOOK$ L HE 0 HAV+ A GRT "T4 ,MAYBE !
DANG] A4$ 6! EXCITE;T4
  ,AFW1 ,I BE7$ ,GR&PA 6T1* ME ! /EPS (
"S ,SCOTTI% D.ES4 ,HE ABSOLUTELY REFUS$
6T1* ME ! SWORD D.E1 NO MATT] H[ H>D ,I
TRI$ 6P]SUADE HM4 ,I WOND]$ :E!R HE RE-
FUS$ 2C X 0 TOO DANG]\S OR 2C ,I 0 A
GIRL4 ,:AT IF ,RON _H ASK$ ,GR&PA 6T1*
HM ! SWORD D.E8
  ,( C\RSE ,RON _HN'T ASK$4 ,AT ! ,HI<L&
,GAMES1 ,RON _HN'T G"O 6ANY (!       #CG
D.ES1 ONLY 6! SPORTS GAMES4
  ,B ,GR&PA _HN'T GIV5 UP ON GETT+ ,RON
96HIS TR\PE AT ? YE>'S ,FOLK ,FE/4
8,DON'T Y WANT 6GIVE ! DANC+ A TRY1
,RON80 HE ASK$4 8,Y'LL L X6 ,I'VE SE5 H[
LI<T Y >E ON YR FEET40
  ,RON %OOK 8 H1D & SD QKLY1 8,I'LL 2
TOO BUSY 6PRACTICE4 ,I PROMIS$ MY T1*]
6HELP COA* "S (! "Y] BOYS 9 MY KUNG FU
CLASS40
  ,GR&PA SI<$4 8,ALL "R1 ,I WON'T =CE
Y40
  ,I CDN'T HELP FEEL+ J1L\S4 ,RON 0
,GR&PA'S R$H1D$ LA4IE1 ! "O :O1 0"RS1 %D
2 WE>+ ! KILT4
  ,X MADE ME FEEL BETT] :5 ,GR&MA SD1
8,FIONA W D SPL5DIDLY 9 ! D.E4 ,I J "K
X40
  ,RON 0 M *E];L1 TOO4 ,N ONLY 0 HE SAFE
F ! DANC+1 HE 0 AL SAV$ F ! KILT4 8,\R
FAMILY IS GO+ 6BE RE,Y 9VOLV$ 9 ! ,FOLK
,FE/ ? YE>10 HE SD4
  8,:O ELSE IS GO+ 6TAKE "P80 ASK$ ,GR&-
MA4
  8,I'M GO+ 6-PETE 9 ! JUNIOR DI-    #CH
VI.N (! KUNG FU EXHIBI;N B\TS ON ,SAT-
UR"D MORN+10 SD ,RON4
  ,I KNEW HE 0 V PR\D T 8 T1M _H BE5 *O-
S5 6-PETE4 ,= WEEKS1 ,RON _H BE5 TALK+
AB ! KUNG FU EXHIBI;N AT ! ,FOLK ,FE/1 &
HE _H BE5 PRACTIC+ FURI\SLY4 ,"! 0 A GD
*.E T HE MI<T W9 8 B\T 9 ! EXHIBI;N4
  ,DAD SPOKE UP4 8,WE'LL ALL 2 BUSY AT !
FE/IVAL4 ,I'VE BE5 ASK$ 6TALK AT A SES.N
AB *N'S BOOKS 0LOCAL AU?ORS40
  ,I FELT A SURGE ( PRIDE4 ,DAD IS A GD
SP1K]1 FUNNY 9 8 QUIET WAY1 &! KIDS LOVE
HM4 ,B :Y _HN'T HE TOLD U SOON]8
  ,T 0 EXACTLY :AT ,GR&PA ,MAC,MURRAY
SD4 8,:Y DID Y KEEP ! NEWS 6YRF UNTIL
N[1 ,FRANK80
  ,DAD SMIL$4 8,WELL1 X'S SUPPOS$ 6BE A
SURPRISE1 B S9CE "EYBODY ELSE IS TALK+
AB ! FE/IVAL1 ,I CDN'T RESI/ -+ \ )!
NEWS40
  ,:Y DID HE H 6KEEP X A SURPRISE8 ,I
2GAN 6SUSPECT "! 0 M 6,DAD'S TALK ?AN HE
0 TELL+ U4
  ,ANYWAY1 ? YE>'S ,FOLK ,FE/ 0 GO+ 6BE
"O (! BE/ "E = \R FAMILY4 ,I         #CI
DIDN'T SEE H[ ANY?+ CD SPOIL X4























                                     #DJ
























                  ?REE               #DA

  ,Z SOON Z ,I CAME HOME F S*OOL ON
,W$NES"D1 ,GR&PA 2GAN 6T1* ME ! D.ES
WE'D 2 DO+ AT ! FE/IVAL4 ,I _H TAK5 "S
FOLK DANC+ CLASSES1 B ,I / _H 6PRACTICE
2F ,I 0 R1DY 6JO9 ! O!R D.ERS -+ OV] T
EV5+4
  ,FOOT"W WASN'T ! ONLY ?+ ,I NE$$ "W
ON4 ,I AL _H 6"K H[ 6HOLD MY H&S3 :5 TO
RAISE : "O OV] MY H1D1 & :5 6KEEP !M ON
MY WAI/ 7,GR&PA CALL$ ? POSI;N 8AKIM-
BO074 ,! F+]S _H 6BE J "R1 TOO4
  ,GR&PA'S TR\PE 3SI/$ ( EI<T D.ERS1 &
\R PROGRAM WD />T ) "S ,HI<L& REELS4 ,I
ALR KNEW ! /EPS (! REEL3 ADV.E "R FOOT1
CLOSE ) LEFT FOOT1 ADV.E "R & HOP1 !N
ADV.E LEFT1 & S ON4 ,:AT ,I NE$$ 0 PRAC-
TICE DO+ ! /EPS 9 LOOPS T W.D BACK & =?1
: 7 TYPICAL ( REELS4
  ,I AL NE$$ DRILL+ ON ! WAY 6MOVE MY
%\LD]S S T ,I CD PASS ANO!R D.ER BACK TO
BACK )\T ! TWO ( U BUMP+ 96EA* O!R4 ,"U
,GR&PA'S DIREC;NS1 ,I SP5T "S "T TRY+ TO
MOVE LI<TLY & EASILY1 & 6LOOK Z IF ,I 0
HAV+ A GD "T4 ,ACTU,Y1 ,I .0 HAV+    #DB
A GD "T1 B MAK+ X LOOK EASY WASN'T EASY4
  ,AF D9N]1 ,GR&MA HELP$ ME PUT ON MY
CO/UME =! D.E4 ,AT LA/1 ,I GOT 6PUT ON
,RON'S KILT6
  8,I DON'T "K :AT ! _W IS -+ TO10 GRUM-
#D ,GR&PA :5 HE SAW ME ALL DRESS$ UP 9 !
KILT & BL\SE & WE>+ ! SPORRAN & ,BALMOR-
AL CAP4
  8,Y H 6FACE R1L;Y1 ,ALEC10 ,GR&MA TOLD
HM4 8,N[A"DS Y C'T F9D _M BOYS :O L TO
D.E40
  ,/RICTLY SP1K+1 WE 7 SUPPOS$ 6BE F\R
BOYS & F\R GIRLS = MO/ (! D.ES4 ,B EV5 9
,VANC\V]1 ,GR&PA'S TR\PE ALW _H FEW]
BOYS ?AN GIRLS1 S HE _H 6H "S GIRLS
DRESS$ Z BOYS4 ,"EYBODY WORE PLAID
SKIRTS & FRILLY BL\SES &! SAME K9D (
BONNET1 & F A 4T.E1 Y CDN'T TELL ! BOYS
F ! GIRLS4
  ,! :OLE TR\PE ( D.ERS CAME OV] AF D9-
N]4 ,9CLUD+ ME1 \R GR\P 3SI/$ ( FIVE
GIRLS & ?REE BOYS4 ,MO/ (! D.ERS 7 N M*
OLD] ?AN ,I WAS4 ,GR&PA TOLD ME T HE 0 9
*>GE (! "Y] GR\P1 B "! 0 AL ANO!R TR\PE
( OLD] D.ERS DO+ M -PLICAT$ /UFF4    #DC
  ,LOOK+ >.D AT ! O!R D.ERS1 ,I CDN'T
HELP NOTIC+ T !Y LOOK$ V DI6]5T F ME4
,!Y ALL _H BR[NI% OR R$ HAIR & PALE SK94
,S"EAL _H FRECKLES4 ,MY BLACK HAIR &
D>K] SK9 RE,Y /OOD \ 9 ! CR[D4 ,I TRI$ N
6LET X BO!R ME4
  ,WE />T$ PRACTIC+ 9 ! LIV+ ROOM1 &
SOON ! :OLE H\SE %OOK Z WE ?UMP$ & /AMP$
& HOPP$ & SKIPP$4 ,2SS COA*+ U ON !
DANC+1 ,GR&PA PROVID$ ! MUSIC ) 8 FI4LE4
,ONCE1 ,I CALL$ 8 9/RU;T A VIOL91 & HE
CORRECT$ ME4 8,I'M A FI4L]1 N "O ( YR
/UCK-UP VIOL9I/S60 HE DCLD4 ,FI4L] OR
VIOL9I/1 HE 0 GD1 &! TUNES J L1P$ (F 8
9/RU;T & SET \R FEET JUMP+ 6KEEP "T4
  ,EV5 AF A :OLE AFN ( PRACTIC+ ) ,GR&-
PA1 DANC+ )! O!RS 0 A *ALL5GE4 ,I DIDN'T
H TOO M* TR\# MAK+ MY FEET D ! "R /EPS &
KEEP+ MY >MS 9 ! "R POSI;N4 ,B ,I SAW
:AT ,GR&PA M1NT AB 2+ 9 ! "R PLACE AT !
"R "T4 ,SOON AF WE 2GAN1 ,I BUMP$ 96AN-
O!R D.ER--A GIRL AB MY AGE ) CURLY G+]
HAIR4 ,%E J SMIL$ & KEPT ON DANC+4 ,AF
T1 ,I 3C5TRAT$ H>D] & MANAG$ N 6BUMP
ANYBODY AG4                          #DD
  ,I LOVE ALL K9DS ( DANC+1 & ,I 0 A LL
4APPO9T$ T ,DAD CDN'T T1* ME ANY ,*9ESE
D.ES4 8,*9ESE F>M]S DID "S FOLK DANC+1
USU,Y 3NECT$ ) RICE PLANT+ OR H>VE/+10
HE SD4 8,B MO/ O!R D.ES 7 D"O 0PROFES.N-
ALS 9 ! OLD "DS40
  8,:AT AB N[80 ,I ASK$4 8,IS "! M*
DANC+ 9 ,*9A ^! "DS80
  ,DAD SMIL$4 8,ACTU,Y1 _M ,*9ESE 9 !
CITIES PREF] ,WE/]N BALLROOM DANC+60
  ,S T'S :Y ,I DON'T "K ANY TRADI;NAL
,*9ESE D.ES4 ,I D "K "S ,AM]ICAN FOLK
D.ES1 B ,I / ?9K ! ,SCOTTI% D.ES >E !
MO/ FUN4 ,Z WE REHE>S$ 9 \R LIV+ ROOM1
,I CD ALM IMAG9E MYF L1P+ >.D 9 ! PURPLE
H1!R4
  ,AF AN H\R ( DANC+1 ,GR&PA CALL$ =A
BR1K4 ,8 FACE 0 /R1M+ ) SW1T1 8 ?AT* (
R$-GRAY HAIR 0 /&+ ON 5D L A RU/Y ,BRIL-
LO PAD1 & 8 EYES 7 %9+4 ,HE LOVES DANC+
Z M* Z ,I D1 & ,I 0 DET]M9$ 6MAKE HM
PR\D ( ME1 EV5 ?\< HE RE,Y WANT$ ,RON1 N
ME1 6BE 9 ! D.E TR\PE4
  ,AT ! ?"\ ( ,RON1 ,I LOOK$ >.D & F.D
HM SITT+ ON ! S(A ) ,GR&MA4 ,BO? (   #DE
!M _H BE5 WAT*+ ! REHE>SAL4 ,"O (! BOYS
9 ! GR\P W5T OV] 6,RON1 &! TWO ( !M />T$
TALK+4
  8,HEY1 :Y >5'T Y DANC+80 ! BOY ASK$4
  ,RON GR9N$1 LOOK+ A BIT EMB>RASS$4 8,!
DANC+ LOOKS OKAY1 B ,I DON'T "K IF ,I C
MANAGE ALL T HOPP+ :ILE WE>+ A SKIRT40
  8,X'S N A SKIRT10 PROTE/$ ! BOY4 8,X'S
A KILT40
  8,SKIRT1 KILT1 :AT'S ! DI6];E80 SD
,RON4
  8,I "K :AT'S BO!R+ Y10 SD ! BOY4
8,Y'RE AFRAID P W ?9K Y'RE A SISSY4
,WELL1 LET ME TELL Y '''0
  ,I NOTIC$ T ,GR&PA _H BE5 LI/5+ 6! EX-
*ANGE4 ,N[ HE MOV$ =W>D4 8,-E ON1 LET'S
GET BACK 6! PRACTICE10 HE SD4 8,WE DON'T
H "T 6WA/E1 & WE H 6D BETT] 9 T LA/
REEL4 ,"S ( Y 7 FALL+ 2H 9 YR HOPS40
  ,AF ANO!R H\R ( PRACTIC+1 WE 7 RE,Y
EXHAU/$4 ,GR&PA DCLD T WE _H PRACTIC$ 5
=! NI<T1 & WE ALL FLOPP$ D[N ON ! FLOOR
& GROAN$ ) RELIEF4 ,I /RU7L$ UP & HELP$
,GR&MA S]VE JUICE & COOKIES 6! D.ERS4
  ,I />T$ TALK+ 6! GIRL ,I _H        #DF
BUMP$ 96E>LI]4 8,HI1 ,I'M ,MA7IE ,GU?-
RIE10 %E SD4 8,? IS MY F/ "T )! ,SCOTTI%
D.E TR\PE4 ,H[ AB Y80 ,MA7IE'S G+]-
COLOR$ CURLS N[ HUNG LIMP ) SW1T4
  8,I'M ,FIONA ,*5G10 ,I TOLD H]4 8,? IS
MY F/ "T1 TOO40
  ,MA7IE TOOK A COOKIE & LOOK$ CURI\SLY
AT ME4 8,Y'RE ,*9ESE1 >5'T Y8 ,D Y "K
ANY ,*9ESE D.ES80
  8,NO1 MY DAD HASN'T TAU<T ME ANY ,*I-
NESE D.ES10 ,I SD LI<TLY4 8,B ,I ?9K
,SCOTTI% DANC+ IS M FUN ?AN ANY O!R K9D4
,& ,I'M HALF ,SCOTTI% TOO10 ,I CDN'T
HELP A4+4
  ,AL? ,I TRI$ N 6%[ X1 ,I 0 BO!R$ 0H]
"Q4 ,NORM,Y ,I DON'T M9D LOOK+ ,*9ESE4
,B N[ ,I 0 V 3SCI\S T ,I DIDN'T 2L;G4 ,I
FELT L A PRUNE 9 A B[L ( /RAWB]RIES4
  ,I 2GAN 6?9K X WD HELP IF ,I DID DYE
MY HAIR4 ,X WD MAKE ME FIT 9 A LL BETT]
)! RE/ (! TR\PE4 ,& ,I 0 TIR$ ( FEEL+
LEFT \4 ,I WANT$ 6BL5D 9 =A *ANGE4

  ,AT S*OOL ON ,?URS"D1 ,I TOLD ,AM&A ,I
0 ?9K+ ( DYE+ MY HAIR4 ,%E />$ AT    #DG
ME4 8,D Y RE,Y M1N X80
  8,I'M DANC+ 9 MY GR&"F'S TR\PE10 ,I
TOLD H]4 8,ALL ! O!R KIDS H R$ OR AUBURN
HAIR4 ,"O BOY HAS LI<T BR[N HAIR1 B NO-
BODY HAS BLACK HAIR L ME40
  8,B :AT W YR FOLKS SAY80 ASK$ ,AM&A4
  8,I DON'T WANT !M 6"K UNTIL X'S ALL
D"O10 ,I SD4 ,2F ,I LO/ MY N]VE1 ,I QKLY
A4$1 8,I NE$ YR HELP1 ,AM&A4 ,C ,I -E
OV] AF S*OOL & DYE MY HAIR AT YR H\SE80
  ,AM&A GULP$4 8,OKAY4 ,MAYBE WE C GET
,MELISSA 6HELP4 ,L ,I TOLD Y1 %E'S BE5
?9K+ AB DYE+ H] HAIR1 B %E / HASN'T MADE
UP H] M9D 6D X40 ,AF A MO;T1 %E SD1
8,MAYBE SEE+ Y D X W HELP H] DECIDE40
  ,2F GO+ 6! ,TANAKAS' AF S*OOL1 ,AM&A &
,I W5T 6! NE>E/ DRUG/ORE 6BUY "S HAIR
DYE4 ,I F.D S _M DI6]5T K9DS ( DYES T ,I
_H NO IDEA :AT 6GET4 8,:AT COLOR >E Y
TRY+ =80 ASK$ ,AM&A4 ,X 0 A GD "Q4 ,I J
WANT$ "S?+ T WDN'T MAKE ME /ICK \ 9 !
D.E TR\PE4 8,WELL1 MAYBE ,I %D AIM =
,RON'S HAIR COLOR40
  ,MOM'S HAIR IS A FI]Y R$1 B ,RON'S
HAIR IS CLOS] 6! COLOR ON ! PACK-    #DH
AGE LABEL$ 8*E/NUT40 ,S T 0 :AT ,I W.D
UP BUY+4
  ,WE F.D ,MELISSA AT HOME4 ,Z USUAL1 %E
LOOK$ AT ME )\T M* FRLI;S4 ,B H] EXPRES-
.N *ANG$ :5 ,AM&A SD1 8,FIONA WANTS 6DYE
H] HAIR R$1 ,MELISSA4 ,C Y HELP H] )!
DYE+80
  ,MELISSA BROKE 96A SMILE4 8,SURE6
,HEY1 :5 MY MOM SEES H[ NICE YR HAIR
LOOKS1 MAYBE %E'LL *ANGE H] M9D & LET ME
DYE M9E40
  ,WE GOT 6"W4 ,ACTU,Y1 X 0 ,MELISSA :O
DID ALL ! "W1 :ILE ,AM&A /OOD >.D GETT+
9 "EYBODY'S WAY 9 ! CR[D$ BA?ROOM4 ,ME-
LISSA PUT ON A PAIR ( RU2] GLOVES T CAME
)! KIT & SQUEEZ$ ! GOO F ! TUBE ( DYE4
,"UN1? ! /R;G P]FUME1 ,I CD TELL "! 0
ANO!R SMELL1 "S?+ *EMICAL4 ,I DIDN'T "K
:AT X WAS1 & ,I DIDN'T WANT 6"K4
  ,AF ALL ! GOO 0 US$ UP & "W$ 96MY
HAIR1 ,MELISSA /OOD BACK & LOOK$ AT ME
?"\;LLY4 8,HMM ''' YR HAIR / LOOKS AW;L-
LY D>K4 ,MAYBE X'S 2C X 0 ALM BLACK 6/>T
)40
  8,WE PROBABLY H 6WAIT A LL 2F !    #DI
COLOR *ANGES10 SU7E/$ ,AM&A4
  ,WE WAIT$ = AB T5 M9UTES1 :ILE ,I SAT
ON ! $GE (! BA?TUB & PEEK$ AT ! MIRROR E
S (T54 ,X 0 PRETTY UNCOM=TA#4 ,! PACKAGE
SD 6WAIT = =TY-FIVE M9UTES1 B %DN'T !
COLOR 2 R$D] 0N[8
  8,I'VE GOT AN IDEA10 ,MELISSA SD 6ME4
8,I H A PACKAGE ( DYE = BLOND HAIR4 ,T'S
! COLOR ,I'VE BE5 ?9K+ ( US+4 ,:Y DON'T
WE PUT "S ( T /UFF ON YR HAIR8 ,X %D
LI<T5 YR COLOR A BIT40
  8,I DON'T "K10 SD ,AM&A4 8,BETT] N
TAKE A *.E40
  ,I LOOK$ 9 ! MIRROR AG4 ,MY HAIR 0 /
D>K BR[N1 N ,RON'S *E/NUT4 8,OKAY1 LET'S
TRY X10 ,I SD4
  ,S ,MELISSA OP5$ H] TUBE ( DYE & "W$
"S ( X 96MY HAIR4 8,HEY1 ,I'M 2G9N+ 6SEE
A DI6];E10 %E SD AF A FEW M9UTES4
  ,I LOOK$ 9 ! MIRROR4 ,%E 0 "R4 ,MY
HAIR 0 DEF9ITELY LI<T]4 ,!N ?+S 2GAN TO
HAPP51 & HAPP5 FA/4
  8,X'S R$ 5 N[60 YELL$ ,AM&A4 8,ISN'T
"! "S WAY 6/OP ! DYE+80
  8,WE'D BETT] R9SE60 SD ,MELISSA4   #EJ
  ,I L1N$ OV] ! WA%BAS9 :ILE ,MELISSA
RAN HOT WAT] OV] MY H1D4 8,\*6 ,T'S TOO
HOT60 ,I CRI$4
  8,! WAT] HAS 6BE HOT 5 6/OP ! DYE+10
PANT$ ,MELISSA4
  ,AF "S FURI\S R9S+ & MASSAG+1 ,MELISSA
/OPP$ ! WAT]4 8,X'S N GO+ 6*ANGE ANY-
MORE10 %E SD4 ,H] VOICE 0 %AK+ BADLY1 &
T RE,Y SC>$ ME4
  ,:AT SC>$ ME EV5 M 0 ! SI<T ( ,AM&A4
,%E 0 HUN*$ OV]1 ) H] H&S COV]+ H] FACE4
  ,I TOOK A DEEP BR1?1 & SL[LY RAIS$ MY
EYES 6LOOK 9 ! MIRROR4
  ,Y "K :5 Y SCOOP "S ORANGE ,JELL-,O
96A B[L & X'S / WO2L+8 ,T 0 H[ MY HAIR
LOOK$1 Z ,I /OOD "! TREMBL+ & />$ AT
MYF4 ,I SWE> T MY HAIR WD H GL[$ 9 ! D>K
IF WE'D TURN$ ! LI<TS (F4
  ,S M* = BL5D+ IN4
  ,AF A L;G SIL;E1 ,MELISSA CLE>$ H]
?ROAT4 8,MAYBE WE %D G BACK 6! /ORE &
GET "S D>K-BR[N DYE40
  8,I DON'T NE$ 6DYE AG1 2C ,I'M ALR GO+
6DIE :5 MY FAMILY SEES ?10 ,I SD
HO>SELY4 8,ANYWAY1 X'S LATE & ,I H   #EA
6G HOME40
  ,MY FEET 2GAN 6DRAG Z ,I APPROA*$ \R
FRONT DOOR4 ,:AT 0 ,I GO+ 6SAY 6,DAD &
,MOM8 ,6,RON8 ,6,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC-
,MURRAY8 ,IF MY HAIR _H TURN$ \ *E/NUT1
,I CD H EXPLA9$ T ,I WANT$ 6LOOK L "P (!
D.E TR\PE4 ,B H[ D Y EXPLA9 ORANGE
,JELL-,O8

  ,RON 0 ! F/ P]SON ,I MET 9 ! H\SE4 ,HE
/>$4 8,Y'VE GOT 6BE KI4+60 HE SD4 8,:AT
7 Y ?9K+80
  8,I GUESS ,I 0 ?9K+ ,I NE$$ A *ANGE40
  8,X'S A *ANGE ALL "R4 ,Y LOOK L A TREE
) L1VES T >E TURN+ B"R ORANGE & FALL+
(F4 ,IS YR HAIR GO+ 6FALL (F TOO80 ,!N
HE LAU<$ & W5T 96! KIT*5 6FIX HMF A
SNACK4 ,X WD N"E O3UR 6HM T ,I MI<T WANT
6H HAIR ! SAME COLOR Z HIS4
  ,! NEXT P]SON ,I MET 0 ,GR&MA4 ,%E 0
SITT+ 9 ! LIV+ ROOM1 & :5 %E SAW ME1 %E
PUT H] H& OV] H] M\?4 8,OH1 MY POOR ,FI-
ONA60
  ,LAU<T] ,I 0 PREP>$ 6FACE1 B SYMPA?Y 0
TOO M*4 ,MY M\? TREM#D1 & ,I CD      #EB
FEEL HOT TE>S WELL+ UP4
  8,-E "H1 D>L+10 SD ,GR&MA4 ,%E PULL$
ME OV] 6! S(A & SAT D[N NEXT 6ME1 PUTT+
H] >MS >.D MY %\LD]S4 8,I SUPPOSE X'S
TOO LATE 6*ANGE8 ,! DYE IS P]MAN5T80
  8,I'M /UCK ) X UNTIL MY HAIR GR[S \60
,I WAIL$4 8,X W TAKE YE>S60
  8,N YE>S1 ONLY MON?S10 %E SD1 GIV+ ME
H] H&K]*IEF4
  ,T WASN'T M* -=T4 ,I HONK$ 96! H&K]-
*IEF1 : 2CAME A SO7Y MESS4 8,I DY$ MY
HAIR 2C ,I WANT 62L;G 6! TR\PE10 ,I SD1
SNI6L+4 8,I WANT 6LOOK L A ,SCOTTI%
D.ER60
  ,GR&MA'S >MS TI<T5$ >.D ME4 8,LI/51
,FIONA1 N ALL ,SCOTS H R$ HAIR4 ,9 FACT
"S H D>K HAIR1 Z D>K Z YRS40
  ,I SAT UP4 8,I DIDN'T "K T60
  8,2F ! ,CELTS >RIV$ 9 ,SCOTL&1 "! 7 P
LIV+ "! CALL$ ,PICTS10 SD ,GR&MA4 8,!Y 7
A SMALL]1 D>K] P4 ,!Y _H MO/LY D>K HAIR
& SPOKE A DI6]5T LANGUAGE40
  ,I _H ?"\ T ,SCOTTI% P 7 ALL BIG &
FAIR1 & LOOK$ L ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA
,MAC,MURRAY4 ,I WIP$ MY EYES )       #EC
,GR&MA'S SO7Y H&K]*IEF4 8,>E "! _M
,PICTS LEFT80 ,I ASK$4
  8,Y / SEE P 9 ,SCOTL& :O >E SMALL &
D>K1 ESPECI,Y 9 ! ,HI<L&S10 SD ,GR&MA4
8,YR D>K HAIR WDN'T H LOOK$ TOO \ (
PLACE40
  8,!N :Y IS ,GR&PA S ANXI\S = ,RON 6BE
"O (! D.ERS80 ,I ASK$4
  8,LET ME EXPLA910 SD ,GR&MA4 8,YR GR&-
PA LOV$ 6D.E4 ,HE 0 A NOTA# D.ER 9 8
Y\?4 ,! "N ,ALEC ,MAC,MURRAY M1NT "S?+ 9
! _W ( ,SCOTTI% D.E40
  ,I TRI$ 6PICTURE ,GR&PA L1P+ >.D 9 A
KILT4
  8,OH1 Y %D H SE5 HM :5 HE 0 "Y60 SD
,GR&MA1 H] EYES SP>KL+4 ,!N %E SI<$4
8,YR GR&PA _H ALW HOP$ T "S"D HE WD H A
BOY :O WD LOVE DANC+ Z M* Z HE DID40
  8,9/1D1 Y _H ,MOM10 ,I SD S(TLY4
  8,WE'RE BO? V PR\D ( YR "M10 SD ,GR&-
MA4 8,DON'T ?9K =A M9UTE T WE'RE SORRY
WE N"E _H A SON60
  8,B ,MOM DOESN'T C>E M* AB ,HI<L&
DANC+1 DOES %E80 ,I SD4
  ,GR&MA GAVE ME ANO!R HUG4 8,& Y    #ED
D4 ,H[ Y LOOK DOESN'T MATT]1 ,FIONA4 ,!
ONLY ?+ T MATT]S IS T Y'RE A GR& D.ER4
,GR&PA W F9D T \ SOON 5\<40
  8,F9D :AT \80 SD ,GR&PA1 -+ 96! LIV+
ROOM4
  8,GUESS10 SD ,GR&MA1 & %E W9K$ AT ME4
  ,I WAIT$ = ,GR&PA 6SAY "S?+ AB MY
HAIR1 B HE J LOOK$ AT ME =A SECOND & !N
SD1 8,BETT] D YR HOME"W N[1 ,FIONA4 ,WE
H M REHE>S+ 6D ? EV5+40
  ,DID HE NOTICE MY HAIR8 ,WD HE EV5 NO-
TICE IF MY HAIR 0 ! COLOR (A R$ TRA6IC
LI<T T BL9K$ ON & (F8
  ,I W5T UP/AIRS & TRI$ 6D MY HOME"W1 B
,I SOON GAVE UP 2C ,I CDN'T 3C5TRATE4
,DAD 0 DUE HOME ANY M9UTE & ,I CDN'T /OP
?9K+ AB :AT 8 REAC;N WD BE4 ,WD HE 2
HURT & ANGRY 2C HE'D ?9K ,I 0 TRY+ 6LOOK
M ,SCOTTI% & LESS ,*9ESE8 ,( C\RSE T
WASN'T ! R1L R1SON ,I'D DY$ MY HAIR4
,I'D N"E D ANY?+ 6HURT ,DAD'S FEELS4 ,I
J WANT$ 6LOOK L "EY"O ELSE4
  ,DAD CAME HOME TW5TY M9UTES LAT]4 ,I 0
WAIT+ NE> ! FRONT HALL S HE WD SEE ME
IMMLY & GET X OV] )4                 #EE
  ,:5 HE CAME 9 ! DOOR1 HE J />$ AT ME
SIL5TLY4 ,I CDN'T R1D 8 EXPRES.N1 & MY
HE>T 0 ?UMP+ Z ,I WAIT$ = HM 6SAY "S?+4
  8,I'M GLAD Y DIDN'T *ANGE YR F1TURES1
ANYWAY10 HE SD F9,Y4
  ,I DIDN'T "U/& :AT HE M1NT 0T4 ,*ANGE
MY F1TURES8 ,I MAY H DY$ MY HAIR1 B EV5
) P]MAN5T DYE1 NO?+ 0 RE,Y P]MAN5T4 ,MY
HAIR WD GR[ BACK XS R1L COLOR4 ,I _HN'T
ACTU,Y *ANG$ ANY?+ AB MYF4 ,CDN'T ,DAD
SEE T8 ,AT L1/ HE DIDN'T LOOK ANGRY OR
UPSET4 ,T 0 A HUGE RELIEF4
  ,I SP5T ! NEXT HALF H\R TRY+ 6FIGURE \
! BE/ WAY 6WE> MY NEW HAIR4 ,F9D+ A /YLE
T SUIT$ X WASN'T EASY4 ,I'D ALR SE5 !
B[L ( ,JELL-,O LOOK4 ,NEXT ,I TRI$
BRAIDS1 B ,I 5D$ UP LOOK+ L ,PIPPI ,L;G-
/OCK+4 ,!N ,I TRI$ A PONYTAIL1 B X LOOK$
L A *E]L1D]'S POM-POM4 ,PUTT+ B>RETTES 9
X J SEEM$ 6ATTRACT M ATT5;N 6X4 ,F9,Y ,I
DECID$ 6J LET X 2 ,JELL-,O4
  ,:5 ,MOM CAME HOME & SAW ME1 %E /OPP$
D1D4 ,AF A MO;T %E SI<$4 8,ALL "R1 ALL
"R1 Y'RE J EXPRESS+ YR 9DEP5D;E OR
:AT"E4 ,I'M N 9 A POSI;N 6SAY ANY-   #EF
?+1 S9CE ,I W5T "? A /AGE ( SPORT+ L;G
GRE5 F+]NAILS40
  ,I WANT$ 6HUG H]1 ,I 0 S HAPPY AT H]
REAC;N4 ,%E KNEW ,I WASN'T TRY+ 6D5Y :O
,I 0 9SIDE4 ,I 0 J TRY+ 6FIT 9 = ONCE4
  ,T LEFT "O M P]SON 6FACE1 & X 0 ! H>D-
E/ "O3 ,NAINAI1 MY ,*9ESE GR&"M4 ,%E'S
ALW TELL+ ME H[ M* ,I LOOK L ,DAD1 H]
FAVORITE SON4 ,H[ WD %E FEEL1 N[ T ,I _H
ORANGE ,JELL-,O HAIR8
  ,I WD SOON F9D \1 2C ,DAD & ,I 7 GO+
6! AIRPORT 6PICK H] UP ? EV5+4












                  F\R                #EG

  ,Z ,DAD & ,I DROVE 6! AIRPORT1 ,I TRI$
6IMAG9E H[ ,NAINAI WD FEEL :5 %E SAW MY
HAIR4 ,WD %E ?9K ,I DY$ MY HAIR S ,I
WDN'T LOOK L ,DAD ANYMORE8 ,S ,I WDN'T
EV5 LOOK ,*9ESE ANYMORE8
  ,ANXI\SLY SCANN+ ! PASS5G]S FIL+ \ (!
AIRPLANE1 ,I F9,Y CAU<T SI<T ( H] SLI<T
FIGURE4 ,I BRAC$ MYF Z %E APPROA*$4 ,:AT
WD %E SAY8
  ,%E CAME UP 6U1 & WALK$ "R PA/ ME4 ,%E
DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME6
  8,MA60 ,DAD CALL$ \4 ,8 VOICE 0 HI<]
?AN USUAL1 B AT L1/ X DIDN'T 2COME *ILD-
I%4
  ,NAINAI TURN$ >.D & SAW HM4 ,%E B1M$ Z
HE PUT 8 >MS >.D H]4
  8,& "H IS ,FIONA10 SD ,DAD4
  ,I GULP$4 8,HELLO1 ,NAINAI10 ,I MANAG$
6SAY1 & WAIT$ = H] REAC;N4
  ,NAINAI'S EYES WID5$ Z %E LOOK$ AT MY
HAIR4 ,AF A PAUSE T SEEM$ 6LA/ ="E1 %E
TURN$ 6,DAD & SD1 8,WELL1 AT L1/ %E
DIDN'T *ANGE H] F1TURES40
  ,? 0 EXACTLY :AT ,DAD _H SD1       #EH
TOO4 ,HE & ,NAINAI EX*ANG$ A GL.E4 ,:AT
DID !Y M1N8
  ,WE W5T 6COLLECT ,NAINAI'S BA7AGE4 ,J
Z ,I EXPECT$1 %E _H TWO HUGE PIECES (
*ECK$ LU7AGE1 A BIG SUITCASE &A PAP] C>-
TON 3TA9+ ,*9ESE GROC]IES4 ,=! PA/ YE>1
WE'VE TRI$ 6TELL H] T WE C BUY P]FECTLY
GD ,*9ESE /UFF "R "H 9 ,S1TTLE1 B %E /
?9KS WE'RE F> F CIVILIZ,N & NE$ SUPPLIES
( 8R1L FOOD0 F ,SAN ,FRANCISCO'S ,*9A-
T[N4
  ,DAD GRUNT$ Z HE H1V$ ! SUITCASE ONTO
A LU7AGE C>T4 ,I GRA2$ AT ! PAP] C>TON1
& 0 NE>LY DRA7$ ABO>D ! MOV+ LU7AGE CON-
VEYOR BELT4 ,DAD & ,NAINAI HAUL$ ME BACK
J 9 "T4
  ,PANT+1 ,DAD SD "S?+ 6,NAINAI 9 ,*I-
NESE1 & ,I KNEW X M1NT1 8,"M1 Y %DN'T H
BR"\ ALL ^! ?+S40
  ,NAINAI J SMIL$ H] SWEET SMILE4 ,%E
PROBABLY ?"\ ,DAD 0 2+ POLITE1 & ,I
GUESS$ T %E WD BR+ Z M* /UFF NEXT "T1 IF
N M4
  ,Z SOON Z WE GOT HOME1 ,DAD W5T 96!
KIT*5 6PREP>E D9N]4 ,NAINAI W5T )    #EI
HM1 & ,I CD HE> !M TALK+ 9 ,*9ESE4 ,AG1
8 VOICE S.D$ A LL HI<] ?AN USUAL4 ,I
PEEK$ 96! KIT*5 & F.D HM /&+ 0! C.T]1
MEEKLY LI/5+ 6,NAINAI Z %E TOLD HM H[ TO
PREP>E "O (! DI%ES4 ,X WD 2 RE,Y EMB>-
RASS+ IF HE W5T 96HIS LL BOY ACT AT !
D9N] TA#1 :5 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY
7 "!4 ,6MY RELIEF1 ,DAD SPOKE 9 8 GR[N-
UP VOICE AT D9N]4
  ,:5 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY VISIT
U1 ,DAD USU,Y COOKS DI%ES T >E FAMILI>
6MO/ ,WE/]N]S1 ?+S L BEEF & BRO3OLI OR
SWEET-&-S\R PORK4 ,B TN ! DI%ES HE COOK$
US$ _M (! NEW 9GR$I5TS ,NAINAI _H BR"\ )
H]4
  8,:AT'S ?80 ASK$ ,GR&PA4
  ,! ?+ HE HELD UP 0 LIMP1 TRANSP>5T1 &
SLIPP]Y4 ,X DIDN'T H ANY FLAVOR ( XS [N1
& Y CD TA/E ONLY ! GRAVY4 ,I _H EAT5 X
2F1 & IF ,I _HN'T "KN :AT X WAS1 ,I WD H
5JOY$ X A LOT M4 ,I HOP$ V H>D T ,DAD
WDN'T TELL ,GR&PA ! TRU?4
  ,B ( C\RSE ,DAD DIDN'T HESITATE4 8,X'S
JELLYFI%40
  8,I BR"\ X OV] TD F ,SAN ,FRAN-    #FJ
CISCO10 ,NAINAI SD )A PL1S$ SMILE4 8,Y
SOAK X UNTIL X'S S(T1 & !N BRAISE X 9
SOY SAUCE1 W9E1 & G+]4 ,GD1 ISN'T X80
  ,GR&PA GULP$ & PUT 8 H& OV] 8 M\?4 ,B
HE 0 GAME1 & TOOK ANO!R BITE4 ,? "T HE
EV5 MANAG$ 6SWALL[4
  ,GR&MA CDN'T Q 3TROL H] %U4] :5 ,GR&PA
PASS$ ! DI% ( JELLYFI% 6H]4 8,I'LL H
TR\# PICK+ X UP ) MY =K10 %E SD1 & PASS$
X ON4 ,X 0 A W1K EXCUSE1 & WE ALL KNEW
X4
  ,NAINAI LOOK$ D[N AT H] PLATE & DIDN'T
SAY ANY?+4 ,I FELT ,I _H 6D "S?+4 ,I
HELP$ MYF 6A HUGE S]V+ (! JELLYFI%4
  8,I BET "S (! ?+S WE EAT M/ SEEM RE,Y
GROSS 6P 9 O!R C.TRIES10 ,I SD4 8,HEY1
WE %D H A 3TE/6 ,LET'S G >.D ! TA#1 &
EA* P]SON HAS 6?9K (! GROSSE/ ?+ T GETS
EAT5 0P40
  ,"! 0 A SIL;E Z WE ALL ?"\ FURI\SLY4
,RON RAIS$ 8 H& F/4 8,! ,FR5* EAT
SNAILS1 SLA!R$ ) BUTT] & G>LIC40
  8,N BAD1 ,RON10 SD ,DAD4 8,SNAILS >E
GROSS 5\<1 B SNAILS ) BUTT] & G>LIC GET
EV5 M PO9TS40                        #FA
  ,MOM 0 NEXT4 8,LET'S SEE ''' ,AU/RA-
LIAN ABORIG9ES EAT L>VAE4 ,X'S AN IMPOR-
TANT S\RCE ( PROTE9 \ 9 ! BU%40 ,%E _H
G"O 6A 3F];E 9 ,SYDNEY1 ,AU/RALIA1 LA/
YE>4
  8,:AT'S L>VAE80 ,I ASK$4
  8,!Y'RE WORMS10 SD ,RON1 GR9N+4
  ,I REMEMB]$ T :5 ,I _H BABY %RIMP 9
SALAD =! F/ "T1 !Y LOOK$ A LOT L WORMS1
& ,I REFUS$ 6EAT !M4 ,DAD DIDN'T TRY TO
=CE ME1 B ANO!R "T HE S]V$ PRAWNS1 : 7 J
BI7] %RIMP4 ,I 0 OKAY ) !M1 & AF T HE
S]V$ SMALL] & SMALL] PRAWNS UNTIL ,I GOT
US$ 6! IDEA ( EAT+ ! T9Y1 WORMLIKE BABY
%RIMP4 ,B ,I _H 6ADMIT T R1L WORMS 7 A
DI6]5T /ORY4
  ,RON SEEM$ 6BE 5JOY+ MY 4COM=T4 8,IN-
SECTS G "? A L>VA /AGE 2F !Y G 96COCOONS
& 2COME FULLY ADULT40 ,HE TURN$ 6,MOM4
8,YR L>VAE B1T MY SNAILS40
  8,WE EAT FRI$ GRASSHOPP]S 9 ,*9A10 SD
,DAD4 8,^? >E ADULT 9SECTS4 ,!Y'RE NICE
& CRUN*Y1 & !Y TA/E GD )A DA% ( SOY
SAUCE40
  ,WE CDN'T DECIDE :E!R L>VAE GOT    #FB
M PO9TS ?AN ADULT 9SECTS1 L GRASSHOPP]S4
,9 ! 5D WE VOT$ = L>VAE Z 2+ M GROSS4
  8,BACK 9 ,SCOTL&1 ,I ALW 2GAN MY "D )
BLOOD SAUSAGES10 3TRIBUT$ ,GR&PA4
  8,YE*60 ,I CRI$4 8,:AT >E BLOOD SAU-
SAGES80
  8,!Y'RE SAUSAGES MADE ) PIG'S BLOOD10
SD ,GR&MA4 8,V N\RI%+ !Y >E1 TOO1 ESPE-
CI,Y = *N :O >E SICKLY40
  8,I DON'T ?9K Y DES]VE LOTS ( PO9TS1
,"M10 ,MOM TOLD ,GR&MA4 8,BLOOD SAUSAGES
S.D BAD1 B !Y DON'T ACTU,Y LOOK BLOODY40
  ,X 0 MY TURN1 & ,I ?"\ H>D4 ,I F9,Y
CAME UP ) "S?+ MY FR ,AM&A _H TOLD ME4
8,IN ,JAPAN !Y EAT "S?+ CALL$ .NATTO4
,T'S ROTT$ SOYB1NS4 ,!Y'RE K9D ( SLIMY1
) /R+S T >E L SNOT F YR NOSE4 ,IF Y PUT
"S NATTO 9 YR M\?1 ! /ICKY /R+S FLOP ALL
OV] YR *940
  ,I LOOK$ >.D AT ! 4GU/ ON "EYBODY'S
FACE & ?"\ ,I _H WON ! 3TE/ = SURE4
  ,B ,GR&PA WASN'T GIV+ UP4 8,NO?+ C B1T
HA7IS60
  ,I KNEW AB HA7IS1 & _H 6ADMIT T ,GR&PA
_H A W9N] "!4                        #FC
  8,OH1 -E ON10 SD ,MOM4 8,:5 DID WE LA/
H HA7IS--RE,Y80
  8,I MADE X = ,ROB]T ,BURNS ,"D ONLY
LA/ YE>10 ,GR&MA SD PR\DLY4
  8,:AT IS HA7IS80 ASK$ ,NAINAI4
  8,Y TAKE A %EEP'S /OMA* & FILL X )A
MIXTURE ( %EEP 9N>DS1 OATM1L1 SUET1 &
SPICES10 SD ,GR&MA4 8,!N Y COOK X =A FEW
H\RS UNTIL "EY?+ IS S(T & MU%Y4 ,Y EAT X
)A WEE DRAM ( :ISKY1 & "!'S NO?+ L X60
  8,"!'S NO?+ L X1 EV5 )\T ! WEE DRAM (
:ISKY10 MUTT]$ ,MOM4 ,I GOT ! FEEL+ T %E
WASN'T Q Z CRAZY AB HA7IS Z ,GR&PA &
,GR&MA4
  8,LOOKS L HA7IS IS ! W9N]10 SD ,DAD4
  ,B ,RON WASN'T GIV+ UP4 8,HEY1 H[ AB
LUTEFISK80
  ,LUTEFISK IS A ,NORWEGIAN DI%1 & X'S
MADE ) SALT$ COD4 ,"! >E LOTS ( ,NORWE-
GIANS 9 ,S1TTLE1 S WE LOCALS "K ALL AB
X4 ,DAD _H 6EXPLA9 :AT X 0 6,GR&PA1
,GR&MA1 & ,NAINAI1 :O 7 F \ ( T[N4 8,Y
SOAK SALT$ COD 9 LYE =A L;G "T1 UNTIL
X'S NICE & S(T4 ,S X HAS A /R;G TA/E (
BAK+ SODA40                          #FD
  ,MOM GR9N$ & A4$1 8,IN TEXTURE1 LUTE-
FISK IS V M* L A G>D5 SLUG40
  ,WE DECID$ 6GIVE ! MO/ PO9TS 6LUTE-
FISK1 AL? HA7IS CAME CLOSE4 ,NAINAI
DIDN'T LOOK UNCOM=TA# ANYMORE1 & ,GR&MA
MADE ANO!R TRY AT EAT+ ! JELLYFI%4
  ,AF SWALL[+1 ,GR&MA TOOK A MO;T 6RE-
COV] 2F TURN+ 6,NAINAI4 8,I HOPE Y'RE
GO+ 6! ,FOLK ,FE/ ) U ? WEEK5D80
  ,NAINAI NO4$4 8,I'M GO+ 6! *N'S LIT]A-
TURE SES.N4 ,Y'VE HE>D T MY SON W 2
TALK+80
  8,9DE$1 YES60 SD ,GR&PA4
  8,FIONA'S "F & ,I >E GO+ 6GIVE H] A V
NICE SURPRISE10 SD ,NAINAI4 ,H] EYES 7
B"R Z %E LOOK$ AT ME4
  ,"K+ AB ,NAINAI'S 8NICE0 SURPRISES 9 !
PA/1 ,I WOND]$ A LL N]V\SLY :AT X WD
TURN \ 6BE ? "T4
  ,ONCE1 ,NAINAI BR"\ ME A PAIR ( ,*9ESE
CLO? %OES Z A NICE SURPRISE4 ,!Y 7 MADE
( SILK1 &! EMBROID]Y 0 S B1UTI;L T X 0 A
%AME 6WALK 9 !M4 ,X TURN$ \ T ,I CDN'T
WALK 9 !M ANYWAY1 2C ! %OES 7 AN 9*
%ORT] ?AN MY FEET4                   #FE
  ,NAINAI _H %AK5 H] H1D & SD A FEW QUI-
ET ^WS 6,DAD4 ,I LE>N$ AFW T %E ?"\ MY
FEET 7 ENORM\S4 ,HAV+ SMALL FEET 0 A
SIGN ( CLASS1 & 9 ! OLD "DS1 WOM5 9 ,*9A
_H _! FEET TI<TLY B.D ) B&AGES 6PREV5T
!M F GR[+ NORM,Y4 ,I DID 9H]IT ."S ?+S F
MY MOM1 9CLUD+ BI7] B"OS ?AN MO/ ,*9ESE4
  8,FIONA IS GO+ 6BE A BUSY GIRL AT !
FE/IVAL10 SD ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY4 8,%E'LL
2 9 \R JUNIOR TR\PE =! ,SCOTTI% D.E P]=-
M.ES1 TOO40
  ,NAINAI DIDN'T "K :AT ,SCOTTI% DANC+ 0
L4 8,DOES X 9VOLVE BAGPIPES80 %E ASK$4
8,!Y'RE V L\D1 & MY E>S HURT :5 ,I LI/5
6!M40
  ,I ADMIT T ! PIPES 7 "S?+ Y _H 6GET
US$ TO4 ,B !Y D GR[ ON Y4
  8,! MUSIC ISN'T ALW F BAGPIPES10 ,MOM
SD4 8,= ,SCOTTI% DANC+1 Y C H FLUTES1
DRUMS1 FI4LES1 & ALL SORTS ( O!R 9/RU-
;TS1 TOO4 ,\R TR\PE W J H MY "F'S FI4LE
6PROVIDE ! MUSIC40
  8,I HOPE Y DIDN'T M9D HAV+ ALL ^?
D.ERS "H =! REHE>SAL LA/ NI<T10 ,GR&MA
SD 6,DAD4 8,DID ! NOISE BO!R Y       #FF
:ILE Y 7 "W+80
  ,DAD SMIL$4 8,I />T$ WRIT+ :5 ,RON 0
TWO & ,FIONA ONLY "O4 ,!Y MADE A LOT M
NOISE ?AN ALL YR D.ERS4 ,:5 ,FIONA 0
HUNGRY = H] BOTTLE1 %E 0 A MAT* = ANY
BAGPIPE40
  8,TOO BAD ,RON ISN'T TAK+ "P 9 ! FE/I-
VAL10 MUTT]$ ,GR&PA4 ,HE 0 / 4APPO9T$ T
,RON _HN'T EV5 TRI$ ON 8 KILT YET4
  8,Y =GET1 ,GR&PA10 SD ,RON4 8,I .AM
TAK+ "P4 ,I'LL 2 9 ! KUNG FU -PETI;N40
  ,NAINAI SMIL$ W>MLY AT ,RON4 8,I'M S
GLAD Y'RE 9T]E/$ 9 KUNG FU4 ,SIZE
DOESN'T MATT] "!4 ,"S"TS A SMALL P]SON C
DEF1T "S"O M* BI7]40
  ,%E PROBABLY M1NT T Z A -PLI;T1 B X 0
EXACTLY ! WR;G ?+ 6SAY 6,RON4 ,HE TURN$
A DULL R$ & LOOK$ D[N AT 8 PLATE4
  ,GR&PA QKLY JUMP$ IN4 8,:AT D Y D AT
YR KUNG FU EXHIBI;N1 ,RON80
  ,RON LOOK$ UP4 8,WE />T ) AN EXHIBI;N
( PUN*ES1 KICKS1 FLIPS1 & C>T:EELS4 ,!N
WE PAIR (F TWO AT A "T & H B\TS40
  8,>E YR B\TS L ! FI<TS WE SAW 9 T
M>TIAL >TS FILM Y TOOK U 6LA/        #FG
YE>80 ASK$ ,GR&PA4
  8,DON'T ,I WI% !Y W]E60 SD ,RON4
  ,GR&PA FR[N$4 8,= MY "P1 ,I'M GLAD !Y
>5'T4 ,I 0 %OCK$ AT H[ VIOL5T ?+S BE-
CAME60
  8,DIDN'T Y 5JOY ! FUN1 ,GR&PA80 ,I
ASK$4 ,I _H BE5 SITT+ NEXT 6HM DUR+ !
MOVIE1 & N[ ,I REMEMB]$ T HE _HN'T LAU<$
AT ALL4
  ,GR&PA />$ AT ME4 8,D Y M1N 6SAY T !
FILM 0 SUPPOS$ 6BE FUNNY80
  ,WE _H G"O 6"O (! ,H;G ,K;G AC;N MOV-
IES1 : (T5 9CLUDE A LOT ( SLAP/ICK4 8,Y
M1N Y ?"\ ! MOVIE 0 S]I\S80 ASK$ ,RON1 &
HE 2GAN 6SPUTT]4
  ,WE ALL BROKE \ LAU<+1 & ,GR&PA LAU<$
! L\DE/ ( ALL4 ,HE _H 6MAKE UP = N HAV+
LAU<$ DUR+ ! MOVIE4 8,I DID ?9K "S (!
SC5ES 7 FUNNY10 HE ADMITT$4 8,B ,I
DIDN'T WANT Y 6?9K T ,I F.D ! ,*9ESE M5
RIDICUL\S40
  ,DAD SMIL$4 8,"S (! ,*9ESE M5 9 T MOV-
IE .7 RIDICUL\S40
  ,GR&PA'S FACE 2CAME S]I\S4 8,I HOPE Y
DON'T USE ^? T]RI# W1PONS WE SAW 9   #FH
! FILM1 ,RON1 L ! TWO /ICKS 3NECT$ )A
*A94 ,"SBODY C GET KILL$ ) "O ( ^?4 ,9
FACT "SBODY .0 KILL$ 9 ! FILM40
  8,WE DON'T USE W1PONS AT ALL 9 \R
B\TS10 ,RON SD4 8,WE G EMPTY-H&$40
  8,"! 0 PL5TY ( SWORDPLAY DUR+ ! ,HI<L&
,GAMES WE W5T TO10 ,I REM9D$ ,GR&PA4
8,^? B\TS LOOK$ LE?AL60
  8,:5 >E YR B\TS80 ,NAINAI ASK$ ,RON4
  8,\R S*OOL IS P]=M+ F T5 6TWELVE ON
,SATUR"D MORN+10 SD ,RON4 8,I -E ON >.D
ELEV540
  8,T'S GD10 SD ,NAINAI4 8,"!'S NO CON-
FLICT4 ,YR "F'S LIT]ATURE SES.N IS AT
F\R O'C ON ,SUN"D40
  ,I HE>D A GASP F ,GR&PA4 8,! ,SCOTTI%
DANC+ EXHIBI;N IS AL S*$UL$ = F\R O'C ON
,SUN"D AFN60 HE SD4
  ,"! 0 -PLETE SIL;E >.D ! D9N] TA#4
,DAD F9,Y CLE>$ 8 ?ROAT4 8,I "K H[ M*
,FIONA WANTS 6TAKE "P 9 ! DANC+4 ,%E
DOESN'T H 6G 6MY TALK4 ,%E'S HE>D ME
LOTS ( "TS40
  ,NAINAI LOOK$ HE>TBROK54 8,B YR
SURPRISE '''0                        #FI
  8,N"E M9D10 SD ,DAD4 8,"! W 2 O!R O3A-
.NS40
  8,NO60 SD ,NAINAI1 & ,I R1LIZ$ T %E
MI<T LOOK L A FRAIL OLD WOMAN1 B %E 0 A
V DET]M9$ "O4 8,? IS A V SPECIAL O3A.N40
  ,%E TURN$ 6ME4 8,FIONA1 YR "F'S NEW
BOOK F1TURES A BRAVE "Y GIRL :O HELPS !
DRAGON OV]COME 8 5EMIES4 ,YR "F _H Y 9
M9D Z A MODEL =! GIRL4 ,AT 8 TALK1 HE 0
GO+ 6H Y G UP ON ! /AGE 6TAKE A B[40
  ,I 0 OV]:ELM$4 ,UNTIL "R !N1 ,I _H N"E
RE,Y "KN H[ MY P>5TS ?"\ AB ME4 ,I KNEW
:5 !Y 7 HAPPY--:5 ,I GOT GD GRADES 9
S*OOL & ,DAD GAVE ME 8 SL[ SMILE1 OR
,MOM GAVE ME A W>M HUG4 ,I KNEW :5 !Y 7
MAD AT ME--:5 ,DAD W5T V QUIET & WDN'T
LOOK AT ME1 OR :5 ,MOM'S EYES N>R[$ & H]
LIPS TI<T5$4 ,B ,I _H N"E WOND]$ :AT K9D
( .P]SON !Y ?"\ ,I WAS4 ,DID ,DAD RE,Y
?9K ,I 0 L ! BRAVE H]O9E ( 8 BOOK8
  ,NAINAI 3T9U$1 8,Y'RE SUPPOS$ 6WE> A
CO/UME T'S ! SAME Z ! "O YR "F DREW =!
BOOK1 ,FIONA4 ,I EV5 MADE ! \TFIT & BR"\
X ) ME40
  8,Y C'T LET YR PA D[N1 ,FIONA10    #GJ
,GR&MA SD 6ME4 8,WE'LL TRY 6F9D ANO!R
D.ER "S":40
  ,I CD SEE %E 0 V 4APPO9T$1 AL? %E TRI$
6SMILE4
  ,GR&PA TURN$ 6,RON )A "Q 9 8 EYES4 ,B
,RON LOOK$ AWAY & WDN'T MEET 8 GAZE4
,GR&PA SI<$4 8,IF ,FIONA DOESN'T D.E1
WE'LL J H 6F9D ANO!R D.ER "SH[ & />T F
SCRAT*40
  ,"! DIDN'T SEEM 6BE ANY WAY \ ( ?
MESS4 ,:AT"E ,I *OSE 6D1 "S"O 0 GO+ 6BE
UNHAPPY4












                  FIVE               #GA

  ,FRI"D MORN+ ,I RU%$ (F 6S*OOL 2F
,GR&PA1 ,GR&MA1 & ,NAINAI CD GET A *.E
6TALK 6ME4 ,I / _HN'T DECID$ :AT ,I %D
D4
  ,I TOLD ,AM&A AB MY PRO#M Z WE 7 WALK+
6! S*OOL BUS4 8,GEE1 X'D 2 TOO BAD IF Y
DIDN'T JO9 ! D.ERS10 %E SD4 8,Y WD H DY$
YR HAIR = NO?+60
  ,I DIDN'T NE$ ? REM9D] T ,I / _H 6FACE
! O!R KIDS 9 S*OOL :5 ,I >RIV$ ) MY OR-
ANGE ,JELL-,O HAIR4 ,I 0 WE>+ A HAT ON !
BUS T MORN+1 B T WD H 6-E (F :5 WE 5T]$
! S*OOL4
  ,SURE 5\<1 "! 7 GI7LES :5 ,I TOOK MY
HAT (F 0MY LOCK]4 ,&A GIRL :O SITS 2H ME
9 HOMEROOM ASK$1 8,:AT HAPP5S IF Y GET
HOT8 ,IS YR HAIR GO+ 6MELT80 ,B X ACTU,Y
WASN'T Q Z BAD Z MY F/ "D 9 S*OOL1 :5 T
NA/Y ,FEE-,FI ,BOY & 8 FRS MADE FUN ( MY
"N4 ,ACTU,Y1 X TURN$ \ T ,I WASN'T ! ON-
LY "O ) DY$ HAIR4 ,AT \R LUN* TA#1 "O (!
O!R GIRLS _H BL1*$ H] CURLY BLACK HAIR
6A LI<T BR[N1 & "! 0 AL ,H>RY ,KIM ) 8
PALE BLOND HAIR4                     #GB
  ,Z ,I LOOK$ AT ,H>RY1 ,I NOTIC$ T !
D>K ROOTS 7 J 2G9N+ 6%[ NE> 8 SCALP4
,PRETTY SOON ,I'D H ! SAME TR\# ) MY [N
ROOTS4 ,9 FACT ,I 0 HAV+ TR\# ) MY ROOTS
9 M WAYS ?AN "O4
  ,/1 ,I 0 GLAD :5 WE GOT (F ! SUBJECT (
HAIR & />T$ 4CUSS+ ! ,FOLK ,FE/4 8,Y "K1
,I L ! JU7L+ &! -$Y ACTS \TSIDE ON !
LAWNS10 SD ,H>RY4 8,"S ( ^? >E M FUN ?AN
! ORGANIZ$ PROGRAMS 9DOORS40
  8,I N"E MISS ! ,CELTIC /ORYTELL]S10 SD
,AM&A4 8,"!'S "O WOMAN :O A3OMPANIES H]F
ON A H>P4 ,I HOPE %E'S -+ AG ? YE>40
  8,8,CELTIC0' M1NS ,IRI%1 DOESN'T X80
SD ANO!R KID4 8,:Y %D Y 2 9T]E/$ 9 "S?+
,IRI%80
  8,:Y C'T A ,JAPANESE ,AM]ICAN 5JOY
,CELTIC /ORYTELL+80 DEM&$ ,AM&A4
  8,SCOTS >E ,CELTS1 TOO10 ,I SD1 8&
,AM&A IS -+ 6WAT* ! ,SCOTTI% D.E PRO-
GRAM40
  8,SAY1 IS X TRUE T Y'LL 2 "O (! D.ERS1
,FIONA80 ASK$ ,H>RY4
  ,I DIDN'T WANT 6TELL MY FRS T ,I MI<T
N APPE> 9 ! PROGRAM AF ALL4 ,S ,I    #GC
J SD1 8,MY GR&"F IS DIRECT+ ! JUNIOR
GR\P ( ,SCOTTI% D.ERS40 ,I A4$ PR\DLY1
8,HE US$ 6BE A RE,Y GD D.ER :5 HE 0 "Y40
  8,YR .GR&"F 0 A D.ER80 SD "O (! O!R
BOYS4 8,I ?"\ ALL ! D.ERS 7 GIRLS4 ,I
SAW A PICTURE (! ,HI<L& ,GAMES ONCE1 &!
D.ERS ALL WORE LL SKIRTS40
  8,LOOK1 LET'S GET ? /RAI<T ONCE &=
ALL10 ,I SD4 8,! LL SKIRT IS CALL$ A
KILT1 & X'S 9T5D$ = .M54 ,9 ,SCOTL&1 ON-
LY .M5 WE> ! KILT1 N"E .WOM540 ,H"O/LY1
,I 0 2G9N+ 6S.D J L ,GR&PA4
  8,OKAY1 OKAY60 SD ! BOY4 8,Y DON'T H
6GET MAD40
  ,J !N1 ,RON WALK$ PA/ \R TA# ON 8 WAY
6! PLAYGR.D4 8,HEY1 ,RON1 S9CE Y'RE "P
,SCOT*1 ,I BET Y H YR V [N KILT60 SD
,JOEL1 "O (! O!R BOYS AT \R TA#4 ,HE 0 9
,RON'S CLASS1 & 0 NEW T YE>4
  ,JOEL _H GUESS$ "R4 ,RON .DID [N A
KILT4 ,B X 0 N "S?+ HE WANT$ P 6"K AB4
  ,! BOY NEXT 6,JOEL POK$ HM4 8,*ILL \1
,JOEL4 ,BETT] N MESS ) ,RON ,*5G40
  ,JOEL IGNOR$ ! ADVICE4 8,I BET Y'D
LOOK GRT 9 "O ( ^? CUTE LL SKIRTS1   #GD
,RON40
  ,RON /OPP$ & LOOK$ AT ,JOEL4 ,8 FACE
TURN$ V :ITE1 & !N R$4 8,I N"E KNEW Y 7
S FASC9AT$ 0SKIRTS1 ,JOEL10 HE SD4
8,"!'S A SALE ON SKIRTS AT ! MALL ?
WEEK5D40
  ,"EYBODY AT \R TA# T5S$4 ,:AT"E 0 GO+
6HAPP51 X 0 TOO LATE = U 6/OP X4 ,)A L[
GR[L1 ,JOEL LAUN*$ HMF AT ,RON4
  ,WE 7 HAV+ PIZZA = LUN*1 & ,I _H SE5
,RON M1SUR+ ! 4T.E 6\R TA#1 S ,I KNEW
:AT HE 0 GO+ 6D4
  ,I QKLY PICK$ UP MY SLICE ( PIZZA1 J Z
,RON US$ ! MO;TUM ( ,JOEL'S RU% 6FLIP HM
OV] \R TA#4 ,JOEL LAY /UNN$ =A MO;T1 &
!N /RU7L$ UP4 ,X 0 A MESS1 ) SPILL$
DR9KS1 HALF-EAT5 APPLES1 & PAP] PLATES
ALL OV] ! PLACE4 ,:5 ,JOEL CLIMB$ (F !
TA# & MADE X 6HIS FEET1 WE SAW SLICES (
PIZZA /UCK 6HIS BACK4
  8,APPLY+ =A JOB AT ,DOM9O'S ,PIZZA80
,RON ASK$ ,JOEL4
  ,! T1*] :O _H LUN*ROOM DUTY HURRI$ OV]
6F9D \ :AT ! UPRO> 0 AB4 ,0! "T HE HE>D
"EYBODY'S /ORY1 ! BELL RANG & WE     #GE
_H 6G BACK 6\R CLASSES4
  ,,TGIF1 &! 5D (! S*OOL "D CDN'T -E A
M9UTE TOO SOON = ME4 ,B MY PRO#MS 7 N
OV]4 ,I / _H 6FACE MY FAMILY & DECIDE
:AT ,I 0 GO+ 6D DUR+ ! ,FOLK ,FE/4
  ,I GOT HOME AT ALM ! SAME "T Z ,RON4
,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY 7 9 ! LIV+
ROOM4 8,HELLO1 D>L+S10 ,GR&MA SD4 8,Y M/
2 />V$4 ,YR PA LEFT "S RAIS9 SC"OS = YR
TEA40
  ,DAD MAKES GRT SC"OS1 BETT] ?AN ANY
/ORE-B"\ "OS4 ,! ONLY PRO#M IS T HE &
MO/ ,AM]ICANS PRON\NCE 8SC"O0 6RHYME )
8/"O40 ,:5 ,RON & ,I DID T1 ,GR&PA ,MAC-
,MURRAY IMMLY CORRECT$ U4 8,6A GD ,SCOT1
,8SC"O0' RHYMES ) ,8G"O10'0 HE SD4
8,DON'T LET ME HE> Y SAY X ANY O!R WAY60
  ,B :5 ,I PRON\NC$ X T WAY 6MY FRS1 !Y
LAU<$ AT ME4 ,S ,I TRY 6SAY X ! ,SCOTTI%
WAY ) ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA &! ,AM]ICAN WAY )
MY FRS4
  8,DID Y & ,GR&PA H YR SC"OS80 ,I ASK$1
DO+ MY BE/ 6MAKE 8SC"O0 RHYME ) 8G"O40
  ,GR&MA SMIL$4 ,MAYBE %E NOTIC$ ! C>E;L
WAY ,I PRON\NC$ ! ^W4 8,YES1 D>L+4   #GF
,!Y 7 V GD1 TOO40
  ,Z ,I W5T 96! KIT*51 ,I ?"\ AB ,GR&-
MA'S SMILE4 ,"! 0 "S?+ SAD AB X4 ,I AL
NOTIC$ T ,GR&PA DIDN'T GIVE U 8 HE>TY1
BOOM+ LAU< :5 ,RON & ,I CAME BACK4
  ,I F.D ,NAINAI 9 ! KIT*54 ,= ONCE %E
WASN'T COOK+4 ,%E 0 SITT+ AT ! KIT*5 TA-
#1 SEW+ A LOOP =! BUTTON ON A SILK JACK-
ET4 ,I CAU<T MY BR1?4 ,X 0 ! MO/ GORGE\S
JACKET ,I _H "E SE51 MADE ( PALE GRE5
SILK1 ) BRILLIANTLY COLOR$ EMBROID]Y4
  8,IS T '''0 ,I _H 6SWALL[ 2F ,I CD
3T9UE4 8,IS T "P (! CO/UME Y MADE = ME
6APPE> ON ,DAD'S TALK80
  8,X'S ! TOP10 ANSW]$ ,NAINAI4 8,I MADE
A PAIR ( SILK TR\S]S 6G ) X1 B !Y'RE M*
M PLA940
  ,RON SAT D[N AT ! KIT*5 TA# & TOOK A
BIG BITE ( 8 SC"O4 8,DAD TOLD ME T 9 !
OLD "DS1 ,*9ESE WOM5 WORE TR\S]S1 :ILE !
M5 WORE ^? L;G G[NS )! SLITS & BUTTONS
UP ! SIDES10 HE SD4 ,I KNEW HE 0 TRY+ TO
LI<T5 ?+S UP4
  ,NAINAI NO4$4 8,I REMEMB] MY [N "F
"S"TS WORE A .QIPAO--T M1NS          #GG
,8,MAN*U G[N10' Y "K1 2C !Y 7 F/ 9TRO-
DUC$ 0! ,MAN*US 9 ! SEV5TE5? C5TURY1 :5
!Y 3QU]$ ,*9A40
  ,I _H SE5 PICTURES (! QIPAO1 & ,I
CDN'T 2LIEVE MY E>S4 8,Y M1N ^? SL9KY
?+S WORN 0GIRLS TRY+ 6LOOK SEXY80
  8,! "OS WORN 0M5 7 LOOSE1 N SL9KY60
LAU<$ ,RON4 8,I WOND] H[ ALL ^? OLD KUNG
FU MA/]S MANAG$ N 6TRIP OV] _! G[NS :5
!Y F"\40
  8,S Y WDN'T M9D WE>+ A QIPAO80 ,I *AL-
L5G$ ,RON4
  8,X'S N :AT Y WE>1 B :AT Y D T MAT-
T]S10 DCLD ,RON4
  ,NAINAI F9I%$ SEW+ ON ! BUTTON & FOLD$
! %9Y JACKET4 ,!N %E PICK$ X UP & LEFT !
ROOM )\T A ^W4 ,RON & ,I LOOK$ AT EA*
O!R1 !N W5T BACK 6MUN*+ ON \R SC"OS4
  ,I TRI$ 6D MY HOME"W ON ! D9+ ROOM TA-
#1 B ,I CDN'T 3C5TRATE4 ,%D ,I /ICK )!
,SCOTTI% D.E TR\PE & MAKE ,NAINAI UNHAP-
PY1 OR APPE> ON ,DAD'S PROGRAM & L1VE
,GR&PA & ,GR&MA ,MAC,MURRAY 9 ! LUR*8
  ,:5 ,DAD CAME HOME1 HE W5T 96! KIT*5
6GET D9N] R1DY4 ,I SAW ,NAINAI G 9   #GH
& JO9 HM4 ,Z ,I SAT DO+ MY HOME"W1 ,I
OV]HE>D _! TWO VOICES 9 ! KIT*5 SP1K+ 9
,*9ESE4 ,AG1 ,DAD'S VOICE 0 M* HI<] ?AN
USUAL4
  ,I KNEW V LL ,*9ESE1 B ,I DID "U/&
,DAD :5 HE SD1 8.,BU .YAO .JIN10 : M1NS
8,X DOESN'T MATT]40
  ,!N ,NAINAI SD1 8.,ZHEN .KEXI10 : M1NS
8,X'S RE,Y TOO BAD60
  ,S ,NAINAI 0 OBVI\SLY V UPSET1 & ,DAD
0 DO+ 8 BE/ 63SOLE H]4 ,HE _H 6BE 4AP-
PO9T$ HMF AT ! ?"\ T ,I MI<T N 2 GO+ TO
8 TALK4 ,B 9/1D ( S.D+ BITT]1 HE 0 DO+
"EY?+ HE CD 6MAKE ,NAINAI FEEL BETT]4
  ,I "U/OOD T ? 0 :AT ,MOM _H M1NT BY
8FILIAL DUTY40 ,6,DAD1 ,NAINAI'S FEEL+S
>E M IMPORTANT ?AN 8 [N4 ,AF LI/5+ =A
:ILE1 ,I 0 NO L;G] EMB>RASS$ AT HE>+
,DAD SP1K 9 8 BOYI% VOICE4 ,MOM IS L A *
:5 %E'S PLAY+ GAMES AT 2+ ?RIFTY4 ,B :5
,DAD SP1KS 9 8 *ILDI% VOICE1 HE'S RE,Y
AN ACTOR PLAY+ A "P1 L T MAN 9 ! ,*9ESE
/ORY :O BAB#D & DROOL$ & CRAWL$ ON !
FLOOR4 ,HE 0 DO+ X 6BE A GD ,*9ESE SON4
,I 0 PR\D ( H[ MY "F TR1T$ 8 "M1 &   #GI
,I 0 GLAD T HALF ( ME 0 ,*9ESE4
  ,H[ CD ,I 2 CRUEL 5 64APPO9T ,NAINAI8
,B X 0 J Z CRUEL 64APPO9T ,GR&PA & ,GR&-
MA ,MAC,MURRAY4 ,!Y _H -E ALL ! WAY F
,VANC\V] LOOK+ =W>D 6HAV+ "O ( _! [N
GR&*N D.E 9 ! FE/IVAL4
  ,ACR ! D9+ TA#1 ,RON 0 AL DO+ 8 HOME-
"W4 ,HE F9I%$ 2F ,I DID1 & ,I WAT*$ HM
PUTT+ AWAY 8 NOTEBOOKS4 ,HE 0 N1T 9 ALL
8 MOVE;TS--MAYBE F ALL T KUNG FU TRA9+4
  ,T'S :5 ,I 0 /RUCK )A BRILLIANT IDEA3
,RON CD TAKE MY PLACE 9 ! ,SCOTTI% DANC-
+6 ,AF ALL1 ,RON 0 ! "O ,GR&PA RE,Y
WANT$ =! D.E TR\PE1 & T B1UTI;L KILT 0 8
9 ! F/ PLACE4 ,2+ QK & LI<T ON 8 FEET1
,RON WDN'T F9D ! /EPS (! D.ES TOO H>D TO
LE>N4
  8,RON10 ,I CALL$ 2F HE R1*$ ! DOOR1
8H[ WD Y L 6TAKE MY PLACE & JO9 ! ,SCOT-
TI% D.E TR\PE80
  8,:AT80 HE SQUAWK$4 ,ACTU,Y1 8SQUAWK$0
ISN'T ! "R ^W4 ,HE SQU1K$4 ,RON'S VOICE
_H *ANG$1 & MO/ (! "T X S.D$ DEEP4 ,B
ONCE 9 A :ILE1 8 VOICE / BROKE 96A HI<
SQU1K4 8,Y'RE N '''0--HE /OPP$1      #HJ
TOOK A BR1?1 & GOT 8 VOICE BACK D[N AG
--8S]I\S40
  8,X'LL 2 P]FECT60 ,I SD4 8,Y C TAKE MY
PLACE AT ! REHE>SAL TN & />T LE>N+ !
/EPS4 ,WE'LL 2 HAV+ \R F9AL REHE>SAL TM
NI<T1 S Y'LL GET 5 PRACTICE 6MA/] ! D.ES
9 PL5TY ( "T =! P]=M.E40
  8,I'VE N"E TAK5 DANC+ LESSONS 9 MY
LIFE10 ,RON SD 2T 8 TEE?1 8& ,I DON'T
9T5D 6/>T N[60
  8,LOOK1 ,RON10 ,I SD1 8Y'LL 2 A# 6WE>
YR KILT AT LA/40
  8,T KILT60 SD ,RON4 8,Y SAW :AT HAPP5$
AT S*OOL TD60
  8,:5 WE 7 TALK+ AB ! ,MAN*U QIPAO J
N[10 ,I REM9D$ HM1 8Y SD YRF T :AT Y WE>
DOESN'T MATT]4 ,X IS :AT Y D T MATT]S40
  8,I DON'T WANT 6SP5D ! RE/ (! S*OOL
YE> FLIPP+ P >.D ! LUN*ROOM10 SD ,RON4
  8,LOOK1 NOBODY'S GO+ 6BO!R Y AF :AT
HAPP5$ 6,JOEL1 & X W MAKE ,GR&PA S HAPPY
6SEE Y WE>+ ! KILT10 ,I COAX$4 8,PLUS1
,I'LL 2 A# 6WE> ,NAINAI'S CO/UME & 2 9
,DAD'S %[40
  8,DON'T Y ?9K AB ANY?+ EXCEPT      #HA
:AT 6WE>80 DEM&$ ,RON4 8,F/ X'S ! KILT1
& N[ X'S T SILK CO/UME60
  ,I R1LIZ$ TOO LATE T WE _HN'T KEPT \R
VOICES D[N4 ,I PEEP$ 96! LIV+ ROOM & SAW
,GR&PA & ,GR&MA SITT+ /I6LY UP"R ON !
S(A1 _! EYES LOOK+ /RAI<T AH1D4 ,X 0
CLE> T !Y _H OV]HE>D4
  8,LI/51 ,RON10 ,I SD M QUIETLY1 8,GR&-
PA & ,GR&MA >E 4APPO9T$ & UNHAPPY4
,NAINAI IS HE>TBROK5 2C ,I MI<T N WE> H]
CO/UME4 ,WE'VE GOT 6D "S?+60
  8,FIONA1 Y M/ 2 TOT,Y 9SANE IF Y ?9K
,I'M GO+ 6PUT ON T LL SKIRT--,I M1N T
.WEE SKIRT--& HOP >.D 9 FRONT ( P60
SN>L$ ,RON1 & HE RAN \ 2F ,I CD SAY ANY-
?+ M4
  ,REMEMB]+ ! BOYS 9 \R S*OOL LUN*ROOM1
,I CDN'T EXACTLY BLAME ,RON4 ,HOPP+ >.D
9 A LL SKIRT WD S.D RE,Y SISSY 6MO/
,AM]ICAN KIDS4
  ,SUPP] T NI<T 0 QUIET4 ,X FELT WEIRD
6H ,GR&PA "! & N HE> 8 BOOM+ LAU<4 ,)
,NAINAI'S HELP1 ,DAD _H COOK$ A M1L T
DIDN'T 9CLUDE ANY?+ TOO /RANGE4 ,MAYBE
,NAINAI ?"\ %E _H ALR MADE H] PO9T   #HB
)! JELLYFI%4
  ,WE ATE \R WAY /1DILY "? D9N]1 B WE
DIDN'T SAY M*4 ,F9,Y ,GR&PA CLE>$ 8
?ROAT4 8,! D.ERS >E -+ OV] AT SEV5-?IRTY
TN = ANO!R REHE>SAL40
  ,DAD OP5$ 8 M\? B DECID$ N 6SAY ANY?+4
,I SAW ,GR&PA GL.E AT ME1 B ,I DIDN'T
MEET 8 EYES4 ,NAINAI 0 SITT+ "R ACR F
ME4 ,IF ,I SD ,I WD 3T9UE Z "O (! D.ERS1
X WD 2 ! SAME Z TELL+ H] T ,I WDN'T 2
WE>+ H] SILK \TFIT4
  ,! M1L LA/$ ="E1 & EV5 ! DESS]T SEEM$
6TAKE A L;G "T 6EAT4 ,USU,Y X TAKES ME
"O NANOSECOND 6WOLF X D[N4 ,AT LA/ WE
F9I%$4
  ,:ILE ,RON & ,I CLE>$ ! TA# & />T$ !
DI%ES1 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA W5T \ 6! BACK
PATIO & SAT ON A WOOD5 B5*4 ,! B5* 0 "R
\TSIDE ! OP5 KIT*5 W9D[1 & ,I CD HE> _!
VOICES Q CLE>LY4
  8,:AT D Y ?9K ,FIONA W D80 ASK$ ,GR&-
MA4 8,I FEEL SORRY =! POOR LASS1 HAV+ TO
MAKE A DI6ICULT *OICE L ?40
  ,I PUT ! LA/ D9N] PLATE G5TLY 9 !
DI%WA%] & TRI$ N 6MAKE ANY NOISE Z   #HC
,I SC\R$ ! FRY+ PAN4
  8,WE'D BETT] LET H] G 6H] PA'S TALK10
,GR&PA SD GRU6LY4 8,WE'LL TRY 6F9D ANO!R
D.ER4 ,"S"O 9 ! S5IOR GR\P MI<T "K A
LIKELY "Y/] "HABS40
  8,WE C'T LET ,FIONA'S PRETTY CO/UME G
6WA/E10 SD ,GR&MA4 8,S* A LOT ( "W H]
O!R GR&MA PUT 96X40
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,GR&PA4 ,NEXT 6ME1 ,RON FROZE Z HE 0
EMPTY+ C(FEE GR.DS 96! G>BAGE C4
  8,\R LA4IE HASN'T %[N ! L1/ 9T]E/ 9
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ONLY AB KUNG FU & ALL ^? ,ASIAN M>TIAL
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CE/ORS60
  8,T'S N TRUE1 ,ALEC10 PROTE/$ ,GR&MA4
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"TS :5 Y HELD HM ON YR LAP & TOLD /ORIES
AB H]OES L ,WILLIAM ,WALLACE & ,ROB]T !
,BRUCE8 ,HE N"E CD GET 5 ( ^? TALES1 &
HE KEPT -+ BACK = M40
  8,& :5 0 ! LA/ "T ,I HELD ! BOY ON MY
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  ,I SAW ,RON SQUIRM ) EMB>RASS;T4   #HD
,HE DIDN'T WANT A REM9D] (! "DS :5 HE _H
BE5 A LL KID SITT+ ON "S"O'S LAP4 ,B ,I
SUSPECT T HE 0 UNCOM=TA# = ANO!R R1SON4
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:ILE S9CE ,RON _H %[N ANY 9T]E/ 9 ,SCOT-
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  ,MOM DOESN'T TALK M* AB CULTURE OR
HI/ORY4 ,9 FACT ,I DON'T REMEMB] HE>+ H]
%[ ANY 9T]E/ 9 HI/ORY--ANY K9D ( HI/ORY4
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;E & MA!MATICS4 ,IF ,I ASK H] :O ! ,JAC-
OBITES W]E1 %E'LL TELL ME 6G LOOK !M UP
9 ! 5CYCLOP$IA4 ,B IF ,I ASK H] AB IMAG-
9>Y NUMB]S OR BLACK HOLES1 %E'LL TELL ME
AB !M 9 DETAIL1 A LOT M DETAIL ?AN ,I
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9 AB ,*9ESE HI/ORY OR CULTURE4 ,S9CE HE
IS A GRT /ORYTELL]1 HE MAKES X S.D FAS-
C9AT+4 ,T'S :Y BO? ,RON & ,I W.D UP "K+
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  ,I'VE GOTT5 96! HABIT ( SAY+ T ,I'M
HALF & HALF1 M1N+ HALF :ITE1 HALF
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,CULTUR,Y WE >5'T HALF & HALF1 EI4 ,WE
BO? "K M* M AB \R ,*9ESE HALF ?AN \R
,SCOTTI% HALF4 ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA W]5'T
HURT J 2C ,RON REFUS$ 6TRY ON ! KILT4
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,SCOTTI% CULTURE4
  8,! D.ERS W 2 -+ ANY M9UTE N[1 ,ALEC10
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  ,! BACK DOOR OP5$ & ,GR&PA & ,GR&MA
CAME 96! KIT*54 ,!N ,RON DID "S?+ T LEFT
ME SPEE*.S4 ,HE WALK$ UP 6,GR&PA & SD1
8,D Y ?9K X'S TOO LATE = ME 6JO9 !
,SCOTTI% D.ERS80








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