,,DI>Y ,,( ,A ,,FAIRY ,,GOD"M

        ,,ESM@E ,,RAJI ,,CODELL

              ,PUBLI%$ BY
         ,HYP]ION ,BOOKS = ,*N
         ,NEW ,YORK1 ,NEW ,YORK
  ,COPY"R #BJJE 0,ESM@E ,RAJI ,CODELL
  ,FUR!R REPRODUC;N OR 4TRIBU;N 9 O!R
  ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4
  ,TRANSCRIP;N ( ,,ISBN #J-GHFH-JIFE-E

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           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON

             ,9 #B ,VOLUMES
               ,VOLUME #A
         ,PAGES ;I-;IV & #A-HB

          ,"U ! ,SPONSOR%IP (
 ,WA%+TON ,TALK+ ,BOOK @& ,BRL ,LIBR>Y
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                 #BJJI
                                     ;II
























                                    ;III







     ,6,ANIYAH1 MY FAIRY GODDAU<T]
          ,6,RUSSELL1 MY PR9CE
           ,6MY [N TRIUMPHANT
          TRIUMV]ATE ( GOD"MS
    ,BETTY ,SITBON1 ,ROB9 ,ROB9SON1
        & ,MADAME ,MAURE5 ,BRE5
           ,& 6ALL :O "W H>D
          6MAKE WI%ES -E TRUE
              --,E4,R4,C4








                                     ;IV
























     ,,DI>Y ,,( ,A ,,FAIRY ,,GOD"M    #A

        ,,H>B+]'S ,,*>M ,,S*OOL
           ,,= ,,"Y ,,WIT*ES

       ,,2 ,,! ,,"O ,,) ,,! ,,W&

,HUNKY ,DORY--,VOT$ MO/ LIKELY 6BE !
  WICK$E/ WIT*
,FRANTIC ,SE>*
,VELVET ,"UGR.D
,ACID ,REFLUX
,BELLADONNA
,S9US ,9FEC;N
,TWI/$ ,ANKLE
,MISS ,=TUNE ,H>B+]









                                      #B
























    ,E>WAX ,MOON1 WAN+                #C
  ,MISS ,=TUNE ,H>B+] FELT X WD 2 A GD
IDEA 64CUSS :AT WE _H PLANN$ AF GRADU,N1
S9CE X'S J >.D ! CORN]1 ?ANK BAD;S4 ,MA-
MA SAYS 6*]I% ^! YE>S1 T ! F/ HUNDR$ J
FLY BY1 BLAH-BLAH-BLAH6 ,I DON'T "K :AT
%E'S TALK+ AB4 ,I FEEL L ,I'VE BE5 9
S*OOL ="E & ,I DON'T RE,Y SEE ! PO9T (
X2 ,AUNTIE SAYS IF Y'RE SM>T Y C D )\T X
& IF Y'RE DUMB X DOESN'T HELP ANYWAY4 ,I
C'T WAIT 6GET \ & />T "W+4 ,"S ( MY
CLASSMATES PLAN 6PURSUE FUR!R /UDIES4
,FRANTIC ,SE>* IS S* A %[-(F & KEEPS GO+
ON AB H[ %E'S GO+ 6GET A DEGREE 9 ADV.ED
/UDIES AT ,HOGW>TS--Z ,I SD 2F1 BLAH-
BLAH-,,BLAH4 ,EXCUSE ME1 WE C'T ALL AF=D
,HOGW>TS2 "S ( U H 6"W =A LIV+4
  ,S9US ,9FEC;N SD %E WD L 6GET 96AGRI-
CULTURE1 MAYBE GR[ VEGETA#S T >E S IRRE-
SI/I#1 HUMANS W TRY 6/1L !M1 & !N %E'LL
ASK !M = _! F/BORN & /ICK !M UP 9 T[]S1
OR "S?+ L T4 ,MISS ,H>B+] SD X S.D$ L
,S9US 0 RE,Y ?9K+ AB ?+S & !N HIT H] )A
P1%OOT]4 ,MISS ,H>B+] PO9T$ \ T T[]-
BUILD+ IS A POPUL> OP;N T WE ALL MI<T
3SID]1 & J 2C WE'RE "Y WOM51 WE       #D
%DN'T ?9K = AN 9/ANT T WE C'T BUILD A
T[] & /ICK "SBODY 9 X4 ,S9US LOOK$
PL1S$4
  ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE SD %E 0 GO+ 63T9UE 6PUR-
SUE A C>E] Z AN >TI/4 ,%E IS LUCKY 5 6H
A NATURAL TAL5T4 ,9 ! BACK (! ROOM HANGS
A LIKE;S %E R5D]$ (A VAMPIRE BAT T IS S
TRUE 6LIFE T XS EYES SEEM 6FOLL[ U :]"E
WE G4 ,X BO!RS ,BELLADONNA S M* T %E
WE>S A SC>F 6S*OOL E "D1 9 CASE ! IMAGE
%D FLY (F ! CANVAS & BITE H] ON ! NECK4
,MISS ,H>B+] CLUCK$ H] T;GUE & SD T >T
IS A L[-PAY+ A6LIC;N = : "! IS NO CURE1
& T ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE 0 LIKELY DE/9$ 6/>VE
AL"O 9 A CAVE FULL ( ^? BATS %E LIKES S
WELL1 & WE %D ALL WI% H] GD LUCK4
  ,ACID ,REFLUX PLANS 6SET UP A CL9IC =
ANIMALS1 TR1T+ CATS :O H BE5 W.D$ 9
BROOM-RELAT$ A3ID5TS4 ,MISS ,H>B+] AD-
VIS$ ,ACID 6/UDY V H>D1 2C X IS EV5 M
DI6ICULT 62COME A VET]9>IAN ?AN X IS TO
2COME A REGUL> WIT* DOCTOR1 & Y H 6BE
WELL ACQUA9T$ )! ANATOMY ( ALL DI6]5T
SPECIES4 ,ACID'S FACE FELL AT ! PROSPECT
( ALL T /UDY+1 & %E :ISP]$ T MAYBE    #E
%E WD J G 96TAXID]MY IF X M1NT %E CD /
"W ) ANIMALS4 ,MISS ,H>B+] SD AN APPR5-
TICE%IP MI<T 2 A GD WAY 6DECIDE4
  ,VELVET ,"UGR.D SD %E 0 GO+ 6TAKE OV]
H] "M'S POISON TA6Y APPLE /&1 & ,MISS
,H>B+] -;T$ T ,VELVET 0 V GD AT MA? & %D
H NO PRO#M GIV+ ! WR;G *ANGE 6ALL H]
CU/OM]S4
  ,MY E>S P]K$ UP A LL1 2C ,I WDN'T M9D
RUNN+ A BUSI;S MYF4 ,MY "M IS A BREW]1 B
,I DON'T "K IF ,I W FOLL[ 9 H] FOOT/EPS4
,\R CAVE IS EN R\TE 6! BROOM FACTORY1 &
FOLKS -E 06PICK UP ! HOMEMADE BREWS %E'S
COOK$ UP ON _! WAY 6"W4 ,%E HAS TAK5 AD-
VANTAGE ( MOD]N SOCIETY2 WIT*ES ^! "DS H
S LL "T 6COOK = !MVS4 ,/1 ,I DON'T "K H[
%E C /& X1 /IRR+ = H\RS4 ,X'S A LIV+1 ,I
GUESS1 & %E SAYS X'S GD 6"W F HOME4 ,?\<
:AT %E "KS AB ! \TSIDE _W CD POSSIBLY
FIT 9 A ?IM#4
  ,I GUESS ,MISS ,H>B+] NOTIC$1 Z T1*]S
D1 T ,I DIDN'T WANT 6BE CALL$ ON1 & ASK$
ME :AT ,I ?"\ ,I MI<T ATTEMPT AF ,I
GRADUATE4 ,I SD T ,I ?"\ ,VELVET _H A GD
IDEA1 & ,I WDN'T M9D SELL+ "S?+4      #F
  8,:AT WD Y SELL1 ,HUNKY80
  ,I ADMITT$ T ,I WASN'T SURE1 & ,MISS
,H>B+] GREW V EXCIT$4 ,%E SD T "S"TS ! P
:O DON'T "K :AT 6D ) _! LIVES 5D UP HAV+
! MO/ 9T]E/+ ADV5TURES ( ALL4 ,%E TOLD
ME 69VE/ 9 A SKATEBO>D1 ! VEHICLE (
*OICE = LO/ S\LS1 & 6BE SURE 6DOCU;T MY
CURR5T 9DECI.N 9 MY DI>Y4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] 5C\RAGES U 6KEEP P]SONAL
DI>IES = ?REE R1SONS3 "O1 9 ! EV5T T WE
2COME FAM\S1 WE C SELL !M2 TWO1 9 ! EV5T
T WE 2COME 9FAM\S1 WE C SELL !M = D\#2
?REE1 IF WE >E GD & BAD1 \R DI>IES MAY
"S"D EV5 2 ADMISSI# Z EVID;E ( \R MIS-
DE$S 9 C\RT & Z 5T]TA9;T = FUTURE G5]A-
;NS4
  ,B ,MISS ,H>B+] DID N TELL U :AT WE >E
SUPPOS$ 6WRITE T WD 9T]E/ A C\RT OR FU-
TURE G5],NS OR ANY O!R AUDI;E4 ,S ,I AM
GO+ 6SUMM>IZE :AT WE R1D 9 CLASS TD4 ,WE
7 ON *APT] ?REE ( ,V5EFICA ,M&RAKE'S
GUIDE1 ..,2 ! ,"O )! .,W&4 ,! MA9 IDEA (
! *APT] 0 8,ERADIC,N10 OR ! GETT+ RID (
9DIVIDUALS :O MI<T CROSS U4 ,! APPROA*ES
RANG$ F ! SIMPLE RETORT 8,EXCUSE      #G
ME1 Y M/ H MISTAK5 ME = "S"O :O C>ES0 6!
TRANSMOGRIFIC,N ( SUBJECTS 96H\SEFLIES T
C EASILY 2 SWATT$ ) "O H&4 ,CURSES >E
A4RESS$ 9 A LAT] *APT]1 ,MISS ,H>B+]
SAYS4 ,I C'T WAIT6

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 NEW
  ,:AT A DULL "D4 ,! SUN 0 %9+1 S ,I
/AY$ 9SIDE ALL MORN+ R1D+ COOKBOOKS4 ,"!
>E "S DELICI\S BOOG] COOKIES ,I WD L TO
TRY1 B ,MAMA SD 6/ICK )! BREWS4 ,IF ,I
KEEP MAK+ DESS]TS1 WE'LL 2 TOO H1VY = \R
BROOMS 6C>RY U4 ,D Y ?9K W>LOCKS WORRY
AB S* ?+S8
  ,!N WE W5T 6! SUP]M>KET1 ": ,MAMA RAN
96"S WIT* ,I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE B :O SURE
REMEMB]$ ME4 ,%E W5T ON & ON AB 8,:Y
LOOK AT Y1 DE>IE6 ,BA4IE ME1 DON'T Y "K
,I REMEMB] :5 ! VULTURE F/ BR"\ Y1 & N[
Y'RE Z BIG Z A TUMOR60 ,Z IF X'S NEWS T
,I H GR[N 9 ! HUNDR$ YE>S S9CE ,I 0 A
BABY6
  ,MAMA TOOK ! L1D & W5T ON AB H[ ,I'M
F/ 9 *>M S*OOL & H[ 8%E'LL 2 ! WICK$E/
WIT* :]"E ! F\R W9DS BL[40 ,DOESN'T   #H
,MAMA "K X'S BAD LUCK 6BRAG8 ,WELL1 !Y J
W5T ON & ON & ON1 & "! 0 ! POISON-
MU%ROOM PIZZA J DEFRO/+ 9 ! C>T & NOBODY
SEEM$ 6C>E4
  ,!N ,MAMA DRA7$ ME >.D 7IN ! SUN1 ,I
MI<T ADD7 6ALL ! CELL> SALES 9 ! HAUNT$
H\SES S WE CD HUNT = DOLLS = ,MAMA'S
COLLEC;N4 ,MAMA DIDN'T H M* LUCK AT ALL4
,! GD NEWS IS1 ,I F.D A US$ SKATEBO>D4
,MAYBE ,TWI/$ W PA9T "O ( H] BATS ON X =
ME4 ,( C\RSE ,MAMA _H 6LIT],Y TALK ! H1D
(F ! POOR <O/ :O ASK$1 8,IS T YR DAU<-
T]80 ,%E R1D T Z A GRE5 LI<T 6G "? H]
:OLE RIGM>OLE AG AB MY 2+ ! WICK$E/ WIT*
:]"E ! F\R W9DS BL[--:1 0! WAY1 IS ,MA-
MA'S FONDE/ =ECA/4 ,%E :ISP]S X 9 MY E>
EA* NI<T Z %E TUCKS ME IN4 ,9DE$1 :Y
WDN'T %E 2LIEVE X W "S"D -E 6PASS8 ,I AM
AT ! TOP ( MY CLASS 9 *>M S*OOL4 ,I C
MAKE FL[]S DROOP L WET SPA<ETTI6 ,I C
MAKE ?"U RUM# L A :ALE'S BELLYA*E6 ,I H
CULTIVAT$ A W>T &A KNO2Y F+]1 A TA/E =
EYE ( NEWT1 &A CANTANK]OUS CACKLE T RAT-
TLES ! B"OS ( ANY V]TEBRATE = MILES >.D6
,&1 Z A TRUE TE/A;T 6MY TAL5T1 ,I C   #I
TURN ANY PR9CE 96A FROG1 YES1 A FROG--
GRE5 & BO7Y & BUMPY1 ) FLY BR1? & SLIMY
LIPS4
  ,B ,I ALW *ANGE HM BACK4
  ,MAMA SAYS X'S J NATURAL REBELLION4 ,I
DON'T "K IF X IS OR X ISN'T1 B = HI/ORI-
CAL RECORD & FUTURE G5],NS1 ,I D ?9K S*
AC;NS 4QUALIFY ME = TITLE ( WICK$E/4
  8,IF X'S S GRT 6BE WICK$E/ WIT* :]"E !
F\R W9DS BL[1 :Y DON'T Y 2 X80 ,I ASK$
H] :5 WE 7 WALK+ BACK 6! CAVE4
  8,HU% YR YAP10 %E SNAPP$4 8,I'M OLD4
,I DON'T H 6D ANY?+60
  8,WELL1 DON'T Y .WANT 6D "S?+80
  8,I .D D "S?+6 ,I RAISE A SPOIL$ BRAT
:O DOESN'T "K ! M1N+ ( ,8HU% YR YAP40'0
  ,WELL1 T'S Q ! C>E] *OICE1 ISN'T X8 ,B
,MAMA 0 ONLY KI4+2 T ISN'T H] R1L JOB4
,MAMA 0 9 ! KIT*5 MO/ (! AFN1 BREW+ "S?+
MURKY =! LATE %IFT 6GRAB ON _! WAY HOME
F "W ,%E CALL$ ME 9 6HELP1 & ,I 0 CRU%+
"S H]BS 9 ! MORT>1 :5 %E SAW ME & CAME
RUNN+ OV]1 YELL+1 8,NO1 L .?60 & %E
GRA2$ ! PE/LE 6%[ ME4 ,( C\RSE1 ,I _H NO
IDEA :AT %E 0 TALK+ AB4 ,X LOOK$     #AJ
EXACTLY ! SAME 6ME BO? WAYS1 & ,I DON'T
C>E H[ %E H[LS AB X1 ,I / DON'T 2LIEVE
"!'S ANY DI6];E4 ,I ?9K %E J GETS A KICK
\ ( TELL+ ME ,I'M DO+ X WR;G4
  ,I TRY 6BE A HELP;L & FAI?;L DAU<T]4
,B ,I HOPE 2+ ! WICK$E/ WIT* DOESN'T IN-
CLUDE /IRR+ AWAY MY AFNS4

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 WAX+ CRESC5T
  ,MISS ,H>B+] SAYS ,I M/ /OP WRIT+ 9 S*
A WAY T PLACATES ! T1*]4 ,MISS ,H>B+]
SAYS T M1NS ,I M/ /OP KISS+ UP4 ,MISS
,H>B+] SAYS X IS N NEC =A GIRL Z TAL5T$
Z ,I 63T9U,Y TRY 6IMPRESS P ) ^WS L
8TRANSMOGRIFIC,N40 ,MISS ,H>B+] SAYS A
R1L WIT* DOES N C>E S M* :AT O!R P ?9K4
,MISS ,H>B+] SAYS T DEVELOP+ A P]SONAL
VOICE 9 "O'S "W IS ALL "O RE,Y C ASPIRE
TO4 ,MISS ,H>B+] SAYS IF ,I />T "O M S5-
T;E ) 8,MISS ,H>B+] SAYS10 %E W TURN ME
96A DIRTY TOO?BRU%4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] WDN'T "K HALF ( :AT ,I D
OR SAY IF ,FRANTIC ,SE>* 7 N S* A HUGE
TATTLETALE4 ,%E WD N>C ON ME Z SOON Z
LOOK AT ME4                          #AA
  ,= EXAMPLE1 TD 0 \R SPELL+ TE/1 S
,MISS ,H>B+] S5T ^W 6A NE>BY K+DOM T WE
7 A GR\P ( PR9CESSES 2+ HELD HO/AGE 0A
F]OCI\S DRAGON4 ,X WASN'T L;G 2F WE CD
HE> ! ?"U+ ( HOOVES & SNAPP+ ( BRAN*ES Z
\R RESCU]S APPROA*$4 ,WE HOLL]$ 8HELP60
9 \R BE/ FALSETTOS1 ":^U A PR9CE1 ) S*
PRON\NC$ MUSCLES T !Y D5T$ 8 >MOR1 FLUNG
HMF AG/ ! DOOR4 ,MISS ,H>B+] OP5$ X 2F 8
%\LD] HIT1 S T HE FELL 6! FLOOR 9 S* A
CLANKTANK]OUS FA%ION T X S.D$ L X 0 RA9+
S\P CANS4 ,8 FAI?;L M5 FOLL[$ HM1 UN%1?+
_! %9+ SWORDS1 B WE WIELD$ \R W&S AT
EQUAL SPE$ & TURN$ _! W1PONS 96CATTAILS4
,!Y LOOK$ V SURPRIS$4
  8,": IS ! DRAGON80 ! PR9CE DEM&$4
  8,4APPO9T$1 >E Y80 ,MISS ,H>B+] CLUCK$
H] T;GUE4 8,N[1 PL1SE 2HAVE4 ,Y >E AB TO
2 $UC,NAL40
  8,B Y SD T "! WD 2 PR9CESSES60 "O (!
KNI<TS 2GAN 6:9E4
  8,B Y SD T "! WD 2 PR9CESSES60 WE *O-
RUS$4 7,F *APT] ?REE1 ..,2 ! ,"O )!
.,W&3 8,MIMICRY IS BASIC 6WIT*ES & ALL
O!R BR&S ( BULLIES407                #AB
  8,AWWW60 ,MISS ,H>B+] /UCK \ H] L[]
LIP4 8,!Y WANT .PR9CESSES1 GIRLS60 ,S WE
WAV$ \R W&S1 &1 9 A RA9 ( GLITT]1 ALL (!
KNI<TS 7 \TFITT$ 9 LOVELY G[NS4 ,MISS
,H>B+] TOOK \ H] GRADE BOOK4
  8,BELLADONNA8 ,A LL H1VY ON ! R\GE1
DON'T Y ?9K8 ,KEEP X NATURAL2 ,I ?9K A
P1*-TO-ORANGE WD H SUIT$ HM M1 DON'T Y
AGREE8 ,& ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE6 ,I SD PR9CESS1
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D\#-*ECK YR "W60 ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE CROSS$ H]
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/IFL$4
  ,! PR9CE 0 UNSCA!D1 B N = L;G4 8,N[1
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SPELL+ W DECIDE :AT PET WE W KEEP4 ,VEL-
VET ,"UGR.D8 ,SPELL CAT40 ,VELVET
PROMPTLY TURN$ ! PR9CE 96A V PRETTY ,SI-
AMESE1 8 CR[N SLIPP+ >.D 8 NECK L A
SP>KL+ COLL>4 8,"O BLUE EYE1 "O GRE56
,LOVELY6 ,T'S ! ,VELVET T\*60 ,MISS ,H>-
B+] 5C\RAG$ H]4
  8,PFFFT60 ,FRANTIC BLEW A SMALL RASP-
B]RY4 8,ANY"O C SPELL CAT40
  ,VELVET OV]HE>D & H] FACE FELL4    #AC
,I "K ,MISS ,H>B+] GAVE H] AN EASY "O 2C
SPELL+ IS N H] /R;G SUIT4 ,I ?9K ,FRAN-
TIC IS 2Y WIT*Y 6PO9T X \4
  8,BELLADONNA8 ,SPELL M\SE40 ,BELLA
TURN$ ! PR9CE F CAT 6RAT4 ,MISS ,H>B+]
WAIT$ PATI5TLY :ILE ,BELLA %OOK H] H1D &
GAVE X ANO!R G1 ? "T *ANG+ HM 96A SWEET
LL :ITE M\SE ) PURPLE E>S4
  8,V GD10 SD ,MISS ,H>B+]4
  8,V GD80 SNE]$ ,FRANTIC "U H] BR1?4
8,%E CDN'T EV5 TURN A MAN 96A M\SE40
  8,YES1 %E DID60 ,I P9*$ H]4
  ,%E P9*$ BACK1 H>D4 8,X TOOK H] TWO
TRIES40 ,FRANTIC TOSS$ H] BLACK HAIR OV]
"O %\LD]4 8,T'S SAD40
  8,FRANTIC80 ,MISS ,H>B+] CALL$ ON H]4
8,SPELL ''' FROG40
  ,)9 A MO;T1 "! 0 A TEXTBOOK-P]FECT
FROG1 WE>+ ! UNHAPPY GRIMACE T ONLY
FROGS--& PR9CES T H BE5 TURN$ 96FROGS--C
WE>4
  8,"! >E FIVE W>TS1 ,MISS ,H>B+]10
,FRANTIC GU%$4
  8,S ,I SEE4 ,V GD1 ,MISS ,SE>*40
  ,I FANN$ MY H& DELICATELY OV] MY   #AD
M\? 64GUISE A SMIRK4 ,MY FROGS G5],Y H
SEV5 W>TS1 B :O'S C.T+8
  8,N[1 ,HUNKY4 ,YR TURN4 ,LET'S MAKE ?
A *ALL5GE '''40
  8,I'VE GOT "O10 ,I (F]$4 ,I WAV$ MY W&
& :AMMI$ ! PR9CE 96A FABUL\S DRAGON1 )
EM]ALD SCALES &A LOVELY FI]Y BR1? ( ?REE
HUNDR$ FIFTY DEGREES 7:1 9CID5T,Y1 IS
USU,Y AN E6ECTIVE TEMP]ATURE = BAK+
COOKIES74 ,9 8 SURPRISE1 ! PR9CE-DRAGON
SWUNG 8 TAIL & BA%$ \ ! BACK WALL ( \R
S*OOL1 & ALL ! KNI<TS 9 PR9CESS G>B FELL
^U HM \ ( %E] DRAGON-FI<T+ 9/9CT & B1T
HM BRAVELY ) _! CATTAILS1 FOLL[+ 9 PUR-
SUIT Z HE FL$ 96! =E/4
  8,WELL60 ,MISS ,H>B+] SI<$4 8,I DIDN'T
"K Y CD SPELL DRAGON6 ,I GUESS \R NEW
CLASS PET W H 6BE A T1*]'S PET3 ,HUNKY
,DORY60
  8,BL1AAHHHH60 ,ALL ! GIRLS /UCK _!
T;GUES \ AT ME 9 TRIBUTE4 ,I 0 V MOV$ BY
_! J1L\SY4 ,WE 3JUR$ UP A NEW WALL4

  ,AF S*OOL ,I FOLL[$ ! TRAIL ( DE/RUC;N
LEFT 0MY DRAGON UNTIL ,I F.D HM      #AE
CURL$ UP 9 A CAVE1 LOOK+ GLUM1 ) 8 CR[N
/ HANG+ LOPSID$ F A YELL[+ HORN ON 8
H1D4 ,HE 0 PANT+ SMOKY LL PANTS1 EXHAU/-
$1 & EXPON5TI,Y M UNHAPPY ?AN ANY FROG4
,I CLIMB$ UP ONTO AN OV]HANG & BOPP$ HM
ON 8 H1D ) MY W& S HE 0 RETURN$ 6HIS
ORIG9AL PR9CELY =M4 ,AF AN AMAZ$ MO;T1
HE RAN BACK "? ! WOODS1 ?\< HE TUM#D ON
"S?+ 2F MAK+ 8 ESCAPE4 ,I ASSUM$ X 0 A
TREE ROOT1 B !N \ /EPP$ ,FRANTIC ,SE>* 9
H] DESIGN] CURLY-TO$ BLACK BOOTS1 SIZE
F\RTE54
  8,W]E Y FOLL[+ ME80 ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE X4
  8,I SAW Y60 %E A3US$ ME4 8,I SAW Y UN-
DO YR *>M60
  8,S :AT8 ,Y M/ H ME MISTAK5 = "S"O :O
C>ES40
  8,OH1 Y'LL C>E ALL "R1 :5 ,I TELL
,MISS ,H>B+] T Y 7 K9D & HELP;L40
  8,RE,Y8 ,WELL1 ,I HE>D T DUNG BEETLES
DON'T TELL TALES40 ,I RAIS$ MY W& 9 A
*ALL5GE4
  8,Y C'T D ANY?+ 6ME6 ,WE HAV5'T LE>N$
CURSES YET60 ,%E JE]$4 ,B ,I CD SEE A
N]V\S GULP+ MOVE;T 9 H] ?ROAT1 S     #AF
,I :IRL$ MY W& >.D A C\PLE ( "TS = GD
M1SURE4 ,%E B1T A HA/Y RETR1T1 B CALL$
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TRICKS1 ,HUNKY ,DORY4 ,Y WON'T 2 T1*]'S
PET ="E60
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2+ T1*]'S PET ="E4 ,="E IS S* A L;G "T
6/AY ! SAME WAY4 ,T'S :Y ,I TURN$ !
DRAGON BACK 96A PR9CE4 ,HE 0 S HAPPY1
Y'D ?9K HE EXPECT$ 6BE A PR9CE =! RE/ (
8 LIFE4 ,Y'D ?9K HE'D N"E RUN 96ANO!R
WIT* OR MAGIC SPELL4
  ,F *APT] "O1 ..,2 ! ,"O )! .,W&3 8,BE
OP5 6*ANGES40

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 F/ QU>T]
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R>ELY WI% =4 ,"S ?+S J APPE>$ A3ID5T,Y1
& SOON ,I 0 TRIPP+ OV] ALL SORTS (   #AG
CLUTT]3 CAGES & BICYCLES & CLO!S & PLAT-
T]S4
  ,X O3URR$ 6ME 6APPROA* ! TASK ) "S
SORT ( PROGRES.N4 ,9VOKE A CAT]PILL>1 !N
A BUTT]FLY4 ,A LOCK1 !N A KEY4 ,AN EGG1
!N A *ICK54 ,A SE$1 !N A FL[]4 ,& !N1 0!
LI<T (! MOON1 ,I RAIS$ A B1N/ALK T UN-
COIL$ XF H1V5W>D & 4APPE>$ 2Y MY SI<T4
,! FEEL+ 0 ELECTRIC4 ,I CLIMB$ 6! TOP1
&1 BLISS;LLY AL"O1 ,I WAT*$ ! MOON HOV]
ABV ! ROIL+ :ITE SEA ( CL\DS4 ,I US$ MY
=CE 6GRAB FALL+ />S F ! SKY & REDIRECT
_! PA?S4
  ,DID ,I ONLY DR1M X8

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 FULL
  ,AUNTIE ,MALICE CAME =A VISIT4 ,WE 7 S
EXCIT$ 6SEE EA* O!R T WE BIT & KICK$ EA*
O!R & PULL$ EA* O!R'S HAIR4 ,I TOLD H]
"R AWAY1 8,I HATE :5 Y -E OV]1 2C YR
VISITS >E ALW TOO %ORT & ,I AM ALW S SAD
:5 Y L1VE40
  8,T]RI#1 ISN'T X80 ,%E GR9N$4 8,I'LL
TRY 6L1VE EXTRA E>LY1 !N1 S ,I WON'T
PO/P"O ! AGONY40 ,AUNTIE IS S ?"\-   #AH
;L6 ,( C\RSE1 ,MAMA 0 2S H]F ) GLEE1 &
!Y SET !MVS "R D[N 6-PLA9+4 ,I PREP>$ !
RAGWE$ TEA4 ,I 0 V C>E;L 6PUT ! TOE JAM
9 A G\RD1 2C ,AUNTIE HAS TOLD ME "T & "T
AG T "O %D ALL[ "O'S GUE/S 6S1SON _!
FOOD 6_! [N TA/E1 S 3DI;TS M/ ALW G ON !
SIDE4 ,AUNTIE IS A /ICKL] = GD MANN]S4
  ,I W5T 9 & ?REW ! CUP ( TEA AT ,AUNT-
IE4 ,MAMA GAVE ME A /]N LOOK1 S ,I ASK$
,AUNTIE IF %E WD L "S?+ ) H] TEA1 & %E
SD YES1 PL1SE1 S ,I ?REW ! G\RD Z WELL &
HIT H] 9 ! H1D4 ,AUNTIE SI<$ & SD IF %E
7 "E /UPID 5 6H A DAU<T]1 %E'D WANT "O
EXACTLY L ME4 ,MAMA BRA7$ AB H[ WELL ,I
AM DO+ 9 *>M S*OOL1 & ,AUNTIE PULL$ ,MA-
MA'S EYELA%ES = BRA7+4 ,!N SD %E KNEW A
FEW K+S & QUE5S :O CD TAKE "S LESSONS4
,AUNTIE W5T ON 62MOAN H[ %E WASN'T EV5
9VIT$ 6! *RI/5+ TAK+ PLACE AT ! CA/LE
TD1 & %E'S "KN ! FAMILY = YE>S4
  8,IF ,I 7 Y1 ,I'D CRA% T "PY10 ,I SD1
J 6MAKE A JOKE1 B !Y BO? /OPP$ TALK+ &
/>$ AT ME Z IF !Y 7 GO+ 6/OMP MY TOES4
  8,IS %E 9 ! GIFT$ CLASS AT S*OOL80
ASK$ ,AUNTIE4 8,%E RE,Y %D 2 9 !     #AI
GIFT$ CLASS40
  8,%E'LL 2 ! WICK$E/ WIT* :]"E ! F\R
W9DS BL[60 ,MAMA B1M$1 & 0 PROMPTLY
PUN*$ 9 ! E> = BRA7+ AG4 8,\*6 ,LET H]
-E ) Y1 ,MALICE4 ,%E'S BE5 ALL COOP$ UP
9 ? CAVE40
  8,B "! W 2 ,F4,G4S10 SD ,AUNTIE1 "U H]
BR1?4
  8,:AT'S AN ,F4,G480 ,I ASK$4 ,!Y GL>$
AT ME & SPOKE 9 HU%$ T"OS4
  8,BO!R6 ,WELL1 %E'S GOT 6F9D \ "S"D40
,MAMA SET H] H&S ON H] HIPS4 8,HOPE;LLY
AT H] AGE %E'S 2Y _! SPH]E ( 9FLU;E40
,AUNTIE GAVE ME A L;G LOOK4
  8,:AT'S AN ,F4,G480 ,I REP1T$4 ,MAMA
P9*$ ME & TOLD ME 6GRAB MY HAT & SKATE-
BO>D1 & 6M9D MY MANN]S2 ,AUNTIE 0 TAK+
ME 6A GR[N-UP "PY4
  8,W Y JO9 U80
  8,NO1 ,I ?9K ,I W /AY BACK & SET RAT
TRAPS4 ,:Y %D ? /UPID CAT H ALL ! FUN80
,%E GAVE ,CLOT'S BLACK TAIL A YANK1 MAK+
HM >* 8 BACK & %[ 8 PO9T$ TEE?4 ,MAMA
GI7L$ GIRLI%LY4
                                     #BJ
  8,:AT'S AN ,F4,G480 ,I ASK$ ,AUNTIE =!
?IRD "T :5 WE 7 9 ! AIR4
  8,A N9COMPOOP10 SD ,AUNTIE4
  ,I H N BE5 ALIVE V L;G1 B ,I ALR H MET
A LOT ( N9COMPOOPS1 & !Y -E 9 ALL %APES
& SIZES & >E H>D 6RECOGNIZE 0J LOOK+2
USU,Y Y H 6TALK ) "O =A :ILE 2F Y F9D \
Y >E 9 ! -PANY ( "O4 ,S ,AUNTIE'S DEF9I-
;N 0 N V HELP;L1 B %E DID N SEEM 9 ANY
SORT (A MOOD 6HELP ME AL;G4 ,%E 0 GRUM-
BL+ "S?+ AB 8,,EV,']Y ,OH-!R ,,GAL 9 !
,,PLACE GETS AN 9VITE1 & ,,ME1 H[ ,,L;G
H ,I ,,"KN !M1 :Y1 ,,YE>S & ,,YE>S1 & MY
,,BAD,';S1 :AT K9D ( P ,,>E !Y1 !Y PROB-
ABLY WON'T EV5 S]VE ,,*EESE40 '''
  ,WELL1 WE SO>$ & SKAT$ OV] ! MOAT &!
GU>DS1 &! PORT] AT ! DOOR :O 0 SUPPOS$
6ANN\NCE ! GUE/S 3V5I5TLY LO/ 3SCI\S;S
:5 ,AUNTIE ,MALICE ASK$ HM 6*ECK H] BOA
& X HISS$ AT HM4 ,AUNTIE ASK$ ME IF ,I
KNEW ! WAY BACK1 9 CASE %E _H 6MAKE A QK
EXIT1 & ,I ASSUR$ H] T ,I DID4 ,Z WE EN-
T]$ ! ,GRT ,HALL1 ! JUBIL,N (! SC5E T
SPR1D WIDELY 2F ME TOOK MY BAD BR1?
AWAY4 ,EV5 ! WALLS SEEM$ 6BE DANC-   #BA
+1 B X 0 J ! FLICK]+ ( C&LELI<T4 ,AT "O
TA# A DOZ5 WOM5 F1/$ F GOLD5 PLATES2 _!
%RILL LAU<T] C>RI$ ALL >.D ! HALL L !
RATTL+ ( CICADAS4 ,"S EV5 _H W+S L BUT-
T]FLIES1 )A GLITT]+ DU/ T %OOK F !M Z !Y
APPROA*$ ! K+ & QUE5 &! BASS9ET 9 2T4 ,Z
EA* "O ( ^! B1UTI;L CR1TURES B5T OV] !
BASS9ET & SPOKE1 A GRT RO> ( APPROVAL
ROSE1 & APPLAUSE SPR9KL$ L SPR+ RA94 ,!
LA/ WOMAN WALK$ AWAY SMIL+1 BACK 6H]
GOLD5 PLATE1 ": ! O!RS GA!R$ L SI/]S TO
KISS H]4 8,%[-(FS10 ,I HE>D ,AUNTIE GR[L
DANG]\SLY4
  8,:O >E !Y80
  8,F4,G4S10 SD ,AUNTIE4 8,FAIRY ,GOD-
"MS40 ,H] VOICE SWELL$ ) S* 4GU/ T ,I
?"\ =A MO;T %E SD GAG"MS4 8,GIV+ ! 9FANT
PR9CESS "EY?+ ! P>5TS H REGI/]$ =4
,GRACE4 ,B1UTY4 ,VIRTUE40 ,AUNTIE CLUCK$
H] T;GUE & N>R[$ H] EYES1 %AK+ H] H1D
BACK & =? V1 V SL[LY4 8,VAPID LL "U-
A*IEV]S1 ^? ,F4,G4S40
  8,H[ S80 ,I CDN'T HELP ASK+4 8,DON'T
!Y H ANY P[]S80
  8,!Y GRANT WI%ES40                 #BB
  8,=A LIV+80 ,"S?+ 9SIDE ( ME PLUCK$ &
SANG L ! /R+ ON A H>P4
  8,I SUPPOSE S1 B :Y1 D>L+1 .:Y--8
,AUNTIE CLOS$ H] EYES 9 EXASP],N4 8--WD
ANY"O USE _! P[] 6D .GD8 ,! _W IS GD 9
G5]AL6 ,:5 Y WAKE UP1 :AT D Y HE>8
,BIRDS S++6 ,:AT D Y SEE8 ,FL[]S BLOOM+6
,LL ANIMALS SCURRY+ 6_! LL ANIMAL BUR-
R[S6 ,/R1MS TRIPP+ M]RILY OV] /"OS6 ,C[S
MOO+ 6BE MILK$6 ,& S ON & S =?1 ALL !
WAY 6! 5D (! "D1 :5 EV5 ! CRAT]S (! MOON
APPE> 6BE SMIL+ D[N ^U ! WOND]S (! E>?6
,DON'T Y SEE1 D>L+1 X'S S T]RIBLY
.TRITE6 ,X'S BE5 D"O6 ,X'S ALL "O BIG
.RE,'RUN6 ,"!'S NO?+ ORIG9AL AB .X60
  ,I NO4$ L ,I "U/OOD1 B ,I WASN'T SURE
,I DID4 ,AUNTIE ROLL$ H] EYES & 3T9U$4

8,N[1 LOOK1 LOOK1 LOOK AT ^? GIRLS6
,"S M1SURE ATTRAC;N BY ,8OOHS0' &
  ,8AAHS10'
,& H[ M* Y LOOK L A FL[]4
,B IF ,I MAY (F] Y "S AUNT-I-LY ADVICE3
,DON'T WA/E YR "T 2+ FL[];L2
,2+ SM>T IS M* M P[];L6              #BC
,:AT'S M APP1L+ ?AN APTITUDE8
,:AT'S M RESPL5D5T ?AN SKILL8
,:AT'S M CAPTIVAT+ ?AN -PET;E8
,D Y WANT 6CLIMB A M.TA91 W Y SETTLE =
  MOLEHILL8
,:AT IS M 9TRIGU+ ?AN 9TELLECT8
,I HOPE T Y WON'T SWALL[ O!R SWILL2
,X'S TRUE1 TROLLS WON'T MAKE PASSES
,AT WIT*ES :O WE> GLASSES1
,B PR9CES NE>LY ALM ALW W4
,NO GIRL IS M ATTRACTIVE
,?AN "O :O'S 9T]ACTIVE1
,S PLUG 9 YR ADAPT] &
,LIVE HAPPILY "E AF4
,2C B1UTY'S 9 ! =M (A GIRL )A BRA9/ORM6
,I RE,Y M1N X6
,B1UTY'S 9 ! =M ( P[]60

  ,H ,I M5;N$ T ,AUNTIE HAS A DEG5]ATE
LOVE ( MUSICALS8 ,N[ & !N %E BR1KS 96A
NUMB]4 ,I HOPE X'S N G5ETIC4
  8,N[1 MIS*IEF '''0 ,AUNTIE'S FL9TY
EYES SCANN$ ! HALL F CORN] 6CORN] ) AN
EMB] GL[4 8,MIS*IEF IS ORIG9AL4 ,MIS*IEF
IS CL"E & CR1TIVE & ALW .EN          #BD
.VOGUE4 ,P SIT UP & TAKE NOTICE :5 "!'S
A BIT ( MIS*IEF40
  8,B M/ ALL MIS*IEF 2 NAU<TY MIS*IEF80
,I ASK$4
  8,= YR 9=M,N1 ,I 2LIEVE ! ^W'S M1N+
-ES F ! ,LAT9 PREFIX .MIS1 M1N+ NAU<TY1
& .*IEF1 M1N+ MO/ IMPORTANT1 OR F/4 ,F/
-ES NAU<TI;S1 & F/ IS BE/4 ,X'S "R "! 9
! .ETYMOLOGY1 DE>4 ,SEE1 D>L+1 Y >5'T !
ONLY "O :O W5T 6S*OOL40
  ,9SIDE1 "! 7 FOOTM5 C>RY+ >.D LL TRAYS
( P9K SQU>ES1 & ^U /EPP+ 96! ,GRT ,HALL
WE 7 (F]$ "O4 ,X 0 A LOVELY LL YELL[
CAKE ) /RAWB]RY IC+1 & ,I ASK$1 8,:AT IS
X CALL$80 ,! MAN B[$ & SD :AT S.D$ L
.PETEE .FWAH1 S ,I SD1 8,EXCUSE ME80 &
,AUNTIE B>K$1 8,PETIT F\R4 ,X'S ,FR5* =
,8TOO *1P 6BUY A R1L CAKE40'0 ,! MAN
FR[N$ & B[$ AG 6L1VE1 B ,AUNTIE SWIP$
HALF ! TRAY 2F HE CD ESCAPE & %OV$ !
CAKES 96MY APRON POCKET4 8,"!1 N[ Y H
REFRE%;TS S Y C WAT* ! %[4 ,N[1 G1 G1 G1
D>L+1 ANN\NCE YR ,AUNTIE 6! ROYAL FAT-
H1DS40 ,%E DRAP$ H] BOA >.D MY NECK &
PRIMP$ X1 !N GAVE ME A PU% T[>D !    #BE
?R"OS4 ,I GOT A LOT ( SIDEWAYS GL.ES1 B
MANAG$ 6MAKE X UP ! 9CL9E 2F ,I TURN$ 6!
ASSEM#D "PY & PRON\NC$1 8,SPITE;L ,MAL-
ICE60 ,I SAW ,AUNTIE ACR ! HALL1 5]GETI-
C,Y M\?+ ! ^W 8!0 6ME Z A REM9D] 6PRES5T
H] Z WE H (T5 REHE>S$ AT HOME4 8,I M1N1
SQUIRM1 M]E MORTALS6 .,! ,SPITE;L ,MAL-
ICE1 .DOY5NE (! D>K >TS1 HAS 3DESC5D$ 6H
AN AUDI;E ) Y40
  ,AUNTIE LIFT$ H] *91 & ,I M/ SAY %E
LOOK$ Q /UNN+ 9 H] PURPLE SAT9 DRESS )!
HI< NECK & TORTOISE%ELL CAPE--TORTOISES
SEWN ON AT ! HEM1 CLAW+ HELP.SLY Z %E
DRA7$ !M AL;G4 ,H] R$ EYE %AD[ BR"\ \ !
BLACK CIRCLES "U H] EYES1 &! RAV5 F1!RS
ON H] H1D CAME 6A N1T WID['S P1K T A35-
TUAT$ H] FR[N+ BR[4 ,AUNTIE RE,Y "KS H[
6DRESS =A "PY4
  ,! CR[D1 BUOYANT ) DANC+ & LAU<T] &
BILL[+ G[NS1 AT ONCE "P$ & 2CAME SIL5T Z
%E CROSS$ ! ROOM4 ,B\QUETS ( P9K PEONIES
WILT$ AT H] PASS+ & DROPP$ BR[N PETALS )
A HU%$ & CRUMPL$ BR1?4 ,AT ! 5D (! HALL1
! K+ & QUE5 C[]$ OV] _! BUNDLE1 SEIZ$ 0A
LOOK ( T]ROR1 Z IF "O (! B1/S F !    #BF
=E/ 0 AB 6FALL ^U !M4 ,I CD SEE ! DELI<T
QUIV] 9 ! CORN] ( MY AUNTIE'S M\?4
  ,AT LA/ %E /OOD 2F !M4 ,)A PRON\NC$
PIVOT ( H] HIP1 %E JOLT$ ! BASS9ETTE \ (
! PROTECTIVE R1* (! P>5TS1 !N ?RU/ \ H]
KNOTT$ /AFF4 8,I ,,KNEW Y WDN'T S]VE
*EESE60 %E H[L$4 8,Y ,,FOOLS60 ,I WOND]$
IF ! K+ 0 3TROLL+ 8 BLA4]4 8,W]5'T EX-
PECT+ ME1 EH8 ,DID ! 9VIT,N GET LO/ 9 !
MAIL8 ,=GET 6PUT A /AMP ON8 ,DID Y S5D X
6AN OLD A4RESS8 ,L1VE A MESSAGE ON MY
MA*9E1 DID Y8 ,! DOG ATE X8 ,EH8 ,EH8
,/OP ME :5 ,I -E 6! "R "O60
  8,=GIVE U10 ! K+ BLU2]$4 8,Y SEE1 WE
_H ONLY TWELVE GOLD5 PLACE SETT+S1 & WE
DIDN'T WANT 6(F5D--0
  8,DIDN'T WANT 6(F5D6 ,DIDN'T WANT 6.(-
F5D60 ,AUNTIE S+S;G$4 8,A LL LATE = T1
WDN'T Y SAY1 CR[N-BOY80
  8,%E IS "R1 %E 0 WR;G$60 "O (! ,F4,G4S
/OOD & %\T$4
  8,WA% ALL ( \R PLATES6 ,LET ,SPITE;L
,MALICE EAT (F ! GOLD5 PLATES60 ,SOON X
E*O$ ALL >.D ! HALL4 8,SET A PLACE =
,SPITE;L ,MALICE6 ,LET ,SPITE;L      #BG
,MALICE EAT60 ,I HELD MY BR1?1 WOND]+ IF
,AUNTIE WD 3SID] ? R1SONA#4
  ,%E DID N4 ,BLACK SMOKE 2GAN 6BILL[
>.D H] ANKLES1 : IS N"E A GD SIGN4 8,SIT
D[N1 Y OV]GR[N MO?60 %E BELL[$ AT !
FAIRY4 8,D Y IMAG9E T ,I AM S EASILY
PLACAT$8 ,& ANYWAY1 :Y DOES "EY?+ ALW H
6BE AB ME8 ,I AM W.D$ YET AG60 ,%E LAY !
BACK SIDE ( H] H& AG/ H] =EH1D4 8,TD IS
A HAPPY O3A.N1 ! *RI/5+ ( YR F/BORN *4
,-E1 LET AN OLD AUNTIE SEE40 ,H] GLOV$
F+]S MOV$ DELICATELY ACR ! BUNT+ L A
BLACK SPID] & PEEL$ BACK ! BLANKETS4
8,OH6 ,%E IS A .DE>6 ,N[1 Y ALL[$ ALL (
YR .9VIT$ GUE/S 62/[ A GIFT ^U ! NEWBORN
*1 DID Y N8 ,C]TA9LY1 Y WDN'T 2GRUDGE
.MY GIV+ H] A LL GIFT1 WD Y80 ,! P>5TS
LOOK$ UNEASILY AT EA* O!R1 &! ,F4,G4S
TITT]$ AM;G !MVS1 LOOK+ DECID$LY WORRI$4
8,:AT IS H] "N80
  8,AURORA10 ! QUE5 SQU1K$4
  8.,AURORA10 ,AUNTIE REP1T$ )A S\R
SMILE4 8,L ! DAWN4 ,H[ ORIG9AL4 ,I GUESS
,TI6ANY & ,BRITNEY 7 ALR TAK51 !N80 ,%E
YAWN$ & /RET*$ EXTRAVAGANTLY4        #BH
8,N[1 LET'S SEE1 .,AURORA4 ,:AT GIFT %
,I GIVE Y1 DE>4 ,HMMMM8 ,H[ WD Y L 6BE
GD AT PLAY+ PIANO )\T "E HAV+ A LESSON 9
YR LIFE80
  8,I-,I'M AFRAID T GIFT HAS ALR BE5
GIV510 /AMM]$ ! K+4 ,A SMALL ,F4,G4 ) AN
ACORN 2RET WAV$ T5TATIVELY4
  8,OH8 ,:AT A %AME4 ,WELL1 H[ AB LU/R\S
CURLY LOCKS ! COLOR ( SOLID GOLD1 S B"R
T !Y \T%9E ! SUN80
  8,?-?ANK Y10 ! QUE5 QUAK$1 8B ONCE AG1
YR ?"\;L GIFT HAS ALR BE5 GIV540 ,A TALL
FAIRY ) LU/R\S CURLY LOCKS ! COLOR (
SOLID GOLD SWAY$ H] MANE (F H] %\LD]S &
WAV$4 ,AUNTIE NO4$ 9 RETURN4
  8,S ,BLONDIE B1T ME 6! PUN*1 DID %E8
,MY1 MY1 .MY40 ,AUNTIE CAU<T MY EYE &
SUPPRESS$ A SMILE4 8,LET'S SEE4 ,:AT 6D1
:AT 6D6 ,Y ALR H S _M GIFTS "R N[1 SWEET
,AURORA ''' OH1 ,I "K6 ,LET ME GIVE Y
"S?+ Y C OP5 A LL LAT]60 ,%E WAV$ H] H&S
>.D ! BABY1 &A CL\D >OSE T CIRCL$ 9 A
GRE5 VORTEX F/ SL[LY1 & !N FA/]4 8,:5 %E
IS FIFTE5 YE>S OLD1 %E W PRICK H]F )!
NE$LE F A SP9N+ :EEL1 & .KAP[6 ,%E   #BI
W FALL6 ,D[N6 ,D1D60 ,! CL\D 5VELOP$ !
BABY & !N SEEM$ 6DRA9 96! BLANKETS )A
NOISY .:OO%4
  ,! CR[D 0 A<A/4 ,X 0 Z IF ! 5TIRE ROOM
_H BE5 5GULF$ 9 "S T]RI#1 /ICKY A% T
SU6OCAT$ ALL AIR & LI<T4 ,B NO1 ! C&LE-
LI<T / FLICK]$1 ! CRY/AL / SP>KL$1 &!
BLACK %AD[S D.ED & D.ED ^U ! WALLS4
  8,:AT'S T8 ,NO ,8?ANK Y0'8 ,DID "SBODY
ALR GIVE T GIFT1 TOO8 ,WELL1 ,I'M AFRAID
X'S NO TRADE-BACKS1 NO NO?+-BACKS ON T
"O4 ,I SEEM 6H LO/ ! RECEIPT1 S Y'LL J H
6LIVE ) X4 ,OR1 Y C PASS X ON 6"S"O
ELSE2 ,I HE> "S ILL-MANN]$ P D T ) GIFTS
!Y DON'T WANT4 ,: REM9DS ME3 "H IS A
GIFT = Y1 ,MOM & ,DAD60 ,AUNTIE R1*$ 9TO
H] CAPE & PULL$ \ A H1VY BOOK ) GILD$
$GES &A TITLE T R1D 9 ELEGANT SCROLL3
.,BOOK .( .,ETIQUETTE4
  8,I TRU/ Y DON'T H T ALR1 D Y80 ,AUNT-
IE B5T OV] & KISS$ ! BABY1 :O PROMPTLY
2GAN 6WAIL2 X WASN'T L;G 2F ! :OLE C\RT
JO9$ IN4
  8,OKAY1 MIS.N A3OMPLI%$10 SD ,AUNTIE4
8,LET'S G40                          #CJ
  8,B ,I HAV5'T SE5 ! BABY10 ,I -PLA9$4
  ,AUNTIE ROLL$ H] EYES4 8,I'LL WAIT 0!
DOOR10 %E SD4 8,MY HANG+ >.D "H SPOILS !
.D@EN\E;T0
  ,P MADE WAY Z ,I APPROA*$ ! BABY 9 !
BASS9ET4 ,A SMALL FAIRY1 AB MY SIZE1
SEEM$ 6BE GU>D+ X :ILE ! P>5TS WEPT1 B
%E SEEM$ LESS LOVELY ?AN ! O!R ,F4,G4S
DUE 6H] UNUSU,Y L>GE BUCK TEE?4 ,!Y MADE
H] LOOK FRLY DESPITE H] ?9 & PO9T$ EYE-
BR[S4 ,X O3URR$ 6ME T MAYBE %E DIDN'T
ESPECI,Y L HAV+ /ICKY-\ TEE?1 B T !Y
W]E1 9 FACT1 ! ?+ T MADE H] SEEM MO/ AP-
PROA*A#4 ,I M/ H BE5 />+1 2C %E ASK$ ME1
8,D Y WANT 6SEE ME1 OR ! BABY80
  8,BABY1 PL1SE40
  ,%E LIFT$ ! COV]LET & REV1L$ A CR1TURE
T LOOK$ V M* L ! P9K PETIT F\R 9 MY
POCKET4 ,I _H N"E SE5 ANY?+ S SWEET &
DELICI\S & DIV9E 9 ALL MY LIFE4 ,H] T9Y
PE>LY F+]S WI7L$ AT ME1 H] EYES MOV$ ALL
>.D1 & H] M\? 0 R.D$ 9 :AT SEEM$ 6BE P]-
PETUAL SURPRISE4 ,I CDN'T HELP GASP+4
  8,DOESN'T H] FACE LOOK$ L MA%$
POTATOES80 ASK$ ! ,F4,G4 ,I IGNOR$   #CA
H]1 S %E KEPT TALK+4 8,NO1 RE,Y4 ,LOOK6
,MA%$ POTATOES6 ,IF %E SPITS UP1 X'S L
MA%$ POTATOES ) BUTT] RUNN+ D[N !
SIDES40
  8,%E DOES .N LOOK L MA%$ POTATOES10 ,I
SN>L$ 9 M1SUR$ SPEE*4 8,%E IS B1UTI;L &
P]FECT40
  8,MMMMM10 SD ! FAIRY4 8,Y'RE N ! "O :O
HAS 6BE UP ALL H\RS ) H]4 ,TRU/ ME1 ?
KID'S .DEF,'9ITELY N P]FECT40
  8,:AT 0 YR GIFT80 ,I ASK$4
  8,*-C>E S]VICES40 ,H] NO/RILS FLUTT]$
Z %E SUPPRESS$ A YAWN4 8,"U MY WAT*;L
EYE UNTIL %E'S SIXTE54 ,LUCKILY1 YR FR
GAVE ME A BR1K40
  ,I DIDN'T ?9K T 0 V ,F4,G4 ( H] 6SAY1
B %E SMIL$ 9 S* A GD-HUMOR$ WAY T ,I _H
6=GIVE H]4 8,HUNKY ,DORY10 ,I 9TRODUC$
MYF4
  8,LEMON ,DROPP+S40 ,%E HELD \ H] H&1 &
WE %OOK4 ,! BABY />T$ 6CRY AG4 8,WAH-
WAH-WAH YRF40 ,%E PICK$ H] UP & RU2$ H]
BACK UNTIL ! BABY LET \ A DELICATE BURP
& SPILL$ "S?+ WIT*Y \ ( H] M\? ALL OV] !
FAIRY'S "R %\LD]4 ,MY HE>T DID A     #CB
FLIP4 ,SURELY MY AUNT DID N RE,Y 9T5D T
! PUKEY LL PR9CESS %D PRICK H] F+] &
.DIE4 ,DID %E8 ,!N AG1 ! FRUIT DOESN'T
FALL F> F ! TREE4 ,SURELY ? * WD EV5TU,Y
LE>N 6TAKE ON ! T]RI# HABITS ( H] P>5TS4
,%E WD N S5D ?ANK-Y NOTES OR HOLD DOORS
OP5 = P 2H H] & WD />T S5T;ES ) 8GET ME
A0 9/1D ( 8MAY ,I PL1SE H40 ,9 FIFTE5
YE>S1 %E MI<T 2COME ! SORT ( P]SON :O
WDN'T 9VITE .ME 6A "PY4 ,AUNTIE 0 "R4
,%E NE$$ 6SU6]1 IF ONLY 6MAKE H] DI6]5T
F H] T]RI# P>5TS4 ,B D1?8
  ,A SU45 9SPIR,N HIT ME4 8,C ANY"O GIVE
A GIFT 6! NEW BABY80
  8,I GUESS S40
  8,I WD L 6GIVE A GIFT60 ,I ANN\NC$1 &
0 SURPRIS$ AT ! HU% T FELL OV] ! CR[D4
8,Y 7 V RUDE 6MY AUNTIE10 ,I PO9T$ \ 6!
ROYALTY ASSEM#D1 8& Y DES]VE 6BE PUNI%$4
,B "!'S RE,Y NO NE$ =! * 6DIE4 ,I'M SURE
MY AUNT 0 9 A HURRY & SIMPLY ACT$ RA%LY4
,S1 ON ! 3DI;N T Y LE>N "EY?+ 9 ! BOOK
,AUNTIE GAVE Y1 =W>D & BACKW>D & UPSIDE
D[N1 & PASS ALL Y LE>N 6YR (FSPR+1 ,I W
ADJU/ ! SPELL4 ,:5 ! PR9CESS TURNS   #CC
FIFTE50--MY EYES SLID T[>D ,LEMON ,DROP-
P+S--8%E W FALL 96A HUNDR$ YE>S' SLEEP1
& S W Y ALL1 UNTIL ! PR9CESS IS AWAK5$
0LOVE'S F/ KISS OR "S R1SONA# FACSIMI-
LE40
  ,LEMON ,DROPP+S SMIL$ GRATE;LLY4 8,I
CD USE ! RE/10 %E SD4 8,?ANKS = "S?+ TO
LOOK =W>D TO40
  8,Y'RE WELCOME40 ,! /RANGE/ FEEL+ 0 -+
OV] ME1 ALM L A FEV]4 ,I WOND]$ IF MAYBE
! PETIT F\RS 7 GO+ 6-E UP ! SAME WAY !Y
W5T D[N1 B NO1 X WASN'T L T4 ,X 0 A W>M
FEEL+1 B X WASN'T A SICK FEEL+4 ,X 0
SPR1D+1 ?\<1 F MY FEET & LEGS & 96MY H&S
& UP MY NECK4
  8,Y'LL EXCUSE ME = SAY+ S1 B ,I N"E WD
H GUESS$ Y 7 A FAIRY GOD"M F YR UNI=M40
  8,I AM N A FAIRY GOD"M40 ,I GL[]$1
%AK+ MY H&S 6GET RID (! NE$LES T SEEM$
6BE PRICKL+ F ! 9SIDE4 8,I AM A WIT*40
  ,%E %RU7$4 8,SORRY40 ,& W5T BACK 6JOS-
TL+ ! BABY 9 H] >MS4
  ,I ALM ASK$ IF ,I CD HOLD ! BABY1 B ,I
CAU<T MYF4 8,I AM A WIT*10 ,I SD AG1 &
,LEMON ,DROPP+S GAVE ME A LOOK L     #CD
..Y1H1 ,I HE>D .Y1 & TURN$ AWAY4
  ..,I AM A .WIT*1 ,I SD 6MYF Z ,I FL$ !
HALL4 ..,I AM A WIT*4 ,I AM A .WIT*4

  ,AUNTIE HIT ME OV] ! H1D ) H] /AFF4
8,:AT 0 .T AB8 ,I KNEW EXACTLY :AT ,I 0
DO+6 ,Y -PLETELY "UM9$ MY P[] & %[$
ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT = AU?OR;Y6
.,D>,'L+60 ,%E KISS$ ME ON ! TOP ( MY
H1D4 8,Y >E A WIT*1 "? & "?40
  ..,I AM A .WIT*1 ,I TOLD MYF4 ..,I AM
A .WIT*4 ,WE />T$ \R VEHICLES4
  8,DID Y SEE T "O ,F4,G480 ,I ASK$4
8,0! BABY8 ,%E SD T ,AURORA LOOK$ L MA%$
POTATOES40
  8,MMM4 ,MAYBE T FAIRY GOD"M HAS A LL
WIT* 9 H]10 ,AUNTIE SD ABS5TLY4 8,Y "K1
MA%$ POTATOES >E A V F9E SUB/ITUTE = BA-
BY4 ,MA%$ POTATOES ) LOTS ( BUTT] &
SALT40
  ,I 0 B>ELY LI/5+4 ,I 0 TRY+ 6%AKE !
FIZZY FEEL+ F MY H&S1 & TRY+ 6DR[N \ !
"Q D>T+ L A WASP 9 ALL ! CORN]S ( MY
M9D4
  ..,C A WIT* H A LL FAIRY GOD"M 9   #CE
.H]8
  ,NO4 ,%E C'T4 ,I AM A WIT*4 ,I AM
,HUNKY ,DORY4 ,I W 2 ! WICK$E/ WIT* :]"E
! F\R W9DS BL[4
  8,DID Y NOTICE H[ ! SMOKE MAT*$ MY
DRESS8 ,9SPIR$1 WASN'T X8 ,W]5'T !Y W[$8
,DID Y HE> :AT !Y 7 SAY+8 ,!Y SD ,I 0
T]RI# & CRUEL6 ,!Y SD !Y _H N"E SE5 ANY-
?+ S DA/>DLY 9 ALL _! BORN "DS6 ,!Y SD
,I 0 A SC\RGE &A CURSE ^U ! E>?60
  8,I'M GLAD Y _H S* A GD "T1 ,AUNTIE40
  8,D Y "K :AT ! FUNNY "P IS8 ,I WDN'T H
EV5 G"O IF !Y _H 9VIT$ ME4 ,?R[+ A "PY
2C A BABY IS BORN1 WELL1 T IS J .EXCES-
SIVE40
  8,!N :Y DID Y C>E AT ALL80 ,I ASK$4
  ,MY AUNT SEEM$ Q TAK5 ABACK4 8,WELL1
X'S / NICE 6BE 9VIT$10 %E SD4

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 WAN+ GI2\S
  ,I ANN\NC$ 6,MISS ,H>B+] T ,I'D ?"\ ,I
FIGUR$ \ :AT BUSI;S ,I MI<T G 9TO4 ,B :5
%E TURN$ & LOOK$ AT ME ) H] PI]C+ EM]ALD
EYES & H] /RAI<T BLACK HAIR PULL$ BACK
TI<T1 ,I *ICK5$ \4 8,I ?9K ,I WD L   #CF
6SELL PETIT F\RS10 ,I /AMM]$4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] TURN$ PALE4 8,": 9 ,HADES
WD Y H TA/$ A PETIT F\R80
  8,AUNTIE TOOK ME 6! CA/LE 6PUT A CURSE
ON A BABY10 ,I SD4
  ,%E TOOK A DEEP BR1? &! *>TREUSE COLOR
RETURN$ 6H] *EEKS4 ,%E LAU<$4 8,( C\RSE4
,=A M9UTE "!1 Y S.D$ L AN ,F4,G40
  ,! CLASS LAU<$4 8,:AT'S AN ,F4,G480
ASK$ ,VELVET4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] IGNOR$ H]4 8,B1 ,HUNKY1
BAK+ IS M (A HOMEMAK+ SKILL ?AN A C>E]4
,I M1N T Q LIT],Y4 ,A FR ( M9E BUILT H]
:OLE H\SE \ ( G+]BR1D1 & LURES LL *N IN-
SIDE & EATS !M UP40 ,! CLASS MURMUR$ 9
ADMIR,N4 ,X DID S.D L A V GD PLAN4
  8,DOES %E LURE BABIES80 ,I ASK$ HOPE-
;LLY4
  8,BABIES >E V H>D 6LURE10 EXPLA9$
,MISS ,H>B+]4 8,!Y USU,Y C'T CRAWL V F>
2F _! MOMMY OR DA4Y SCOOPS !M UP & WRAPS
!M TI<TLY 9 _! >MS = SAFEKEEP+4 ,BABIES
>E 3SID]$ V PRECI\S1 & !Y C'T 2 3JUR$ UP
SIMPLY = SNACK+4 ,IF Y NE$ A BABY 9 A
RECIPE1 SUB/ITUTE MA%$ POTATOES4     #CG
,IF = "S R1SON Y C'T SUB/ITUTE1 ! BE/
WAY 6GET A BABY IS 6"W \ "S SORT (A D1L
2F ! BABY IS BORN4 ,B 2 C>E;L4 ,P>5TS
TAKE BABIES T]RIBLY S]I\SLY4 ,!Y >E WI%-
ES T H BE5 GRANT$4 ,( C\RSE10 LAU<$
,MISS ,H>B+]1 8T'S N \R DE"P;T40
  ,! LAU<T] ( MY CLASSMATES FAD$4 ,ALL
,I CD HE> 0 MY [N VOICE 9SIDE MY H1D4
  ..,I AM A .WIT*4
  ..,I AM A .WIT*4
  ..,& WI%ES >E N MY .DE"P;T4

    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 / WAN+ GI2\S
  ,I ASK$ ,VELVET :Y WI%ES >5'T \R DE"P-
;T TD :ILE WE 7 \ GA!R+ NI<T%ADE DUR+
RECESS4 ,%E SD1 WE .C GRANT WI%ES1 WE J
DON'T4
  ,& ,I SD1 8,:Y DON'T WE80
  ,& %E SD1 8,:Y WD WE80
  8,I DON'T "K10 ,I SD4 ,!N ,I TOLD H]
,I KNEW :AT AN ,F4,G4 WAS1 & %E L1N$ 9
CLOSE & ,I TOLD H]1 .FAIRY .GOD"M1 & %E
PULL$ MY HAIR & SD1 8,:O C>ES60
  ,I SD1 8,ASK ,MISS ,H>B+] H[ 62COME
"O40                                 #CH
  ,%E SD1 8,Y'RE J TRY+ 6GET ME 96TR\#40
  ,I SD1 8,IF Y D1 ,I'LL PICK ALL !
NI<T%ADE & GIVE Y YR %>E 6TURN IN4 ,Y C
H ! :OLE AFN 6YRF40 ,VELVET HAS 6"W ALL
! "T AT ! POISON APPLE /&1 S ? GOT H]4
,%E RAN (F 6GA!R NEWTS4 ,%E HAS A ?+ =
NEWTS4
  ,S 9 ! AFN1 ,VELVET ASK$ ,MISS ,H>B+]1
8,:AT IS A FAIRY GOD"M & H[ D Y 2COME
"O80 ,MISS ,H>B+] ?REW A H&Y J> ( OLD
PICKLES AT ,VELVET1 :O DUCK$ & !Y SMA%$
AG/ ! BACK WALL4 ,!N %E SD1 8,GD "Q1
,VELVET4 ,S9CE Y >E NE>+ GRADU,N1 Y MI<T
Z WELL "K1 FAIRY GOD"MS >E \R UNRAVEL+4
,!Y USE _! MAGIC 6D ?+S = O!RS & !Y GET
SATISFAC;N F DO+ X40
  8,:AT'S ,8SATISFAC;N0'80
  8,D Y "K ! FEEL+ Y GET4 T />TS F YR
FEET & GOES UP YR LEGS & 96YR >MS1 & YR
F+]S FEEL PRICKLY &! HAIR />TS 6/& UP ON
! BACK ( YR NECK & X'S ALM L A FEV] & Y
FEEL L Y'RE GO+ 6BE SICK B Y N"E WANT X
65D8 ,T'S SATISFAC;N40
  8,L1 :5 X'S "SBODY'S BIR?"D & !Y H A
LOVELY \TDOOR "PY PLANN$ & Y RE-     #CI
L1SE AN ANGRY BO> T *ASES ! *N & EATS
ALL ! CAKE80 ASK$ %[(F ,FRANTIC ,SE>*4
  8,YES6 ,T WD 2 V SATISFY+40
  ..,OR :5 Y GRANT A .WI%8 ,I GULP$4 ,&
,I GULP$ AG4 ,I ALW GULP :5 ,I'M N]V\S4
  8,2SS10 ,I SD AL\D1 6/OP MY GULP+4
8,"! IS NO?+ ORIG9AL AB DO+ GD4 ,! _W
DOESN'T NE$ U 6D GD4 ,! V FACT T "! CD
POSSIBLY 2 A WI% 9 ! MID/ ( S* P]FEC;N
IS ! TRUE EVIL40
  8,ANSW]S L T >E :Y Y'RE AT ! H1D (!
CLASS10 SD ,MISS ,H>B+]1 6MAKE ALL ! O!R
GIRLS ANGRY & J1L\S ( ME & S5D ME NOTES
T SAY 8T1*]'S PET40 ,MISS ,H>B+] IS A GD
T1*]4
  ,ON MY WALK HOME1 ?\<1 ,I WOND]$ S H>D
T ,I TRIPP$ OV] TREE ROOTS ?REE "TS4 ,IS
X RE,Y WR;G 6MAKE WI%ES 9 ! MID/ ( S*
P]FEC;N8 ,X IS SPOIL$ & OBNOXI\S 6WANT M
= YRF4 ,B :AT IF Y C DESIGN IMPROVE;TS =
"SBODY ELSE8 ,:AT IF Y C REWRITE "SBODY
ELSE'S /ORY8 ,ISN'T T CR1TIVE8 ,ISN'T T
.P[]8
  ..,I AM A .WIT*1 ,I SD 6MYF4 ..,I AM A
.WIT*4                               #DJ
  ,:5 ,I GOT HOME ,I ASK$ ,MAMA IF
,AUNTIE GAVE .ME A GIFT :5 ,I 0 BORN4
,%E SD %E DID4 ,I ASK$1 :AT 0 X8
  8,CURIOS;Y KILL$ ! CAT40 ,MAMA GAVE
,CLOT A LOOK T S5T 8 BACK 96A ,HALL[E5
>*4 8,>E Y SURE Y WANT 6"K80
  ,I DECID$ 6KEEP ! CAT 9/1D4

















    ,:ITE ,*OCOLATE ,MOON1 LA/       #DA
    QU>T]
  ,WIT*ES & W>LOCKS C G 6S*OOL TGR1 B
,MAMA DECID$ 6S5D ME 6AN ALL-WIT* S*OOL
2C %E FELT X WD 2 EASI] = ME 63C5TRATE
IF "! 7 "! 7 FEW] 4TRAC;NS4 ,MAMA CLE>LY
DIDN'T R1LIZE T X'S J Z 4TRACT+ 6SIT >.D
WOND]+ :AT X WD 2 L 6H "S W>LOCKS >.D4
,VELVET C H>DLY 3C5TRATE1 ?9K+ AB ! ,OP-
POSITE ,HEX4 ,I "K PRECI\S LL AB !M2 F
:AT ,I GA!R1 W>LOCKS >E A LOT L U B FEW
& F> 2T1 2+ S SUSCEPTI# 6BLACK WID[
BITES & (T5 ! TE/ SUBJECTS ( _! WIVES'
BREWS4 ,%D A WIT* WIFE GET CRANKY 7: IS
6BE EXPECT$71 ! POOR S\L IS LIKELY Z N
6BE TURN$ 96A TOAD OR A T1POT1 :I*"E
PROVES M USE;L AT ! MO;T4 ,= ^! R1SONS1
WIT*ES & W>LOCKS DON'T USU,Y %ACK UP4
  8,L HUMANS1 ! PROPAG,N (! POPUL,N RE-
QUIRES TWO10 ,MISS ,H>B+] EXPLA9$ 6U4
8,"O 63DEMN ! O!R ) :AT IS "KN Z ,8,!
,"O-,H&$ ,J9X40' ,ORIG9AT$ 0A WIT* "ND
,AGNEZZA :ILE PASS+ "? ! VILLAGE ( ,HUM-
BURG1 ? CURSE ALL[S A SUBJECT =A PROL;G$
/RET* 6ONLY 2 A# 6"W US+ "O H&1 :ILE %E
USES ! O!R 6HOLD ! BABY4 ,? IS       #DB
DEVA/AT+1 = Z Y "K1 ! _W (A WIT* IS A
"W+ _W4 ,WE >E M>RI$ 6\R "W40
  8,:AT AB LOVE80 ASK$ ,VELVET4
  8,:AT AB LOVE6 ,WELL1 T'S :Y WE H
CATS1 ISN'T X1 = ,HECATE'S SAKE60 ,MISS
,H>B+] HU6$1 IMPATI5T ) ,VELVET'S LACK (
-MON S5SE4
  8,IS M>RY+ ALL T M5 >E GD =80
  8,NO1 "S ( !M ACTU,Y "W40 ,MISS ,H>B+]
PULL$ ON H] TAPROOT (A *9 ?"\;LLY4
8,Y'RE "R1 Y DON'T H 5 EXPOSURE 6M54
,MAYBE WE %D H "S GUE/ SP1K]S40 ,MISS
,H>B+] DOES N L FIELD TRIPS "E S9CE !
UNPL1SANT 9CID5T AT ! CROCODILE F>M1 B
%E IS V BIG ON GUE/ SP1K]S4 ,ONCE WE _H
"S SMALL P -E3 !Y 7 DRESS$ 6HONOR U &
DID A K9D ( "W CALL$ 8TRICK-OR-TR1T+40
,!Y 7 V FRLY & EXCIT$ 6MEET U4 ,!Y _H
BIG BAGS ( C&Y1 : !Y %>$4 ,!Y EXPLA9$ H[
!Y _H 6"W ONLY "O "D A YE>1 & T !Y _H TO
/R+ TOILET PAP] ALL OV] TREES ON ! PROP-
]TIES ( UNG5]\S P4 ,X SEEM$ L A V EXCEL-
L5T & HELP;L JOB4 ,I HOP$ ! NEXT PRES5T-
]S WD 2 Z 9SPIR+4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] 3JUR$ ?REE FIGURES1   #DC
& WE WAIT$ PATI5TLY = _! P]PLEX$ EXPRES-
.NS 6WE> (F1 Z ,MISS ,H>B+] HAS TAU<T U
6D = GUE/S4 ,!N %E 9TRODUC$ \R CLASS &
9VIT$ !M 6SP1K AB _! PRES5T L9E ( EM-
PLOY;T4
  ,! F/ GUE/ 0 A W>LOCK1 PALE & LUMPY &
ALM HAIR.S EXCEPT =A FEW ?R1DS POK+ \ 9
A R+ >.D 8 H1D4 ,HE WORE A *ALKY BLACK
SPORTS JACKET ) SLEEVES AB F\R 9*ES TOO
%ORT4 8,I AM ! ,%AD[-,MAK]1 & "H IS :AT
,I D4 ,A "M KISSES A LL * & PUTS \ !
LI<T4 ,N[1 SAY "!'S A *AIR1 MAYBE A
BLANKET OV] X4 ,I LAY A LL D>K;S "H1 A
LL %AD[ "!1 & LOOK1 OOOOOH6 ,X LOOKS J L
A MON/]60 ,WE />$ AT HM4 ,HE SWALL[$4
8,S6 ,!N ! * SCR1MS1 ,8,MOMMY1 ,MOMMY10'
&! "M IS 9T]RUPT$1 & %E -ES 9 & SWIT*ES
ON ! LI<T1 & :AT'S "!8 ,A *AIR1 MAYBE )A
BLANKET OV] X80
  8,T'S :AT Y D80 ,FRANTIC SC(F$4 8,FULL
"T80
  ,! OLD MAN SI<$ & %U6L$ OV] 6,MISS
,H>B+]'S DESK4 ,HE >RANG$ H] RUL]1 A
SPELL BOOK1 A /APL]1 & "S PIECES ( *ALK
2F /EPP+ AWAY F 8 SCULPTURE1         #DD
SQU9T+1 ADJU/+1 & !N /EPP+ AWAY AG1 6PE]
"? A SQU>E HE MADE ) 8 F+]S4 ,!N HE NO4$
AT ,MISS ,H>B+]1 :O NO4$ BACK & %UT \ !
LI<TS4
  ,A T]RIFY+ MON/] APPE>$ AT ONCE ON
,MISS ,H>B+]'S DESK4
  8,,AAAAAAAAA,'GGGGGG<HHHHHH60 ,WE ALL
%RIEK$ & SCRAM#D = \R W&S &= COV]4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] SWIT*$ ! LI<TS BACK ON4
,PEEK+ \ CAUTI\SLY F "U \R DESKS1 ALL WE
CD SEE 0 ! >RANGE;T ( S*OOL SUPPLIES4
,WE BROKE 96?"U\S APPLAUSE4
  8,HE'S AN >TI/60 ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE *IRP$4
  ,! ,%AD[MAK] NO4$ HUMBLY4 8,I AL C
MAKE CRACKS 9 ! WALL LOOK L FACES10 HE
A4$ %YLY1 8B ,I MO/LY J D T = FUN40
  ,! NEXT MAN 0 EASILY RECOGNIZA# Z A
DEVIL1 R$ F H1D 6TOE ) SLICK$-BACK HAIR
&A TA/E;L TIE4 8,TAKE ME1 = EXAMPLE10 HE
/>T$ \ 0SAY+4
  8,AN EXAMPLE ( :AT80 ASK$ ,VELVET4
  8,AN EXAMPLE ( SU3ESS1 LL LADY6
,S-,U-D\#-,E-,C-,S6 ,I _H MY SI<TS SET
HI< EV5 :5 ,I 0 A "Y SCAMP1 :Y1 N M*
OLD] ?AN Y >E TD4 ,I GUESS Y CD      #DE
SAY ,I'VE ALW BE5 ,8R$-HOT0'6 ,HA-HA6
,/>T$ MY [N COTTAGE 9DU/RY1 B "O "D MY
TAIL A3ID5T,Y BURN$ ! COTTAGE D[N40 ,HE
HELD UP 8 SMOK+ TAIL 9 A GE/URE ( EXA7]-
AT$ APOLOGY1 B SPRANG "R BACK4 8,B X
TAKES M ?AN A LL A3ID5T 6/OP ME1 ,I'LL
TELL Y :AT6 ,:AT'S ! SAY+8 ,8,SATAN N"E
SLAMS A DOOR )\T SETT+ A M\SETRAP80'
,L;G /ORY %ORT1 N[ ,I RUN A R$-HOT FAC-
TORY1 YESSIR1 ,I PRODUCE T5 ?\S& BOTTLES
A "D ( B>BECUE SAUCE S HOT & SPICY T
X'LL )] D[N A T[NSP]SON'S T;GUE L A
PIECE ( BACON 9 A R$-HOT FRY+ PAN6 ,I
"UPAY MY "W]S & FRITT] AWAY ! 9VE/;TS (
LL OLD LADIES ON "T-%>ES AL;G ! EQUATOR1
& ASK ME :AT ,I DRIVE1 GIRLS1 J G AH1D'N
ASK60 ,HE WAIT$ :ILE WE ALL DIDN'T ASK4
8,WELL1 SIR1 ,I DRIVE A R$ 3V]TI#1
GIRLS1 YESSIR1 GIRLS1 X'S R$-HOT6 ,MAYBE
IF YR BROOM "E RUNS \ ( GAS1 ,I C GIVE Y
A LIFT60 ,HE PO9T$ 8 SMOK+ F+] AT U L A
GUN1 SMIL$1 W9K$1 & MADE A CLICK+ S.D )
8 T;GUE AG/ 8 TEE?1 : MADE U ALL W9CE4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] DIDN'T SEEM 6"K :AT 6SAY
AF S* A PIT*4 8,ANY "QS80            #DF
  ,BELLADONNA RAIS$ H] H&4 8,YES4 ,I 0
WOND]+4 ,D Y ?9K GIRLS DON'T NOTICE H[
_M "TS Y SAY ,8R$-HOT0'80
  ,S9US DIDN'T WAIT 6BE CALL$ ON 2F ASK+
H] "Q4 8,DID Y "K MY BROOM N"E RUNS \ (
GAS8 ,X ALW RUNS .R$-HOT40 ,%E PO9T$ H]
F+] AT HM L A GUN1 SMIL$1 W9K$1 & MADE A
CLICK+ S.D ) H] T;GUE AG/ H] TEE?4
  8,SM>T GIRLS1 SM>T GIRLS10 HE SD "?
GR9D+ MOL>S1 & F ! P9*$ WAY HE LOOK$ :5
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GIRL 0 A "PICUL>LY GD ?+ 6BE4 8,TELL Y
:AT ,I'M GO+ 6D4 ,I'M GO+ 6(F] Y SM>T
GIRLS AN EXCLUSIVE1 R$-HOT ''' ,I M1N1 A
R1L GD OPPORTUN;Y 6LE>N :AT-ALL X M1NS
6BE AN 5TREPR5EUR4 ,ANY "O ( Y :O'D L TO
TRY & SELL "S ( MY GD OL' D[N-HOME B>BE-
CUE SAUCE1 SPICY OR MILD1 ,I'LL GIVE Y A
DEEP 4C.T ON A CASE4 ,X PRACTIC,Y SELLS
XF6 ,9 FACT1 ,MISS ,H>B+]1 IF YR CLASS
WD L 6TRY 6MEET ! GOAL ( TW5TY CASES Z A
CLASS PROJECT1 ,I C GIVE Y A SPECIAL $U-
CATOR'S 4C.T4'''0
  8,T'S Q 5\<1 ?ANK Y40
  ,MY H& %OT UP4 8,:AT'S AN 5TRE-    #DG
PR5EUR80
  8,X'S A BUSI;SP]SON1 ,HUNKY ,DORY4 ,A
PROPRIETOR (A SMALL BUSI;S--0 ,H] EYES
SLID OV] 6\R R$H1D$ GUE/4 8,& "O :O />TS
H] [N BUSI;S1 F H] [N ORIG9AL IDEA40
  ,8,T'S :AT ,I WANT 6BE60 ,I BLURT$4
  ,! DEVIL SMACK$ 8 H&S TGR1 & !N PO9T$
AT ME S VIOL5TLY T ,I NE>LY FELL (F MY
/OOL4 8,SEE N[6 ,T'S :AT ,I L 6SEE6 ,/EP
"R UP1 FOLKS1 & TAKE A G&] AT ! LL LADY
)A LION'S %>E ( AMBI;N6 ,:AT'D Y SAY YR
"N WAS8 ,HUNKY ,DORY8 ,WELL1 "!'S A "N T
/EPS "R UP & SAYS ,8HELLO0' IF ,I "E
HE>D "O6 ,I C SEE X ALL EMBLAZON$ ON A
CORN] (FICE DOOR1 T'S :AT ,I SEE1 & Y
TELL ME IF Y C SEE X TOO6 ,N[1 ,MISS
,HUNKY ,DORY1 "R "H'S MY C>D1 & "R "!'S
MY "N1 ,PETE ,HUCK/]1 & IF Y "E1 "E '''0
  ,HE />T$ D[N ! AISLE1 B ,MISS ,H>B+]
BLOCK$ HM ) H] W& &A /EELY SMILE4 8,\R
NEXT GUE/10 %E SD PO9T$LY1 & UP /EPP$ \R
?IRD PRES5T]1 A TROLL N M* TALL] ?AN MYF
)A NOSE L A %OE1 A TURN$-UP TOE1 & EYES
Z GOLD5-GRE5 Z CO9S AT ! BOTTOM (A POND4
  8,MY "N IS ,RUMPEL/ILTSK940        #DH
  8,T'S Q A "N40 ,MISS ,H>B+]'S EYEBR[S
RAIS$4 8,MAY ,I 9QUIRE Z 6! ORIG980
  8,"O "P CIRCUS P1 "O "P VAMPIRE1 ?REE
"PS V9EG>10 HE REPLI$4
  8,& H[ D Y MAKE YR LIV+1 ,MR4 ,/ILTS-
K980
  8,I C TURN /RAW 96GOLD40
  ,WE HUMM$ \R ADMIR,N G5]\SLY4 ,PRECI\S
METALS >E RUDI;T>Y = U WIT*ES1 B PRETTY
IMPRESSIVE =A TROLL4 ,ESPECI,Y S* A H&"S
"O4 ,ESPECI,Y A H&"S "O T DIDN'T LOOK
ALL T M* OLD] ?AN U4
  8,\*40 ,BELLADONNA WRI!D1 TAK+ (F "O (
H] %OES "U H] DESK4
  8,Y1H1 ,I'LL BET HE PUTS ! ROM.E 9
NECROMANCY10 ,TWI/$ ,ANKLE L1N$ =W>D TO
:ISP]4
  ,IF ,MISS ,H>B+] HE>D !M1 %E IGNOR$ X4
8,": DID Y /UDY 6D T80
  8,I J K9D ( FELL 96X40 ,HE %RU7$4 8,I
DROPP$ \ ( S*OOL40
  ,WE ALL L1N$ =W>D4 ,IF "!'S "O ?+ M
9T]E/+ ?AN A BOY1 X'S A BAD BOY4
  8,Y C .D T80 ,VELVET 0 %OCK$4
  8.,Y C'T40 ,MISS ,H>B+] RAIS$ H]   #DI
W& ?R1T5+LY4 8,MR4 ,/ILTSK9 HAS A SPE-
CIAL GIFT1 A .CALL+1 Y MI<T SAY40
  8,X'S ! ONLY ?+ ,I'M GD AT40 ,RUMPEL-
/ILTSK9 %RU7$4
  8,Y WDN'T "K1 S9CE Y DROPP$ \10 ,MISS
,H>B+] *ID$ HM G5TLY1 8B "! IS "S?+ 6BE
SD = FOCUS+ ON A TAL5T & PURSU+ X 6XS
FULL POT5TIAL40
  8,OH1 ,I PLAN 6PURSUE X 6XS FULL POT5-
TIAL40 ,A SMILE CAME OV] ,RUMPEL/ILTSK9
SL[LY1 L ! UNW9D+ (A SNAKE1 & :5 X 0
FULLY UNCOIL$1 X LEFT U ALL RATTL$4 ,A
LL ?RILL W5T "? ! R[S Z 8 EYES GL9T$
YELL[ AT U1 & 8 TEE? SEEM$ 6GR[ %>P] ! M
HE SMIL$4 ,EV5 ,I FELT A ?RUMM+4 ,HE
RU2$ 8 H&S TGR4 8,I WON'T /OP UNTIL
,I'VE 9FILTRAT$ ! CA/LE40
  8,8,! F/ /EP 9 A3OMPLI%+ AMAZ+ ?+S IS
SETT+ UNR1LI/IC GOALS10'0 ,MISS ,H>B+]
SD1 SMIL+4 7..,BE ! ,"O )! .,W&1 *APT]
T547
  ,I DON'T "K AB T4 ,GETT+ ! ATT5;N ( S*
A H&"S TROLL SEEMS L X MI<T 2 TOO UNR1L-
I/IC A GOAL 6A3OMPLI%1 EV5 = AN
5TREPR5EUR :O IS DE/9$ 6BE ! WICK-   #EJ
$E/ WIT* :]"E ! F\R W9DS BL[4

    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 WAX+ CRESC5T
  ,ANO!R SUNNY "D4 ,"! GOES ! WEEK5D4
,:AT DOES ,"M ,NATURE H AG/ U WIT*ES8 ,I
0 R1D+ ..,2 ! ,"O )! .,W&1 B ,MAMA SOON
PUT ME 6"W DU/+ ALL ( H] COLLEC;NS4 ,X
IS RE,Y GETT+ IMPOSSI#2 %E HAS S M*
BRIC-A-BRAC T ,I C B>ELY TURN >.D ANY-
MORE )\T KNOCK+ OV] A J> ( PICKL$ SQUID
OR NEWT'S EYE4 ,!N ,GOLDILOCKS %[$ UP1
AG1 ALL SUNBURN$ & BLOND & HORRI# LOOK+4
  8,GL5DA ,GL9KA HAS 6VISIT ,D+BAT10 %E
ANN\NC$ 6MY "M1 & M>*$ 9 L %E [N$ !
PLACE4
  ,I AM N V FOND ( ,GOLDILOCKS4 ,I ?9K
%E HAS V BAD MANN]S1 & ,I DON'T "K :AT
GOES ON 9 H] H1D T %E ?9KS %E C J WALK
96"S"O'S H\SE UN9VIT$4 ,MAMA TELLS ME TO
2 PATI5T2 %E'S J A LL KID & X'S N H]
FAULT H] P>5TS >E S P]MISSIVE4 ,I ?9K P
H BE5 .TOO PATI5T ) H]1 T'S ! PRO#M4 ,I
DON'T "K :Y ,MAMA IS S NICE 6H]2 %E M/
FEEL BAD 2C H] P>5TS N"E SPANK H]4 ,OR
MAYBE ,MAMA IS J PATI5T ) ANY"O      #EA
EXCEPT ME4
  ,I DON'T BLAME ,GOLDILOCKS = -+ OV] TO
PLAY DOLLS1 ?\<4 ,WE D H A PRETTY GRT
COLLEC;N4 ,AUNTIE ,MALICE />T$ BR++ ME
BACK DOLLS F ALL ( H] TRAVELS1 S WE H !M
F _M N,NS1 L ,/REGA ,NONA F ,ITALY1 :O
-ES ) H] [N MAGIC PA/A POT2 & ,BABA ,YA-
GA F ,RUSSIA1 )A DELUXE PLAY SET T HAS
H] H\SE ON *ICK5 LEGS &A F;E ( GL[-IN-!-
D>K B"OS4 ,!N ,MAMA J />T$ COLLECT+ ALL
SORTS ( WIT* DOLLS Z A HO2Y4 ,WIT* FA%-
ION DOLLS1 WIT* RAG DOLLS1 WIT*Y FIGU-
R9ES 9 %AD[ BOXES4 ,%E F9DS A LOT ( !M
AT CELL> SALES4 ,%E LOOKS AT _! EXPRES-
.NS1 & IF !Y SEEM L !Y H A LL MIS*IEF 9
!M1 %E'LL BR+ !M HOME4 ,DOLLS ( FAM\S
WIT*ES F HI/ORY >E H] FAVORITES4 ,%E HAS
AN ESPECI,Y CREEPY DOLL F ! ,L\ISIANA
BAY\1 ,M>IE ,LAV1U1 :O -ES ) ALLIGATOR
%OES2 ,MORGAN ,LE,FAY HAS ATTA*A# F1!R$
W+S2 & ,JOAN ( ,>C F ,FR.E1 :O IS 9 A LL
T9 SUIT ( >MOR4 ,JOAN IS N RE,Y A WIT*1
B ,AUNTIE ,MALICE SAYS ANY WOMAN ) 5 P[]
5DS UP 2+ CALL$ A WIT*1 & AF :AT T POOR
GIRL W5T "?1 %E DES]VES AN HONOR>Y   #EB
MEMB]%IP4
  ,MAMA LET ,VELVET & ME PLAY ) ALL (!
DOLLS :5 WE 7 LL1 CUTT+ (F _! HAIR &
DRAW+ ON !M ) M>K] & *ANG+ ALL _! CLO!S
>.D4 ,? "S"TS PULL$ AT ! /IT*+ 2C1
FRANKLY1 ,/REGA ,NONA HAS A V DI6]5T
FIGURE F ,M>IE ,LAV1U4 ,S ,MAMA />T$
MAK+ "S (! DOLLS CLO!S1 & !N Z !Y GOT
OLD] WE _H 6BE G5TL]1 S MO/ (! DOLLS 5D$
UP ON %ELVES4 ,6RELAX1 ,MAMA LIKES 6SET
!M UP 9 LL POSES & SC5ES1 /IRR+ CAUL-
DRONS OR HID+ 2H BU%ES 6JUMP \ & SC>E
TRICK-OR-TR1T]S ON ,HALL[E54 ,MAMA C 2 V
CR1TIVE4
  ,WELL1 ,GOLDILOCKS CAME OV] ) H] RAG
DOLL1 ,GL5DA ,GL9KA1 :O 0 "ND AF A FAM\S
WIT* :O TURN$ H]F 96A PRETTY LL D>K-
HAIR$ GIRL & W5T 6S*OOL4 ,%E LIKES 6MAKE
,GL5DA ,GL9KA H A TEA "PY ) ALL ! O!R
WIT* DOLLS4 ,Z SOON Z ,GOLDILOCKS CAME
OV]1 ,MAMA TOOK \ ! GRISLY OLD BOX FULL
( WIT* DOLLS T H ALR BE5 GIV5 HAIRCUTS4
,HALF ( !M DON'T EV5 WE> CLO!S1 !Y >E J
ALL TWI/$ 9 T BOX1 B ,GOLDILOCKS DOESN'T
C>E1 2C1 IF Y ASK ME1 %E IS A LL     #EC
TWI/$ H]F4 ,! F/ ?+ %E DOES IS PULL (F
ALL _! >MS & LEGS & /ICK !M 9 OPPOSITE
HOLES4 ,EV5 ?\< ,I "K !Y >E ONLY DOLLS1
,I W9CE4 8,"! Y G60 ,%E PATS "O ON ! H1D
AF %E MANGLES X WORSE ?AN A <O/ (A ,CIV-
IL ,W> SOLDI]4 ,!N %E PLOPS H]F D[N 9 !
MI4LE (! LIV+ ROOM & MAKES ALL ! DOLLS
SIT 9 A LL CIRCLE4 ,%E LIKES "O RAG DOLL
! BE/2 "O ^: EYES >E LOOSE & MISS+ NE>LY
ALL ( H] Y>N HAIR1 &! /IT*+ 9 H] FACE IS
S WORN T %E HAS ONLY A HALF-SMILE LEFT T
DROOPS ON "O SIDE4 ,%E CALLS H] ,D+BAT &
%E MAKES ,GL5DA ,GL9KA & ,D+BAT TALK TO
EA* O!R 9 /RANGE LL HI<-PIT*$ VOICES4
  8..,HI1 ,GL5DA ,GL9KA1 H[ >E Y80
  8,I'M F9E1 ?ANK Y1 ,D+BAT H[ >E Y80
  8,OH1 ,I'M F9E1 SWEETIE PIE1 ?ANKS =
ASK+4 ,WD Y L "S .PORRIDGE80
  8,:AT WIT* 9 H] "R M9D EATS PORRIDGE80
,I LOOK$ UP F MY SPELL BOOK4
  8,"EYBODY LIKES PORRIDGE10 SD ,GOLDI-
LOCKS4
  8..,N[1 EAT YR PORRIDGE40
  8,OH1 ?ANK Y1 T IS S NICE ( Y4 ,YUM1
YUM4 ,X'S N TOO HOT OR TOO COLD1     #ED
X'S J ."R40
  ,GOLDILOCKS IS -PLETELY FIXAT$4 ,I
SWE>1 %E RUNS "? ! SAME SCRIPT E "T %E
-ES OV]4
  8,= ,PETE'S SAKE1 DON'T Y "K ANY O!R
GAMES80 ,I ASK$ H]4 ,%E />$ AT ME BLANK-
LY4 8,L10 MY M9D RAC$1 8:Y DON'T Y PLAY
DOLL P>ADE4 ,L9E !M ALL UP & SEE H[ F>
!Y G40
  8,OR DOLL .B1UTY .PAG1NT P>ADE10 %E
SD1 HOLD+ UP A F+] 9 A 8EUREKA0 MO;T4
8,AH-HAAAAAA40
  8,SURE1 :AT"E10 ,I SD4 8,J N ! POR-
RIDGE & T AW;L PL1SE-?ANK-Y-SWEETIE-PIE
BUSI;S40
  8,N[1 ,GL5DA ,GL9KA1 Y G F/ 2C Y >E !
MO/ B1UTI;LE/ GIRL 9 ! :OLE P>ADE10 %E
EXPLA9$ 6! DOLL4
  ,DID %E ACTU,Y SAY .B1UTI;LE/8 ,%E HAS
.GOT 6BE DO+ T ON PURPOSE4
  8,!N1 ,D+BAT1 Y G SECOND 2C Y >E J1L\S
& BAD1 BAD1 BAD60 ,%E :OMP$ ! RAG DOLL'S
FACE D[N ON ! FLOOR A FEW "TS4 8,DON'T
CRY4 ,Y "K Y H 6BE SECOND = PUNI%;T ( 2+
J1L\S4 ,X'S ! ONLY WAY Y'LL LE>N40   #EE
,%E SI<$4 ,!N %E %RIEK$1 8,MAMA ,WIT*6
,: "O IS YR FAVORITE DOLL80
  8,MMMM ''' ,HECK$Y ,PEG60 ,MAMA CALL$
F ! KIT*5 ": %E 0 "W+4 ,GOLDILOCKS DRA7$
A *AIR "UN1? A %ELF4
  8,MAMA6 ,GOLDILOCKS IS TAK+ ,HECK$Y
,PEG (F (! %ELF10 ,I TATTL$4
  8,I NE$ X = MY P>ADE60 %E CALL$4
  ,AF A PAUSE ,MAMA SD1 8,HUNKY ,DORY1
GET ,HECK$Y ,PEG D[N & KEEP AN EYE ON
,GOLDILOCKS :ILE %E PLAYS S T N"O (! "PS
G MISS+40
  ,I 0 V ANNOY$4 ,HECK$Y ,PEG 0 A FAM\S
WIT* :O CAME ^U SEV5 *N1 EA* "ND =A "D (
! WEEK1 & %E TURN$ !M ALL 96DI6]5T FOODS
= H] D9N]4 ,! "M (! *N SAV$ !M 0SOLV+ A
RI4LE T MAT*$ EA* * ) EA* FOOD1 & !N
,HECK$Y ,PEG MET ) AN UN"TLY 5D 7,AUNTIE
,MALICE SAYS ? IS (T5 ! CASE ) HI<-
PROFILE WIT*ES74 ,WELL1 ! ,HECK$Y ,PEG
PLAY SET _H SEV5 TE5Y-WE5Y LL PLATES (
FOOD1 : ( C\RSE ,GOLDILOCKS MADE ME BR+
D[N4
  8,NEXT IS YR FAVORITE10 ,GOLDILOCKS
OBLIG$4                              #EF
  8,I L ,BEFANA40 ,I W5T OV] 6A DI6]5T
%ELF & TOOK D[N ! DOLL F ,ITALY4 ,I L !
DOLL'S SAT9 ORANGE CLOAK &! OV]FL[+ BAG
( GDIES T %E C>RIES4 ,I AL L ! DOLL'S
FACE1 ALL PURS$ & SQU9TY & SMIL+1 L %E J
HE>D A GD JOKE4
  8,BEFANA'S N A WIT*10 SD ,GOLDILOCKS4
  8,YES %E IS10 ,I CORRECT$ H]4 8,BEFANA
0 SUPPOS$ 6HELP ! WISE M5 DELIV] GIFTS4
,%E GOT SEP>AT$1 & N[ %E W&]S >.D ! _W
L1V+ GIFTS = ALL *N1 J 9 CASE "O IS !
RECIPI5T T %E ORIG9,Y 9T5D$4 ,BEFANA !
WIT*4 ,F ,ITALY4 ,%E'S V FAM\S40
  8,%E MI<T 2 FAM\S & %E MI<T 2 F ,ITA-
LY1 B %E'S N A WIT*40 ,GOLDILOCKS >RANG$
,HECK$Y ,PEG'S PLATES4
  8,MA60 ,I CALL$4 8,IS ,BEFANA A WIT*80
  8,BEFANA IS A WIT*60 %E CALL$ BACK4
  8,SEE80 ,I SD4 ,J = H] $IFIC,N4
  ,B ,GOLDILOCKS %OOK H] H1D NO S VIO-
L5TLY T H] NA/Y LL R+LETS BO2$ ALL OV] !
PLACE4 8,BEFANA HELPS P4 ,%E IS A FAIRY
GOD"M40
  ,I CD N LOOK AT H]4 ,I /RAI<T5$
,BEFANA'S CLOAK & TURN$ H] OV] TO    #EG
*ECK = "UWE>4
  ,GOLDILOCKS 0 />+ AT ME4 8,>E Y .MY
FAIRY GOD"M80 %E ASK$4 ,I IGNOR$ H]4
8,>E Y .MY FAIRY GOD"M80 %E REP1T$1 S ,I
IGNOR$ H] AG 2C LE>N+ 6TAKE A H9T1 ,I
FEEL1 IS AN IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL4 8,>E Y
'''80
  8,I AM A WIT*60 ,I EXPLOD$4 8,MY "M IS
A WIT* & ,I AM A WIT*1 J L YR "M IS A
'''0 ,I CAU<T MYF4 8,I AM A WIT*10 ,I
REP1T$1 CALM+ D[N4
  8,JOAN ( ,>C IS NEXT1 B %E'S NAK$40
,GOLDILOCKS HELD ! DOLL \ 6ME1 APP>5TLY
MOV+ ON4
  ,I W5T 96! CLOSET & PULL$ \ ! BOX (
DOLL CLO!S4 8,:AT %D %E WE>8 ,B[L+ 9
,BLACK8 ,BR1KFA/ 9 ,SA#8 ,NI<T 9 ,NOIR80
,I LAID \ ! LL DRESSES4 ,GOLDILOCKS FI%$
"? ! BOX 4TA/E;LLY4
  8,BL1H4 ,^! >E ALL BLACK40 ,%E NE>LY
/UCK \ H] T;GUE4
  8,( C\RSE !Y >E40 ,I SI<$4 8,!Y >E =
WIT*ES40
  8,BEFANA'S CAPE IS ORANGE40
  8,DON'T />T T AG4 ,WAIT1 LOOK1 ?   #EH
%OE IS K9D ( PURPLE '''40
  8,MAKE ,JOAN A PRETTY P9K DRESS10 %E
DEM&$4
  8,I _C MAKE ,JOAN A P9K DRESS10 ,I IN-
=M$ H]4 8,I D N H ANY P9K FABRIC40
  ,GOLDILOCKS LIFT$ H] SKIRT RUDELY &
EXPOS$ A P9K TULLE SLIP 9 PRETTY PUCK]$
LAY]S4 ,N[1 ,I ASK Y1 :AT IS ! PO9T ( 2+
A WIT* IF Y C'T PUT %E>S 6A P9K TULLE
SLIP 9 PRETTY PUCK]$ LAY]S8 ,9 A MO;T ,I
_H CUT (F A BIG PIECE & WE 7 AT ! SEW+
MA*9E4 ,I PLUCK$ A SPID] F ! WALL 6?R1D
X & WE 7 (F4
  8,GIVE ME YR HAIR RI2ON10 ,I SD4
,GOLDILOCKS DIDN'T >GUE1 & RE/$ H] *9 ON
MY %\LD] 6WAT* :ILE ! MA*9E HUMM$4 ,I
TRIMM$ ! COLL> )! BLUE SAT9 6FALL >.D !
DOLL'S %\LD]S1 & !N CUT (F ANO!R POR;N Z
A SA% 6MAT*4 ,I SQUEEZ$ ! DOLL "?4 ,JOAN
/>$ BACK AT ME1 V SOLEMN & ELEGANT1 N[
PREP>$ 6L1D ! ,FR5* >MY .OR G 6A COTIL-
LION1 Z ! SITU,N %D *.E 6DEM&4
  8,"H40 ,I H&$ ! DOLL 6,GOLDILOCKS4
  ,& !N X />T$ HAPP5+ AG4 ,T ELECTRIC
FEEL+ T CD FRIZZ MY HAIR4 ..,I AM    #EI
A WIT*1 ,I AM A .WIT*4 ,I TRI$ 6MA% !
FEEL+ D[N ) ^? ^WS4
  8,MAMA ,WIT*60 CALL$ ,GOLDILOCKS4
8,HUNKY ,DORY MADE A DRESS = ,JOAN60
  ,MAMA CAME IN1 WIP+ H] H&S ON A CRU/Y
DI% T[EL4 8,LET'S SEE10 %E SD4
  ,GOLDILOCKS HELD UP ! DOLL4
  8,D Y H "S K9D (A FLU80 0 ALL ,MAMA CD
SAY4
  8,I ?9K1 MAYBE10 ,I GULP$4 ,%E CAME
OV] & FELT MY H1D4
  8,HUNKY ,DORY IS MY FAIRY GOD"M40
,GOLDILOCKS GR9N$ A BIG TOO?.S GR94 8,%E
GRANT$ MY WI%40
  ,AT L1/ ,I DIDN'T H 6PLAY ) ,GOLDI-
LOCKS ANYMORE4

    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 HALF FULL 7FEELS
    HALF EMPTY7
  ,? MORN+ ,MISS ,H>B+] WA7$ A PIECE (
PAP] 9 ! AIR & WALK$ D[N \R R[S L A G5]-
AL4 8,WD ANY"O L 6TAKE RESPONSIBIL;Y =
.?80 ,%E SEEM$ 6PAUSE 0MY DESK1 B ,I _H
NO IDEA :AT %E 0 TALK+ AB1 S ( C\RSE ,I
DIDN'T SAY ANY?+4 ,%E TURN$ >.D :5   #FJ
%E R1*$ H] DESK & FR[N$ AT U Z IF %E 7
WAIT+ = "S?+4
  8,I GOT "O1 TOO10 ,FRANTIC ,SE>*
BR1!D4 8,I ?9K X'S J .T]RI#1 ,MISS ,H>-
B+]40
  8,"O :AT80 ,I ASK$4
  8,A *A9 LR1 ,HUNKY ,DORY10 %E SD1 & !N
R1D AL\D F ! %EET %E 0 HOLD+3 8,8,MAKE
SIX COPIES ( ? LR & 4TRIBUTE 6SIX FRS )9
SIX H\RS1 & YR FONDE/ WI% % -E TRUE40'
,LET'S D ! MA?4 ,H[ _M SETS ( SIX 9 A
GIV5 TW5TY-F\R-H\R "D80
  8,F\R40
  8,S1 IF SIX WI%ES 7 GRANT$ = E SIX P
:O =W>D$ ? LR )9 SIX H\RS 9 A TW5TY-F\R-
H\R P]IOD1 H[ _M WI%ES CD POT5TI,Y 2
GRANT$ 9 A GIV5 "D80
  8,"O ?\S& TWO HUNDR$ N9ETY-SIX40 ,H[
DID ,FRANTIC "K1 (F ! BAT L T8 ,VELVET'S
! "O :O IS GD AT MA?4
  8,CORRECT4 ,M IF !Y 7 FA/4 ,"S"O M/ 2
V V 9T]E/$ 9 GRANT+ WI%ES4 ,:O ELSE RCVD
A LR L ?80
  ,"EY"O B ME RAIS$ _! H&4 8,X SEEMS
"S"O GOT HOLD (! CLASS LI/ & S5T A   #FA
*A9 LR 6"EY"O EXCEPT ,HUNKY ,DORY4
,DON'T Y F9D T R MY/]I\S8 ,R P]PLEX+8 ,R
.3F.DRILAT+80
  ,I CD N "U/& :AT %E 0 GETT+ AT1 B !N X
DAWN$ ON ME3 %E ?"\ ,I S5T ^? LRS6 8,I
DIDN'T S5D !M60 ,I GASP$4 ,FRANTIC TURN$
AWAY1 B N 2F ,I NOTIC$ H] TRIUMPHANT
SNE]4
  8,TAKE \ YR BOOKS60 ,MISS ,H>B+]
SNAPP$4 ,A T5DRIL FELL F H] BLACK BUN4
8,OP5 ..,/UNK & ,:ITE1 ,ELE;TS ( .,/YLE
6! APP5DIX1 ,ROMAN NUM]AL ,,MXLV60 ,%E
R1D AL\D3 8,8,*A9 LRS %D 2 SIMPLE ?R1TS
( AN UNDISCLOS$ NATURE 6BE P]PETRAT$ AG/
! GULLI# & SUP]/ITI\S60' ,MISS ,DORY6 ,D
Y 3SID] MYF OR YR COV5 "PICUL>LY GULLI#
OR SUP]/ITI\S80
  8,NO1 MA'AM1 B--0
  ,%E 3T9U$ R1D+4 8,FUR!RMORE6 ,8,GD =M
DEM&S T A *A9 LR %D N -PRISE ( ANY MIS-
L1D+ PROMISES REG>D+ FUTURE POSITIVE \T-
-E %D ! RECIPI5T -PLY6 ,S* 9BRE$+ ( D>K
& LI<T MAGIC CR1TES A FEV] ( ANNOY.E &
DESPAIR 6: EV5 WIT*ES H NO IMMUN;Y60'
,N[6 ..,2 ! ,"O )! .,W&1 PAGE        #FB
#CCB60 ,%E ?UMP$ BACK ! PAGES ( H] ?ICK
T1*]'S EDI;N ANGRILY4 ,WE FOLL[$4 8,R1D
& REP1T6 ,8,LIVE Z ?\< YR FONDE/ WI% HAS
ALR BE5 GRANT$60'0
  8,LIVE Z ?\< YR FONDE/ WI% HAS ALR BE5
GRANT$10 WE REP1T$4
  8,DOES ANY"O "H NE$ ANY WI%ES GRANT$80
  8,NO1 MA'AM10 WE ANSW]$ 9 UNISON4
  8,N EV5 0A FAIRY GOD"M80 ,%E HOV]$ OV]
ME4
  ,? 0 TOO UNFAIR4 8,MISS ,H>B+]60 ,I
PROTE/$4 8,IF X 7 ,I :O S5T ^? LRS1 :5 Y
ASK$ :O RCVD "O1 WDN'T ,I H RAIS$ MY H&
IMMLY 6?R[ Y (F ! TRACK80
  ,MISS ,H>B+] 0 TAK5 ABACK 0? & LOOK$
MO;T>ILY 3FUS$4 ,%E /RODE BACK 6H] DESK
& RU2$ H] *94 8,P]H Y DIDN'T "K1 GIRLS1
S LET ME (F] Y A F/ & LA/ W>N+4 ,WI%ES C
2 V DEEP1 D>K ?+S4 ,!Y >E TOO WIT*Y EV5
= MO/ WIT*ES4 ,EV5 = "O ) YR TAL5TS1
,FRANTIC ,SE>*40 ,%E TURN$ H] GRE5 EYES
ON MY NEMESIS1 & !N ON ME4 8,OR YRS1
,HUNKY ,DORY40 ,A %AD[ FELL ACR H] FACE4
8,WI%ES >E ! S\RCE ( P[] =! P[].S & NE$
6BE "U/OOD -PLETELY 2F !Y C 2        #FC
UTILIZ$ 9 A WIT*'S >S5AL4 ,IF Y "K "S-
"O'S DESIRES1 Y C CR1TE ! DELU.N T IM-
POSSI# OR RIDICUL\S ?+S >E )9 R1*1 & IN-
SPIRE GRT SACRIFICES4 ,Y C CR1TE A TOXIC
CL\D ( 4SATISFAC;N T W P]M1TE E MO;T (
YR VICTIM'S "D4 ,Y C TURN YR 5EMIES AG/
!MVS1 9VIT+ DE/RUC;N 0_! [N RAPACI\S
CRAV+S4 ,Y C G 96ADV]TIS+6
  8,S* IS ! POT5TIAL (! WI%ES ( M]E MOR-
TALS1 S Y C IMAG9E1 ! WI%ES ( WIT*ES H
"PICUL>LY GRT & DEVA/AT+ P[]40 ..,C WI%-
ES MAKE ?+S BETT]8 ,M 9T]E/+8 ,M .HOPE-
;L8 ,I ?"\4 ,I BIT MY LIP4 ,0 ? M ( T
REBELLION T ,MAMA 0 TALK+ AB8 ,:Y CDN'T
,I J LI/5 & A3EPT :AT ,MISS ,H>B+] 0
TELL+ U8 8,TOY+ ) !M IS .GR.DS .= .EX-
PUL.N40 ,I CD SEE ,VELVET LOOK+ WORRI$LY
AT ME \ (! CORN] ( H] EYE4 8,Y H BE5
W>N$4 ,"! IS 5TIRELY TOO M* TALK AB WI%-
GRANT+4 ,I DON'T WANT ANO!R ^W AB X1 D Y
HE>80
  8,B IF WE .%D H "QS10 ,BELLADONNA
SQU1K$1 8IS "! A BOOK80
  ,I ?"\ X 0 A P]FECTLY R1SONA# ?+ 6ASK1
B ,MISS ,H>B+] LOOK$ P9*$ & SD1      #FD
8,NO1 "! IS N A BOOK40 7,IN AN UNNECES-
S>ILY S>CA/IC WAY1 9 MY OP9ION47 ,%E
SI<$4 8,I GUESS ! BE/ ?+ 6D IS H A GUE/
SP1K] S T Y C SEE = YRVS H[ UNDESIRA# X
ALL RE,Y IS40
  ,HOORAY666 ,,FIN,'ALLY "S?+ ,,USE,'-
FUL4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] TOOK ME ASIDE & SD %E 0
SORRY1 B %E 0 GO+ 6H 6LET MY "M "K :AT
_H HAPP5$4 ,I SD1 8,Y >E GO+ 6TELL H]
NO?+1 !N80 ,%E SD T ! SITU,N 0 TOO S]I\S
6TRY 6MAKE UP = X )A LL EXTRA-CR$IT BACK
TALK4 ,I 0 S EMB>RASS$4
  ,I LOOK$ AT ,FRANTIC ALL MORN+ ) BURN+
EYEBALLS1 B %E DIDN'T D>E LOOK BACK AT
ME4 8,H[ F> ! FALL F GRACE10 %E MANAG$
6MUTT] 9 MY E> Z %E LEFT =! "D4
  8,FRANTIC DID X10 ,I 3FID$ 9 ,VELVET4
8,I J "K X40
  8,:Y DON'T Y TELL ,MISS ,H>B+]80
  8,2C !N ,MISS ,H>B+] W PUNI% H]1 & !N
":'S ! FUN = ME8 ,"S"D ,I'LL TAKE ! CURL
\ ( H] BOOTS = GETT+ ME 96S* TR\#40
  ,T'S N A WI%4
  ,T'S A PROMISE4                    #FE

    ,LAT]
  ,LUCKILY1 ,AUNTIE ,MALICE 0 "! :5 ,MA-
MA R1D ! NOTE F ,MISS ,H>B+]4 8,AH1 TR\#
9 S*OOL6 ,T TAKES ME BACK60
  8,? IS S]I\S1 ,SPITE;L4 ,%E 0 CAU<T
S5D+ A WI%-GRANT+ *A9 LR40
  8,I WASN'T CAU<T6 ,I 0 FRAM$60
  8,& W Y SEEK REV5GE ^U %E :O HAS SL&]$
YR BAD "N80
  8,) E DOG-BITT5 B"O 9 MY BODY1 ,I V[
6USE H] [N RAPACI\S CRAV+S Z A MAP 6H]
[N DE/RUC;N60
  8,/ WORRI$80 ,AUNTIE W9K$ AT MY "M &
SIPP$ H] TEA4 8,OH1 SI/]1 DON'T OP5 YR
UMBRELLA 2F X />TS 6RA94 ,%E'LL / 2 !
WICK$E/ WIT* :]"E ! F\R W9DS BL[1 J Z Y
SAY40
  ,MAMA / LOOK$ WORRI$4

    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 WAX+ GI2\S
  ,I DECID$ 6P]=M AN EXP]I;T 6SEE IF
,AUNTIE ,MALICE IS "R AB "! 2+ ONLY "O
K9D ( MIS*IEF4 ,I 4GUIS$ MYF Z AN OLD
CR"O 0DRESS+ 9 PAUP]'S RAGS &        #FF
SCRUN*+ UP MY FACE UNTIL X LOOK$ L A
MONKEY'S BOTTOM4 ,? IS A CLASSIC WIT*'S
TRICK2 ! WAY P TR1T ! ELD]LY IS A GD
GAUGE ( :AT REW>DS--& :AT PUNI%;TS--!Y
DES]VE4 ,I WALK$ = Q A 4T.E1 & ?\< X 0 A
NICE /ROLL1 ,I DIDN'T F9D ANY"O T ,I CD
:AMMY4 ,I 0 SURPRIS$ :5 ,I CAME ACR A
%ANTY 9 A CLE>+ DEEP 9 ! WOODS4 ,I WD H
GUESS$ X 0 AB&ON$ F ! /ATE ( X1 B ! G>D5
0 >RANG$ 9 TIDY PLOTS & "S BIRDS 7 WOR-
RY+ A FULL COB ( DRI$ CORN HUNG F !
POR*4 ,I NOTIC$ A WELL1 S ,I KNOCK$ ON !
DOOR1 "U ! RUSE T ,I MI<T BEG "S WAT]4
,:5 ! DOOR OP5$1 ! PRETTIE/ "Y WOMAN 0
/&+ "!4 ,H] HAIR 0 9 BLACK1 P]FECT
COILS4 ,H] SK9 0 ! COLOR ( MILKWE$2 X
LOOK$ Z S(T1 TOO4 ,H] EYES 7 TIR$1 RIMM$
) D>K HALF-MOONS1 B H] LIDS FRAM$ TWO
TOPAZ JEWELS4
  ,2F ,I CD EV5 ASK = WAT]1 %E CRI$1
8,OH1 Y M/ 2 ?IR/Y1 OLD LADY60 ,%E 0
SK9NY & _H BAD PO/URE1 B %E 0 QK ON H]
FEET4 ,%E SKITT]$ (F & 0 BACK )A B5T-UP
LADLE4 8,Y >E ?IR/Y1 >5'T Y8 ,X IS S* A
HOT "D40                             #FG
  ,AL? ,I 0 AW;LLY IMPRESS$ ) H] EMPA!T-
IC NATURE1 ,I /AY$ 9 "*1 GRA2+ ! LADLE F
H] L A GR\*Y1 IMPATI5T OLD H>RIDAN4 ,I
LIMP$ 6! WELL4 ,! GIRL SKIPP$ AL;G 2H
ME1 SMIL+ & :I/L+1 L A SI/] 9CLUD$ ON "S
ADV5TURE4
  8,:AT >E Y S LOOP;Y-LOO AB80 ,I GRUNT-
$4 8,Y LIVE 9 A %ACK & Y PROBABLY DON'T
H 5 M"OY =A CRU/ ( BR1D60
  8,A %ACK IS M ?AN "S P H1 & :ILE MY
/OMA* IS EMPTY1 ,I C'T -PLA94 ,I C :I/LE
L ! BIRDS 9 ! TREES2 ,I H /R;G >MS 6"W
>.D MY H\SE2 ,I H EYES T SEE %>P ! S(T
CL\DS1 &A NOSE 6SMELL ! G>D5IAS '''0
  8,& Y'RE PRETTY10 ,I A4$4
  ,%E BLU%$ DEEPLY1 HUMBLY1 & LOOK$ D[N
AT H] DIRTY FEET4 8,"H ,I AM1 TALK+ ALL
AB :AT ,I H4 ,LET'S GET "S?+ = Y6 ,DIP
YR LADLE & ''' & HELP YRF 6:AT"E C 2
%>$60 ,%E SPOKE B"RLY & H] EYES SP>KL$
QUE]LY4 ,I PE]$ 96! WELL4 ,9 ! LL LI<T T
MADE XS WAY D[N1 ,I CD SEE A MURKY PU4LE
T B>ELY COV]$ ! BOTTOM1 A MIS]A# TOAD
BURP+1 & COBWEBS ALL >.D ! SIDES4 ,I
LIFT$ MY H1D & NOTIC$ T H] G>D5      #FH
PLOT 0 A YELL[-BR[N MAT1 &! E>? WE 7 /&+
ON 0 S P>*$ X PULL$ AWAY F XF 96CRACK$1
GRASS.S P5TAGONS4 ,X 0 Z ,I ?"\3 ! ONLY
WAT] ON T L& 0 SP>KL+ 9 H] EYES4
  ,I L[]$ ! BUCKET & LADLE 96! WELL4
8,PRETTY DRY >.D "H10 ,I SPAT4
  8,C'T 2 LUCKY 9 "EY?+10 %E SD MATT]-(-
FACTLY4
  8,LIVE AL"O80
  8,YES40
  8,ANY SUITORS80
  8,OH1 NO6 ,N _M P PASS "?40
  ,A R1L BURI$ TR1SURE1 T "O4 ,I 4PLAY$
MY M1NE/ GRIMACE1 B %E J SMIL$ BACK Z IF
,I _H SMIL$ F/4 ,"S?+ _H 6BE D"O4
  ,I PULL$ UP ! BUCKET & PULL$ \ ! LA-
DLE1 : TURN$ 6SILV]1 /U4$ ) DIAMONDS &A
DECORATIVE HUNK ( LAPIS LAZULI AT ! HAN-
DLE4 ,I 0 FEEL+ CR1TIVE4
  8,OH60 ,! GIRL DID A D\# TAKE4
  ,I DIPP$ ! LADLE 9 ! BUCKET & SD1
8,DR9K YR FILL ONCE10 FILL+ ! LADLE )
WAT] &A GOLDFI%4 ,I SIPP$ X NOISILY4 ,I
L[]$ ! BUCKET 96! WELL AG1 BR"\ X UP &
SD1 8,DR9K YR FILL TWICE10 FILL+ !   #FI
LADLE ) MILK4 ,:5 ,I SD1 8,DR9K YR FILL
?RICE10 ! LADLE DRIB#D OV] ) P9K LEMON-
ADE ) BIG HUNKS ( FRUIT BO2+ 9 X1 &A LL
ICE CR1M MIX$ IN4 ,! GIRL /OOD "!1 H]
M\? HUNG OP5 L A DOOR (F ( XS H+E4
  ,=! F9ALE1 ,I SD1 8,DR9K YR FILL
.NICE10 & BR"\ UP A %9Y1 NAK$ BABY 9 !
BUCKET1 COO+1 ) >MS \T/RET*$ = H] NEW
MAMA4 ,X 0 ALL ,I CD D 6KEEP F HOPP+ >.D
& %\T+ 8,I DID X60
  ,I H&$ ! BABY &! LADLE 6! AWE/RUCK
GIRL & />T$ 6WALK AWAY4 8,DON'T =GET 6S+
X LULLABIES10 ,I A4$ ?"\;LLY1 TAK+ (F MY
CO/UME Z ,I WALK$4
  8,B '''0
  8,DON'T =GET 6S+ X .LULLABIES10 ,I RE-
P1T$4
  ,%E LOOK$ BLANK =A MO;T :ILE ! * PULL$
PLAY;LLY ON H] P]FECT CURLS4 ,!N %E OP5$
H] M\? & SANG3

8,MY SWEET LL H"OYBEE1
,SWEET Z ! H"OY 9 ! H"OY TREE '''0

  ,F H] LIPS P\R$ RUBIES1 GOLD       #GJ
CO9S1 EM]ALDS1 PE>LS1 SAPPHIRES1 Y "K1
ALL L T4 ,%E />T$ 6CRY TE>S ( JOY1 :
TURN$ 96OPALS Z !Y ROLL$ D[N H] *EEKS4
  8,?ANK Y6 ,?ANK Y60 ,%E CD B>ELY BR1!4
  8,DON'T M5;N X40 ,I WAV$4 ,EV5 :5 ,I 0
A WAYS (F 9 ! =E/1 ,I CD HE> H] S+1
8,DR9K YR FILL TWICE1 MY BABY-S-NICE10 &
! CL9K+ ( JEWELS Z !Y P\R$ F H] M\?4 ,!
DELI<T$ SQU1LS ( H] BABY MADE ME LAU< TO
MYF4 ,WASN'T T BABY CUTE6 ,WASN'T T LADY
B1UTI;L6 ,I 0 ?9K+ T "S PR9CE W 4COV]
H]1 N[ T %E HAS M"OY4
  8,YAY60 CAME A VOICE4 ,! ,F4,G4 ,I'D
MET AT ,AURORA'S *RI/5+ /EPP$ \ F 2H A
ROCK1 APPLAUD+4 ,C'T ,I D ANY?+ )\T "S"O
SN1K+ UP ON ME8 8,BRAVO6 ,GIRL1 Y COM-
PLETELY B1T ME 6! PUN*6 ,HUNKY ,DORY1
ISN'T X8 ,REMEMB] ME1 ,LEMON ,DROPP+S8
,W[6 ,WELL D"O6 ,T 0 BRILLIANT6 ,I KNEW
Y 7 9 ! SI/]HOOD ! MO;T ,I SAW Y60
  8,!N Y DON'T "K M*40 ,I PU%$ PA/ H]4
8,I DIDN'T GRANT ANY WI%ES4 ,%E DIDN'T
ASK = ANY?+40
  8,OH1 DON'T 2 S MODE/6 ,Y FIGUR$ \ :AT
%E WANT$ )\T H] EV5 HAV+ 6ASK6       #GA
,T'S ! H>DE/6 ,WAIT6 ,": >E Y GO+80
  8,HOME4 ,6MY CAVE & MY CAULDRON & MY
SKATEBO>D4 ,I'M A WIT*1 ,LEMON ,DROPP+S1
L ,I TOLD Y 2F4 ,T 0 J AN EXP]I;T40
  8,"S EXP]I;T6 ,Y H&L$ X L A R1L PRO6
,": DID Y LE>N80
  ,I %RU7$4 8,J /UDI$ "S SPELL BOOKS40
  8,Y WIT*ES >E S* D-X-Y\RSELF]S6 ,W[60
  ,I _H N"E ?"\ ( X T WAY4
  8,HEY1 D Y H A WIT*'S HAT8 ,I ALW
WANT$ 6TRY ON A WIT*'S HAT40
  8,I USU,Y J WE> A B&ANNA10 ,I EXPLA9$4
8,DON'T 2LIEVE ! HYPE40
  8,OH1 WELL4 ,I'LL LET Y TRY ON MY W+S1
IF Y WANT40
  8,!Y -E (F80
  8,SURE4 ,!Y'RE J JEWELRY40 ,%E SMIL$ )
H] BIG TEE?4 8,DON'T 2LIEVE ! HYPE40 ,%E
SLIPP$ !M (F >.D H] >MS & HELD !M \ 6ME4
  8,T'S OKAY40 ,I /EPP$ BACK4 ,0 %E CRA-
ZY8 ,:AT IF "S"O %D SEE8
  8,OH4 ,WELL1 D Y WANT 6-E 0! CA/LE "S-
"T80
  ,I DIDN'T D>E 3SID] X4 8,I'VE GOT 6G10
,I SD1 TRY+ 6BE RUDE4                #GB
  8,IF Y "E *ANGE YR M9D1 W[1 T'D 2 GRT6
,I'M BOR$ \ ( MY SKULL4 ,NO?+ B BABIES &
^? 4GU/+ PETIT F\RS 6EAT4 ,I M1N1 N T
Y'D EAT BABIES4 ,HA-HA6 ,:O WD EAT A
BABY80 ,%E LOOK$ ?"\;L =A MO;T4 ,!N %E
LOOK$ .HUNGRY =A MO;T4
  8,NOBODY10 ,I REM9D$ H]4
  8,( C\RSE40 ,%E SMIL$ 9 AN OBLIGATORY
WAY4
  ,! RE/ (! WALK1 ,I FELT L ,I 0 FLOAT+4
..,D Y "K ! FEEL+ Y GET1 T />TS F YR
FEET & GOES UP YR LEGS & 96YR >MS1 & YR
F+]S FEEL PRICKLY &! HAIR />TS 6/& UP ON
! BACK ( YR NECK & X'S ALM L A FEV] & Y
FEEL L Y'RE GO+ 6BE SICK B Y N"E WANT X
6.5D8 ,A R1L ,F4,G4 SD W[6 ,GD JOB6 .,:O
.C>ES8 ,A "P ( ME *ID$4 ,B ANO!R "P ( ME
ANSW]$1 .,I .D4
  ,! ?"\ T ,I MI<T "K "S?+ T ,MISS ,H>-
B+] DOESN'T "K1 T ,MAMA & MAYBE EV5
,AUNTIE ,MALICE DOESN'T "K1 HAS ME %AK54



    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 FULL             #GC
  ,I 9T]CEPT$ ,VELVET GETT+ R1DY 6L1VE !
POISON APPLE /&4 8,-E ON10 ,I -M&$4
8,X'S "S?+ IMPORTANT40
  ,%E WIP$ H] H&S & 2GAN *ANG+ H] APRON1
HURRY+ 6JO9 ME4 8,": >E WE GO+80
  8,6GRANT WI%ES40 ,%E /OPP$ 9 H] TRACKS
& LOOK$ WIDE-EY$ AT ME1 Z IF %E DID N
D>E 6TAKE ANO!R /EP4 8,I DIDN'T S5D ^?
LRS10 ,I 9SI/$4
  8,I "K1 B ''' P >E TALK+4 ,HUNKY40
  8,IF P >E TALK+ ALR1 "!'S NO?+ 6LOSE1
IS "!8 ,I'VE GOT 6TRY4 ,! ?"\ ( X IS
/ICK+ ME L A BRAM#4 ,:AT CD X HURT TO
TRY80
  ,VELVET LOOK$ UNCOM=TA#1 B %E CALL$
OV] H] %\LD]1 8,MA4 ,I'M GO+ '''0
  8''' 6HELP ,HUNKY ) H] HOME"W10 ,I
HISS$4
  8''' 6HELP ,HUNKY ) H] HOME"W40 ,%E
SC[L$ AT ME4
  8,X'S N RE,Y A LIE10 ,I :ISP]$ W1KLY4
,/ SC[L+1 %E FOLL[$ ME 96! WOODS4
  8,-E ON1 LET'S GET X \ ( YR SY/EM10 %E
GRUM#D4 ,X DIDN'T TAKE ME L;G 6REGRET
DRA7+ ,VELVET AL;G4 ,X IS NE>LY      #GD
IMPOSSI# 6F9D "S"O :O DOESN'T RUN AWAY
:5 !Y SEE "O WIT* -+1 LET AL"O TWO4 ,AF
WE _H ! FIF? DOOR SLAMM$ 9 \R FACES1 ,I
WANT$ 6SU7E/ T WE 4GUISE \RVS1 B ,VELVET
ALR SEEM$ AW;LLY PUT \ 0! :OLE EXCUR.N S
,I DIDN'T D>E4 ,F9,Y1 ,I 0 A# 6GIVE A "Y
WOODSMAN A MU/A*E1 & ,VELVET GAVE A FLY
6A SPID]4 ,ALT1 N V SU3ESS;L 0MY E/IM,N4
,! WOODSMAN FELT H&"SR 9 8 MU/A*E1 B X
DIDN'T ACTU,Y SUIT HM4 ,S DOES T C.T8 ,Z
=! SPID]'S WI%1 ,I DON'T ?9K X 0 V NICE
=! FLY4 ,2SS1 ! SPID] DIDN'T RE,Y NE$
H]1 DID HE8 ,! ?"\ CROSS$ MY M9D T ACTU-
,Y A LOT ( WI%ES C 2 GRANT$ )\T M* MAG-
IC1 B ,I %OOK X (F4
  8,MAYBE WE %D GIVE X A RE/40 ,VELVET 0
SW1T+ & TIR$4 8,GRANT+ WI%ES IS A DRAG4
,X 9VOLVES TOO M* WALK+ & TALK+ & C>+ AB
P4 ,H"O/LY1 ,I C'T ?9K ( ANY?+ LESS SAT-
ISFY+40
  8,WELL1 Y 7 A GD FR1 6-E AL;G10 ,I (-
F]$ W1KLY4
  8,IF Y 7 A R1L FR1 Y WDN'T H ASK$ ME4
,I C'T 2LIEVE ,I GRANT$ A WI%1 EV5 AN
E5SY-WE5SY SPID] "O40                #GE
  8,T 0 H>DLY A WI% AT ALL1 ,VELVET1 Y
%DN'T FEEL TOO GDLY4 ,& IF ANY"O %D BR+
X UP '''0
  ,%E ROLL$ H] EYES & FLOPP$ D[N ON "S
MOSS4 8,IF ANY"O %D BR+ X UP1 ,I'LL PRE-
T5D ,I DON'T EV5 "K YR "N40
  ,I 0 TRY+ 6HIDE MY 4APPO9T;T T ! WON-
D];L FIZZY FEEL+ _H N RETURN$4 ,N 6M5;N
MY WORRY AB H[ L;G X WD TAKE = ,VELVET
6/OP 2+ ANGRY ) ME4
  8,MAYBE WE 7 RU%+10 ,I SU7E/$4 8,MAYBE
'''0 ,VELVET 0 SNOR+ LESS ?AN DELICATE-
LY4 ,N[ :AT 0 ,I SUPPOS$ 6D8 ,I WANT$ TO
KEEP PRACTIC+ WI%CRAFT1 B ,I 0 AFRAID TO
L1VE H] \ AL"O1 ASLEEP 9 ! OP5 ": !
WOLVES OR W&-SNAT*+ TROLLS MI<T -E ^U
H]4 ,I SAT BROOD+1 TAPP+ MY W& ON MY
KNEE & WAT*+ X SP>K1 ANXI\S 63T9UE \R
"W4 ,IMPULSIVELY1 US+ MY W& L A P51 ,I
DREW UP A W9D[ 9 ! MI4LE (! =E/ 6LOOK \
( :ILE ,VELVET SLEPT1 & *ANT$3

8,D Y "K ! K9D ( DR1M
,T Y GRASP AT ! $GES :5 "DLI<T BR1KS8
,D Y "K ! K9D ( DR1M                 #GF
,T FEELS Z DEEP Z A ?\S& LAKES8
,GIVE H] T DR1M1 ! K9D ( DR1M
,T Y N"E WANT 65D4
,MAKE ! IMPOSSI# -E 6LIFE
,= MY DE> & WICK$ FR60

  ,! %UTT]S FLEW OP5 &A SKE9 ( FABRIC T
LOOK$ L ! NI<T SKY1 ALIVE ) GLITT]+ />S1
UNRAVEL$ XF & SPR1D L A SL[-FALL+ P>A-
*UTE >.D H]4 ,I CD WAT* H] DR1M "? ! W9-
D[3 ,VELVET'S HAIR1 TWICE Z L;G & BLACK1
GREW & FELL 6H] FEET 2F MY EYES4 ,ADORN$
9 AN >MOR ( EM]ALD SCALES & TALONLIKE
:ITE F+]TIPS )A MAT*+ BONY CR[N1 %E
LOOK$ Q FE>"S & B1UTI;L AT ONCE1 WIELD+
A SCEPT] TOPP$ )A POISON APPLE4 ,:O D>$
APPROA* ? MI<TY QUE58 ,OH1 A ,*AMELEON
,PR9CE1 :O W.D 8 GRACE;L TAIL >.D H] &
UN%1!D 8 SWORD1 LIFT+ X HI< 9 H] HONOR
2F SLA%+ ! H&S (F (A CLOCK4 ,LI<TN+
FLA%$ & CL\DS ROIL$ 9 E CORN] (! SKY4
,ON R[S ( %ELVES 2H !M1 J>S FULL ( NEWTS
9 E COLOR & PATT]N SWAM 9 JOY;L CIRCLES
AT ! PROSPECT ( _! UNION4 ,WIT*ES &
ALLIGATORS SPUN >.D !M 9 3C5TRIC     #GG
CIRCLES1 BIG "OS & LL "OS1 ! WIT*ES
TURN+ SOM]SAULTS 9 _! TRIANGUL> HATS1
*E]+ & BANG+ ON CAULDRONS4 ,! SC5E 0 Z
DIZZY+ 6WAT* Z ! TURN+ (A KALEIDOSCOPE4
,:5 ,I TURN$ AWAY1 "! 0 ,VELVET1 CACKL+
9 H] SLEEP 2N ! BLANKET ( H] P]FECT
DR1M4 ..,I WANT 6GRANT .WI%ES6 ,I :ISP]$
96MY H&1 S ! TREES WDN'T HE>4 ,! WOND];L
FEEL+ FRO!D UP 9 ME AG1 & ,I BASK$ 9 !
SELFI% RELIEF ( G5]OS;Y'S SPELL4 ,L A
DR1M1 ,I DIDN'T WANT X 65D4 ,B EV5 ,VEL-
VET'S PR9CE1 = ALL ! BOLD;S ( 8 BLADE1
CD N RESCUE U F ! PASS+ H\RS1 & "T DE-
LIV]$ U H1VILY 6! 9EVITA# AWAK5+ ( :O WE
>E1 & :O WE H 6BE4

  ,:5 ,MAMA CAME 9 6SAY GD NI<T1 MY MIS-
*IEF 0 TR\BL+ ME1 S ,I ASK$ H]1 :AT K9D
( MAGIC IS DR1M+8
  8,DR1MS >E ! GRT EQUALIZ]10 ,MAMA EX-
PLA9$4 8,!Y >E :AT MAKE A POOR MAN A K+
&A RI* MAN A PAUP]1 IF ONLY =! NI<T40
  8,S1 !Y >E WI%ES80
  8,I'VE GOT 6WA% ! CAULDRONS10 ,MAMA
SD4                                  #GH

    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 LA/ QU>T]
  ,MISS ,H>B+] SD WE CD MAKE 8,J ,SAY
,NO 6,F4,G4S0 PO/]S 6DECORATE = \R GUE/1
&1 ,I DON'T "K1 ,I ?"\ T 0 K9D ( RUDE1 S
,I J DREW A BIG P9K PETIT F\R S "! WDN'T
2 ROOM =! ^WS4 ,I GOT YELL$ AT = HAV+ A
P9K CRAYON1 & ,MISS ,H>B+] CRUMPL$ !
:OLE ?+ UP & ?REW X 9 ! G>BAGE C4 ,S ,I
DID X OV] 9 PURPLE1 B ,I J DON'T ?9K X
LOOK$ Z GD4
  ,MISS ,H>B+] HAS BE5 9 A V BAD MOOD
LATELY4 ,I TOLD ,MAMA & %E SD1 8,J SEE T
Y DON'T D ANY?+ 6RAISE H] IRE40 ,I SD1
8,:AT'S AN IRE80 ,& %E SD1 8,X'S A ?+ Y
DON'T RAISE1 Y SM>T ALECK40

    ,LAMPPO/ ,MOON1 WAN+ CRESC5T
  ,I 0 EXCIT$ AB ! GUE/ SP1K]1 B GUESS
:AT8 ,9 /EPP$ ,LEMON ,DROPP+S4 ,I SLUNK
D[N 9 MY S1T & R1*$ = MY W& S T ,I CD
TURN 9VISI#1 B X WASN'T %>P5$ S ,I SD1
8,FRANTIC1 L5D ME YR W&60 ,%E /UCK H]
NOSE 9 ! AIR & SD NO1 & ,VELVET />T$
PASS+ ME "O1 B X 0 TOO LATE 2C       #GI
,LEMON ,DROPP+S 0 ALR JUMP+ UP & D[N &
WAV+ AT ME & CALL+1 8,HI1 ,HUNKY ,DORY60
F ! FRONT (! ROOM6
  ,I PRET5D$ L ,I DIDN'T SEE H] B %E
DIDN'T GIVE UP4 ,%E CALL$ \1 8,HUNKY1
X'S ME1 ,LEMON ,DROPP+S60 ,& ,I LOOK$ AT
H] L1 ( C\RSE X'S Y1 :O ELSE WD X BE8 ,&
,MISS ,H>B+] ASK$ ,LEMON ,DROPP+S1 8,Y
"K H]80 & %E ANSW]$1 8,WE'RE FRS60 ,&
,MISS ,H>B+] SD1 8,IS ? TRUE80
  ,& ,I ALM SD NO1 NO WAY1 B !N ,I LOOK$
AT ,LEMON ,DROPP+S /&+ ALL AL"O 9 H]
/UPID P9K DRESS ) BUTT]FLIES & TULIPS &
H] /UPID BUCK TEE? 9 A CAVE FULL ( /U-
PID1 /UPID1 /UPID WIT*ES1 9CLUD+ ,FRAN-
TIC ,SE>*1 :O WDN'T EV5 L5D ME H] /UPID
W&1 & ,I SD1 8,YES60 ,MISS ,H>B+] LOOK$
Z MAD Z ,I'VE "E SE5 H] & %E WALK$ "R
OV] 6ME & GRA2$ ME 0! E> & DRA7$ ME \4
  ,:5 WE 7 \TSIDE %E />T$ YELL+ AT ME1
8,S X 0 Y :O S5T ! *A9 LR60
  8,I DID N60 ,I /OMP$4
  8,OH1 ,HUNKY6 ,I'M PR\D ( Y = LY+1 B
:O ELSE CD X BE8 ,I'M S 4APPO9T$ 9 Y4 ,I
WD N"E H EXPECT$ T Y ( ALL WIT*ES    #HJ
WD 2 CAVORT+ ) S* TYRANNICAL SABOTEURS6
,Y1 :O CD H BE5 ! WICK$E/ WIT* :]"E !
F\R W9DS BL[60
  ,I W9C$4 ,I %OOK H] (F & TOLD H] T ,I
N"E _H A .*.E 6CAVORT1 & ,I REM9D$ H] T
%E WASN'T MY "M4 8,& D Y "K :AT ELSE8 ,I
?9K Y >E RACI/ AG/ FAIRY GOD"MS60 ,EV5
,I CD N 2LIEVE ,I'D SD X4
  ,%E TURN$ S :ITE %E 0 NE>LY SILV]1 &
LL /ATIC FLA%ES ( LI<TN+ CRACKL$ AT !
ROOTS ( H] HAIR4 ,%E SD %E MI<T N 2 MY
"M B %E PLANS 6TALK 6H]1 & T ,I AM N
WELCOME 9 H] CLASS UNTIL %E DOES4 ,!
WOR/ "P IS T ,I DIDN'T GET 6HE> :AT
,LEMON ,DROPP+S _H 6SAY4

  ,I WAIT$ 2H A ROCK UNTIL ,VELVET PASS$
S ,I CD ASK H] :AT HAPP5$4 ,VELVET TOLD
ME1 8,T GIRL B>ELY GOT 6SAY ANY?+4 ,MO/
(! "T 0 SP5T PULL+ H] HAIR & P9*+ H] UN-
TIL %E GOT F$ UP & BIT ,FRANTIC ) H]
WONKY TEE? & !N "EY"O *E]$4 ,!N ,MISS
,H>B+] GOT MAD & SD X 0 ALL YR FAULT40
  8.,MY FAULT6 ,I WASN'T EV5 9 ! ROOM60
  8,%E SD IF Y _HN'T KEPT BO!R+ H]   #HA
AB ! TOPIC %E N"E WD H PURSU$ X = \R $I-
FIC,N4 ,%E SD Y >E A CORRUPT+ =CE1 EV5 =
WIT*ES4 ,I DON'T "K H[ Y C G BACK "!1
,HUNKY4 ,Y'RE 9 AN AW;L LOT ( TR\#40
  ,I DIDN'T M1N 6BE A ''' 4APPO9T;T4 ,I
GUESS DEEP D[N ,I KNEW ,I CD N"E 2 !
WIT* !Y WANT$ ME 6BE4
  8,DON'T DROP \10 ,VELVET BE7$4 8,IF Y
D1 ,FRANTIC ,SE>* W 2 AT ! H1D (!
CLASS40
  8,I C'T HELP X4 ,X'S :O ,I AM4 ,I'M N
TRY+ 6BE "O ?+ OR ANO!R4 ,I'M J TRY+ 6BE
MYF4 ,& X TURNS \ :AT ,I AM IS DI6]5T F
"EYBODY ELSE40 ,I FELT MYF GULP+ S H>D T
=A MO;T1 ALL ,I CD D 0 %RUG4 8,I DON'T
WANT 6*OOSE1 ,I DON'T WANT A LABEL1 ,I
DON'T WANT A R1SON = P N 6BE MY FR4 ,B
,I C'T PRET5D N 6"K :AT ,I "K4 ,& ,I C'T
PRET5D X ISN'T IMPORTANT40
  ,VELVET /OOD "! ) H] M\? AGAPE1 & !N
%E CLOS$ X & BIT H] LIP4 8,WELL1 IF Y >E
GO+ 6L1VE U 6BE AN ,F4,G4--0 ,%E LOOK$
AT ME /RAI<T 9 ! EYE4 8,DON'T J 2 ANY
,F4,G4 ,2 ! BE/ "O4 ,! "O "EY"O W TALK
AB = YE>S40                          #HB
  ,I SMIL$ AT ,VELVET & TOLD H] 6OP5 H]
H&4 ,:5 %E DID1 "! 0 A GRE5 NEWT 9 X4
,%E PULL$ (F ! NEWT'S TAIL & H&$ X 6ME Z
A SYMBOL ( H] LOYALTY4 ,!N %E BUR/ \
CRY+ & RAN HOME )\T EV5 LOOK+ BACK4
  ,VELVET IS A BIG BABY4 ,X MADE ME CRY1
TOO1 ?9K+ :AT A BIG BABY %E IS4 ,N ! P9K
PETIT-F\R K9D1 EI4