,,! ,,ABSOLUTELY ,,TRUE ,,DI>Y
         ,,( ,A ,,"P-"T ,,9DIAN

            0,,%]MAN ,,ALEXIE

      ,PUBLI%$ 0,LL1 ,BR[N & ,-PANY
            ,NEW ,YORK1 ,,NY
    ,COPY"R ^C #BJJG 0,%]MAN ,ALEXIE
   ,FUR!R REPRODUC;N OR 4TRIBU;N 9 O!R
   ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4
             ,TRANSCRIP;N (
     ,,ISBN-#AC3 #IGH-J-CAF-JACFH-J
       ,,ISBN-#AJ3 #J-CAF-JACFH-D
      ,TRANSCRIB$ 9 ,5GLI% ,BRL BY
           ,NANCY ,BAIRD ,BR[N
          ,"EGRE5 ,BRL ,S]VICE
            ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON
             ,9 #C ,VOLUMES
               ,VOLUME #A
        ,PAGES ;I-;VIII & #A-AJJ

          ,"U ! ,SPONSOR%IP (
  ,WA%+TON ,TALK+ ,BOOK @& ,BRL ,LIBR>Y
            ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON
                  #BJJI
                                     ;II
























       ,,SPECIAL ,,SYMBOLS ,,US$    ;III
            ,,9 ,,? ,,VOLUME

^C COPY"R SYMBOL
@& AMP]S&
_/ SLA%
@ 7#D7 A35T M>K
,' 7#F1 #C7 T]M9,N SIGN

















                                     ;IV
























                                      ;V









              ,= ,WELLP9IT
                   &
                ,RE>DAN1
              MY HOMET[NS











                                     ;VI
























                                    ;VII








                 ,"! IS
                ANO!R _W1
             B X IS 9 ? "O4
                 ,W4 ,B4 ,Y1TS












                                   ;VIII
























     ,,! ,,ABSOLUTELY ,,TRUE ,,DI>Y   #A
         ,,( ,A ,,"P-"T ,,9DIAN

     ,! ,BLACK-,EYE-(-!-,MON? ,CLUB

  ,I 0 BORN ) WAT] ON ! BRA94
  ,OKAY1 S T'S N EXACTLY TRUE4 ,I 0 AC-
TU,Y BORN ) TOO M* C]EBRAL SP9AL FLUID
9SIDE MY SKULL4 ,B C]EBRAL SP9AL FLUID
IS J ! DOCTORS' FANCY WAY ( SAY+ BRA9
GR1SE4 ,& BRA9 GR1SE "WS 9SIDE ! LOBES L
C> GR1SE "WS 9SIDE AN 5G9E4 ,X KEEPS ?+S
RUNN+ SMOO? & FA/4 ,B WEIRDO ME1 ,I 0
BORN ) TOO M* GR1SE 9SIDE MY SKULL1 & X
GOT ALL ?ICK & MU4Y & 4GU/+1 & X ONLY
MUCK$ UP ! "WS4 ,MY ?9K+ & BR1?+ & LIV+
5G9E SL[$ D[N & FLOOD$4
  ,MY BRA9 0 DR[N+ 9 GR1SE4
  ,B T MAKES ! :OLE ?+ S.D WEIRDO & FUN-
NY1 L MY BRA9 0 A GIANT ,FR5* FRY1 S X
SEEMS M S]I\S & POETIC & A3URATE 6SAY1
8,I 0 BORN ) WAT] ON ! BRA940
  ,OKAY1 S MAYBE T'S N A V S]I\S WAY TO
SAY X1 EI4 ,MAYBE ! :OLE ?+ .IS WEIRD &
FUNNY4
  ,B JEEZ1 DID MY "M & "F & BIG       #B
SI/] & GR&MA & C\S9S & AUNTS & UNCLES
?9K X 0 FUNNY :5 ! DOCTORS CUT OP5 MY LL
SKULL & SUCK$ \ ALL T EXTRA WAT] ) "S
T9Y VACUUM8
  ,I 0 ONLY SIX MON?S OLD & ,I 0 SUPPOS$
6CROAK DUR+ ! SURG]Y4 ,& EV5 IF ,I "SH[
SURVIV$ ! M9I-,HOOV]1 ,I 0 SUPPOS$ 6SU6]
S]I\S BRA9 DAMAGE DUR+ ! PROC$URE & LIVE
! RE/ ( MY LIFE Z A VEGETA#4
  ,WELL1 ,I OBVI\SLY SURVIV$ ! SURG]Y4
,I WDN'T 2 WRIT+ ? IF ,I DIDN'T1 B ,I H
ALL SORTS ( PHYSICAL PRO#MS T >E DIRECT-
LY ! RESULT ( MY BRA9 DAMAGE4
  ,F/ ( ALL1 ,I 5D$ UP HAV+ =TY-TWO
TEE?4 ,! TYPICAL HUMAN HAS ?IRTY-TWO1
"R8 ,B ,I _H =TY-TWO4
  ,T5 M ?AN USUAL4
  ,T5 M ?AN NORMAL4
  ,T5 TEE? PA/ HUMAN4
  ,MY TEE? GOT S CR[D$ T ,I CD B>ELY
CLOSE MY M\?4 ,I W5T 6,9DIAN ,H1L? ,S]-
VICE 6GET "S TEE? PULL$ S ,I CD EAT NOR-
M,Y1 N L "S SLO2]+ VULTURE4 ,B ! ,9DIAN
,H1L? ,S]VICE FUND$ MAJOR D5TAL "W ONLY
ONCE A YE>1 S ,I _H 6H ALL T5 EXTRA   #C
TEE? PULL$ .9 ."O ."D4
  ,& :AT'S M1 \R :ITE D5TI/ 2LIEV$ T
,9DIANS ONLY FELT HALF Z M* PA9 Z :ITE P
DID1 S HE ONLY GAVE U HALF ! ,NOVOCA94
  ,:AT A BA/>D1 HUH8
  ,9DIAN ,H1L? ,S]VICE AL FUND$ EYEGLASS
PUR*ASES ONLY ONCE A YE> & (F]$ "O /YLE3
^? UGLY1 ?ICK1 BLACK PLA/IC "OS4
  ,MY BRA9 DAMAGE LEFT ME NE>SI<T$ 9 "O
EYE & F>SI<T$ 9 ! O!R1 S MY UGLY GLASSES
7 ALL LOPSID$ 2C MY EYES 7 S LOPSID$4
  ,I GET H1DA*ES 2C MY EYES >E1 L1 5E-
MIES1 Y "K1 L !Y US$ 6BE M>RI$ 6EA* O!R
B N[ HATE EA* O!R'S GUTS4
  ,& ,I />T$ WE>+ GLASSES :5 ,I 0 ?REE1
S ,I RAN >.D ! REZ LOOK+ L A ?REE-YE>-
OLD ,9DIAN .GR&PA4
  ,&1 OH1 ,I 0 SK9NY4 ,I'D TURN SIDEWAYS
& .4APPE>4
  ,B MY H&S & FEET 7 HUGE4 ,MY FEET 7 A
SIZE ELEV5 9 ?IRD GRADE6 ,) MY BIG FEET
& P5CIL BODY1 ,I LOOK$ L A CAPITAL ;,L
WALK+ D[N ! ROAD4
  ,& MY SKULL 0 ENORM\S4
  ,EPIC4                              #D
  ,MY H1D 0 S BIG T LL ,9DIAN SKULLS OR-
BIT$ >.D X4 ,"S (! KIDS CALL$ ME ,ORBIT4
,& O!R KIDS J CALL$ ME ,GLOBE4 ,! BUL-
LIES WD PICK ME UP1 SP9 ME 9 CIRCLES1
PUT _! F+] D[N ON MY SKULL1 & SAY1 8,I
WANT 6G "!40
  ,S OBVI\SLY1 ,I LOOK$ GO(Y ON ! \T-
SIDE1 B X 0 ! .9SIDE /UFF T 0 ! WOR/4
  ,F/ ( ALL1 ,I _H SEIZURES4 ,AT L1/ TWO
A WEEK4 ,S ,I 0 DAMAG+ MY BRA9 ON A REG-
UL> BASIS4 ,B ! ?+ IS1 ,I 0 HAV+ ^? SEI-
ZURES 2C ,I .ALR _H BRA9 DAMAGE1 S ,I 0
REOP5+ W.DS EA* "T ,I SEIZ$4
  ,YEP1 :5"E ,I _H A SEIZURE1 ,I 0 .DAM-
AG+ .MY .DAMAGE4
  ,I HAV5'T _H A SEIZURE 9 SEV5 YE>S1 B
! DOCTORS TELL ME T ,I AM 8SUSCEPTI# TO
SEIZURE ACTIV;Y40
  ..,SUSCEPTI# 6SEIZURE .ACTIV;Y4
  ,DOESN'T T J ROLL (F ! T;GUE L POETRY8
  ,I AL _H A /UTT] &A LISP4 ,OR MAYBE ,I
%D SAY ,I _H A /-/-/-/-/UTT] &A
LISSSSSSSS????P4
  ,Y WDN'T ?9K "! IS ANY?+ LIFE ?R1T5+
AB SPEE* IMP$I;TS1 B LET ME TELL Y1   #E
"! IS NO?+ M DANG]\S ?AN 2+ A KID )A
/UTT] &A LISP4
  ,A FIVE-YE>-OLD IS CUTE :5 HE LISPS &
/UTT]S4 ,HECK1 MO/ (! BIG-"T KID ACTORS
/UTT]$ & LISP$ _! WAY 6/>DOM4
  ,& JEEZ1 Y'RE / FAIRLY CUTE :5 Y'RE A
/UTT]+ & LISP+ SIX-1 SEV5-1 & EI<T-YE>-
OLD1 B X'S ALL OV] :5 Y TURN N9E & T54
  ,AF T1 YR /UTT] & LISP TURN Y 96A RE-
T>D4
  ,& IF Y'RE F\RTE5 YE>S OLD1 L ME1 &
Y'RE / /UTT]+ & LISP+1 !N Y 2COME ! BIG-
GE/ RET>D 9 ! _W4
  ,"EYBODY ON ! REZ CALLS ME A RET>D AB
TWICE A "D4 ,!Y CALL ME RET>D :5 !Y >E
PANTS+ ME OR /U6+ MY H1D 9 ! TOILET OR J
SMACK+ ME UPSIDE ! H1D4
  ,I'M N EV5 WRIT+ D[N ? /ORY ! WAY ,I
ACTU,Y TALK1 2C ,I'D H 6FILL X ) /UTT]S
& LISPS1 & !N Y'D 2 WOND]+ :Y Y'RE R1D+
A /ORY WRITT5 0.S* .A .RET>D4
  ,D Y "K :AT HAPP5S 6RET>DS ON ! REZ8
  ,WE GET B1T UP4
  ,AT L1/ ONCE A MON?4
  ,YEP1 ,I 2L;G 6! ,BLACK-,EYE-(-!-   #F
,MON? ,CLUB4
  ,SURE ,I WANT 6G \TSIDE4 ,E KID WANTS
6G \TSIDE4 ,B X'S SAF] 6/AY AT HOME4 ,S
,I MO/LY HANG \ AL"O 9 MY B$ROOM & R1D
BOOKS & DRAW C>TOONS4
  ,"H'S "O ( ME3
      ,'N %[N,'
  ,I DRAW ALL ! "T4
  ,I DRAW C>TOONS ( MY "M & "F2 MY SI/]
& GR&"M2 MY BE/ FR1 ,R[DY2 & "EYBODY
ELSE ON ! REZ4
  ,I DRAW 2C ^WS >E TOO UNPREDICTA#4
  ,I DRAW 2C ^WS >E TOO LIMIT$4
  ,IF Y SP1K & WRITE 9 ,5GLI%1 OR ,SPAN-
I%1 OR ,*9ESE1 OR ANY O!R LANGUAGE1 !N
ONLY A C]TA9 P]C5TAGE ( HUMAN 2+S W GET
YR M1N+4
  ,B :5 Y DRAW A PICTURE1 "EYBODY C "U/&
X4
  ,IF ,I DRAW A C>TOON (A FL[]1 !N E
MAN1 WOMAN1 & * 9 ! _W C LOOK AT X &
SAY1 8,T'S A FL[]40
  ,S ,I DRAW 2C ,I WANT 6TALK 6! _W4 ,&
,I WANT ! _W 6PAY ATT5;N 6ME4
  ,I FEEL IMPORTANT )A P5 9 MY H&4    #G
,I FEEL L ,I MI<T GR[ UP 6BE "SBODY IM-
PORTANT4 ,AN >TI/4 ,MAYBE A FAM\S >TI/4
,MAYBE A RI* >TI/4
  ,T'S ! ONLY WAY ,I C 2COME RI* & FA-
M\S4
  ,J TAKE A LOOK AT ! _W4 ,ALM ALL (!
RI* & FAM\S BR[N P >E >TI/S4 ,!Y'RE S+]S
& ACTORS & WRIT]S & D.ERS & DIRECTORS &
POETS4
  ,S ,I DRAW 2C ,I FEEL L X MI<T 2 MY
ONLY R1L *.E 6ESCAPE ! RES]V,N4
  ,I ?9K ! _W IS A S]IES ( BROK5 DAMS &
FLOODS1 & MY C>TOONS >E T9Y LL LIFE-
BOATS4










                                      #H
























      ,:Y ,*ICK5 ,M1NS ,S ,M* 6,ME    #I

  ,OKAY1 S N[ Y "K T ,I'M A C>TOONI/4 ,&
,I ?9K ,I'M PRETTY GD AT X1 TOO4 ,B NO
MATT] H[ GD ,I AM1 MY C>TOONS W N"E TAKE
! PLACE ( FOOD OR M"OY4 ,I WI% ,I CD
DRAW A P1NUT BUTT] & JELLY S&WI*1 OR A
FI/ FULL ( TW5TY DOLL> BILLS1 & P]=M "S
MAGIC TRICK & MAKE X R1L4 ,B ,I C'T D T4
,NOBODY C D T1 N EV5 ! HUNGRIE/ MAGICIAN
9 ! _W4
  ,I WI% ,I 7 MAGICAL1 B ,I AM RE,Y J A
POOR-ASS RES]V,N KID LIV+ ) 8 POOR-ASS
FAMILY ON ! POOR-ASS ,SPOKANE ,9DIAN
,RES]V,N4
  ,D Y "K ! WOR/ ?+ AB 2+ POOR8 ,OH1
MAYBE Y'VE D"O ! MA? 9 YR H1D & Y FIG-
URE3

             ,POV]TY EQUALS
           EMPTY REFRIG]ATOR
            PLUS EMPTY /OMA*

,& SURE1 "S"TS1 MY FAMILY MISSES A
M1L1 & SLEEP IS ! ONLY ?+ WE H = D9N]1 B
,I "K T1 SOON] OR LAT]1 MY P>5TS W   #AJ
-E BUR/+ "? ! DOOR )A BUCKET ( ,K5TUCKY
,FRI$ ,*ICK54
  ,ORIG9AL ,RECIPE4
  ,& HEY1 9 A WEIRD WAY1 2+ HUNGRY MAKES
FOOD TA/E BETT]4 ,"! IS NO?+ BETT] ?AN A
*ICK5 LEG :5 Y HAV5'T EAT5 = 7APPROXI-
MATELY7 EI<TE5-&-A-HALF H\RS4 ,& 2LIEVE
ME1 A GD PIECE ( *ICK5 C MAKE ANYBODY
2LIEVE 9 ! EXI/;E ( ,GOD4
  ,S HUNG] IS N ! WOR/ ?+ AB 2+ POOR4
  ,& N[ ,I'M SURE Y'RE ASK+1 8,OKAY1
OKAY1 ,MR4 ,HUNG] ,>TI/1 ,MR4 ,M\?-
,FULL-(-,^WS1 ,MR4 ,WOE-,IS-,ME1 ,MR4
,SECRET ,RECIPE1 :AT IS ! WOR/ ?+ AB 2+
POOR80
  ,S1 OKAY1 ,I'LL TELL Y ! WOR/ ?+4
  ,LA/ WEEK1 MY BE/ FR ,OSC> GOT RE,Y
SICK4
  ,AT F/1 ,I ?"\ HE J _H H1T EXHAUS;N OR
"S?+4 ,I M1N1 X 0 A CRAZY-HOT ,JULY "D
7#AJB DEGREES ) #IJ P]C5T HUMID;Y71 &
PL5TY ( P 7 FALL+ OV] F H1T EXHAUS;N1 S
:Y N A LL DOG WE>+ A FUR COAT8
  ,I TRI$ 6GIVE HM "S WAT]1 B HE DIDN'T
WANT ANY ( T4                        #AA
  ,HE 0 LY+ ON 8 B$ ) R$1 WAT]Y1 SNOTTY
EYES4 ,HE :IMP]$ 9 PA94 ,:5 ,I T\*$ HM1
HE YELP$ L CRAZY4
  ,X 0 L 8 N]VES 7 POK+ \ ?REE 9*ES F 8
SK94
  ,I FIGUR$ HE'D 2 OKAY ) "S RE/1 B !N
HE />T$ VOMIT+1 & DI>RHEA BLA/$ \ ( HM1
& HE _H ^! SEIZURES ": 8 LL LEGS J KICK$
& KICK$ & KICK$4
  ,& SURE1 ,OSC> 0 ONLY AN ADOPT$ /RAY
MUTT1 B HE 0 ! ONLY LIV+ ?+ T ,I CD DE-
P5D ON4 ,HE 0 M DEP5DA# ?AN MY P>5TS1
GR&"M1 AUNTS1 UNCLES1 C\S9S1 & BIG SI/]4
,HE TAU<T ME M ?AN ANY T1*]S "E DID4
  ,H"O/LY1 ,OSC> 0 A BETT] P]SON ?AN ANY
HUMAN ,I _H "E "KN4
  8,MOM10 ,I SD4 8,WE H 6TAKE ,OSC> 6!
VET40
  8,HE'LL 2 ALL "R10 %E SD4
  ,B %E 0 .LY+4 ,H] EYES ALW GOT D>K] 9
! MI4LE :5 %E LI$4 ,%E 0 A ,SPOKANE ,IN-
DIAN &A BAD LI>1 : DIDN'T MAKE ANY S5SE4
,WE ,9DIANS RE,Y %D 2 BETT] LI>S1 3SID]+
H[ (T5 WE'VE BE5 LI$ TO4
  8,HE'S RE,Y SICK1 ,MOM10 ,I SD4    #AB
8,HE'S GO+ 6DIE IF WE DON'T TAKE HM 6!
DOCTOR40
  ,%E LOOK$ H>D AT ME4 ,& H] EYES W]5'T
D>K ANYMORE1 S ,I KNEW T %E 0 GO+ 6TELL
ME ! TRU?4 ,& TRU/ ME1 "! >E "TS :5 !
.LA/ .?+ Y WANT 6HE> IS ! TRU?4
  8,JUNIOR1 SWEETHE>T10 ,MOM SD4 8,I'M
SORRY1 B WE DON'T H ANY M"OY = ,OSC>40
  8,I'LL PAY Y BACK10 ,I SD4 8,I PROM-
ISE40
  8,H"OY1 X'LL CO/ HUNDR$S ( DOLL>S1
MAYBE A ?\S&40
  8,I'LL PAY BACK ! DOCTOR4 ,I'LL GET A
JOB40
  ,MOM SMIL$ ALL SAD & HU7$ ME H>D4
  ,JEEZ1 H[ /UPID 0 ,I8 ,:AT K9D ( JOB C
A RES]V,N ,9DIAN BOY GET8 ,I 0 TOO "Y TO
D1L BLACKJACK AT ! CAS9O1 "! 7 ONLY AB
FIFTE5 GRE5 GRASS LAWNS ON ! RES]V,N 7&
N"O ( _! [N]S \TS\RC$ ! M[+ JOBS71 &!
ONLY PAP] R\TE 0 [N$ 0A TRIBAL ELD] "ND
,W,Y4 ,& HE _H 6DELIV] ONLY FIFTY PAP]S1
S 8 JOB 0 M L A HO2Y4
  ,"! 0 NO?+ ,I CD D 6SAVE ,OSC>4
  ,NO?+4                             #AC
  ,NO?+4
  ,NO?+4
  ,S ,I LAY D[N ON ! FLOOR 2S HM & PATT$
8 H1D & :ISP]$ 8 "N .= .H\RS4
  ,!N ,DAD CAME HOME F .:]"E & _H "O (
^? L;G TALKS ) ,MOM1 & !Y DECID$ "S?+
.)\T .ME4
  ,& !N ,DAD PULL$ D[N 8 RIFLE & BULLETS
F ! CLOSET4
  8,JUNIOR10 HE SD4 8,C>RY ,OSC> \T-
SIDE40
  8,NO60 ,I SCR1M$4
  8,HE'S SU6]+10 ,DAD SD4 8,WE H 6HELP
HM40
  8,Y C'T D X60 ,I %\T$4
  ,I WANT$ 6PUN* MY DAD 9 ! FACE4 ,I
WANT$ 6PUN* HM 9 ! NOSE & MAKE HM BLE$4
,I WANT$ 6PUN* HM 9 ! EYE & MAKE HM BL4
,I WANT$ 6KICK HM 9 ! BALLS & MAKE HM
PASS \4
  ,I 0 HOT MAD4 ,VOLCANO MAD4 ,TSUNAMI
MAD4
  ,DAD J LOOK$ D[N AT ME )! SA4E/ LOOK 9
8 EYES4 ,HE 0 CRY+4 ,HE LOOK$ .W1K4
  ,I WANT$ 6HATE HM = 8 W1K;S4       #AD
  ,I WANT$ 6HATE ,DAD & ,MOM = \R POV]-
TY4
  ,I WANT$ 6BLAME !M = MY SICK DOG &=
ALL ! O!R SICK;S 9 ! _W4
  ,B ,I C'T BLAME MY P>5TS = \R POV]TY
2C MY "M & "F >E ! TW9 SUNS >.D : ,I OR-
BIT & MY _W WD ,,EXPLODE )\T !M4
  ,& X'S N L MY "M & "F 7 BORN 96W1L?4
,X'S N L !Y GAM#D AWAY _! FAMILY =TUNES4
,MY P>5TS CAME F POOR P :O CAME F POOR P
:O CAME F POOR P1 ALL ! WAY BACK 6! V F/
POOR P4
  ,ADAM & ,EVE COV]$ _! PRIVATES ) FIG
L1VES2 ! F/ ,9DIANS COV]$ _! PRIVATES
..) _! T9Y .H&S4
  ,S]I\SLY1 ,I "K MY "M & "F _H _! DR1MS
:5 !Y 7 KIDS4 ,!Y DR1M$ AB 2+ "S?+ O!R
?AN POOR1 B !Y N"E GOT ! *.E 6BE ANY?+
2C NOBODY PD ATT5;N 6_! DR1MS4
  ,GIV5 ! *.E1 MY "M WD H G"O 6COLLEGE4
  ,%E / R1DS BOOKS L CRAZY4 ,%E BUYS !M
0! P.D4 ,& %E REMEMB]S "EY?+ %E R1DS4
,%E C RECITE :OLE PAGES 0MEMORY4 ,%E'S A
HUMAN TAPE RECORD]4 ,RE,Y1 MY MOM C R1D
! NEWSPAP] 9 FIFTE5 M9UTES & TELL    #AE
ME BASEBALL SCORES1 ! LOC,N ( E W>1 !
LATE/ GUY 6W9 ! ,LOTT]Y1 &! HI< TEMP]A-
TURE 9 ,DES ,MO9ES1 ,I[A4
  ,GIV5 ! *.E1 MY "F WD H BE5 A MUSI-
CIAN4
  ,:5 HE GETS DRUNK1 HE S+S OLD C.TRY
S;GS4 ,& BLUES1 TOO4 ,& HE S.DS GD4 ,L A
PRO4 ,L HE %D 2 ON ! RADIO4 ,HE PLAYS !
GUIT> &! PIANO A LL BIT4 ,& HE HAS ? OLD
SAXOPH"O F HI< S*OOL T HE KEEPS ALL CL1N
& %9Y1 L HE'S GO+ 6JO9 A B& AT ANY MO;T4
      ,DRAW+3 ,:O ,MY ,P>5TS ,WD ,H ,BE5
    ,IF ,"SBODY ,_H ,PD ,ATT5;N ,6,_!
    ,DR1MS3
      ,"M3 ,SPOKANE ,FALLS ,-MUN;Y ,COL-
    LEGE ,T1*] ,( ,! ,YE> #AIIB-IH2 /YL-
    I% BOB 74#EJ F ,VIDAL ,SASSOON672
    9TELLECTUAL GLASSES 7RAISE YR ,,IQ
    0#BJ PO9TS672 COTTON & L95 BUSI;S
    SUIT2 ,SOCIOLOGY #AJA1 ,PSY*OLOGY
    #AJB1 ,PUBLIC ,SP1K+ #AJA2 %OES FIT
    .P]FECTLY
      ,"F3 ,! ,FIF?-,BE/ ,JAZZ ,SAX
    ,PLAY] ,WE/ ,( ,! ,MISSISSIPPI2 COOL
    HAT2 SUNGLASSES2 :ITE DRESS      #AF
    %IRT 7F ;,K-M>T1 CUZ HE LIKES 6KEEP
    X .R1L72 H.DSTOO? PANTS 7AU!NTIC V9-
    TAGE1 PUR*AS$ ON E,BAY72 %9Y BLACK
    BOOTS 7A SIZE TOO SMALL B WORN BY
    ,MILES ,DAVIS67
  ,B WE RES]V,N ,9DIANS DON'T GET 6R1L-
IZE \R DR1MS4 ,WE DON'T GET ^? *.ES4 ,OR
*OICES4 ,WE'RE J POOR4 ,T'S ALL WE >E4
  ,X SUCKS 6BE POOR1 & X SUCKS 6FEEL T Y
"SH[ .DES]VE 6BE POOR4 ,Y />T 2LIEV+ T
Y'RE POOR 2C Y'RE /UPID & UGLY4 ,& !N Y
/>T 2LIEV+ T Y'RE /UPID & UGLY 2C Y'RE
,9DIAN4 ,& 2C Y'RE ,9DIAN Y />T 2LIEV+
Y'RE DE/9$ 6BE POOR4 ,X'S AN UGLY CIRCLE
& .."!'S NO?+ Y C D AB .X4
  ,POV]TY DOESN'T GIVE Y /R5G? OR T1* Y
LESSONS AB P]SEV].E4 ,NO1 POV]TY ONLY
T1*ES Y H[ 6BE POOR4
  ,S1 POOR & SMALL & W1K1 ,I PICK$ UP
,OSC>4 ,HE LICK$ MY FACE 2C HE LOV$ &
TRU/$ ME4 ,& ,I C>RI$ HM \ 6! LAWN1 & ,I
LAID HM D[N 2N \R GRE5 APPLE TREE4
  8,I LOVE Y1 ,OSC>10 ,I SD4
  ,HE LOOK$ AT ME & ,I SWE> 6Y T HE
"U/OOD :AT 0 HAPP5+4 ,HE KNEW :AT    #AG
,DAD 0 GO+ 6D4 ,B ,OSC> WASN'T SC>$4 ,HE
0 RELIEV$4
  ,B N ME4
  ,I RAN AWAY F "! Z FA/ Z ,I CD4
  ,I WANT$ 6RUN FA/] ?AN ! SPE$ ( S.D1 B
NOBODY1 NO MATT] H[ M* PA9 !Y'RE IN1 C
RUN T FA/4 ,S ,I HE>D ! BOOM ( MY "F'S
RIFLE :5 HE %OT MY BE/ FR4
  ,A BULLET ONLY CO/S AB TWO C5TS1 &
ANYBODY C AF=D T4














                                     #AH
























       ,REV5GE ,IS ,MY ,MI4LE ,"N    #AI

  ,AF ,OSC> DI$1 ,I 0 S DEPRESS$ T ,I
?"\ AB CRAWL+ 96A HOLE & 4APPE>+ ="E4
  ,B ,R[DY TALK$ ME \ ( X4
  8,X'S N L ANYBODY'S GO+ 6NOTICE IF Y G
AWAY10 HE SD4 8,S Y MI<T Z WELL GUT X
\40
  ,ISN'T T T\< LOVE8
  ,R[DY IS ! T\<E/ KID ON ! REZ4 ,HE IS
L;G & L1N & /R;G L A SNAKE4
  ,8 HE>T IS Z /R;G & M1N Z A SNAKE1
TOO4
  ,B HE IS MY BE/ HUMAN FR & HE C>ES AB
ME1 S HE WD ALW TELL ME ! TRU?4
  ,& HE IS "R4 ,NOBODY WD MISS ME IF ,I
0 G"O4
  ,WELL1 ,R[DY WD MISS ME1 B HE'D N"E
ADMIT T HE'D MISS ME4 ,HE IS WAY TOO T\<
= T K9D ( EMO;N4
  ,B ASIDE F ,R[DY1 & MY P>5TS & SI/] &
GR&"M1 NOBODY WD MISS ME4
  ,I AM A Z]O ON ! REZ4 ,& IF Y SUBTRACT
Z]O F Z]O1 Y / H Z]O4 ,S :AT'S ! PO9T (
SUBTRACT+ :5 ! ANSW] IS ALW ! SAME8
  ,S ,I GUT X \4                     #BJ
  ,I H TO1 ,I GUESS1 ESPECI,Y S9CE ,R[DY
IS HAV+ "O (! WOR/ SUMM]S ( 8 LIFE4
  ,8 "F IS DR9K+ H>D & ?R[+ H>D PUN*ES1
S ,R[DY & 8 "M >E ALW WALK+ >.D ) BRUIS$
& BLOODY FACES4
  8,X'S W> PA9T10 ,R[DY ALW SAYS4 8,X J
MAKES ME LOOK T\<]40
  ,& ,I SUPPOSE X DOES MAKE HM LOOK T\<-
]1 2C ,R[DY N"E TRIES 6HIDE 8 W.DS4 ,HE
WALKS >.D ! REZ )A BLACK EYE & SPLIT
LIP4
  ,? MORN+1 HE LIMP$ 96\R H\SE1 SLUMP$ 9
A *AIR1 ?REW 8 SPRA9$ KNEE UP ON ! TA#1
& SMIRK$4
  ,HE _H A B&AGE OV] 8 LEFT E>4
  8,:AT HAPP5$ 6YR H1D80 ,I ASK$4
  8,DAD SD ,I WASN'T LI/5+10 ,R[DY SD4
8,S HE GOT ALL DRUNK & TRI$ 6MAKE MY E>
A LL BI7]40
  ,MY "M & "F >E DRUNKS1 TOO1 B !Y >5'T
M1N L T4 ,N AT ALL4 ,!Y "S"TS IGNORE ME4
,"S"TS !Y YELL AT ME4 ,B !Y N"E1 "E1
N"E1 "E HIT ME4 ,I'VE N"E EV5 BE5
SPANK$4 ,RE,Y4 ,I ?9K MY "M "S"TS WANTS
6HAUL (F & GIVE ME A SLAP1 B MY "F   #BA
WON'T LET X HAPP54
  ,HE DOESN'T 2LIEVE 9 PHYSICAL PUNI%;T2
HE 2LIEVES 9 />+ S COLD AT ME T ,I TURN
96A ICE-COV]$ ICE CUBE ) AN ICY FILL+4
  ,MY H\SE IS A SAFE PLACE1 S ,R[DY
SP5DS MO/ ( 8 "T ) U4 ,X'S L HE'S A FAM-
ILY MEMB]1 AN EXTRA BRO!R & SON4
  8,Y WANT 6H1D D[N 6! P[W[80 ,R[DY
ASK$4
  8,NAH10 ,I SD4
  ,! ,SPOKANE ,TRIBE HOLDS _! ANNUAL P[-
W[ CELEBR,N OV] ! ,LABOR ,"D WEEK5D4 ,?
0 ! #ABG? ANNUAL "O1 & "! WD 2 S++1 W>
DANC+1 GAMBL+1 /ORYTELL+1 LAU<T]1 FRY
BR1D1 HAMBURG]S1 HOT DOGS1 >TS & CRAFTS1
& PL5TY ( ALCOHOLIC BRAWL+4
  ,I WANT$ NO "P ( X4
  ,OH1 ! DANC+ & S++ >E GRT4 ,B1UTI;L1 9
FACT1 B ,I'M AFRAID ( ALL ! ,9DIANS :O
>5'T D.ERS & S+]S4 ,^? RHY?M.S1 TAL5T.S1
TUNE.S ,9DIANS >E MO/ LIKELY GO+ 6GET
DRUNK & B1T ! %IT \ ( ANY AVAILA# LOS]S4
  ,& ,I AM ALW ! MO/ AVAILA# LOS]4
  8,-E ON10 ,R[DY SD4 8,I'LL PROTECT Y40
  ,HE KNEW T ,I 0 AFRAID ( GETT+     #BB
B1T UP4 ,& HE AL KNEW T HE'D PROBABLY H
6FI<T = ME4
  ,R[DY HAS PROTECT$ ME S9CE WE 7 BORN4
  ,BO? ( U 7 PU%$ 96! _W ON ,NOVEMB] #E1
#AIIB1 AT ,SACR$ ,HE>T ,HOSPITAL 9 ,SPO-
KANE4 ,I'M TWO H\RS OLD] ?AN ,R[DY4 ,I 0
BORN ALL BROK5 & TWI/$1 & HE 0 BORN MAD4
  ,HE 0 ALW CRY+ & SCR1M+ & KICK+ &
PUN*+4
  ,HE BIT 8 "M'S BR1/ :5 %E TRI$ 6NURSE
HM4 ,HE KEPT BIT+ H]1 S %E GAVE UP & F$
HM =MULA4
  ,HE RE,Y HASN'T *ANG$ M* S9CE !N4
  ,WELL1 AT F\RTE5 YE>S OLD1 X'S N L HE
RUNS >.D BIT+ WOM5'S BR1/S1 B HE DOES
PUN* & KICK & SPIT4
  ,HE GOT 96HIS F/ FI/FI<T 9 K9D]G>T54
,HE TOOK ON ?REE F/ GRAD]S DUR+ A SN[-
BALL FI<T 2C "O ( !M _H ?R[N A PIECE (
ICE4 ,R[DY PUN*$ !M \ PRETTY QKLY4
  ,& !N HE PUN*$ ! T1*] :O CAME 6/OP !
FI<T4
  ,HE DIDN'T HURT ! T1*]1 N AT ALL1 B
MAN1 LET ME TELL Y1 T T1*] 0 ANGRY4
  8,:AT'S WR;G ) Y80 HE YELL$4       #BC
  8,"EY?+60 ,R[DY YELL$ BACK4
  ,R[DY F"\ "EYBODY4
  ,HE F"\ BOYS & GIRLS4
  ,M5 & WOM54
  ,HE F"\ /RAY DOGS4
  ,HELL1 HE F"\ ! W1!R4
  ,HE'D ?R[ WILD PUN*ES AT RA94
  ,H"O/LY4
  8,-E ON1 Y WUSS10 ,R[DY SD4 8,LET'S G
6P[W[4 ,Y C'T HIDE 9 YR H\SE ="E4 ,Y'LL
TURN 96"S K9D ( TROLL OR "S?+40
  8,:AT IF "SBODY PICKS ON ME80 ,I ASK$4
  8,!N ,I'LL PICK ON !M40
  8,:AT IF "SBODY PICKS MY NOSE80 ,I
ASK$4
  8,!N ,I'LL PICK YR NOSE1 TOO10 ,R[DY
SD4
  8,Y'RE MY H]O10 ,I SD4
  8,-E 6! P[W[10 ,R[DY SD4 8,PL1SE40
  ,X'S A BIG D1L :5 ,R[DY IS POLITE4
  8,OKAY1 OKAY10 ,I SD4
  ,S ,R[DY & ,I WALK$ ! ?REE MILES 6!
P[W[ GR.DS4 ,X 0 D>K1 MAYBE EI<T O'C OR
S1 &! DRUMM]S & S+]S 7 L\D & WOND];L4
  ,I 0 EXCIT$4 ,B ,I 0 GETT+ HYPO-   #BD
!RMIC1 TOO4
  ,! ,SPOKANE ,P[W[ IS WICK$ HOT DUR+ !
"D & FREEZ+ COLD AT NI<T4
  8,I %D H WORN MY COAT10 ,I SD4
  8,T\<5 UP10 ,R[DY SD4
  8,LET'S G WAT* ! *ICK5 D.ERS40 ,I SD4
  ,I ?9K ! *ICK5 D.ERS >E COOL 2C1 WELL1
!Y D.E L *ICK5S4 ,& Y ALR "K H[ M* ,I
LOVE *ICK54
      ,DRAW+3 ,*ICK5 & *ICK5 D.ERS BO?
    H3 B1DY EYES1 A WATTLE1 USE.S W+S1 A
    BIG BELLY1 & SK9NY LEGS4
  8,? CRAP IS BOR+10 ,R[DY SD4
  8,WE'LL J WAT* =A LL :ILE10 ,I SD4 8,&
!N WE'LL G GAM# OR "S?+40
  8,OKAY10 ,R[DY SD4 ,HE IS ! ONLY P]SON
:O LI/5S 6ME4
  ,WE W1V$ \R WAY "? ! P>K$ C>S1 VANS1
,,SUV,'S1 ,,RV,'S1 PLA/IC T5TS1 & DE]-
HIDE TEPEES4
  8,HEY1 LET'S G BUY "S BOOTLEG :ISKEY10
,R[DY SD4 8,I GOT FIVE BUCKS40
  8,DON'T GET DRUNK10 ,I SD4 8,Y'LL J
GET UGLY40
  8,I'M ALR UGLY10 ,R[DY SD4         #BE
  ,HE LAU<$1 TRIPP$ OV] A T5T POLE1 &
/UM#D 96A M9IVAN4 ,HE BUMP$ 8 FACE AG/ A
W9D[ & JAMM$ 8 %\LD] AG/ ! RE>VIEW MIR-
ROR4
  ,X 0 PRETTY FUNNY1 S ,I LAU<$4
  ,T 0 A MISTAKE4
  ,R[DY GOT MAD4
  ,HE %OV$ ME 6! GR.D & ALM KICK$ ME4
,HE SWUNG 8 LEG AT ME1 B PULL$ X BACK AT
! LA/ SECOND4 ,I CD TELL HE WANT$ 6HURT
ME = LAU<+4 ,B ,I AM 8 FR1 8 BE/ FR1 8
ONLY FR4 ,HE CDN'T HURT ME4 ,S HE GRA2$
A G>BAGE SACK FILL$ ) EMPTY BE] BOTTLES
& HUCK$ X AT ! M9IVAN4
  ,GLASS BROKE "EY":4
  ,!N ,R[DY GRA2$ A %OVEL T "SBODY _H
BE5 US+ 6DIG B>BECUE HOLES & W5T AF T
VAN4 ,J B1T ! CRAP \ ( X4
  .,SMA%6 .,BOOM6 .,BAM6
  ,HE D5T$ ! DOORS & SMA%$ ! W9D[S &
KNOCK$ (F ! MIRRORS4
  ,I 0 SC>$ ( ,R[DY & ,I 0 SC>$ ( GETT+
?R[N 9 JAIL = V&ALISM1 S ,I RAN4
  ,T 0 A MISTAKE4
  ,I RAN "R 96! ,&RUSS BRO!RS'       #BF
CAMP4 ,! ,&RUSSES--,JOHN1 ,JIM1 & ,JOE--
>E ! CRUELE/ TRIPLETS 9 ! HI/ORY (! _W4
  8,HEY1 LOOK10 "O ( !M SD4 8,X'S ,HYDRO
,H1D40
  ,YEP1 ^? BA/>DS 7 MAK+ FUN ( MY BRA9
4ORD]4 ,*>M+1 HUH8
  8,NAH1 HE A9'T ,HYDRO10 SD ANO!R "O (!
BRO!RS4 8,HE'S ,HYDROG540
  ,I DON'T "K : "O SD T4 ,I CDN'T TELL
!M A"P4 ,I DECID$ 6RUN AG1 B "O ( !M
GRA2$ ME1 & %OV$ ME T[>D ANO!R BRO!R4
,ALL ?REE ( !M %OV$ ME 6& FRO4 ,!Y 7
PLAY+ CAT* ) ME4
  8,HYDROMATIC40
  8,HYDROC>BON40
  8,HYDROCRACK40
  8,HYDRODYNAMIC40
  8,HYDROELECTRIC40
  8,HYDRO-&-,L[40
  8,HYDRO-&-,SEEK40
  ,I FELL D[N4 ,"O (! BRO!RS PICK$ ME
UP1 DU/$ ME (F1 & !N KNE$ ME 9 ! BALLS4
  ,I FELL D[N AG1 HOLD+ MY T5D] CROT*1 &
TRI$ N 6SCR1M4
  ,! ,&RUSS BRO!RS LAU<$ & WALK$     #BG
AWAY4
  ,OH1 0! WAY1 DID ,I M5;N T ! ,&RUSS
TRIPLETS >E ?IRTY YE>S OLD8
  ,:AT K9D ( M5 B1T UP A F\RTE5-YE>-OLD
BOY8
  ,MAJOR-L1GUE ASSHOLES4
  ,I 0 LY+ ON ! GR.D1 HOLD+ MY NUTS Z
T5D]LY Z A SQUIRREL HOLDS 8 NUTS1 :5
,R[DY WALK$ UP4
  8,:O DID ? 6Y80 HE ASK$4
  8,! ,&RUSS BRO!RS10 ,I SD4
  8,DID !Y HIT Y 9 ! H1D80 ,R[DY ASK$4
,HE "KS T MY BRA9 IS FRAGILE4 ,IF ^?
,&RUSS BRO!RS _H PUN*$ A HOLE 9 ! AQU>I-
UM ( MY SKULL1 ,I MI<T H FLOOD$ \ ! EN-
TIRE P[W[4
  8,MY BRA9 IS F9E10 ,I SD4 8,B MY BALLS
>E DY+40
  8,I'M GO+ 6KILL ^? BA/>DS10 ,R[DY SD4
  ,( C\RSE1 ,R[DY DIDN'T KILL !M1 B WE
HID NE> ! ,&RUSS BRO!RS' CAMP UNTIL ?REE
9 ! MORN+4 ,!Y /A7]$ BACK & PASS$ \ 9 _!
T5T4 ,!N ,R[DY SNUCK IN1 %AV$ (F _! EYE-
BR[S1 & CUT (F _! BRAIDS4
  ,T'S AB ! WOR/ ?+ Y C D 6AN ,IN-   #BH
DIAN GUY4 ,X _H TAK5 !M YE>S 6GR[ _!
HAIR4 ,& ,R[DY CUT T AWAY 9 FIVE SEC-
ONDS4
  ,I LOV$ ,R[DY = DO+ T4 ,I FELT GUILTY
= LOV+ HM = T4 ,B REV5GE AL FEELS PRETTY
GD4
  ,! ,&RUSS BRO!RS N"E DID FIGURE \ :O
CUT _! EYEBR[S & HAIR4 ,R[DY />T$ A RU-
MOR T X 0 A BUN* ( ,MAKAH ,9DIANS F !
COA/ :O DID X4
  8,Y C'T TRU/ !M :ALE HUNT]S10 ,R[DY
SD4 8,!Y'LL D ANY?+40
  ,B 2F Y ?9K ,R[DY IS ONLY GD = REV5GE1
& KICK+ ! %IT \ ( M9IVANS1 RA9 DROPS1 &
P1 LET ME TELL Y "S?+ SWEET AB HM3 HE
LOVES -IC BOOKS4
  ,B N ! COOL SUP]H]O "OS L .,D>EDEVIL
OR .;,X-,M54 ,NO1 HE R1DS ! GO(Y OLD
"OS1 L .,RI*IE .,RI* & .,>*IE & ..,CASP]
! ,FRLY .,<O/4 ,KID /UFF4 ,HE KEEPS !M
HI45 9 A HOLE 9 ! WALL ( 8 B$ROOM CLOS-
ET4 ,ALM E "D1 ,I'LL H1D OV] 6HIS H\SE &
WE'LL R1D ^? -ICS TGR4
  ,R[DY ISN'T A FA/ R1D]1 B HE'S
P]SI/5T4 ,& HE'LL J LAU< & LAU< AT   #BI
! DUMB JOKES1 NO MATT] H[ _M "TS HE'S
R1D ! SAME -IC4
      ,DRAW+3 ,,R[DY &! LATE/ ISSUE (
    ,CASP] ! ,FRLY ,<O/4 ,HE HATES X :5
    ,I DRAW HM6 .,N"E LETS ME F9I%4 ,R[-
    DY SAYS3 8,:AT >E Y DRAW+80
  ,I L ! S.D ( ,R[DY'S LAU<T]4 ,I DON'T
HE> X V (T51 B X'S ALW SORT ( ? AVALAN*E
( HA-HA & HO-HO & HEE-HEE4
  ,I L 6MAKE HM LAU<4 ,HE LOVES MY C>-
TOONS4
  ,HE'S A BIG1 GO(Y DR1M]1 TOO1 J L ME4
,HE LIKES 6PRET5D HE LIVES 9SIDE ! -IC
BOOKS4 ,I GUESS A FAKE LIFE 9SIDE A C>-
TOON IS A LOT BETT] ?AN 8 R1L LIFE4
  ,S ,I DRAW C>TOONS 6MAKE HM HAPPY1 TO
GIVE HM O!R _WS 6LIVE 9SIDE4
  ,I DRAW 8 DR1MS4
  ,& HE ONLY TALKS AB 8 DR1MS ) ME4 ,&
,I ONLY TALK AB MY DR1MS ) HM4
  ,I TELL HM AB MY FE>S4
  ,I ?9K ,R[DY MI<T 2 ! MO/ IMPORTANT
P]SON 9 MY LIFE4 ,MAYBE M IMPORTANT ?AN
MY FAMILY4 ,C YR BE/ FR 2 M IMPORTANT
?AN YR FAMILY8                       #CJ
  ,I ?9K S4
  ,I M1N1 AF ALL1 ,I SP5D A LOT M "T )
,R[DY ?AN ,I D ) ANY"O ELSE4
  ,LET'S D ! MA?4
  ,I FIGURE ,R[DY & ,I H SP5T AN AV]AGE
( EI<T H\RS A "D TGR =! LA/ F\RTE5 YE>S4
  ,T'S EI<T H\RS "TS #CFE "DS "TS F\RTE5
YE>S4
  ,S T M1NS ,R[DY & ,I H SP5T #DJ1HHJ
H\RS 9 EA* O!R'S -PANY4
  ,NOBODY ELSE -ES ANY": CLOSE 6T4
  ,TRU/ ME4
  ,R[DY & ,I >E 9SEP>A#4











         ,2C ,GEOMETRY ,IS ,N A      #CA
         ,C.TRY ,"S": ,NE> ,FR.E

  ,I 0 F\RTE5 & X 0 MY F/ "D ( HI<
S*OOL4 ,I 0 HAPPY AB T4 ,& ,I 0 MO/ ES-
PECI,Y EXCIT$ AB MY F/ GEOMETRY CLASS4
  ,YEP1 ,I H 6ADMIT T ISOSCELES TRIAN-
GLES MAKE ME FEEL .HORMONAL4
  ,MO/ GUYS1 NO MATT] :AT AGE1 GET EX-
CIT$ AB CURVES & CIRCLES1 B N ME4 ,DON'T
GET ME WR;G4 ,I L GIRLS & _! CURVES4 ,&
,I RE,Y L WOM5 & _! CURVI] CURVES4
  ,I SP5D .H\RS 9 ! BA?ROOM )A MAGAZ9E T
HAS "O ?\S& PICTURES ( NAK$ MOVIE />S3

              ,NAK$ WOMAN
               PLUS "R H&
       EQUALS HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

  ,YEP1 T'S "R1 ,I ADMIT T ,I MA/URBATE4
  ,I'M PR\D ( X4
  ,I'M GD AT X4
  ,I'M AMBIDEXTR\S4
  ,IF "! 7 A ,PROFES.NAL ,MA/URBATORS
,L1GUE1 ,I'D GET DRAFT$ NUMB] "O & MAKE
MILLIONS ( DOLL>S4                   #CB
  ,& MAYBE Y'RE ?9K+1 8,WELL1 Y RE,Y
%DN'T 2 TALK+ AB MA/URB,N 9 PUBLIC40
  ,WELL1 T\<1 ,I'M GO+ 6TALK AB X 2C
,,"EYBODY DOES X4 ,& ,,"EYBODY LIKES X4
  ,& IF ,GOD _HN'T WANT$ U 6MA/URBATE1
!N ,GOD WDN'T H GIV5 U ?UMBS4
  ,S ,I ?ANK ,GOD = MY ?UMBS4
  ,B1 ! ?+ IS1 NO MATT] H[ M* "T MY
?UMBS & ,I SP5D )! CURVES ( IMAG9>Y WOM-
EN1 ,I AM M* M 9 LOVE )! "R ANGLES (
BUILD+S4
  ,:5 ,I 0 A BABY1 ,I'D CRAWL "U MY B$ &
SNU7LE 96A CORN] 6SLEEP4 ,I J FELT W>M &
SAFE L1N+ 96TWO WALLS AT ! SAME "T4
  ,:5 ,I 0 EI<T1 N9E1 & T51 ,I SLEPT 9
MY B$ROOM CLOSET )! DOOR CLOS$4 ,I ONLY
/OPP$ DO+ T 2C MY BIG SI/]1 ,M>Y1 TOLD
ME T ,I 0 J TRY+ 6F9D MY WAY BACK 96MY
"M'S WOMB4
  ,T RU9$ ! :OLE CLOSET ?+4
  ,DON'T GET ME WR;G4 ,I DON'T H ANY?+
AG/ MY "M'S WOMB4 ,I 0 BUILT 9 "!1 AF
ALL4 ,S ,I H 6SAY T ,I AM PRO-WOMB4 ,B
,I H Z]O 9T]E/ 9 MOV+ BACK HOME1 S TO
SP1K4                                #CC
  ,MY SI/] IS GD AT RU9+ ?+S4
  ,AF HI< S*OOL1 MY SI/] J FROZE4
,DIDN'T G 6COLLEGE1 DIDN'T GET A JOB4
,DIDN'T D ANY?+4 ,K9D ( SAD1 ,I GUESS4
,B %E IS AL B1UTI;L & /R;G & FUNNY4 ,%E
IS ! PRETTIE/ & /R;GE/ & FUNNIE/ P]SON
:O "E SP5T TW5TY-?REE H\RS A "D AL"O 9 A
BASE;T4
  ,%E IS S CRAZY & R&OM T WE CALL H]
,M>Y ,RUNS ,AWAY4 ,I'M N L H] AT ALL4 ,I
AM /1DY4 ,I'M EXCIT$ AB LIFE4
      ,DRAW+3 ,,M>Y ,,RUNS ,,AWAY3 LOOKS
    L ,J5NIF] ,LOPEZ 7IF ,J4 ,LO 0 SM>T-
    ]72 ACNE SC>S T "SH[ MAKE H] LOOK
    T\< & PRETTY AT ! SAME "T2 LI<T5+-
    BOLT TATTOO ON ! BACK ( H] NECK2
    TIE-DY$ ;,T-%IRT 7%OPLIFT$ F ,!
    ,GAP72 84TRESS$0 BLUE J1NS 7%OPLIFT$
    F ,MACY'S72 ,BIRK5/OCK S&ALS 7/OL5 F
    ! FEET ( AN UNCONSCI\S :ITE POT D1L]
    & POET7
  ,I'M EXCIT$ AB S*OOL4
  ,R[DY & ,I >E PLANN+ ON PLAY+ HI<
S*OOL BASKETBALL4
  ,LA/ YE>1 ,R[DY & ,I 7 ! BE/       #CD
PLAY]S ON ! EI<?-GRADE T1M4 ,B ,I DON'T
?9K ,I'LL 2 A V GD HI< S*OOL PLAY]4
  ,R[DY IS PROBABLY GO+ 6/>T V>S;Y Z A
FRE%MAN1 B ,I FIGURE ! BI7] & BETT] KIDS
W CRU% ME4 ,X'S "O ?+ 6HIT JUMP]S OV]
O!R EI<? GRAD]S2 X'S A :OLE O!R ?+ TO
SCORE ON HI< S*OOL MON/]S4
  ,I'LL PROBABLY 2 A B5*W>M] ON ! ;,C
SQUAD :ILE ,R[DY GOES ON 6ALL-/ATE GLORY
& FAME4
  ,I AM A LL WORRI$ T ,R[DY W />T 6HANG
>.D )! OLD] GUYS & L1VE ME 2H4
  ,I'M AL WORRI$ T HE'LL />T 6PICK ON
ME1 TOO4
  ,I'M SC>$ HE MI<T />T HAT+ ME Z M* Z
ALL (! O!RS D4
  ,B ,I AM M HAPPY ?AN SC>$4
  ,& ,I "K T ! O!R KIDS >E GO+ 6GIVE ME
CRAP = 2+ S EXCIT$ AB S*OOL4 ,B ,I DON'T
C>E4
  ,I 0 SITT+ 9 A FRE%MAN CLASSROOM AT
,WELLP9IT ,HI< ,S*OOL :5 ,MR4 ;,P /ROLL$
9 )A BOX FULL ( GEOMETRY TEXTBOOKS4
  ,& LET ME TELL Y1 ,MR4 ;,P IS A WEIRD-
LOOK+ DUDE4                          #CE
      ,DRAW+3 ,MR4 ;,P2 8C-C-CLASS802
    #D;FT TALL2 BALD ''' ,,& D&RUFF7672
    NOSE HAIR2 FOOD /A9S ON %IRT2 WEI<T
    MAYBE #EJ P.DS 7B ONLY :5 HE'S C>RY+
    8 #AE-P.D BRIEFCASE72 ,,TRI$ ,6,,/>T
    ,A ,,RES]V,N ,,%AKESPE>E ,,!AT]
    ,,-PANY 7FAIL$ MIS]ABLY7
  ,B NO MATT] H[ WEIRD HE LOOKS1 ! ABSO-
LUTELY WEIRDE/ ?+ AB ,MR4 ;,P IS T "S"TS
HE .=GETS 6-E 6S*OOL4
  ,LET ME REP1T T3 ,,MR4 ;,P ,,"S"TS
,,=GETS ,,6,,-E ,,6,,S*OOL6
  ,YEP1 WE H 6S5D A KID D[N 6! T1*]S'
H\S+ -P.D 2H ! S*OOL 6WAKE ,MR4 ;,P1 :O
IS ALW CONK+ \ 9 FRONT ( 8 ,,TV4
  ,T'S "R4 ,MR4 ;,P "S"TS T1*ES CLASS 9
8 .PAJAMAS4
  ,HE IS A WEIRD OLD COOT1 B MO/ (! KIDS
DIG HM 2C HE DOESN'T ASK TOO M* ( U4 ,I
M1N1 H[ C Y EXPECT YR /UD5TS 6"W H>D IF
Y %[ UP 9 YR PAJAMAS .& .SLIPP]S8
  ,& Y1H1 ,I "K X'S WEIRD1 B ! TRIBE AC-
TU,Y H\SES ALL (! T1*]S 9 "O-B$ROOM COT-
TAGES & M/Y1 OLD TRAIL] H\SES 2H !
S*OOL4 ,Y C'T T1* AT \R S*OOL IF Y   #CF
DON'T LIVE 9 ! -P.D4 ,X 0 L "S K9D (
PRISON-"W F>M = \R LIB]AL1 :ITE1 VEGET>-
IAN D-GD]S & 3S]VATIVE1 :ITE MIS.N>Y
SAVIORS4
  ,"S ( \R T1*]S MAKE U EAT BIRDSE$ S
WE'LL FEEL CLOS] 6! E>?1 & O!R T1*]S
HATE BIRDS 2C !Y >E SUPPOS$LY M9IONS (!
,DEVIL4 ,X IS L 2+ TAU<T 0,JEKYLL &
,HYDE4
  ,B ,MR4 ;,P ISN'T A ,DEMOCRATIC-1
,REPUBLICAN-1 ,*RI/IAN-1 OR ,DEVIL-
WOR%IPP+ FR1K4 ,HE IS J .SLEEPY4
  ,B "S FOLKS >E ABSOLUTELY 3V9C$ HE IS1
L1 ? ,SICILIAN A3.TANT :O TE/IFI$ AG/ !
,MAFIA1 & _H 6BE HI45 0T SECRET ,WIT;S
,RELOC,N ,PROGRAM4
  ,X MAKES "S GO(Y SORT ( S5SE1 ,I SUP-
POSE4
  ,IF ! GOV]N;T WANTS 6HIDE "SBODY1 "!'S
PROBABLY NO PLACE M ISOLAT$ ?AN MY RES]-
V,N1 : IS LOCAT$ APPROXIMATELY "O MIL-
LION MILES NOR? ( ,IMPORTANT & TWO BIL-
LION MILES WE/ ( ,HAPPY4 ,B JEEZ1 ,I ?9K
P PAY WAY TOO M* ATT5;N 6.,! .,SOPRANOS4
  ,MO/LY1 ,I J ?9K ,MR4 ;,P IS A     #CG
L"OLY OLD MAN :O US$ 6BE A L"OLY "Y MAN4
,&= "S R1SON ,I DON'T "U/&1 L"OLY :ITE P
LOVE 6HANG >.D L"OLI] ,9DIANS4
  8,ALL "R1 KIDS1 LET'S GET CRACK+10
,MR4 ;,P SD Z HE PASS$ \ ! GEOMETRY
BOOKS4 8,H[ AB WE D "S?+ /RANGE & />T ON
PAGE "O80
  ,I GRA2$ MY BOOK & OP5$ X UP4
  ,I WANT$ 6SMELL X4
  ,HECK1 ,I WANT$ 6KISS X4
  ,YES1 KISS X4
  ,T'S "R1 ,I AM A BOOK KISS]4
  ,MAYBE T'S K9D ( P]V]T$ OR MAYBE X'S J
ROMANTIC & HI<LY .9TELLIG5T4
  ,B MY LIPS & ,I /OPP$ %ORT :5 ,I SAW ?
WRITT5 ON ! 9SIDE FRONT COV]3

           ,,? ,,BOOK ,,2L;GS
           ,,6,,AGNES ,,ADAMS

  ,OKAY1 N[ Y'RE PROBABLY ASK+ YRF1 8,:O
IS ,AGNES ,ADAMS80
  ,WELL1 LET ME TELL Y4 ,AGNES ,ADAMS IS
MY "M4 ,,MY ,,"M6 ,& ,ADAMS IS H] .MAID5
"N4                                  #CH
  ,S T M1NS MY "M 0 BORN AN ,ADAMS & %E
0 / AN ,ADAMS :5 %E WROTE H] "N 9 T
BOOK4 ,& %E 0 ?IRTY :5 %E GAVE BIR? 6ME4
,YEP1 S T M1NS ,I 0 />+ AT A GEOMETRY
BOOK T 0 AT L1/ ?IRTY YE>S OLD] ?AN ,I
WAS4
  ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE X4
  ,H[ HORRI# IS T8
  ,MY S*OOL & MY TRIBE >E S POOR & SAD T
WE H 6/UDY F ! SAME DANG BOOKS \R P>5TS
/UDI$ F4 ,T IS ABSOLUTELY ! SA4E/ ?+ 9 !
_W4
  ,& LET ME TELL Y1 T OLD1 OLD1 OLD1
.DECREPIT GEOMETRY BOOK HIT MY HE>T )!
=CE (A NUCLE> BOMB4 ,MY HOPES & DR1MS
FLOAT$ UP 9 A MU%ROOM CL\D4 ,:AT D Y D
:5 ! _W HAS DCLD NUCLE> W> ON Y8







            ,HOPE ,AG/ ,HOPE         #CI

  ,( C\RSE1 ,I 0 SUSP5D$ F S*OOL AF ,I
SMA%$ ,MR4 ;,P 9 ! FACE1 EV5 ?\< X 0 A
-PLETE A3ID5T4
  ,OKAY1 S X WASN'T EXACTLY AN A3ID5T4
  ,AF ALL1 ,I WANT$ 6HIT ."S?+ :5 ,I
?REW T ANCI5T BOOK4 ,B ,I DIDN'T WANT TO
HIT ."SBODY1 & ,I C]TA9LY DIDN'T PLAN ON
BR1K+ ! NOSE (A MAFIOSO MA? T1*]4
  8,T'S ! F/ "T Y'VE "E HIT ANY?+ Y AIM$
AT10 MY BIG SI/] SD4
  8,WE >E S 4APPO9T$10 MY "M SD4
  8,WE >E S 4APPO9T$ .9 .Y10 MY "F SD4
  ,MY GR&"M J SAT 9 H] ROCK+ *AIR & CRI$
& CRI$4
  ,I 0 A%AM$4 ,I'D N"E RE,Y BE5 9 TR\#
2F4
  ,A WEEK 96MY SUSP5.N1 ,I 0 SITT+ ON \R
FRONT POR*1 ?9K+ AB /UFF1 .3TEMPLAT+1 :5
OLD ,MR4 ;,P WALK$ UP \R DRIVEWAY4 ,HE
_H A BIG B&AGE ON 8 FACE4
  8,I'M SORRY AB YR FACE10 ,I SD4
  8,I'M SORRY !Y SUSP5D$ Y10 HE SD4 8,I
HOPE Y "K T WASN'T MY IDEA40
  ,AF ,I SMA%$ HM 9 ! FACE1 ,I       #DJ
FIGUR$ ,MR4 ;,P WANT$ 6HIRE A HIT MAN4
,WELL1 MAYBE T'S TAK+ X TOO F>4 ,MR4 ;,P
DIDN'T WANT ME D1D1 B ,I DON'T ?9K HE WD
H M9D$ IF ,I'D BE5 ! ONLY SURVIVOR (A
PLANE T CRA%$ 96! ,PACIFIC ,OC1N4
  ,AT ! V L1/1 ,I ?"\ !Y 7 GO+ 6S5D ME
6JAIL4
  8,C ,I SIT D[N ) Y80 ,MR4 ;,P ASK$4
  8,Y BET10 ,I SD4 ,I 0 N]V\S4 ,:Y 0 HE
2+ S FRLY8 ,0 HE PLANN+ A SN1K ATTACK ON
ME8 ,MAYBE HE 0 GO+ 6SMA% ME 9 ! NOSE )A
CALCULUS BOOK4
  ,B ! OLD GUY J SAT 9 P1CE;L SIL;E =A
L;G "T4 ,I DIDN'T "K :AT 6D OR SAY1 S ,I
J SAT Z QUIETLY Z HE DID4 ,T SIL;E GOT S
BIG & R1L T X FELT L ?REE P SAT ON !
POR*4
  8,D Y "K :Y Y HIT ME ) T BOOK80 ,MR4
;,P F9,Y ASK$4
  ,X 0 A TRICK "Q4 ,I KNEW ,I NE$$ 6AN-
SW] CORRECTLY OR HE'D 2 MAD4
  8,I HIT Y 2C ,I'M /UPID40
  8,Y'RE N /UPID40
  ,WR;G ANSW]4
  ,%OOT4                             #DA
  ,I TRI$ AG4
  8,I DIDN'T M1N 6HIT Y10 ,I SD4 8,I 0
AIM+ =! WALL40
  8,W]E Y RE,Y AIM+ =! WALL80
  ,DANG X4
  ,HE WAS1 L1 .9T]ROGAT+ ME4
  ,I 0 />T+ 6GET .UPSET4
  8,NO10 ,I SD4 8,I WASN'T AIM+ = ANY?+
RE,Y4 ,WELL1 ,I 0 PLANN+ ON HITT+ "S?+1
Y "K8 ,L ! WALL OR A DESK OR ! *ALKBO>D4
,"S?+ D1D1 Y "K1 N "S?+ ALIVE40
  8,ALIVE L ME80
  8,OR L A PLANT40
  ,MR4 ;,P _H ?REE PLANTS 9 8 CLASSROOM4
,HE TALK$ 6^? GRE5 ?+S M (T5 ?AN HE
TALK$ 6U4
  8,Y D "K T HITT+ A PLANT & HITT+ ME >E
TWO DI6]5T ?+S1 "R80 HE ASK$4
  8,Y1H1 ,I "K40
  ,HE SMIL$ MY/]I\SLY4 ,ADULTS >E S GD
AT SMIL+ MY/]I\SLY4 ,D !Y G 6COLLEGE =
T8
  ,I 0 GETT+ M & M FR1K$ \4 ,:AT DID HE
WANT8
  8,Y "K1 ,MR4 ;,P1 ,I DON'T M1N     #DB
6BE RUDE OR ANY?+1 B Y'RE1 L1 FR1K+ ME \
"H4 ,I M1N1 :Y >E Y "H1 EXACTLY80
  8,WELL1 ,I WANT Y 6"K T HITT+ ME ) T
BOOK 0 PROBABLY ! WOR/ ?+ Y'VE "E D"O4
,X DOESN'T MATT] :AT Y 9T5D$ 6D4 ,:AT
HAPP5S IS :AT Y RE,Y DID4 ,& Y BROKE AN
OLD MAN'S NOSE4 ,T'S ALM UN=GIVA#40
  ,HE 0 GO+ 6PUNI% ME N[4 ,HE CDN'T B1T
ME UP ) 8 OLD MAN FI/S1 B HE CD HURT ME
) 8 OLD MAN ^WS4
  8,B ,I D =GIVE Y10 HE SD4 8,NO MATT]
H[ M* ,I DON'T WANT TO4 ,I H 6=GIVE Y4
,X'S ! ONLY ?+ T KEEPS ME F SMACK+ Y )
AN UGLY /ICK4 ,:5 ,I F/ />T$ T1*+ "H1
T'S :AT WE DID 6! R[DY "OS1 Y "K8 ,WE
B1T !M4 ,T'S H[ WE 7 TAU<T 6T1* Y4 ,WE 7
SUPPOS$ 6KILL ! ,9DIAN 6SAVE ! *40
  8,Y .KILL$ ,9DIANS80
  8,NO1 NO1 X'S J A SAY+4 ,I DIDN'T LIT-
],Y KILL ,9DIANS4 ,WE 7 SUPPOS$ 6MAKE Y
GIVE UP 2+ ,9DIAN4 ,YR S;GS & /ORIES &
LANGUAGE & DANC+4 ,"EY?+4 ,WE W]5'T TRY+
6KILL ,9DIAN P4 ,WE 7 TY+ 6KILL ,9DIAN
CULTURE40
  ,MAN1 AT T SECOND1 ,I HAT$ ,MR4    #DC
;,P .H>D4 ,I WI%$ ,I _H A :OLE DANG SET
( 5CYCLOP$IAS 6?R[ AT HM4
  8,I C'T APOLOGIZE 6"EYBODY ,I HURT10
,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,B ,I C APOLOGIZE 6Y40
  ,X 0 S BACKW>D4 ,I'D BROK5 .8 NOSE B
HE 0 TRY+ 6APOLOGIZE 6.ME4
  8,I HURT A LOT ( ,9DIAN KIDS :5 ,I 0 A
"Y T1*]10 HE SD4 8,I MI<T H BROK5 A FEW
B"OS40
  ,ALL (A SU451 ,I R1LIZ$ HE 0 .3FESS+
6ME4
      ,DRAW+3 ,*3 8,SP1K1 MY *40 ,MR4
    ;,P3 8,X ALL />T$ :5 ,I LE>N$ 6WALK
    '''0
  8,X 0 A DI6]5T "T10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,A
BAD "T4 ,V BAD4 ,X 0 WR;G4 ,B ,I 0 "Y &
/UPID & FULL ( ID1S4 ,J L Y40
  ,MR4 ;,P SMIL$4 ,HE SMIL$ AT ME4 ,"! 0
A PIECE ( LETTUCE /UCK 2T 8 FRONT TEE?4
  8,Y "K10 HE SD4 8,I TAU<T YR SI/]1
TOO40
  8,I "K40
  8,%E 0 ! SM>TE/ KID ,I "E _H4 ,%E 0
EV5 SM>T] ?AN Y40
  ,I KNEW MY SI/] 0 SM>T4 ,B ,I'D    #DD
N"E HE>D A T1*] SAY T AB H]4 ,& ,I'D N"E
HE>D ANYBODY SAY T %E 0 SM>T] ?AN ME4 ,I
0 HAPPY & J1L\S AT ! SAME "T4
  ,MY SI/]1 ! BASE;T MOLE RAT1 0 SM>T]
?AN ME8
  8,WELL10 ,I SD1 8,MY MOM & DAD >E
PRETTY SM>T1 TOO1 S ,I GUESS X RUNS 9 !
FAMILY40
  8,YR SI/] WANT$ 6BE A WRIT]10 ,MR4 ;,P
SD4
  8,RE,Y80 ,I ASK$4
  ,I 0 SURPRIS$ 0T4 ,%E'D N"E SD ANY?+
AB T 6ME4 ,OR 6,MOM & ,DAD4 ,OR 6ANY-
BODY4
  8,I N"E HE>D H] SAY T10 ,I SD4
  8,%E 0 %Y AB X10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,%E ALW
?"\ P WD MAKE FUN ( H]40
  8,= WRIT+ BOOKS8 ,P WD H ?"\ %E 0 A
H]O >.D "H4 ,MAYBE %E CD H MADE MOVIES
OR "S?+1 TOO4 ,T WD H BE5 COOL40
  8,WELL1 %E WASN'T %Y AB ! IDEA ( WRIT+
BOOKS4 ,%E 0 %Y AB ! K9D ( BOOKS %E
WANT$ 6WRITE40
  8,:AT K9D ( BOOKS DID %E WANT 6WRITE80
,I ASK$4                             #DE
  8,Y'RE GO+ 6LAU<40
  8,NO1 ,I'M N40
  8,YES1 Y >E40
  8,NO1 ,I'M N40
  8,YES1 Y >E40
  ,JEEZ1 WE _H BO? TURN$ 96SEV5-YE>-
OLDS4
  8,J TELL ME10 ,I SD4
  ,X 0 WEIRD T A T1*] 0 TELL+ ME ?+S ,I
DIDN'T "K AB MY SI/]4 ,X MADE ME WOND]
:AT ELSE ,I DIDN'T "K AB H]4
  8,%E WANT$ 6WRITE ROM.E NOVELS40
  ,( C\RSE1 ,I GI7L$ AT T IDEA4
  8,HEY10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,Y W]5'T SUPPOS$
6LAU<40
  8,I DIDN'T LAU<40
  8,YES1 Y LAU<$40
  8,NO1 ,I DIDN'T40
  8,YES1 Y DID40
  8,MAYBE ,I LAU<$ A LL40
  8,A LL LAU< IS / A LAU<40
  ,& !N ,I LAU<$ = R1L4 ,A BIG LAU<4
  8,ROM.E NOVELS10 ,I SD4 8,^? ?+S >E J
SORT ( SILLY1 >5'T !Y80
  8,LOTS ( P--MO/LY WOM5--LOVE       #DF
!M10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,!Y BUY MILLIONS (
!M4 ,"! >E LOTS ( WRIT]S :O MAKE MIL-
LIONS 0WRIT+ ROM.E NOVELS40
  8,:AT K9D ( ROM.ES80 ,I ASK$4
  8,%E N"E RE,Y SD1 B %E DID L 6R1D !
,9DIAN "OS4 ,Y "K ! "OS ,I'M TALK+ AB80
  ,YES1 ,I DID "K4 ,^? ROM.ES ALW F1TUR$
A LOVE A6AIR 2T A VIRG9AL :ITE S*OOLT1*]
OR PR1*]'S WIFE &A HALF-BRE$ ,9DIAN W>-
RIOR4 ,! COV]S 7 HIL>I\S3
      ,DRAW+3 ,BOOK ,COV]--,SAVAGE ,SUM-
    M]2 OR ,APA*E ,H1T OR ,LUMMI ,LU/ OR
    ,YAKAMA ,YE>N+4 ,MAN3 HAIR BL[+ 9 !
    W9D2 HUGE HALF-BRE$ MUSCLES4 ,WOMAN3
    .CL1VAGE1 OH MY GOD6666
  8,Y "K10 ,I SD1 8,I DON'T ?9K ,I "E
SAW MY SI/] R1D+ "O ( ^? ?+S40
  8,%E KEPT !M HI4510 ,MR4 ;,P SD4
  ,WELL1 T IS A BIG DI6];E 2T MY SI/] &
ME4 ,I HIDE ! MAGAZ9ES FILL$ ) PHOTOS (
NAK$ WOM52 MY SI/] HIDES H] T5D] ROM.E
NOVELS T TELL /ORIES AB NAK$ WOM5 7&
M574
  ,I WANT ! PICTURES2 MY SI/] WANTS !
^WS4                                 #DG
  8,I DON'T REMEMB] H] "E WRIT+ ANY?+10
,I SD4
  8,OH1 %E LOV$ 6WRITE %ORT /ORIES4 ,LL
ROMANTIC /ORIES4 ,%E WDN'T LET ANYBODY
R1D !M4 ,B %E'D ALW 2 SCRI2L+ 9 H] NOTE-
BOOK40
  8,W[10 ,I SD4
  ,T 0 ALL ,I CD SAY4
  ,I M1N1 MY SI/] _H 2COME A HUMANOID
"UGR.D DWELL]4 ,"! WASN'T M* ROM.E 9 T4
,OR MAYBE "! WAS4 ,MAYBE MY SI/] R1D RO-
M.ES ALL "D4 ,MAYBE %E 0 TRAPP$ 9 ^? RO-
M.ES4
  8,I RE,Y ?"\ %E 0 GO+ 6BE A WRIT]10
,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,%E KEPT WRIT+ 9 H] BOOK4
,& %E KEPT "W+ UP ! C\RAGE 6%[ X 6"S-
BODY4 ,& !N %E J /OPP$40
  8,:Y80 ,I ASK$4
  8,I DON'T "K40
  8,Y DON'T H ANY IDEA80
  8,NO1 N RE,Y40
  ,_H %E BE5 HANG+ ON 6H] DR1M ( 2+ A
WRIT]1 B ONLY B>ELY HANG+ ON1 & "S?+
MADE H] LET G8
  ,T _H 6BE X1 "R8 ,"S?+ BAD _H      #DH
HAPP5$ 6H]1 "R8 ,I M1N1 %E LIV$ 9 !
FRICK9 BASE;T4 ,P J DON'T LIVE & HIDE 9
BASE;TS IF !Y'RE HAPPY4
  ,( C\RSE1 MY SI/] ISN'T M* DI6]5T F MY
DAD 9 T REG>D4
  ,:5"E MY "F ISN'T (F ON A DR9K+ B+E1
HE SP5DS MO/ ( 8 "T 9 8 B$ROOM1 AL"O1
WAT*+ ,,TV4
  ,HE MO/LY WAT*ES BASKETBALL4
  ,HE N"E M9DS IF ,I G 9 "! & WAT* GAMES
) HM4 ,B WE N"E TALK M*4 ,WE J SIT "!
QUIETLY & WAT* ! GAMES4 ,MY DAD DOESN'T
EV5 *E] = 8 FAVORITE T1MS OR PLAY]S4 ,HE
DOESN'T REACT M* 6! GAMES AT ALL4
  ,I SUPPOSE HE IS DEPRESS$4
  ,I SUPPOSE MY SI/] IS DEPRESS$4
  ,I SUPPOSE ! :OLE FAMILY IS DEPRESS$4
  ,B ,I / WANT 6"K EXACTLY :Y MY SI/]
GAVE UP ON H] DR1M ( WRIT+ ROM.E NOVELS4
  ,I M1N1 Y1H1 X IS K9D (A SILLY DR1M4
,:AT K9D ( ,9DIAN WRITES ROM.E NOVELS8
,B X IS / PRETTY COOL4 ,I LOVE ! ?"\ (
R1D+ MY SI/]'S BOOKS4 ,I LOVE ! ?"\ (
WALK+ 96A BOOK/ORE & SEE+ H] "N ON !
COV] (A BIG & B1UTI;L NOVEL4         #DI
  .,SPOKANE .,RIV] .,H1T 0,M>Y ,RUNS
,AWAY4
  ,T WD 2 V COOL4
  8,%E CD / WRITE A BOOK10 ,I SD4 8,"!'S
ALW "T 6*ANGE YR LIFE40
  ,I ALM GA7$ :5 ,I SD T4 ,I DIDN'T EV5
2LIEVE T4 ,"!'S N"E 5 "T 6*ANGE YR LIFE4
,Y DON'T GET 6*ANGE YR LIFE1 P]IOD4
,%IT1 MAYBE ,I 0 TRY+ 6WRITE A ROM.E
NOVEL4
  8,M>Y 0 A B"R & %9+ />10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4
8,& !N %E FAD$ YE> 0YE> UNTIL Y CD B>ELY
SEE H] ANYMORE40
  ,W[1 ,MR4 ;,P 0 A POET4
  8,& Y'RE A B"R & %9+ />1 TOO10 HE SD4
8,Y'RE ! SM>TE/ KID 9 ! S*OOL4 ,& ,I
DON'T WANT Y 6FAIL4 ,I DON'T WANT Y TO
FADE AWAY4 ,Y DES]VE BETT]40
  ,I DIDN'T FEEL SM>T4
  8,I WANT Y 6SAY X10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4
  8,SAY :AT80
  8,I WANT Y 6SAY T Y DES]VE BETT]40
  ,I CDN'T SAY X4 ,X WASN'T TRUE4 ,I
M1N1 ,I WANT$ 6H X BETT]1 B ,I DIDN'T
DES]VE X4 ,I 0 ! KID :O ?REW BOOKS   #EJ
AT T1*]S4
  8,Y >E A GD KID4 ,Y DES]VE ! _W40
  ,W[1 ,I WANT$ 6CRY4 ,NO T1*] _H "E SD
ANY?+ S NICE1 S 9CR$IBLY NICE1 6ME4
  8,?ANK Y10 ,I SD4
  8,Y'RE WELCOME10 HE SD4 8,N[ SAY X40
  8,I C'T40
  ,& !N ,I DID CRY4 ,TE>S ROLL$ D[N MY
*EEKS4 ,I FELT S W1K4
  8,I'M SORRY10 ,I SD4
  8,Y DON'T H 6BE SORRY = ANY?+10 HE SD4
8,WELL1 Y BETT] 2 SORRY = HITT+ ME1 B Y
DON'T H 6FEEL BAD AB CRY+40
  8,I DON'T L 6CRY10 ,I SD4 8,O!R KIDS1
!Y B1T ME UP :5 ,I CRY4 ,"S"TS !Y MAKE
ME CRY S !Y C B1T ME UP = CRY+40
  8,I "K10 HE SD4 8,& WE LET X HAPP54
,WE LET !M PICK ON Y40
  8,R[DY PROTECTS ME40
  8,I "K ,R[DY IS YR BE/ FR1 B HE'S1
HE'S1 HE'S1 HE'S--10 ,MR4 ;,P /UTT]$4
,HE WASN'T SURE :AT 6SAY OR D4 8,Y "K T
,R[DY'S DAD HITS HM1 DON'T Y80
  8,Y1H10 ,I SD4 ,:5"E HE CAME 6S*OOL )A
BLACK EYE1 ,R[DY MADE SURE 6GIVE     #EA
BLACK EYES 6TWO KIDS PICK$ AT R&OM4
  8,R[DY IS J GO+ 6GET M1N] & M1N]10
,MR4 ;,P SD4
  8,I "K ,R[DY HAS A TEMP] & /UFF1 & HE
DOESN'T GET GD GRADES OR ANY?+1 B HE'S
BE5 NICE 6ME S9CE WE 7 KIDS4 ,S9CE WE 7
BABIES4 ,I DON'T EV5 "K :Y HE'S BE5
NICE40
  8,I "K1 ,I "K10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,B1 LIS-
T51 ,I WANT 6TELL Y "S?+ ELSE4 ,& Y H TO
PROMISE ME Y'LL N"E REP1T X40
  8,OKAY10 ,I SD4
  8,PROMISE ME40
  8,OKAY1 OKAY1 ,I PROMISE ,I WON'T RE-
P1T X40
  8,N 6ANY"O4 ,N EV5 YR P>5TS40
  8,NOBODY40
  8,OKAY1 !N10 HE SD & L1N$ CLOS] 6ME 2C
HE DIDN'T EV5 WANT ! TREES 6HE> :AT HE 0
GO+ 6SAY4 8,Y H 6L1VE ? RES]V,N40
  8,I'M GO+ 6,SPOKANE ) MY DAD LAT]40
  8,NO1 ,I M1N Y H 6L1VE ! REZ .="E40
  8,:AT D Y M1N80
  8,Y 7 "R 6?R[ T BOOK AT ME4 ,I DES]V$
6GET SMA%$ 9 ! FACE = :AT ,I'VE      #EB
D"O 6,9DIANS4 ,E :ITE P]SON ON ? REZ %D
GET SMA%$ 9 ! FACE4 ,B1 LET ME TELL Y ?4
,ALL ! ,9DIANS %D GET SMA%$ 9 ! FACE1
TOO40
  ,I 0 %OCK$4 ,MR4 ;,P 0 .FURI\S4
  8,! ONLY ?+ Y KIDS >E 2+ TAU<T IS H[
6GIVE UP4 ,YR FR ,R[DY1 HE'S GIV5 UP4
,T'S :Y HE LIKES 6HURT P4 ,HE WANTS !M
6FEEL Z BAD Z HE DOES40
  8,HE DOESN'T HURT ME40
  8,HE DOESN'T HURT Y 2C Y'RE ! ONLY GD
?+ 9 8 LIFE4 ,HE DOESN'T WANT 6GIVE T
UP4 ,X'S ! ONLY ?+ HE HASN'T GIV5 UP40
  ,MR4 ;,P GRA2$ ME 0! %\LD]S & L1N$ S
CLOSE 6ME T ,I CD SMELL 8 BR1?4
  ,ONIONS & G>LIC & HAMBURG] & %AME &
PA94
  8,ALL ^! KIDS H GIV5 UP10 HE SD4 8,ALL
YR FRS4 ,ALL ! BULLIES4 ,& _! "MS & "FS
H GIV5 UP1 TOO4 ,& _! GR&P>5TS GAVE UP &
_! GR&P>5TS 2F !M4 ,& ME & E O!R T1*]
"H4 ,WE'RE ALL DEF1T$40
  ,MR4 ;,P 0 CRY+4
  ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE X4
  ,I'D N"E SE5 A SOB] ADULT CRY4     #EC
  8,B N Y10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,Y C'T GIVE
UP4 ,Y WON'T GIVE UP4 ,Y ?REW T BOOK 9
MY FACE 2C "S": 9SIDE Y REFUSE 6GIVE
UP40
  ,I DIDN'T "K :AT HE 0 TALK+ AB4 ,OR
MAYBE ,I J DIDN'T WANT 6"K4
  ,JEEZ1 X 0 A LOT ( PRESSURE 6PUT ON A
KID4 ,I 0 C>RY+ ! BURD5 ( MY RACE1 Y "K8
,I 0 GO+ 6GET A BAD BACK F X4
  8,IF Y /AY ON ? REZ10 ,MR4 ;,P SD1
8!Y'RE GO+ 6KILL Y4 ,I'M GO+ 6KILL Y4
,WE'RE ALL GO+ 6KILL Y4 ,Y C'T FI<T U =-
"E40
  8,I DON'T WANT 6FI<T ANYBODY10 ,I SD4
  8,Y'VE BE5 FI<T+ S9CE Y 7 BORN10 HE
SD4 8,Y F"\ (F T BRA9 SURG]Y4 ,Y F"\ (F
^? SEIZURES4 ,Y F"\ (F ALL ! DRUNKS &
DRUG A4ICTS4 ,Y KEPT YR HOPE4 ,& N[1 Y H
6TAKE YR HOPE & G "S": ": O!R P H HOPE40
  ,I 0 />T+ 6"U/&4 ,HE 0 A MA? T1*]4 ,I
_H 6ADD MY HOPE 6"SBODY ELSE'S HOPE4 ,I
_H 6MULTIPLY HOPE 0HOPE4
  8,": IS HOPE80 ,I ASK$4 8,:O HAS
HOPE80
  8,SON10 ,MR4 ;,P SD4 8,Y'RE GO+    #ED
6F9D M & M HOPE ! F>!R & F>!R Y WALK
AWAY F ? SAD1 SAD1 SAD RES]V,N40






















               ,G ,M1NS ,G           #EE

  ,AF ,MR4 ;,P LEFT1 ,I SAT ON ! POR* =A
L;G "T & ?"\ AB MY LIFE4 ,:AT ! HECK 0
,I SUPPOS$ 6D8 ,I FELT L LIFE _H J
KNOCK$ ME ON MY ASS4
  ,I 0 S HAPPY :5 ,MOM & ,DAD GOT HOME F
"W4
  8,HEY1 LL MAN10 ,DAD SD4
  8,HEY1 ,DAD1 ,MOM40
  8,JUNIOR1 :Y >E Y LOOK+ S SAD80 ,MOM
ASK$4 ,%E KNEW /UFF4
  ,I DIDN'T "K H[ 6/>T1 S ,I J />T$ )!
BI7E/ "Q4
  8,:O HAS ! MO/ HOPE80 ,I ASK$4
  ,MOM & ,DAD LOOK$ AT EA* O!R4 ,!Y /UD-
I$ EA* O!R'S EYES1 Y "K1 L !Y _H ANT5NAS
& 7 S5D+ RADIO SIGNALS 6EA* O!R4 ,& !N
!Y BO? LOOK$ BACK AT ME4
  8,-E ON10 ,I SD4 8,:O HAS ! MO/ HOPE80
  8,:ITE P10 MY P>5TS SD AT ! SAME "T4
  ,T'S EXACTLY :AT ,I ?"\ !Y 7 GO+ 6SAY1
S ,I SD ! MO/ SURPRIS+ ?+ !Y'D "E HE>D F
ME4
  8,I WANT 6TRANSF] S*OOLS10 ,I SD4
  8,Y WANT 6G 6,HUNT]S80 ,MOM SD4    #EF
  ,X'S ANO!R S*OOL ON ! WE/ 5D (! RES]-
V,N1 FILL$ ) POOR ,9DIANS & POOR] :ITE
KIDS4 ,YES1 "! IS A PLACE 9 ! _W ": !
:ITE P >E POOR] ?AN ! ,9DIANS4
  8,NO10 ,I SD4
  8,Y WANT 6G 6,SPR+DALE80 ,DAD ASK$4
  ,X'S A S*OOL ON ! RES]V,N BORD] FILL$
)! POORE/ ,9DIANS & POOR]-?AN-POORE/
:ITE KIDS4 ,YES1 "! IS A PLACE 9 ! _W ":
! :ITE P >E EV5 POOR] ?AN Y "E ?"\ POS-
SI#4
  8,I WANT 6G 6,RE>DAN10 ,I SD4
  ,RE>DAN IS ! RI*1 :ITE F>M T[N T SITS
9 ! :1T FIELDS EXACTLY TW5TY-TWO MILES
AWAY F ! REZ4 ,& X'S A HICK T[N1 ,I SUP-
POSE1 FILL$ ) F>M]S & R$NECKS & RACI/
COPS :O /OP E ,9DIAN T DRIVES "?4
  ,DUR+ "O WEEK :5 ,I 0 LL1 ,DAD GOT
/OPP$ ?REE "TS = ,,DWI3 ,DRIV+ ,:ILE
,9DIAN4
  ,B ,RE>DAN HAS "O (! BE/ SMALL S*OOLS
9 ! /ATE1 )A -PUT] ROOM & HUGE *EMI/RY
LAB &A DRAMA CLUB & TWO BASKETBALL GYMS4
  ,! KIDS 9 ,RE>DAN >E ! SM>TE/ & MO/
A?LETIC KIDS ANY":4 ,!Y >E ! BE/4    #EG
  8,I WANT 6G 6,RE>DAN10 ,I SD AG4 ,I
CDN'T 2LIEVE ,I 0 SAY+ X4 ,= ME1 X SEEM$
Z R1L Z SAY+1 8,I WANT 6FLY 6! MOON40
  8,>E Y SURE80 MY P>5TS ASK$4
  8,YES10 ,I SD4
  8,:5 D Y WANT 6G80 MY P>5TS ASK$4
  8,"R N[10 ,I SD4 8,TM40
  8,>E Y SURE80 MY P>5TS ASK$4 8,Y CD
MAYBE WAIT UNTIL ! SEME/] BR1K4 ,OR UN-
TIL NEXT YE>4 ,GET A FRE% />T40
  8,NO1 IF ,I DON'T G N[1 ,I N"E W4 ,I H
6D X N[40
  8,OKAY10 !Y SD4
  ,YEP1 X 0 T EASY ) MY P>5TS4 ,X 0 ALM
L !Y'D BE5 WAIT+ = ME 6ASK !M IF ,I CD G
6,RE>DAN1 L !Y 7 PSY*ICS OR "S?+4
  ,I M1N1 !Y'VE ALW "KN T ,I'M WEIRD &
AMBITI\S1 S MAYBE !Y EXPECT ME 6D !
WEIRDE/ ?+S POSSI#4 ,& GO+ 6,RE>DAN IS
TRULY A /RANGE IDEA4 ,B X ISN'T WEIRD T
MY P>5TS S QKLY AGRE$ ) MY PLANS4 ,!Y
WANT A BETT] LIFE = MY SI/] & ME4 ,MY
SI/] IS RUNN+ AWAY 6GET LO/1 B ,I AM
RUNN+ AWAY 2C ,I WANT 6F9D ."S?+4 ,& MY
P>5TS LOVE ME S M* T !Y WANT 6HELP   #EH
ME4 ,Y1H1 ,DAD IS A DRUNK & ,MOM IS AN
EX-DRUNK1 B !Y DON'T WANT _! KIDS 6BE
DRUNKS4
  8,X'S GO+ 6BE H>D 6GET Y 6,RE>DAN10
,DAD SD4 8,WE C'T AF=D 6MOVE "!4 ,& "!
A9'T NO S*OOL BUS GO+ 6-E \ "H40
  8,Y'LL 2 ! F/ "O 6"E L1VE ! REZ ?
WAY10 ,MOM SD4 8,! ,9DIANS >.D "H >E GO+
6BE ANGRY ) Y40
  ,%OOT1 ,I FIGURE T MY FELL[ TRIBAL
MEMB]S >E GO+ 6TORTURE ME4













          ,R[DY ,S+S ! ,BLUES        #EI

  ,S ! "D AF ,I DECID$ 6TRANSF] 6,RE>-
DAN1 & AF MY P>5TS AGRE$ 6MAKE X HAPP51
,I WALK$ OV] 6! TRIBAL S*OOL1 & F.D ,R[-
DY SITT+ 9 8 USUAL PLACE ON ! PLAYGR.D4
  ,HE 0 AL"O1 ( C\RSE4 ,"EYBODY 0 SC>$ (
HM4
  8,I ?"\ Y 7 ON SUSP5.N1 DICKWAD10 HE
SD1 : 0 ,R[DY'S WAY ( SAY+1 8,I'M HAPPY
Y'RE "H40
  8,KISS MY ASS10 ,I SD4
  ,I WANT$ 6TELL HM T HE 0 MY BE/ FR &
,I LOV$ HM L CRAZY1 B BOYS DIDN'T SAY S*
?+S 6O!R BOYS1 & .NOBODY SD S* ?+S 6,R[-
DY4
  8,C ,I TELL Y A SECRET80 ,I ASK$4
  8,X BETT] N 2 GIRLY10 HE SD4
  8,X'S N40
  8,OKAY1 !N1 TELL ME40
  8,I'M TRANSF]R+ 6,RE>DAN40
  ,R[DY'S EYES N>R[$4 ,8 EYES ALW N>R[$
"R 2F HE B1T ! CRAP \ ( "S"O4 ,I />T$
%AK+4
  8,T'S N FUNNY10 HE SD4
  8,X'S N SUPPOS$ 6BE FUNNY10 ,I     #FJ
SD4 8,I'M TRANSF]R+ 6,RE>DAN4 ,I WANT Y
6-E ) ME40
  8,& :5 >E Y GO+ ON ? IMAG9>Y J\RNEY80
  8,X'S N IMAG9>Y4 ,X'S R1L4 ,& ,I'M
TRANSF]R+ N[4 ,I />T S*OOL TM AT ,RE>-
DAN40
  8,Y BETT] QUIT SAY+ T10 HE SD4 8,Y'RE
GETT+ ME MAD40
  ,I DIDN'T WANT 6GET HM MAD4 ,:5 ,R[DY
GOT MAD X TOOK HM "DS 6GET UN-MAD4 ,B HE
0 MY BE/ FR & ,I WANT$ HM 6"K ! TRU?4
  8,I'M N TRY+ 6GET Y MAD10 ,I SD4 8,I'M
TELL+ ! TRU?4 ,I'M L1V+ ! REZ1 MAN1 & ,I
WANT Y 6-E ) ME4 ,-E ON4 ,X W 2 AN ADV5-
TURE40
  8,I DON'T EV5 DRIVE "? T T[N10 HE SD4
8,:AT MAKES Y ?9K ,I WANT 6G 6S*OOL "!80
  ,HE GOT UP1 />$ ME H>D 9 ! EYES1 & !N
SPIT ON ! FLOOR4
  ,LA/ YE>1 DUR+ EI<? GRADE1 WE TRAVEL$
6,RE>DAN 6PLAY !M 9 FLAG FOOTBALL4 ,R[DY
0 \R /> QU>T]BACK & KICK] & MI4LE L9E-
BACK]1 & ,I 0 ! LOS] WAT] BOY1 & WE LO/
6,RE>DAN 0! SCORE ( #DE-J4
  ,( C\RSE1 LOS+ ISN'T EXACTLY       #FA
FUN4
  ,NOBODY WANTS 6BE A LOS]4
  ,WE ALL GOT RE,Y MAD & V[$ 6KICK _!
ASSES ! NEXT GAME4
  ,B1 TWO WEEKS AF T1 ,RE>DAN CAME 6!
REZ & B1T U #EF-AJ4
  ,DUR+ BASKETBALL S1SON1 ,RE>DAN B1T U
#GB-DE & #HF-EJ1 \R ONLY TWO LOSSES (!
S1SON4
  ,R[DY SCOR$ TW5TY-F\R PO9TS 9 ! F/
GAME & =TY 9 ! SECOND GAME4
  ,I SCOR$ N9E PO9TS 9 EA* GAME1 GO+ #C
= #AJ ON ?REE-PO9T]S 9 ! F/ GAME & #C =
#AE 9 ! SECOND4 ,^? 7 MY TWO WOR/ GAMES
(! S1SON4
  ,DUR+ BASEBALL S1SON1 ,R[DY HIT ?REE
HOME RUNS 9 ! F/ GAME AG/ ,RE>DAN & TWO
HOME RUNS 9 ! SECOND B WE / LO/ 0SCORES
( #AG-C & #AB-B4 ,I PLAY$ 9 BO? LOSSES &
/RUCK \ SEV5 "TS & 0 HIT 0A PIT* ONCE4
  ,SAD ?+ IS1 GETT+ HIT L T 0 MY ONLY
HIT (! S1SON4
  ,AF BASEBALL S1SON1 ,I L$ ! ,WELLP9IT
,JUNIOR ,HI< ,ACADEMIC ,B[L T1M AG/
,RE>DAN ,JUNIOR ,HI<1 & WE LO/ 0A    #FB
GR& TOTAL ( #EJ-A4
  ,YEP1 WE ANSW]$ "O "Q CORRECTLY4
  ,I 0 ! ONLY KID1 :ITE OR ,9DIAN1 :O
KNEW T ,*>LES ,DICK5S WROTE ..,A ,TALE (
,TWO .,CITIES4 ,& LET ME TELL Y1 WE ,IN-
DIANS 7 ! WOR/ ( "TS & ^? ,RE>DAN KIDS 7
! BE/ ( "TS4
  ,^? KIDS 7 .MAGNIFIC5T4
  ,!Y KNEW ."EY?+4
  ,& !Y 7 .B1UTI;L4
  ,!Y 7 B1UTI;L & SM>T4
  ,!Y 7 B1UTI;L & SM>T & EPIC4
  ,!Y 7 FILL$ ) HOPE4
  ,I DON'T "K IF HOPE IS :ITE4 ,B ,I D
"K T HOPE = ME IS L "S MY?ICAL CR1TURE3
      ,DRAW+3 HORSE ) W+S1 FLY+ "?
    CL\DS2 :ITE1 :ITE1 :ITE1 :ITE1 :ITE1
    :ITE1 :ITE1 :ITE
  ,MAN1 ,I 0 SC>$ ( ^? ,RE>DAN KIDS1 &
MAYBE ,I 0 SC>$ ( HOPE1 TOO1 B ,R[DY AB-
SOLUTELY HAT$ ALL ( X4
  8,R[DY10 ,I SD4 8,I AM GO+ 6,RE>DAN
TM40
  ,=! F/ "T HE SAW T ,I 0 S]I\S1 B HE
DIDN'T WANT ME 6BE S]I\S4            #FC
  8,Y'LL N"E D X10 HE SD4 8,Y'RE TOO
SC>$40
  8,I'M GO+10 ,I SD4
  8,NO WAY1 Y'RE A WUSS40
  8,I'M DO+ X40
  8,Y'RE A PUSSY40
  8,I'M GO+ 6,RE>DAN TM40
  8,Y'RE RE,Y S]I\S80
  8,R[DY10 ,I SD4 8,I'M Z S]I\S Z A TU-
MOR40
  ,HE C\<$ & TURN$ AWAY F ME4 ,I T\*$ 8
%\LD]4 ,:Y DID ,I T\* 8 %\LD]8 ,I DON'T
"K4 ,I 0 /UPID4 ,R[DY SPUN >.D & %OV$
ME4
  8,DON'T T\* ME1 Y RET>D$ FAG60 HE
YELL$4
  ,MY HE>T BROKE 96F\RTE5 PIECES1 "O =
EA* YE> T ,R[DY & ,I _H BE5 BE/ FRS4
  ,I />T$ CRY+4
  ,T WASN'T SURPRIS+ AT ALL1 B ,R[DY
/>T$ CRY+1 TOO1 & HE HAT$ T4 ,HE WIP$ 8
EYES1 />$ AT 8 WET H&1 & SCR1M$4 ,I'M
SURE T "EYBODY ON ! REZ HE>D T SCR1M4 ,X
0 ! WOR/ ?+ ,I'D "E HE>D4
  ,X 0 PA91 PURE PA94                #FD
  8,R[DY1 ,I'M SORRY10 ,I SD4 8,I'M SOR-
RY40
  ,HE KEPT SCR1M+4
  8,Y C / -E ) ME10 ,I SD4 8,Y'RE / MY
BE/ FR40
  ,R[DY /OPP$ SCR1M+ ) 8 M\? B HE KEPT
SCR1M+ ) 8 EYES4
  8,Y ALW ?"\ Y 7 BETT] ?AN ME10 HE
YELL$4
  8,NO1 NO1 ,I DON'T ?9K ,I'M BETT] ?AN
ANYBODY4 ,I ?9K ,I'M WORSE ?AN "EYBODY
ELSE40
  8,:Y >E Y L1V+80
  8,I H 6G4 ,I'M GO+ 6DIE IF ,I DON'T
L1VE40
  ,I T\*$ 8 %\LD] AG & ,R[DY FL9*$4
  ..,YES1 ,I T\*$ HM .AG4
  ,:AT K9D ( IDIOT 0 ,I8
  ,I 0 ! K9D ( IDIOT T GOT PUN*$ H>D 9 !
FACE 0HIS BE/ FR4
  .,BANG6 ,R[DY PUN*$ ME4
  .,BANG6 ,I HIT ! GR.D4
  .,BANG6 ,MY NOSE BL$ L A FIRE"W4
  ,I /AY$ ON ! GR.D =A L;G "T AF ,R[DY
WALK$ AWAY4 ,I /UPIDLY HOP$ T "T     #FE
WD /& / IF ,I /AY$ /4 ,B ,I _H 6/& EV5-
TU,Y1 & :5 ,I DID1 ,I KNEW T MY BE/ FR
_H 2COME MY WOR/ 5EMY4
      ,DRAW+3 ,R[DY YELLS 8,I ,,HATE Y60
    8,Y ,,SUCK60 8,Y ,,:ITE ,,LOV]60



















                                     #FF
























           ,H[ 6,FI<T ,MON/]S        #FG

  ,! NEXT MORN+1 ,DAD DROVE ME ! TW5TY-
TWO MILES 6,RE>DAN4
  8,I'M SC>$10 ,I SD4
  8,I'M SC>$1 TOO10 ,DAD SD4
  ,HE HU7$ ME CLOSE4 ,8 BR1? SMELL$ L
M\?WA% & LIME VODKA4
  8,Y DON'T H 6D ?10 HE SD4 8,Y C ALW G
BACK 6! REZ S*OOL40
  8,NO10 ,I SD4 8,I H 6D ?40
  ,C Y IMAG9E :AT WD H HAPP5$ 6ME IF
,I'D TURN$ >.D & G"O BACK 6! REZ S*OOL8
  ,I WD H BE5 PUMMEL$4 ,MUTILAT$4 ,CRU-
CIFI$4
  ,Y C'T J 2TRAY YR TRIBE & !N *ANGE YR
M9D T5 M9UTES LAT]4 ,I 0 ON A "O-WAY
BRIDGE4 ,"! 0 NO WAY 6TURN >.D1 EV5 IF
,I WANT$ TO4
  8,J REMEMB] ?10 MY "F SD4 8,^? :ITE P
>5'T BETT] ?AN Y40
  ,B HE 0 S WR;G4 ,& HE KNEW HE 0 WR;G4
,HE 0 ! LOS] ,9DIAN "F (A LOS] ,9DIAN
SON LIV+ 9 A _W BUILT = W9N]S4
  ,B HE LOV$ ME S M*4 ,HE HU7$ ME EV5
CLOS]4                               #FH
  8,? IS A GRT ?+10 HE SD4 8,Y'RE S
BRAVE4 ,Y'RE A W>RIOR40
  ,X 0 ! BE/ ?+ HE CD H SD4
  8,HEY1 "H'S "S LUN* M"OY10 HE SD & H&$
ME A DOLL>4
  ,WE 7 POOR 5 6GET FREE LUN*1 B ,I
DIDN'T WANT 6BE ! ONLY ,9DIAN .&A SAD
SACK :O NE$$ *>;Y4
  8,?ANKS1 ,DAD10 ,I SD4
  8,I LOVE Y10 HE SD4
  8,I LOVE Y1 TOO40
  ,I FELT /R;G] S ,I /EPP$ \ (! C> &
WALK$ 6! FRONT DOOR4 ,X 0 LOCK$4
  ,S ,I /OOD AL"O ON ! SIDEWALK & WAT*$
MY "F DRIVE AWAY4 ,I HOP$ HE'D DRIVE "R
HOME & N /OP 9 A B> & SP5D :AT"E M"OY HE
_H LEFT4
  ,I HOP$ HE'D REMEMB] 6-E BACK & PICK
ME UP AF S*OOL4
  ,I /OOD AL"O AT ! FRONT DOOR =A FEW V
L;G M9UTES4
  ,X 0 / E>LY & ,I _H A BLACK EYE F ,R[-
DY'S GD-BYE PUN*4 ,NO1 ,I _H A PURPLE1
BLUE1 YELL[1 & BLACK EYE4 ,X LOOK$ L
MOD]N >T4                            #FI
  ,!N ! :ITE KIDS 2GAN >RIV+ = S*OOL4
,!Y SURR.D$ ME4 ,^? KIDS W]5'T J :ITE4
,!Y 7 .TRANSLUC5T4 ,I CD SEE ! BLUE VE9S
RUNN+ "? _! SK9 L RIV]S4
  ,MO/ (! KIDS 7 MY SIZE OR SMALL]1 B "!
7 T5 OR TWELVE MON/] DUDES4 ,GIANT :ITE
GUYS4 ,!Y LOOK$ L M51 N BOYS4 ,!Y _H 6BE
S5IORS4 ,"S ( !M LOOK$ L !Y _H 6%AVE TWO
OR ?REE "TS A "D4
  ,!Y />$ AT ME1 ! ,9DIAN BOY )! BLACK
EYE & SWOLL5 NOSE1 MY GO+-AWAY GIFTS F
,R[DY4 ,^? :ITE KIDS CDN'T 2LIEVE _!
EYES4 ,!Y />$ AT ME L ,I 0 ,BIGFOOT OR A
,,UFO4 ,:AT 0 ,I DO+ AT ,RE>DAN1 ^: MAS-
COT 0 AN ,9DIAN1 "!BY MAK+ ME ! ONLY
.O!R ,9DIAN 9 T[N8
      ,DRAW+3 ,H1D ( ,9DIAN ,MALE3 B"R
    R$2 ,RE>DAN'S ,9SPIR+ ,MASCOT4
  ,S :AT 0 ,I DO+ 9 RACI/ ,RE>DAN1 ": M
?AN HALF ( E GRADUAT+ CLASS W5T 6COL-
LEGE8 ,NOBODY 9 MY FAMILY _H "E G"O NE>
A COLLEGE4
  ,RE>DAN 0 ! OPPOSITE (! REZ4 ,X 0 !
OPPOSITE ( MY FAMILY4 ,X 0 ! OPPOSITE (
ME4 ,I DIDN'T DES]VE 6BE "!4 ,I      #GJ
KNEW X2 ALL ( ^? KIDS KNEW X4 ,9DIANS
DON'T DES]VE %IT4
      ,DRAW+3 ,PICTURE ( TE5 MALE ) V]-
      TICAL L9E DIVID+ 96TWO SIDES1 LA-
      BEL$3 ,:ITE--,9DIAN
        ,:ITE SIDE3
    ,A ,B"R ,FUTURE2 ,RALPH ,LAUR5
    ,%IRT2 ,]GONOMIC BACKPACK 7) CELL
    PH"O72 ,POSITIVE ,ROLE ,MODELS2
    ,TIMEX WRI/WAT*2 ,TOMMY ,HILFIG]
    KHAKIS2 ,HOPE2 ! LATE/ ,AIR ,JORDANS
        ,9DIAN SIDE3
    ,A ,VANI%+ ,PA/2 ,KM>T ;,T-%IRT2 ,A
    ,FAMILY ,HI/ORY ( ,DIABETES & ,C.ER2
    ,SE>S BLUE J1NS 7#B PAIRS =
    4#AI.II672 NO WAT* 78,X'S SK9-
    ?IRTY6072 ,GLAD G>BAGE BOOK BAG2
    ,B"O-,CRU%+ ,R1L;Y2 CANVAS T5NIS
    %OES 7PUR*AS$ 9 AISLE #G ( ,SAFEWAY
    SUP]M>KET7
  ,S1 FEEL+ WOR?.S & /UPID1 ,I J WAIT$4
,& PRETTY SOON1 A JANITOR OP5$ ! FRONT
DOOR & ALL (! O!R KIDS /ROLL$ 9SIDE4
  ,I /AY$ \TSIDE4
  ,MAYBE ,I CD J DROP \ ( S*OOL      #GA
-PLETELY4 ,I CD G LIVE 9 ! WOODS L A H]-
MIT4
  ,L A R1L ,9DIAN4
  ,( C\RSE1 S9CE ,I 0 ALL]GIC 6PRETTY M*
E PLANT T GREW ON E>?1 ,I WD H BE5 A R1L
,9DIAN )A H1D FULL ( SNOT4
  8,OKAY10 ,I SD 6MYF4 8,"H ,I G40
  ,I WALK$ 96! S*OOL1 MADE MY WAY 6!
FRONT (FICE1 & TOLD !M :O ,I WAS4
  8,OH1 Y'RE ! "O F ! RES]V,N10 ! SECRE-
T>Y SD4
  8,Y1H10 ,I SD4
  ,I CDN'T TELL IF %E ?"\ ! RES]V,N 0 A
GD OR BAD ?+4
  8,MY "N IS ,MEL9DA10 %E SD4 8,WELCOME
6,RE>DAN ,HI< ,S*OOL4 ,"H'S YR S*$ULE1 A
COPY (! S*OOL 3/ITU;N & MORAL CODE1 &A
TEMPOR>Y /UD5T ,,ID4 ,WE'VE GOT Y AS-
SIGN$ 6,MR4 ,GRANT = HOMEROOM4 ,Y BETT]
HU/LE ON D[N "!4 ,Y'RE LATE40
  8,AH1 ": IS T80 ,I ASK$4
  8,WE'VE ONLY GOT "O HALLWAY "H10 %E SD
& SMIL$4 ,%E _H R$ HAIR & GRE5 EYES & 0
K9D ( SEXY = AN OLD WOMAN4 8,X'S ALL !
WAY D[N ON ! LEFT40                  #GB
  ,I %OV$ ! PAP]"W 96MY BACKPACK & HU/L$
D[N 6MY HOMEROOM4
  ,I PAUS$ A SECOND AT ! DOOR & !N WALK$
9SIDE4
  ,"EYBODY1 ALL (! /UD5TS &! T1*]1 /OPP$
6/>E AT ME4
  ,!Y />$ H>D4
  ,L ,I 0 BAD W1!R4
  8,TAKE YR S1T10 ! T1*] SD4 ,HE 0 A
MUSCUL> GUY4 ,HE _H 6BE A FOOTBALL COA*4
  ,I WALK$ D[N ! AISLE & SAT 9 ! BACK R[
& TRI$ 6IGNORE ALL ! />ES & :ISP]S1 UN-
TIL A BLOND GIRL L1N$ OV] T[>D ME4
  ,P5ELOPE6
      ,DRAW+3 ,TE5 GIRL1 8,MY "N IS ,PE-
    NELOPE40 ,TOT,Y1 ABSOLUTELY GORGE\S6
  ,YES1 "! >E PLACES LEFT 9 ! _W ": P >E
"ND ,P5ELOPE6
  ,I 0 EMO;N,Y ERECT4
  8,:AT'S YR "N80 ,P5ELOPE ASK$4
  8,JUNIOR10 ,I SD4
  ,%E LAU<$ & TOLD H] GIRLFR AT ! NEXT
DESK T MY "N 0 ,JUNIOR4 ,!Y BO? LAU<$4
,^W SPR1D >.D ! ROOM & PRETTY SOON
"EYBODY 0 LAU<+4                     #GC
  ,!Y 7 LAU<+ AT .MY ."N4
  ,I _H NO IDEA T ,JUNIOR 0 A WEIRD "N4
,X'S A -MON "N ON MY REZ1 ON ANY REZ4 ,Y
WALK 96ANY TRAD+ PO/ ON ANY REZ 9 !
,UNIT$ ,/ATES & %\T1 8,HEY1 ,JUN- IOR60
& SEV5TE5 GUYS W TURN >.D4
  ,& ?REE WOM54
  ,B "! 7 NO O!R P "ND ,JUNIOR 9 ,RE>-
DAN1 S ,I 0 2+ LAU<$ AT 2C ,I 0 ! ONLY
"O :O _H T SILLY "N4
  ,& !N ,I FELT SMALL] 2C ! T1*] 0 TAK+
ROLL & HE CALL$ \ MY ."N "N4
  8,>NOLD ,_S10 ! T1*] SD4
  ,NO1 HE YELL$ X4
  ,HE 0 S BIG & MUSCUL> T 8 :ISP] 0
PROBABLY A SCR1M4
  8,"H10 ,I SD Z QUIETLY Z POSSI#4 ,MY
:ISP] 0 ONLY A :ISP]4
  8,SP1K UP10 ! T1*] SD4
  8,"H10 ,I SD4
  8,MY "N IS ,MR4 ,GRANT10 HE SD4
  8,I'M "H1 ,MR4 ,GRANT40
  ,HE MOV$ ON 6O!R /UD5TS1 B ,P5ELOPE
L1N$ OV] T[>D ME AG1 B %E WASN'T LAU<+
AT ALL4 ,%E 0 MAD N[4                #GD
  8,I ?"\ Y SD YR "N 0 ,JUNIOR10 ,P5ELO-
PE SD4
  ,%E .A3US$ ME ( TELL+ H] MY .R1L "N4
,WELL1 OKAY1 X WASN'T -PLETELY MY R1L
"N4 ,MY FULL "N IS ,>NOLD ,_S ,JR4 ,B
NOBODY CALLS ME T4 ,"EYBODY CALLS ME
,JUNIOR4 ,WELL1 E O!R .,9DIAN CALLS ME
,JUNIOR4
  8,MY "N IS ,JUNIOR10 ,I SD4 8,& MY "N
IS ,>NOLD4 ,X'S ,JUNIOR & ,>NOLD4 ,I'M
BO?40
  ,I FELT L TWO DI6]5T P 9SIDE ( "O
BODY4
  ,NO1 ,I FELT L A MAGICIAN SLIC+ MYF 9
HALF1 ) ,JUNIOR LIV+ ON ! NOR? SIDE (!
,SPOKANE ,RIV] & ,>NOLD LIV+ ON ! S\?4
  8,": >E Y F80 %E ASK$4
  ,%E 0 S PRETTY & H] EYES 7 S BLUE4
  ,I 0 SU45LY AW>E T %E 0 ! PRETTIE/
GIRL ,I _H "E SE5 UP CLOSE4 ,%E 0 MOVIE
/> PRETTY4
  8,HEY10 %E SD4 8,I ASK$ Y ": Y'RE F40
  ,W[1 %E 0 T\<4
  8,WELLP9IT10 ,I SD4 8,UP ON ! REZ1 ,I
M1N1 ! RES]V,N40                     #GE
  8,OH10 %E SD4 8,T'S :Y Y TALK S FUN-
NY40
  ,& YES1 ,I _H T /UTT] & LISP1 B ,I AL
_H T S+S;G RES]V,N A35T T MADE "EY?+ ,I
SD S.D L A BAD POEM4
  ,MAN1 ,I 0 FR1K$4
  ,I DIDN'T SAY ANO!R ^W = SIX "DS4
  ,& ON ! SEV5? "D1 ,I GOT 96! WEIRDE/
FI/FI<T ( MY LIFE4 ,B 2F ,I TELL Y AB !
WEIRDE/ FI/FI<T ( MY LIFE1 ,I H 6TELL Y3

     ,,! ,,UN(FICIAL ,,& ,,UNWRITT5
    7B Y BETT] FOLL[ !M OR Y'RE GO+
    6GET B1T5 TWICE Z H>D7 ,,SPOKANE
    ,,9DIAN ,,RULES ,,( ,,FI/ICU6S3

#A4 ,IF "SBODY 9SULTS Y1 !N Y H 6FI<T
  HM4
#B4 ,IF Y ?9K "SBODY IS GO+ 69SULT Y1 !N
  Y H 6FI<T HM4
#C4 ,IF Y ?9K "SBODY IS ?9K+ AB 9SULT+
  Y1 !N Y H 6FI<T HM4
#D4 ,IF "SBODY 9SULTS ANY ( YR FAMILY OR
  FRS1 OR IF Y ?9K !Y'RE GO+ 69SULT YR
  FAMILY OR FRS1 OR IF Y ?9K !Y'RE   #GF
  ?9K+ AB 9SULT+ YR FAMILY OR FRS1 !N Y
  H 6FI<T HM4
#E4 ,Y %D N"E FI<T A GIRL1 UN.S %E IN-
  SULTS Y1 YR FAMILY1 OR YR FRS1 !N Y H
  6FI<T H]4
#F4 ,IF "SBODY B1TS UP YR "F OR YR "M1
  !N Y H 6FI<T ! SON &_/OR DAU<T] (! P]-
  SON :O B1T UP YR "M OR "F4
#G4 ,IF YR "M OR "F B1TS UP "SBODY1 !N T
  P]SON'S SON &_/OR DAU<T] W FI<T Y4
#H4 ,Y M/ ALW PICK FI<TS )! SONS &_/OR
  DAU<T]S ( ANY ,9DIANS :O "W =! ,BUR1U
  ( ,9DIAN ,A6AIRS4
#I4 ,Y M/ ALW PICK FI<TS )! SONS &_/OR
  DAU<T]S ( ANY :ITE P :O LIVE ANY": ON
  ! RES]V,N4
#AJ4 ,IF Y GET 9 A FI<T ) "SBODY :O IS
  SURE 6B1T Y UP1 !N Y M/ ?R[ ! F/ PUN*1
  2C X'S ! ONLY PUN* Y'LL "E GET 6?R[4
#AA4 ,9 ANY FI<T1 ! LOS] IS ! F/ "O :O
  CRIES4

  ,I KNEW ^? RULES4 ,I'D MEMORIZ$ ^?
RULES4 ,I'D LIV$ MY LIFE 0^? RULES4 ,I
GOT 96MY F/ FI/FI<T :5 ,I 0 ?REE     #GG
YE>S OLD1 & ,I'D BE5 9 DOZ5S S9CE4
  ,MY ALL-"T RECORD 0 FIVE W9S & "O HUN-
DR$ & TWELVE LOSSES4
  ,YES1 ,I 0 A T]RI# FI<T]4
  ,I 0 A HUMAN PUN*+ BAG4
  ,I LO/ FI<TS 6BOYS1 GIRLS1 & KIDS HALF
MY AGE4
  ,"O BULLY1 ,MICAH1 MADE ME B1T UP MYF4
,YES1 HE MADE ME PUN* MYF 9 ! FACE ?REE
"TS4 ,I AM ! ONLY ,9DIAN 9 ! HI/ORY (!
_W :O "E LO/ A FI<T .) .HMF4
  ,OKAY1 S N[ T Y "K AB ! RULES1 !N ,I C
TELL Y T ,I W5T F 2+ A SMALL T>GET 9
,WELLP9IT 62+ A L>G] T>GET 9 ,RE>DAN4
  ,WELL1 LET'S GET "S?+ /RAI<T4 ,ALL (
^? PRETTY1 PRETTY1 PRETTY1 PRETTY :ITE
GIRLS IGNOR$ ME4 ,B T 0 OKAY4 ,9DIAN
GIRLS IGNOR$ ME1 TOO1 S ,I 0 US$ 6X4
  ,& LET'S FACE X1 MO/ (! :ITE BOYS IG-
NOR$ ME1 TOO4 ,B "! 7 A FEW ( ^? ,RE>DAN
BOYS1 ! BIG JOCKS1 :O PD SPECIAL ATT5;N
6ME4 ,N"O ( ^? GUYS PUN*$ ME OR GOT VIO-
L5T4 ,AF ALL1 ,I 0 A RES]V,N ,9DIAN1 &
NO MATT] H[ GEEKY & W1K ,I APPE>$ 6BE1
,I 0 / A POT5TIAL KILL]4 ,S MO/LY    #GH
!Y CALL$ ME "NS4 ,LOTS ( "NS4
      ,DRAW+3 ,"N CALL]S--8,*IEF02
    8,SITT+ ,BULL02 8,TONTO02 8,R$SK902
    8,*IEF02 8,*IEF02 8,SQUAW ,BOY02
    8,*IEF0
  ,& Y1H1 ^? 7 BAD 5 "NS4 ,B ,I CD H&LE
!M1 ESPECI,Y :5 "S HUGE MON/] BOY 0 IN-
SULT+ ME4 ,B ,I KNEW ,I'D H 6PUT A /OP
6X EV5TU,Y OR ,I'D ALW 2 "KN Z 8,*IEF0
OR 8,TONTO0 OR 8,SQUAW ,BOY40
  ,B ,I 0 SC>$4
  ,I WASN'T SC>$ ( FI/FI<T+ ) ^? BOYS4
,I'D BE5 9 PL5TY ( FI<TS4 ,& ,I WASN'T
SC>$ ( LOS+ FI<TS ) !M1 EI4 ,I'D LO/ MO/
E FI<T ,I'D BE5 IN4 ,I 0 AFRAID ^? MON-
/]S 7 GO+ 6KILL ME4
  ,& ,I DON'T M1N 8KILL0 Z 9 8METAPHOR40
,I M1N 8KILL0 Z 9 8B1T ME 6D1?40
  ,S1 W1K & POOR & SC>$1 ,I LET !M CALL
ME "NS :ILE ,I TRI$ 6FIGURE \ :AT 6D4 ,&
X MI<T H 3T9U$ T WAY IF ,ROG] ! ,GIANT
_HN'T TAK5 X TOO F>4
  ,X 0 LUN*"T & ,I 0 /&+ \TSIDE 0! WEIRD
SCULPTURE T 0 SUPPOS$ 6BE AN ,9DIAN4 ,I
0 /UDY+ ! SKY L ,I 0 AN A/RONOM]1    #GI
EXCEPT X 0 "D"T & ,I DIDN'T H A TELE-
SCOPE1 S ,I 0 J AN IDIOT4
  ,ROG] ! ,GIANT & 8 GANG ( GIANTS /RUT-
T$ OV] 6ME4
  8,HEY1 ,*IEF10 ,ROG] SD4
  ,X SEEM$ L HE 0 SEV5 FEET TALL & ?REE
HUNDR$ P.DS4 ,HE 0 A F>M BOY :O C>RI$
SQU1L+ PIGS >.D L !Y 7 ALR ?9 SLICES (
BACON4
  ,I />$ AT ,ROG] & TRI$ 6LOOK T\<4 ,I
R1D ONCE T Y C SC>E AWAY A *>G+ BE> IF Y
WAVE YR >MS & LOOK BIG4 ,B ,I FIGUR$
,I'D J LOOK L A T]RIFI$ IDIOT HAV+ AN >M
SEIZURE4
  8,HEY1 ,*IEF10 ,ROG] SD4 8,Y WANT 6HE>
A JOKE80
  8,SURE10 ,I SD4
  8,DID Y "K T ,9DIANS >E LIV+ PRO( T
NI7]S FUCK BU6ALO80
  ,I FELT L ,ROG] _H KICK$ ME 9 ! FACE4
,T 0 ! MO/ RACI/ ?+ ,I'D "E HE>D 9 MY
LIFE4
  ,ROG] & 8 FRS 7 LAU<+ L CRAZY4 ,I HAT$
!M4 ,& ,I KNEW ,I _H 6D "S?+ BIG4 ,I
CDN'T LET !M GET AWAY ) T %IT4 ,I    #HJ
WASN'T J DEF5D+ MYF4 ,I 0 DEF5D+ ,9DI-
ANS1 BLACK P1 .& BU6ALO4
  ,S ,I PUN*$ ,ROG] 9 ! FACE4
  ,HE WASN'T LAU<+ :5 HE L&$ ON 8 ASS4
,& HE WASN'T LAU<+ :5 8 NOSE BL$ L R$
FIRE"WS4
  ,I /RUCK "S FAKE K>ATE POSE 2C ,I FIG-
UR$ ,ROG]'S GANG 0 GO+ 6ATTACK ME =
BLOODY+ _! L1D]4
  ,B !Y J />$ AT ME4
  ,!Y 7 .%OCK$4
  8,Y PUN*$ ME10 ,ROG] SD4 ,8 VOICE 0
?ICK ) BLOOD4 8,I C'T 2LIEVE Y PUN*$
ME40
  ,HE S.D$ 9SULT$4
  ,HE S.D$ L 8 .POOR .LL .FEEL+S _H BE5
HURT4
  ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE X4
  ,HE ACT$ L HE 0 ! "O :O'D BE5 WR;G$4
  8,Y'RE AN ANIMAL10 HE SD4
  ,I FELT BRAVE ALL (A SU454 ,Y1H1 MAYBE
X 0 J A /UPID & IMMATURE S*OOL Y>D FI<T4
,OR MAYBE X 0 ! MO/ IMPORTANT MO;T ( MY
LIFE4 ,MAYBE ,I 0 TELL+ ! _W T ,I 0 NO
L;G] A HUMAN T>GET4                  #HA
  8,Y MEET ME AF S*OOL "R "H10 ,I SD4
  8,:Y80 HE ASK$4
  ,I CDN'T 2LIEVE HE 0 S /UPID4
  8,2C WE'RE GO+ 6F9I% ? FI<T40
  8,Y'RE CRAZY10 ,ROG] SD4
  ,HE GOT 6HIS FEET & WALK$ AWAY4 ,8
GANG />$ AT ME L ,I 0 A S]IAL KILL]1 &
!N !Y FOLL[$ _! L1D]4
  ,I 0 ABSOLUTELY 3FUS$4
  ,I _H FOLL[$ ! RULES ( FI<T+4 ,I _H
2HAV$ EXACTLY ! WAY ,I 0 SUPPOS$ 62HAVE4
,B ^! :ITE BOYS _H IGNOR$ ! RULES4 ,9
FACT1 !Y FOLL[$ A :OLE O!R SET ( MY/]I\S
RULES ": P APP>5TLY ,,DID ,,N ,,GET
,,96,,FI/FI<TS4
  8,WAIT10 ,I CALL$ AF ,ROG]4
  8,:AT D Y WANT80 ,ROG] ASK$4
  8,:AT >E ! RULES80
  8,:AT RULES80
  ,I DIDN'T "K :AT 6SAY1 S ,I J /OOD "!
R$ & MUTE L A /OP SIGN4 ,ROG] & 8 FRS
4APPE>$4
  ,I FELT L "SBODY _H %OV$ ME 96A ROCKET
%IP & BLA/$ ME 6A NEW PLANET4 ,I 0 A
FR1KY ALI5 & "! 0 ABSOLUTELY NO      #HB
WAY 6GET HOME4























     ,GR&"M ,GIVES ,ME ,"S ,ADVICE   #HC

  ,I W5T HOME T NI<T -PLETELY 3FUS$4 ,&
T]RIFI$4
  ,IF ,I'D PUN*$ AN ,9DIAN 9 ! FACE1 !N
HE WD H SP5T "DS PLOTT+ 8 REV5GE4 ,& ,I
IMAG9$ T :ITE GUYS WD AL WANT REV5GE AF
GETT+ PUN*$ 9 ! FACE4 ,S ,I FIGUR$ ,ROG]
0 GO+ 6RUN ME OV] )A F>M TRACTOR OR -B9E
OR GRA9 TRUCK OR RUNAWAY PIG4
  ,I WI%$ ,R[DY 0 / MY FR4 ,I CD H S5T
HM AF ,ROG]4 ,X WD H BE5 L ,K+ ,K;G BAT-
TL+ ,GODZILLA4
  ,I R1LIZ$ H[ M* ( MY SELF-WOR?1 MY
S5SE ( SAFETY1 0 BAS$ ON ,R[DY'S FI/S4
  ,B ,R[DY HAT$ ME4 ,& ,ROG] HAT$ ME4
  ,I 0 GD AT 2+ HAT$ 0GUYS :O CD KICK MY
ASS4 ,X'S N A TAL5T Y RE,Y WANT 6H4
  ,MY "M & "F W]5'T HOME1 S ,I TURN$ 6MY
GR&"M = ADVICE4
      ,DRAW+3 ,,MY ,,GR&"M
    ,H] BE/ DI% IS ,,SALMON ,MU% 7M*
      BETT] ?AN X S.DS7
    H\SE DRESS PUR*AS$ 9 #AIGB = 4#AJ
    BASKETBALL SN1K]S 2C 8%E'S GOT MAD
      SKILLS40                       #HD
    B&ANNA ON H] H1D1 ALW 7R$ :5 %E GOES
      6P[W[S1 GRE5 >.D ! H\SE1 BLUE :5
      %E VISITS H] FRS1 PURPLE :5 %E
      GOES 6G>AGE SALES7
    BELT US$ 62L;G 6MY GR&"F1 :O DI$ :5
      ,I 0 A BABY ,7BUCKLE3 ,,RODEO
      ,,K+7'
    MAKES H] LIV+ SELL+ B1D$ KEY*A9S ON
      E,BAY 78,HI<LY ,SACR$ ,ABORIG9AL
      ,TRANSPORT,N ,*>MS07
  8,GR&MA10 ,I SD4 8,I PUN*$ ? BIG GUY 9
! FACE4 ,& HE J WALK$ AWAY4 ,& N[ ,I'M
AFRAID HE'S GO+ 6KILL ME40
  8,:Y DID Y PUN* HM80 %E ASK$4
  8,HE 0 BULLY+ ME40
  8,Y %D H J WALK$ AWAY40
  8,HE CALL$ ME ,8*IEF40' ,& ,8SQUAW
BOY40'0
  8,!N Y %D H KICK$ HM 9 ! BALLS40
  ,%E PRET5D$ 6KICK A BIG GUY 9 ! CROT*
& WE BO? LAU<$4
  8,DID HE HIT Y80 %E ASK$4
  8,NO1 N AT ALL10 ,I SD4
  8,N EV5 AF Y HIT HM80
  8,NOPE40                           #HE
  8,& HE'S A BIG GUY80
  8,GIGANTIC4 ,I BET HE CD TAKE ,R[DY
D[N40
  8,W[10 %E SD4
  8,X'S /RANGE1 ISN'T X80 ,I ASK$4 8,:AT
DOES X M1N80
  ,GR&MA ?"\ H>D =A :ILE4
  8,I ?9K X M1NS HE RESPECTS Y10 %E SD4
  8,RESPECT8 ,NO WAY60
  8,YES WAY6 ,Y SEE1 Y M5 & BOYS >E L
PACKS ( WILD DOGS4 ,? GIANT BOY IS ! AL-
PHA MALE (! S*OOL1 & Y'RE ! NEW DOG1 S
HE PU%$ Y >.D A BIT 6SEE H[ T\< Y >E40
  8,B ,I'M N T\< AT ALL10 ,I SD4
  8,Y1H1 B Y PUN*$ ! ALPHA DOG 9 !
FACE10 %E SD4 8,!Y'RE GO+ 6RESPECT Y
N[40
  8,I LOVE Y1 ,GR&MA10 ,I SD4 8,B Y'RE
CRAZY40
  ,I CDN'T SLEEP T NI<T 2C ,I KEPT ?9K+
AB MY IMP5D+ DOOM4 ,I KNEW ,ROG] WD 2
WAIT+ = ME 9 ! MORN+ AT S*OOL4 ,I KNEW
HE'D PUN* ME 9 ! H1D & %\LD] >EA AB TWO
HUNDR$ "TS4 ,I KNEW ,I'D SOON 2 9 A
HOSPITAL DR9K+ S\P "? A /RAW4        #HF
  ,S1 EXHAU/$ & T]RIFI$1 ,I W5T 6S*OOL4
  ,MY "D 2GAN Z X USU,Y DID4 ,I GOT \ (
B$ AT D>K-?IRTY1 & RUMMAG$ >.D ! KIT*5 =
ANY?+ 6EAT4 ,ALL ,I CD F9D 0 A PACKAGE (
ORANGE FRUIT DR9K MIX1 S ,I MADE A GAL-
LON ( T1 & DRANK X ALL D[N4
  ,!N ,I W5T 96! B$ROOM & ASK$ ,MOM &
,DAD IF !Y 7 DRIV+ ME 6S*OOL4
  8,DON'T H 5 GAS10 ,DAD SD & W5T BACK
6SLEEP4
  ,GRT1 ,I'D H 6WALK4
  ,S ,I PUT ON MY %OES & COAT1 & />T$
D[N ! HI<WAY4 ,I GOT LUCKY 2C MY DAD'S
BE/ FR ,EUG5E J HAPP5$ 6BE H1D+ 6,SPO-
KANE4
      ,DRAW+3 ,MAN ON MOTORCYCLE3 ,DAD'S
    BE/ FR1 ,,EUG5E1 & 8 #AIDF ,9DIAN
    ,*IEF ,ROADMA/]
  ,EUG5E 0 A GD GUY1 & L AN UNCLE 6ME1 B
HE 0 DRUNK ALL ! "T4 ,N /9KY DRUNK1 J
DRUNK 5 6BE DRUNK4 ,HE 0 A FUNNY & K9D
DRUNK1 ALW WANT+ 6LAU< & HUG Y & S+ S;GS
& D.E4
  ,FUNNY H[ ! SA4E/ GUYS C 2 HAPPY
DRUNKS4                              #HG
  8,HEY1 ,JUNIOR10 HE SD4 8,HOP ON MY
PONY1 MAN40
  ,S ,I HOPP$ ONTO ! BACK ( ,EUG5E'S
BIKE1 & (F WE W5T1 B>ELY 9 3TROL4 ,I J
CLOS$ MY EYES & HELD ON4
  ,& PRETTY SOON1 ,EUG5E GOT ME 6S*OOL4
  ,WE PULL$ UP 9 FRONT &A LOT ( MY
CLASSMATES J />$4 ,I M1N1 ,EUG5E _H
BRAIDS D[N 6HIS BUTT1 = "O1 & NEI ( U
WORE HELMETS1 =! O!R4
  ,I SUPPOSE WE LOOK$ .DANG]\S4
  8,MAN10 HE SD4 8,"!'S A LOT ( :ITE P
"H40
  8,Y1H40
  8,Y DO+ ALL "R ) !M80
  8,I DON'T "K4 ,I GUESS40
  8,X'S PRETTY COOL1 Y DO+ ?10 HE SD4
  8,Y ?9K80
  8,Y1H1 MAN1 ,I CD N"E D X4 ,I'M A
WUSS40
  ,W[1 ,I FELT PR\D4
  8,?ANKS =! RIDE10 ,I SD4
  8,Y BET10 ,EUG5E SD4
  ,HE LAU<$ & BUZZ$ AWAY4 ,I WALK$ UP 6!
S*OOL & TRI$ 6IGNORE ! />ES ( MY     #HH
CLASSMATES4
  ,& !N ,I SAW ,ROG] WALK \ ! FRONT
DOOR4
  ,MAN1 ,I 0 GO+ 6H 6FI<T4 ,%IT1 MY :OLE
LIFE IS A FI<T4
  8,HEY10 ,ROG] SD4
  8,HEY10 ,I SD4
  8,:O 0 T ON ! BIKE80 HE ASK$4
  8,OH1 T 0 MY DAD'S BE/ FR40
  8,T 0 A COOL BIKE10 HE SD4 8,V9TAGE40
  8,Y1H1 HE J GOT X40
  8,Y RIDE ) HM A LOT80
  8,YES10 ,I SD4 ,I LI$4
  8,COOL10 ,ROG] SD4
  8,Y1H1 COOL10 ,I SD4
  8,ALL "R1 !N10 HE SD4 8,I'LL SEE Y
>.D40
  ,& !N HE WALK$ AWAY4
  ,W[1 HE DIDN'T KICK MY ASS4 ,HE 0 AC-
TU,Y NICE4 ,HE PD ME "S RESPECT4 ,HE PD
RESPECT 6,EUG5E & 8 BIKE4
  ,MAYBE ,GR&MA 0 "R4 ,MAYBE ,I _H *AL-
L5G$ ! ALPHA DOG & 0 N[ 2+ REW>D$ = X4
  ,I LOVE MY GR&"M4 ,%E'S ! SM>TE/ P]SON
ON ! PLANET4                         #HI
  ,FEEL+ ALM L A HUMAN 2+1 ,I WALK$ 96!
S*OOL & SAW ,P5ELOPE ! ,B1UTI;L4
  8,HEY1 ,P5ELOPE10 ,I SD1 HOP+ T %E
KNEW ,I 0 N[ A3EPT$ 0! DOG PACK4
  ,%E DIDN'T EV5 RESPOND 6ME4 ,MAYBE %E
_HN'T HE>D ME4
  8,HEY1 ,P5ELOPE10 ,I SD AG4
  ,%E LOOK$ AT ME & SNI6$4
  ,,%E ,,SNI6$6
  ,,L ,I ,,SMELL$ ,,BAD ,,OR ,,"S?+6
  8,D ,I "K Y80 %E SD4
  ,"! 7 ONLY AB "O HUNDR$ /UD5TS 9 !
:OLE S*OOL1 "R8 ,S ( C\RSE1 %E KNEW ME4
,%E 0 J 2+ A BIT*4
  8,I'M ,JUNIOR10 ,I SD4 8,I M1N1 ,I'M
,>NOLD40
  8,OH1 T'S "R10 %E SD4 8,Y'RE ! BOY :O
C'T FIGURE \ 8 [N "N40
  ,H] FRS GI7L$4
  ,I 0 S A%AM$4 ,I MI<T H IMPRESS$ ! K+1
B ! QUE5 / HAT$ ME4 ,I GUESS MY GR&"M
DIDN'T "K "EY?+4


                                     #IJ
























             ,TE>S (A ,CL[N          #IA

  ,:5 ,I 0 TWELVE1 ,I FELL 9 LOVE ) AN
,9DIAN GIRL "ND ,DAWN4 ,%E 0 TALL & BR[N
& 0 ! BE/ TRADI;NAL P[W[ D.ER ON ! REZ4
,H] BRAIDS1 WRAPP$ 9 OTT] FUR1 7 LEG5-
D>Y4 ,( C\RSE1 %E DIDN'T C>E AB ME4 ,%E
MO/LY MADE FUN ( ME 7%E CALL$ ME ,JUNIOR
,HI< ,HONKY = "S R1SON ,I N"E "U/OOD74
,B T J MADE ME LOVE H] EV5 M4 ,%E 0 \ (
MY L1GUE1 & EV5 ?\< ,I 0 ONLY TWELVE1 ,I
KNEW T ,I'D 2 "O ( ^? GUYS :O ALW FELL 9
LOVE )! UNR1*A#1 UNGETTA#1 & UN9T]E/$4
  ,"O NI<T1 AT AB TWO 9 ! MORN+1 :5 ,R[-
DY SLEPT OV] AT MY H\SE1 ,I MADE A FULL
3FES.N4
  8,MAN10 ,I SD4 8,I LOVE ,DAWN S M*40
  ,HE 0 PRET5D+ 6BE ASLEEP ON ! FLOOR (
MY ROOM4
  8,R[DY10 ,I SD4 8,>E Y AWAKE80
  8,NO40
  8,DID Y HE> :AT ,I SD80
  8,NO40
  8,I SD ,I LOVE ,DAWN S M*40
  ,HE 0 QUIET4
  8,>5'T Y GO+ 6SAY ANY?+80 ,I       #IB
ASK$4
  8,AB :AT80
  8,AB :AT ,I J SD40
  8,I DIDN'T HE> Y SAY ANY?+40
  ,HE 0 J SCREW+ ) ME4
  8,-E ON1 ,R[DY1 ,I'M TRY+ 6TELL Y "S?+
MAJOR40
  8,Y'RE J 2+ /UPID10 HE SD4
  8,:AT'S S /UPID AB X80
  8,DAWN DOESN'T GIVE A %IT AB Y10 HE
SD4
  ,& T MADE ME CRY4 ,MAN1 ,I'VE ALW CRI$
TOO EASILY4 ,I CRY :5 ,I'M HAPPY OR SAD4
,I CRY :5 ,I'M ANGRY4 ,I CRY 2C ,I'M
CRY+4 ,X'S W1K4 ,X'S ! OPPOSITE ( W>RI-
OR4
  8,QUIT CRY+10 ,R[DY SD4
  8,I C'T HELP X10 ,I SD4 8,I LOVE H] M
?AN ,I'VE "E LOV$ ANYBODY40
  ,Y1H1 ,I 0 Q ! DRAMATIC TWELVE-YE>-
OLD4
  8,PL1SE10 ,R[DY SD4 8,/OP T BAWL+1
OKAY80
  8,OKAY1 OKAY10 ,I SD4 8,I'M SORRY40
  ,I WIP$ MY FACE ) "O ( MY PILL[S   #IC
& ?REW X ACR ! ROOM4
  8,JESUS1 Y'RE A WIMP10 ,R[DY SD4
  8,J DON'T TELL ANYBODY ,I CRI$ AB
,DAWN10 ,I SD4
  8,H ,I "E TOLD ANYBODY YR SECRETS80
,R[DY ASK$4
  8,NO40
  8,OKAY1 !N1 ,I WON'T TELL ANYBODY Y
CRI$ OV] A DUMB GIRL40
  ,& HE DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY4 ,R[DY 0 MY
SECRET-KEEP]4













                                     #ID
























                ,HALL[E5             #IE

  ,AT S*OOL TD1 ,I W5T DRESS$ Z A HOME.S
DUDE4 ,X 0 A PRETTY EASY CO/UME = ME4
,"!'S N M* DI6];E 2T MY GD & BAD CLO!S1
S ,I PRETTY M* LOOK HALF-HOME.S ANYWAY4
  ,& ,P5ELOPE W5T DRESS$ Z A HOME.S WOM-
AN4 ,( C\RSE1 %E 0 ! MO/ B1UTI;L HOME.S
WOMAN :O "E LIV$4
  ,WE MADE A CUTE C\PLE4
  ,( C\RSE1 WE W]5'T A C\PLE AT ALL1 B
,I / F.D ! NE$ 6-;T ON \R -MON TA/E4
  8,HEY10 ,I SD4 8,WE H ! SAME CO/UME40
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SP>E *ANGE =! HOME.S4                #IG
  ,OH1 PL5TY ( P 7 HAPPY 6GIVE ME SP>E
*ANGE4 ,& M ?AN A FEW ( !M GAVE ME C&Y
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  ,& MY DAD 0 HOME & SOB]1 & HE GAVE ME
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MI<T D 6ME4
  ,AB T5 O'C1 Z ,I 0 WALK+ HOME1 ?REE
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  ,& SPIT ON ME4
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  ,B ! SPIT MADE ME FEEL L AN 9SECT4
  ,L A SLUG4
  ,L A SLUG BURN+ 6D1? F SALTY SPIT4
  ,!Y DIDN'T B1T ME UP TOO BAD4 ,I CD
TELL !Y DIDN'T WANT 6PUT ME 9 ! HOSPITAL
OR ANY?+4 ,MO/LY !Y J WANT$ 6REM9D   #IH
ME T ,I 0 A TRAITOR4 ,& !Y WANT$ 6/1L MY
C&Y &! M"OY4
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DOLL> BILLS4
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_H MADE ME FEEL PRETTY GD AB MYF4
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H[ ,R[DY & ,I US$ 6TRICK-OR-TR1T TGR4
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T IF ,I'D BE5 ) HM1 ,I N"E WD H GOTT5
ASSAULT$4
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HURT ME T WAY4 ,N"E4
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  ,! NEXT MORN+1 AT S*OOL1 ,I WALK$ UP
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  8,I'M SORRY10 ,I SD4
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  8,OH1 MY ,GOD1 ": DID !Y KICK Y80
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  8,T'S T]RI#4 ,DID Y SEE A DOCTOR80
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8,I'LL / PUT YR "N ON ! M"OY :5 ,I S5D
X40
  8,W[10 ,I SD4 8,T'S RE,Y COOL4 ,?ANK
Y40
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  8,HEY60 ,I CALL$ AF H]4
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OPE / TR1T$ ME PRETTY M* ! SAME4 ,%E
DIDN'T RE,Y SAY M* 6ME4 ,& ,I DIDN'T RE-
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  8,HEY1 BU4Y10 ,I WD H SD4 8,H[ D ,I
MAKE A B1UTI;L :ITE GIRL FALL 9 LOVE )
ME80
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H 6D IS *ANGE ! WAY Y LOOK1 ! WAY Y
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