,,! ,,?IRTE5? ,,TALE

          ,,DIANE ,,SETT]FIELD

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     ,,ISBN-#AC3 #IGH-J-GDCB-IHJB-E
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            & ,NAD9E ,BU/ON
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             ,9 #G ,VOLUMES
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        ,PAGES ;I-;VIII & #A-IB
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       ,,SPECIAL ,,SYMBOLS ,,US$    ;III
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                                     ;IV
























                                      ;V









               ,9 MEMORY

    ,IVY ,DORA & ,FR$ ,H>OLD ,MORRIS
             ,COR9A ,E!L &
      ,AMBROSE ,*>LES ,SETT]FIELD










                                     ;VI
























                                    ;VII
  ,ALL *N MY?OLOGIZE _! BIR?4 ,X IS A
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                                   ;VIII
























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  ,! SPACE 2T ! FLOOR &! B$ FRAME _H
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P>APH]NALIA3 SUNGLASSES1 SP>E FILM =!
CAM]A1 ! SWIMM+ CO/UME T MY "M N"E WORE
B N"E ?REW AWAY4 ,ON ! O!R SIDE 0 A C>D-
BO>D BOX4 ,MY F+]S FUM#D )! CORRUGAT$
FLAPS1 F.D A WAY IN1 & RUMMAG$4 ,! TAN-
GL$ SKE9 ( ,*RI/MAS-TREE LI<TS4 ,F1!RS
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,I 0 "U ? B$ ,I _H 2LIEV$ 9 ,"F      #CA
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  ,WRI7L+ \ F "U ! B$1 ,I 4LODG$ AN OLD
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! FRILL (! VAL.E4 ,I REMEMB]$ ! T9--X _H
BE5 "! ="E4 ,A PICTURE ( ,SCOTTI% CRAGS
& FIRS ON A LID TOO TI<T 6OP54 ,ABS5TLY
,I TRI$ ! LID4 ,X GAVE WAY S EASILY "U
MY OLD]1 /R;G] F+]S T ,I FELT A PANG (
%OCK4 ,9SIDE 0 ,"F'S PASSPORT & V>I\S1
DI6]5TLY SIZ$ PIECES ( PAP]4 ,=MS1 "P
PR9T$1 "P H&WRITT54 ,"H & "! A SIGNA-
TURE4
  ,= ME1 6SEE IS 6R1D4 ,X HAS ALW BE5 T
WAY4 ,I FLICK$ "? ! DOCU;TS4 ,MY P>5TS'
M>RIAGE C]TIFICATE4 ,_! BIR? C]TIFI-
CATES4 ,MY [N BIR? C]TIFICATE4 ,R$ PR9T
ON CR1M PAP]4 ,MY "F'S SIGNATURE4 ,I RE-
FOLD$ X C>E;LLY1 PUT X )! O!R =MS ,I'D
ALR R1D1 & PASS$ ON 6! NEXT4 ,X 0 ID5TI-
CAL4 ,I 0 PUZZL$4 ,:Y WD ,I H TWO BIR?
C]TIFICATES8
  ,!N ,I SAW X4 ,SAME "F1 SAME "M1 SAME
DATE ( BIR?1 SAME PLACE ( BIR?1 .DI6]5T
."N4                                 #CB
  ,:AT HAPP5$ 6ME 9 T MO;T8 ,9SIDE MY
H1D "EY?+ CAME 6PIECES & CAME BACK TGR
DI6]5TLY1 9 "O ( ^? KALEIDOSCOPIC REOR-
GANIZ,NS ! BRA9 IS CAPA# (4
  ,I _H A TW94
  ,IGNOR+ ! TUMULT 9 MY H1D1 MY CURI\S
F+]S UNFOLD$ A SECOND PIECE ( PAP]4
  ,A D1? C]TIFICATE4
  ,MY TW9 0 D1D4

  ,N[ ,I KNEW :AT X 0 T _H /A9$ ME4
  ,?\< ,I 0 /UPEFI$ 0! 4COV]Y1 ,I 0 N
SURPRIS$4 ,= "! _H ALW BE5 A FEEL+4 ,!
K1 TOO FAMILI> 6H "E NE$$ ^WS1 T "! 0
."S?+4 ,AN ALT]$ QUAL;Y 9 ! AIR 6MY "R4
,A COAGUL,N ( LI<T4 ,"S?+ PECULI> 6ME T
SET EMPTY SPACE VIBRAT+4 ,MY PALE %AD[4
  ,PRESS+ MY H&S 6MY "R SIDE1 ,I B[$ MY
H1D1 NOSE ALM 6%\LD]4 ,X 0 AN OLD GES-
TURE1 "O T _H ALW -E 6ME 9 PA91 9 P]-
PLEX;Y1 "U DURESS ( ANY K9D4 ,TOO FAMIL-
I> 6BE POND]$ UNTIL N[1 MY 4COV]Y REV1L$
XS M1N+4 ,I 0 LOOK+ = MY TW94 ,": %E %D
H BE54 ,0MY SIDE4
  ,:5 ,I SAW ! TWO PIECES ( PAP]1    #CC
& :5 ! _W _H RECOV]$ XF 5 6/>T TURN+ AG
ON XS SL[ AXIS1 ,I ?"\1 ,S T'S X4 ,LOSS4
,SORR[4 ,L"OLI;S4 ,"! 0 A FEEL+ T _H
KEPT ME A"P F O!R P--& KEPT ME -PANY--
ALL MY LIFE1 & N[ T ,I _H F.D ! C]TIFI-
CATES1 ,I KNEW :AT ! FEEL+ WAS4 ,MY SIS-
T]4
  ,AF A L;G "T "! CAME ! S.D (! KIT*5
DOOR OP5+ D[N/AIRS4 ,P9S & NE$LES 9 MY
CALVES1 ,I W5T Z F> Z ! L&+1 & ,MRS4
,ROBB APPE>$ AT ! BOTTOM (! /AIRS4
  8,IS "EY?+ ALL "R1 ,M>G>ET80
  8,YES40
  8,H Y GOT "EY?+ Y NE$80
  8,YES40
  8,WELL1 -E R.D IF Y NE$ TO40
  8,ALL "R40
  8,!Y WON'T 2 L;G N[1 YR MUM & DAD40
  ,%E LEFT4
  ,I RETURN$ ! DOCU;TS 6! T9 & PUT ! T9
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TGR )! EYES ( ANO!R4 ,MY FACE T+L$ "U H]
GAZE4 ,I CD FEEL ! B"OS "U MY SK94   #CD
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  ,I OP5$ ! DOOR1 & ON ! L&+ ,"F GAVE ME
A HUG4
  8,WELL D"O10 HE SD4 8,GD M>KS ALL
R.D40
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TWO->M$ A6AIR1 & KISS$ ! TOP ( MY H1D4
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  8,I WON'T40
  ,LAT] ,I HE>D MY P>5TS GO+ AB ! BUSI;S
( GETT+ R1DY = B$4 ,"F OP5+ ! M$IC9E
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SLEEP40 ,!N ! DOOR (! GUE/ ROOM CLOS$4
,A FEW MO;TS LAT] ! B$ CR1K$ 9 ! O!R
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  ,I KNEW AB TW9S4 ,A CELL T %D      #CE
ORD9>ILY 2COME "O P]SON 9EXPLICABLY BE-
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  ,I 0 A TW94
  ,MY TW9 0 D1D4
  ,:AT DID T MAKE ME N[8
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SILV]-P9K CRESC5T ON MY TORSO4 ,! %AD[
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FLE%1 ,I EXPLOR$ MY BODY = EVID;E ( XS
ANCI5T HI/ORY4 ,I 0 Z COLD Z A CORPSE4

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,I CD TELL ,MISS ,W9T]1 ! WR;G K9D ( BI-
OGRAPH]4 ,I _H NO 9T]E/ 9 3TEMPOR>Y
WRIT+4 ,I _H R1D N"O ( ,MISS ,W9T]'S
BOOKS4 ,I 0 AT HOME 9 LIBR>IES & >*IVES
& _H N"E 9T]VIEW$ A LIV+ WRIT] 9 MY
LIFE4 ,I 0 M AT EASE ) D1D P & WAS1 IF !
TRU? 2 TOLD1 N]V\S (! LIV+4
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9 ! LR4                              #CF
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COCOA WD D4
  ,WAIT+ =! MILK 6H1T1 ,I LOOK$ \ (! W9-
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*EEK 6COLD1 GLASSY *EEK4 ,IF Y _H SE5 U1
Y WD H "KN T 7 X N = ? GLASS1 "! 0 RE,Y
NO?+ 6TELL U A"P4
















            ,,?IRTE5 ,,TALES         #CG

  ..,TELL ME ! .TRU?4 ,! ^WS F ! LR 7
TRAPP$ 9 MY H1D1 TRAPP$1 X SEEM$1 2N !
SLOP+ CEIL+ ( MY ATTIC FLAT1 L A BIRD T
HAS GOT 9 D[N ! *IMNEY4 ,X 0 NATURAL T !
BOY'S PLEA %D H A6ECT$ ME2 ,I :O _H N"E
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9 SECRET4 ..,TELL ME ! .TRU?4 ,Q4
  ,B ,I RESOLV$ 6PUT ! ^WS &! LR \ ( MY
H1D4
  ,X 0 NE>LY "T4 ,I MOV$ SWIFTLY4 ,9 !
BA?ROOM ,I SOAP$ MY FACE & BRU%$ MY
TEE?4 ,0?REE M9UTES 6EI<T ,I 0 9 MY
NI<TDRESS & SLIPP]S1 WAIT+ =! KETTLE TO
BOIL4 ,QKLY1 QKLY4 ,A M9UTE 6EI<T4 ,MY
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"T4
  ,! H\RS 2T EI<T 9 ! EV5+ & "O OR TWO 9
! MORN+ H ALW BE5 MY MAGIC H\RS4 ,AG/ !
BLUE C&LEWICK B$SPR1D ! :ITE PAGES ( MY
OP5 BOOK1 ILLUM9AT$ 0A CIRCLE ( LAMP-
LI<T1 7 ! GATEWAY 6ANO!R _W4 ,B T NI<T !
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SOON Z ,I _H MANAG$ X1 A VOICE 9T]V5$--
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! D>K ,I HE>D !M L\D]4 ..,TELL ME !
.TRU?4 '''
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7 6LOOK 96X TD Y WD SEE :AT ,I SAW T
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BOOK 9 ,JAPANESE1 ANO!R 9 ,POLI% & "S
POEMS 9 ,OLD ,5GLI%4 ,:Y D WE KEEP ^!
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CAB9ET IS ": WE KEEP ! ESOT]IC1 ! VALUA-
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3T5TS (! 5TIRE RE/ (! %OP1 M EV54
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BORN4 ,:AT Y GET WON'T 2 ! TRU?2 X W 2 A
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N+ :EEL 0 WET1 & X LEFT ! TANG ( METAL
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! K+'S TE>S LEFT SALT BURNS ON 8 FACE4
,! /ORIES 7 %OT "? ) AN UNFAMILI> MOOD4
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8 DAU<T] RE/OR$ 6LIFE 0A /RANG]'S KISS1
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MAN1 ! M]MAID WALK$--B ONLY :5 X 0 TOO
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F+] 7 S5D+ ME A MESSAGE3 ..,N _M PAGES
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?IRTE5? TALE M/ 2 A V %ORT "O4
  ,I 3T9U$ MY R1D+1 F9I%$ TALE TWELVE &
TURN$ ! PAGE4
  ,BLANK4
  ,I FLICK$ BACK1 =W>D AG4 ,NO?+4
  ..,"! 0 NO ?IRTE5? .TALE4
  ,"! 0 A SU45 RU% 9 MY H1D1 ,I FELT !
SICK DIZZI;S (! DEEP-SEA DIV] -E TOO FA/
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CALL$ =4
  ,I R1D .OLD NOVELS4 ,! R1SON IS SIM-
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D1?S1 NO# SACRIFICES & MIRACUL\S RE/ORA-
;NS1 TRAGIC SEP>,NS & UNHOP$-= REUNIONS1
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VIEW1 3/ITUTE AN 5D+ WOR? ! WAIT4 ,!Y %D
-E AF ADV5TURES1 P]ILS1 DANG]S & DILEM-
MAS1 & W9D "EY?+ UP NICE & N1TLY4 ,5D+S
L ? >E 6BE F.D M -MONLY 9 OLD NOVELS ?AN
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(4 ,MY "F _H TAK5 ME 6TASK ON ? TOPIC _M
"TS DUR+ \R DAILY TALKS AB BOOKS4 ,HE
R1DS Z M* Z ,I D1 B M WIDELY1 & ,I H GRT
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PRECISE1 M1SUR$ ^WS ! B1UTI;L DESOL,N HE
FEELS AT ! CLOSE ( NOVELS ": ! MESSAGE
IS T "! IS NO 5D 6HUMAN SU6]+1 ONLY EN-
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: E*O L;G] 9 ! MEMORY ?AN L\D]1 M EXPLO-
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9 MY OLD HABITS4 ,N T HE BLAMES ME = X4
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TOO _M BOOKS 9 ! _W 6R1D 9 A S+LE LIFE-
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  ,8 EYEBR[S LIFT$ 0ANO!R FEW MILLIME-
T]S4
  8,I CDN'T SLEEP1 S ,I CAME D[N 6GET !
BOOK40                               #DG
  ,I WAIT$ = ,"F 6SP1K1 B HE DIDN'T4 ,HE
0 ?9K+1 A SMALL FR[N CR1S+ 8 BR[4 ,AF A
"T ,I SPOKE AG4 8,:Y IS X KEPT 9 ! CABI-
NET8 ,:AT MAKES X S VALUA#80
  ,"F PULL$ HMF AWAY F 8 TRA9 ( ?"\ 6AN-
SW]4 8,"PLY 2C X'S ! F/ EDI;N (! F/ BOOK
0! MO/ FAM\S LIV+ WRIT] 9 ! ,5GLI% LAN-
GUAGE4 ,B MO/LY 2C X'S FLAW$4 ,E FOLL[+
EDI;N IS CALL$ ..,TALES ( ,*ANGE &
.,DESP],N4 ,NO M5;N ( ?IRTE54 ,Y'LL H
NOTIC$ "! >E ONLY TWELVE /ORIES80
  ,I NO4$4
  8,PRESUMABLY "! 7 ORIG9,Y SUPPOS$ 6BE
?IRTE51 !N ONLY TWELVE 7 SUBMITT$4 ,B "!
0 A MIXUP )! JACKET DESIGN &! BOOK 0
PR9T$ )! ORIG9AL TITLE & ONLY TWELVE /O-
RIES4 ,!Y _H 6BE RECALL$40
  8,B YR COPY '''0
  8,SLIPP$ "? ! NET4 ,"O (A BAT* S5T \
0MISTAKE 6A %OP 9 ,DORSET1 ": "O CU/OM]
B"\ A COPY 2F ! %OP GOT ! MESSAGE 6PACK
!M UP & S5D !M BACK4 ,?IRTY YE>S AGO HE
R1LIZ$ :AT ! VALUE MI<T 2 & SOLD X 6A
COLLECTOR4 ,! COLLECTOR'S E/ATE 0 AUC;N$
9 ,SEPTEMB] & ,I B"\ X4 ,)! PRO-     #DH
CE$S F ! ,AVIGNON D1L40
  8,! ,AVIGNON D1L80 ,X _H TAK5 TWO YE>S
6NEGOTIATE ! ,AVIGNON D1L4 ,X 0 "O (
,"F'S MO/ LUCRATIVE SU3ESSES4
  8,Y WORE ! GLOVES1 ( C\RSE80 HE ASK$
%EEPI%LY4
  8,:O D Y TAKE ME =80
  ,HE SMIL$ 2F 3T9U+4 8,ALL T EF=T =
NO?+40
  8,:AT D Y M1N80
  8,RECALL+ ALL ^? BOOKS 2C ! TITLE 0
WR;G4 ,YET P / CALL X ! .,?IRTE5
.,TALES1 EV5 ?\< X'S BE5 PUBLI%$ Z
..,TALES ( ,*ANGE & .,DESP],N = HALF A
C5TURY40
  8,:Y IS T80
  8,X'S :AT A -B9,N ( FAME & SECRECY
DOES4 ,) R1L K AB H] S SCANT1 FRAG;TS (
9=M,N L ! /ORY (! RECALL$ F/ EDI;N TAKE
ON AN IMPORT.E 2Y _! WEI<T4 ,X HAS 2COME
"P ( H] MY?OLOGY4 ,! MY/]Y (! ?IRTE5?
TALE4 ,X GIVES P "S?+ 6SPECULATE AB40
  ,"! IS A %ORT SIL;E4 ,!N1 DIRECT+ 8
GAZE VAGUELY 96! MI4LE 4T.E1 & SP1K+
LI<TLY S T ,I CD PICK UP 8 ^WS OR    #DI
LET !M G1 Z ,I *OSE1 HE MURMUR$1 8,& N[
A BIOGRAPHY ''' ,H[ UNEXPECT$40
  ,I REMEMB]$ ! LR1 MY FE> T XS WRIT] 0
N 6BE TRU/$4 ,I REMEMB]$ ! 9SI/;E (! "Y
MAN'S ^WS1 8,TELL ME ! TRU?40 ,I REMEM-
B]$ ! .,?IRTE5 .,TALES T TOOK POSSES.N (
ME ) XS F/ ^WS & HELD ME CAPTIVE ALL
NI<T4 ,I WANT$ 6BE HELD HO/AGE AG4
  8,I DON'T "K :AT 6D10 ,I TOLD MY "F4
  8,X IS DI6]5T F :AT Y H D"O 2F4 ,VIDA
,W9T] IS A LIV+ SUBJECT4 ,9T]VIEWS 9/1D
( >*IVES40
  ,I NO4$4
  8,B Y WANT 6"K ! P]SON :O WROTE !
.,?IRTE5 .,TALES40
  ,I NO4$ AG4
  ,MY "F PUT 8 H&S ON 8 KNEES & SI<$4
,HE "KS :AT R1D+ IS4 ,H[ X TAKES Y4
  8,:5 DOES %E WANT Y 6G80
  8,MON"D10 ,I TOLD HM4
  8,I'LL RUN Y 6! /,N1 % ,I80
  8,?ANK Y4 ,&--0
  8,YES80
  8,C ,I H "S "T (F8 ,I "\ 6D "S M R1D+
2F ,I G UP "!40                      #EJ
  8,YES10 HE SD1 )A SMILE T DIDN'T HIDE
8 WORRY4 8,YES1 ( C\RSE40

  ,"! FOLL[$ "O (! MO/ GLORI\S "TS ( MY
ADULT LIFE4 ,=! F/ "T "E ,I _H ON MY B$-
SIDE TA# A PILE ( BR&-NEW1 GLOSSY PAP]-
BACKS1 PUR*AS$ F A REGUL> BOOK%OP4
.,2TWIXT .& .,2T 0,VIDA ,W9T]2 .,TWICE
.,IS .,="E 0,VIDA ,W9T]2 .,HAUNT+S 0,VI-
DA ,W9T]2 ..,\ (! .,>C 0,VIDA ,W9T]2
.,RULES .( .,A6LIC;N 0,VIDA ,W9T]2 .,!
.,BIR?"D .,GIRL 0,VIDA ,W9T]2 .,! .,PUP-
PET .,%[ 0,VIDA ,W9T]4 ,! COV]S1 ALL 0!
SAME >TI/1 GL[$ ) H1T & P[]3 AMB] & SC>-
LET1 GOLD & DEEP PURPLE4 ,I EV5 B"\ A
COPY ( ..,TALES ( ,*ANGE & .,DESP],N2 XS
TITLE LOOK$ B>E )\T ! .,?IRTE5 T MAKES
MY "F'S COPY S VALUA#4 ,8 [N COPY ,I _H
RETURN$ 6! CAB9ET4
  ,( C\RSE "O ALW HOPES = "S?+ SPECIAL
:5 "O R1DS AN AU?OR "O HASN'T R1D 2F1 &
,MISS ,W9T]'S BOOKS GAVE ME ! SAME ?RILL
,I _H :5 ,I 4COV]$ ! ,L&I] DI>IES1 = IN-
/.E4 ,B X 0 M ?AN T4 ,I H ALW BE5 A
R1D]2 ,I H R1D AT E /AGE ( MY        #EA
LIFE1 & "! HAS N"E BE5 A "T :5 R1D+ 0 N
MY GRTE/ JOY4 ,& YET ,I _C PRET5D T !
R1D+ ,I H D"O 9 MY ADULT YE>S MAT*ES 9
XS IMPACT ON MY S\L ! R1D+ ,I DID Z A *4
,I / 2LIEVE 9 /ORIES4 ,I / =GET MYF :5
,I AM 9 ! MI4LE (A GD BOOK4 ,YET X IS N
! SAME4 ,BOOKS >E1 = ME1 X M/ 2 SD1 !
MO/ IMPORTANT ?+2 :AT ,I _C =GET IS T "!
0 A "T :5 !Y 7 AT ONCE M BANAL & M ESS5-
TIAL ?AN T4 ,:5 ,I 0 A *1 BOOKS 7 ."EY-
?+4 ,& S "! IS 9 ME1 ALW1 A NO/ALGIC
YE>N+ =! .LO/ PL1SURE ( BOOKS4 ,X IS N A
YE>N+ T "O "E EXPECTS 6BE FULFILL$4 ,&
DUR+ ? "T1 ^! "DS :5 ,I R1D ALL "D &
HALF ! NI<T1 :5 ,I SLEPT "U A C.T]PANE
/REWN ) BOOKS1 :5 MY SLEEP 0 BLACK &
DR1M.S & PASS$ 9 A FLA% & ,I WOKE 6R1D
AG--! LO/ JOYS ( R1D+ RETURN$ 6ME4 ,MISS
,W9T] RE/OR$ 6ME ! VIRG9AL QUALITIES (!
NOVICE R1D]1 & !N ) H] /ORIES %E RAVI%$
ME4
  ,F "T 6"T MY "F WD KNOCK AT ! DOOR AT
! TOP (! /AIRS4 ,HE />$ AT ME4 ,I M/ H
_H T DAZ$ LOOK 9T5SE R1D+ GIVES Y4 8,Y
WON'T =GET 6EAT1 W Y80 HE SD1 Z HE   #EB
H&$ ME A BAG ( GROC]IES OR A P9T ( MILK4

  ,I WD H LIK$ 6/AY 9 MY FLAT ="E ) ^?
BOOKS4 ,B IF ,I 0 6G 6,YORK%IRE 6MEET
,MISS ,W9T]1 !N "! 0 O!R "W 6BE D"O4 ,I
TOOK A "D (F F R1D+ & W5T 6! LIBR>Y4 ,9
! NEWSPAP] ROOM1 ,I LOOK$ AT ! BOOKS
PAGES (! N,NAL NEWSPAP]S = PIECES ON
,MISS ,W9T]'S REC5T NOVELS4 ,= E NEW
BOOK T CAME \1 %E SUMMON$ A NUMB] (
J\RNALI/S 6A HOTEL 9 ,H>ROGATE1 ": %E
MET !M "O 0"O & GAVE !M1 SEP>ATELY1 :AT
%E T]M$ H] LIFE /ORY4 ,"! M/ H BE5 DOZ5S
( ^! /ORIES 9 EXI/;E1 HUNDR$S P]H4 ,I
F.D ALM TW5TY )\T LOOK+ V H>D4
  ,AF ! PUBLIC,N ( .,2TWIXT .& .,2T1 %E
0 ! SECRET DAU<T] (A PRIE/ &A S*OOLMIS-
TRESS2 A YE> LAT] 9 ! SAME NEWSPAP] %E
GOT PUBLIC;Y = .,HAUNT+S 0TELL+ H[ %E 0
! RUNAWAY * (A ,P>ISIAN C\RTESAN4 ,= .,!
.,PUPPET .,%[1 %E WAS1 9 V>I\S NEWSPA-
P]S1 AN ORPHAN RAIS$ 9 A ,SWISS 3V5T1 A
/REET * F ! BACK/REETS (! ,EA/ ,5D &!
/IFL$ ONLY GIRL 9 A FAMILY ( T5 BOI/]\S
BOYS4 ,I "PICUL>LY LIK$ ! "O 9 :1    #EC
2COM+ A3ID5T,Y SEP>AT$ 9 ,9DIA F H]
,SCOTTI% MIS.N>Y P>5TS1 %E SCRAP$ \ AN
EXI/;E = H]F 9 ! /REETS ( ,BOMBAY1 MAK+
A LIV+ Z A /ORYTELL]4 ,%E TOLD /ORIES AB
P9E TREES T SMELL$ L ! FRE%E/ CORI&]1
M.TA9S Z B1UTI;L Z ! ,TAJ ,MAHAL1 HA7IS
M DELICI\S ?AN ANY /REET-CORN] PAKORA &
BAGPIPES4 ,OH1 ! S.D (! BAGPIPES6 ,S
B1UTI;L X DEFI$ DESCRIP;N4 ,:5 _M YE>S
LAT] %E 0 A# 6RETURN 6,SCOTL&--A C.TRY
%E _H LEFT Z A T9Y BABY--%E 0 GRAVELY
4APPO9T$4 ,! P9E TREES SMELL$ NO?+ L
CORI&]4 ,SN[ 0 .COLD4 ,HA7IS TA/$ FLAT4
,Z =! BAGPIPES '''
  ,WRY & S5TI;TAL1 TRAGIC & A/R+5T1 -IC
& SLY1 EA* & E "O ( ^! /ORIES 0 A MA/]-
PIECE 9 M9IATURE4 ,=A DI6]5T K9D ( WRIT-
]1 !Y MI<T 2 ! P9NACLE ( H] A*IEVE;T2 =
,VIDA ,W9T] !Y 7 M]E ?R[AWAYS4 ,NO "O1
,I ?9K1 WD H MISTAK5 !M =! TRU?4

  ,! "D 2F MY DE"PURE 0 ,SUN"D & ,I SP5T
! AFN AT MY P>5TS' H\SE4 ,X N"E *ANGES2
A S+LE LUP9E EXHAL,N CD REDUCE X 6RUB#4
  ,MY "M SMIL$ A SMALL1 TAUT SMILE   #ED
& TALK$ B"RLY :ILE WE _H TEA4 ,! NEI<-
BOR'S G>D51 ROAD"WS 9 T[N1 A NEW P]FUME
T _H BR"\ H] UP 9 A RA%4 ,LI<T1 EMPTY
*AT1 PRODUC$ 6KEEP SIL;E AT BAY1 SIL;E 9
: H] DEMONS LIV$4 ,X 0 A GD P]=M.E3 NO?+
6REV1L T %E CD H>DLY BE> 6L1VE ! H\SE1 T
! MO/ M9OR UNEXPECT$ EV5T GAVE H] A MI-
GRA9E1 T %E CD N R1D A BOOK = FE> (!
FEEL+S %E MI<T F9D 9 X4
  ,"F & ,I WAIT$ UNTIL ,"M W5T 6MAKE
FRE% TEA 2F TALK+ AB ,MISS ,W9T]4
  8,X'S N H] R1L "N10 ,I TOLD HM4 8,IF X
0 H] R1L "N1 X WD 2 EASY 6TRACE H]4 ,&
"EY"O :O HAS TRI$ HAS GIV5 UP = WANT (
9=M,N4 ,NO "O "KS EV5 ! SIMPLE/ FACT AB
H]40
  8,H[ CURI\S40
  8,X'S Z IF %E CAME F NO":4 ,Z IF 2F 2+
A WRIT] %E DIDN'T EXI/ AT ALL4 ,Z IF %E
9V5T$ H]F AT ! SAME "T Z H] BOOK40
  8,WE "K :AT %E *OSE =A P5 "N4 ,T M/
REV1L "S?+1 SURELY10 MY "F SU7E/$4
  8,VIDA4 ,F .VITA1 ,LAT91 M1N+ LIFE4
,?\< ,I C'T HELP ?9K+ ( ,FR5*1 TOO40
  .,VIDE 9 ,FR5* M1NS EMPTY4 ,!      #EE
VOID4 ,NO?+;S4 ,B WE DON'T USE ^WS L ? 9
MY P>5TS' H\SE1 S ,I LEFT X = HM 69F]4
  8,Q40 ,HE NO4$4 8,& :AT AB ,W9T]80
  ,W9T]4 ,I LOOK$ \ (! W9D[ = 9SPIR,N4
,2H MY SI/]'S <O/1 D>K BRAN*ES /RET*$
NAK$ ACR ! D>K5+ SKY1 &! FL[] B$S 7 B>E
BLACK SOIL4 ,! GLASS 0 NO PROTEC;N AG/ !
*ILL2 DESPITE ! GAS FIRE1 ! ROOM SEEM$
FILL$ ) BL1K DESPAIR4 ,:AT DID W9T] M1N
6ME8 ,"O ?+ ONLY3 D1?4
  ,"! 0 A SIL;E4 ,:5 X 2CAME NEC 6SAY
"S?+ S Z N 6BURD5 ! PREVI\S EX*ANGE ) AN
9TOL]A# WEI<T1 ,I SD1 8,X'S A SPIKY "N4
;,V & ;,W4 ,VIDA ,W9T]4 ,V SPIKY40
  ,MY "M CAME BACK4 ,PLAC+ CUPS ON SAU-
C]S1 P\R+ TEA1 %E TALK$ ON1 H] VOICE
MOV+ Z FREELY 9 H] TI<TLY POLIC$ PLOT (
LIFE Z ?\< X 7 SEV5 ACRES4
  ,MY ATT5;N W&]$4 ,ON ! MANTEL OV] !
FIREPLACE 0 ! "O OBJECT 9 ! ROOM T MI<T
2 3SID]$ DECORATIVE4 ,A PHOTOGRAPH4 ,E S
(T5 MY "M TALKS AB PUTT+ X AWAY 9 A
DRAW]1 ": X W 2 SAFE F DU/4 ,B MY "F
LIKES 6SEE X1 & S9CE HE S R>ELY OPPOSES
H]1 ON ? %E C$ES 6HM4 ,9 ! PICTURE   #EF
>E A Y\?;L BRIDE & GROOM4 ,"F LOOKS !
SAME Z "E3 QUIETLY H&"S1 ) D>K1 ?"\;L
EYES2 ! YE>S D N *ANGE HM4 ,! WOMAN IS
SC>CELY RECOGNIZA#4 ,A SPONTANE\S SMILE1
LAU<T] 9 H] EYES1 W>M? 9 H] GAZE Z %E
LOOKS AT MY "F4 ,%E LOOKS HAPPY4
  ,TRAG$Y ALT]S "EY?+4
  ,I 0 BORN1 &! WOMAN 9 ! W$D+ PHOTO
4APPE>$4
  ,I LOOK$ \ 96! D1D G>D54 ,AG/ ! FAD+
LI<T1 MY %AD[ HOV]$ 9 ! GLASS1 LOOK+ 96!
D1D ROOM4 ,:AT DID %E MAKE ( U8 ,I WON-
D]$4 ,:AT DID %E ?9K ( \R ATTEMPTS 6P]-
SUADE \RVS T ? 0 LIFE & T WE 7 RE,Y LIV+
X8









                ,,>RIVAL             #EG

  ,I LEFT HOME ON AN ORD9>Y W9T] "D1 &=
MILES MY TRA9 RAN "U A GAUZY :ITE SKY4
,!N ,I *ANG$ TRA9S1 &! CL\DS MASS$4 ,!Y
GREW ?ICK] & D>K]1 M & M BLOAT$1 Z ,I
TRAVEL$ NOR?4 ,AT ANY MO;T ,I EXPECT$ TO
HE> ! F/ SCATT]+ ( DROPS ON ! W9D[PANE4
,YET ! RA9 DID N -E4
  ,AT ,H>ROGATE1 ,MISS ,W9T]'S DRIV]1 A
D>K-HAIR$1 BE>D$ MAN1 0 49CL9$ 6TALK4 ,I
0 GLAD1 = 8 LACK ( 3V]S,N LEFT ME FREE
6/UDY ! UNFAMILI> VIEWS T UNFOLD$ Z SOON
Z WE LEFT ! T[N 2H4 ,I _H N"E BE5 NOR?
2F4 ,MY RESE>*ES _H TAK5 ME 6,LONDON &1
ONCE OR TWICE1 ACR ! *ANNEL 6LIBR>IES &
>*IVES 9 ,P>IS4 ,YORK%IRE 0 A C.TY ,I
KNEW ONLY F NOVELS1 & NOVELS F ANO!R C5-
TURY AT T4 ,ONCE WE LEFT ! T[N 2H1 "! 7
FEW SIGNS (! 3TEMPOR>Y _W1 & X 0 POSSI#
62LIEVE ,I 0 TRAVEL+ 96! PA/ AT ! SAME
"T Z 96! C.TRYSIDE4 ,! VILLAGES 7 QUA9T1
) _! *UR*ES & PUBS & /"O COTTAGES2 !N1 !
F>!R WE W5T1 ! SMALL] ! VILLAGES 2CAME &
! GRT] ! 4T.E 2T !M UNTIL ISOLAT$
F>MH\SES 7 ! ONLY 9T]RUP;NS 6!       #EH
NAK$ W9T] FIELDS4 ,AT LA/ WE LEFT EV5 !
F>MH\SES 2H & X GREW D>K4 ,! C>'S H1D-
LAMPS %[$ ME SWA!S (A COLOR.S1 UNDEF9$
L&SCAPE3 NO F;ES1 NO WALLS1 NO H$GES1 NO
BUILD+S4 ,J A V]GE.S ROAD & EA* SIDE (
X1 VAGUE UNDUL,NS ( D>K;S4
  8,IS ? ! MOORS80 ,I ASK$4
  8,X IS10 ! DRIV] SD1 & ,I L1N$ CLOS]
6! W9D[1 B ALL ,I CD MAKE \ 0 ! WAT]LO7$
SKY T PRESS$ D[N CLAU/ROPHOBIC,Y ON !
L&1 ON ! ROAD1 ON ! C>4 ,2Y A C]TA9 4T.E
EV5 ! LI<T F \R H1DLAMPS 0 EXT+UI%$4
  ,AT AN UNM>K$ JUNC;N WE TURN$ (F !
ROAD & BUMP$ AL;G =A C\PLE ( MILES ON A
/ONY TRACK4 ,WE /OPP$ TWICE =! DRIV] TO
OP5 A GATE & CLOSE X 2H U1 !N ON WE W5T1
JOLT+ & %AK+ = ANO!R MILE4
  ,MISS ,W9T]'S H\SE LAY 2T TWO SL[ RIS-
ES 9 ! D>K;S1 ALM-HILLS T SEEM$ 6M]GE
96EA* O!R & T REV1L$ ! PRES;E (A VALLEY
&A H\SE ONLY AT ! LA/ TURN (! DRIVE4 ,!
SKY 0N[ 0 BLOOM+ %ADES ( PURPLE1 9DIGO &
GUNP[D]1 &! H\SE 2N X CR\*$ L;G & L[ & V
D>K4 ,! DRIV] OP5$ ! C> DOOR = ME1 & ,I
/EPP$ \ 6SEE T HE _H ALR UNLOAD$     #EI
MY CASE & 0 R1DY 6PULL AWAY1 L1V+ ME
AL"O 9 FRONT ( AN UNLIT POR*4 ,B>R$ %UT-
T]S BLACK$ \ ! W9D[S & "! 0 N A S+LE
SIGN ( HUMAN HABIT,N4 ,CLOS$ 9 ^U XF1 !
PLACE SEEM$ 6%UN VISITORS4
  ,I RANG ! BELL4 ,XS CLANG 0 O4LY MUT$
9 ! DAMP AIR4 ,:ILE ,I WAIT$ ,I WAT*$ !
SKY4 ,COLD CREPT "? ! SOLES ( MY %OES1 &
,I RANG ! BELL AG4 ,/ NO "O CAME 6!
DOOR4
  ,AB 6R+ =A ?IRD "T1 ,I 0 CAU<T 0SUR-
PRISE :5 ) NO S.D AT ALL ! DOOR 0 OP5$4
  ,! WOMAN 9 ! DOORWAY SMIL$ PROFES.N,Y
& APOLOGIZ$ = KEEP+ ME WAIT+4 ,AT F/
SI<T %E SEEM$ V ORD9>Y4 ,H] %ORT1 N1T
HAIR 0 ! SAME PALI% %ADE Z H] SK91 & H]
EYES 7 NEI BLUE NOR GRAY NOR GRE54 ,YET
X 0 LESS ! ABS;E ( COLOR ?AN A LACK (
EXPRES.N T MADE H] PLA94 ,) "S W>M? (
EMO;N 9 !M1 H] EYES CD1 ,I SUSPECT$1 H
GL1M$ ) LIFE2 & X SEEM$ 6ME1 Z %E MAT*$
MY SCRUT9Y GL.E = GL.E1 T %E MA9TA9$ H]
9EXPRESSIV;Y ONLY 0DELIB]ATE EF=T4
  8,GD EV5+10 ,I SD4 8,I AM ,M>G>ET
,LEA40                               #FJ
  8,! BIOGRAPH]4 ,WE'VE BE5 EXPECT+ Y40
  ,:AT IS X T ALL[S HUMAN 2+S 6SEE "?
EA* O!R'S PRET5D+S8 ,= ,I "U/OOD Q CLE>-
LY 9 T MO;T T %E 0 ANXI\S4 ,P]H EMO;NS H
A SMELL OR A TA/E2 P]H WE TRANSMIT !M
UN"K+LY 0VIBR,NS 9 ! AIR4 ,:AT"E ! M1NS1
,I KNEW J Z SURELY T X 0 NO?+ AB ME 9
"PICUL> T AL>M$ H]1 B ONLY ! FACT T ,I
_H -E & 0 A /RANG]4
  ,%E U%]$ ME 9 & CLOS$ ! DOOR 2H ME4 ,!
KEY TURN$ 9 ! LOCK )\T A S.D & "! 0 N A
SQU1K Z ! WELL-OIL$ BOLTS 7 SLID NOISE-
.SLY 96PLACE4
  ,/&+ "! 9 MY COAT 9 ! HALLWAY1 ,I EX-
P]I;ED =! F/ "T ! MO/ PROF.D O4;Y (!
PLACE4 ,MISS ,W9T]'S H\SE 0 5TIRELY SI-
L5T4
  ,! WOMAN TOLD ME H] "N 0 ,JUDI?1 & T
%E 0 ! H\SEKEEP]4 ,%E ASK$ AB MY J\RNEY
& M5;N$ ! H\RS ( M1LS &! BE/ "TS 6GET
HOT WAT]4 ,H] M\? OP5$ & CLOS$2 Z SOON Z
H] ^WS FELL F H] LIPS !Y 7 S"M$ 0! BLAN-
KET ( SIL;E T DESC5D$ & EXT+UI%$ !M4 ,!
SAME SIL;E SWALL[$ \R FOOTFALLS1 & MU6L$
! OP5+ & CLOS+ ( DOORS Z %E %[$      #FA
ME1 "O AF ANO!R1 ! D9+ ROOM1 ! DRAW+
ROOM1 ! MUSIC ROOM4
  ,"! 0 NO MAGIC 2H ! SIL;E--X 0 ! S(T-
FURNI%+S T DID X4 ,OV]/U6$ S(AS 7 PIL$ )
VELVET CU%IONS2 "! 7 UPHOL/]$ FOOT/OOLS1
*AISE L\NGES & >M*AIRS2 TAPE/RIES HUNG
ON ! WALLS & 7 US$ Z ?R[S OV] UPHOL/]$
FURNITURE4 ,E FLOOR 0 C>PET$1 E C>PET
OV]LAID ) RUGS4 ,! DAMASK T DRAP$ ! W9-
D[S AL BA6L$ ! WALLS4 ,J Z BLOTT+ PAP]
ABSORBS 9K1 S ALL ? WOOL & VELVET AB-
SORB$ S.D1 ) "O DI6];E3 ,": BLOTT+ PAP]
TAKES UP ONLY EXCESS 9K1 ! FABRIC (!
H\SE SEEM$ 6SUCK 9 ! V ESS;E (! ^WS WE
SPOKE4
  ,I FOLL[$ ! H\SEKEEP]4 ,WE TURN$ LEFT
& "R1 & "R & LEFT1 W5T UP & D[N /AIRS
UNTIL ,I 0 ?OR\<LY 3FUS$4 ,I QKLY LO/
ALL S5SE ( H[ ! 3VOLUT$ 9T]IOR (! H\SE
CORRESPOND$ ) XS \T] PLA9;S4 ,! H\SE _H
BE5 ALT]$ OV] "T1 ,I SUPPOS$1 A4$ 6"H &
"!2 PROBABLY WE 7 9 "S W+ OR EXT5.N IN-
VISI# F ! FRONT4 8,Y'LL GET ! HANG ( X10
! H\SEKEEP] M\!D1 SEE+ MY FACE1 & ,I
"U/OOD H] Z IF ,I 7 LIP-R1D+4 ,FI-   #FB
N,Y WE TURN$ F A HALF-L&+ & CAME 6A
HALT4 ,%E UNLOCK$ A DOOR T OP5$ 96A SIT-
T+ ROOM4 ,"! 7 ?REE M DOORS L1D+ (F X4
8,BA?ROOM10 %E SD1 OP5+ "O (! DOORS1
8B$ROOM10 OP5+ ANO!R1 8& /UDY40 ,! ROOMS
7 Z PA4$ ) CU%IONS & CURTA9S & HANG+S Z
! RE/ (! H\SE4
  8,W Y TAKE YR M1LS 9 ! D9+ ROOM1 OR
"H80 %E ASK$1 9DICAT+ ! SMALL TA# &A S9-
GLE *AIR 0! W9D[4
  ,I DID N "K :E!R M1LS 9 ! D9+ ROOM
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( MY UNC]TA9TY1 ! H\SEKEEP] A4$1 Z ?\<
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,W9T] ALW EATS AL"O40
  8,!N IF X'S ALL ! SAME 6Y1 ,I'LL EAT
"H40
  8,I'LL BR+ Y S\P & S&WI*ES /RAI<TAWAY1
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9 AN ABA%$ SMILE1 0WAY ( APOLOGY1 ,I
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  ,%E LEFT ME 6MY UNPACK+4
  ,9 ! B$ROOM X 0 ! "W (A M9UTE 6UNPACK
MY FEW CLO!S1 MY BOOKS & MY TOILETRIES4
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         ,,MEET+ ,,MISS ,,W9T]       #FE

  ,:E!R 0LUCK OR A3ID5T ,I _C SAY1 B ,I
F.D MY WAY 6! LIBR>Y A FULL TW5TY M9UTES
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X /RUCK ME 0XS M>K$ DI6];E F ! RE/ (!
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LEFT4 ,AF MY F/ GL.ES ,I F.D MYF NO4+4
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WD H D"O X MYF4 ,ALL MY FAVORITES 7 "!1
)A GRT NUMB] ( R>E & VALUA# VOLUMES Z
WELL Z M ORD9>Y1 WELL-?UMB$ COPIES4 ,N
ONLY .,JANE .,EYRE1 .,WU!R+ .,HEI<TS1
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.,OTRANTO1 .,LADY .,AUDLEY'S .,SECRET1
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T MY "F _H GIV5 UP 2LIEV+ 9 XS EXI/;E4
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! F9AL BAY ON ! "R1 "O "PICUL> SET (
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REC5T BOOK4 ,ON PAGE "O AN ELD]LY NUN >-
RIVES AT A SMALL H\SE 9 ! BACK/REETS (
AN UN"ND T[N T SEEMS 6BE 9 ,ITALY2 %E IS
%[N 96A ROOM ": A POMP\S "Y MAN1 :OM WE
TAKE 6BE ,5GLI% OR ,AM]ICAN1 GREETS H] 9
"S SURPRISE4 7,I TURN$ ! PAGE4 ,! F/ P>-
AGRAPHS _H DRAWN ME IN1 J Z ,I _H BE5
DRAWN 9 E "T ,I _H OP5$ "O ( H] BOOKS1 &
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"Y MAN DOES N AT F/ APPRECIATE :AT !
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X S9CE ! NUN 2GAN 6SP1K 6! "Y MAN8 ,S9CE
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  8,Y C'T FOOL ME40
  ,IMP]I\S1 DECLAMATORY1 MAGI/]IAL4
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  ,VIDA ,W9T]'S APPE>.E 0 N CALCULAT$ =
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0 N TRANSP>5T1 T %E CD N SEE /RAI<T "?
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CD SP1K1 ,MISS ,W9T]'S D>K %ADES _H BO2$
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TRUE4 ,ALL MY LIFE & ALL MY EXP]I;E1 !
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H "E R1D1 ALL ( T HAS BE5 *UCK$ ONTO !
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DATE ( H] F/ BOOK1 %E CD N 2 LESS ?AN
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  8,AF ?1 NO M JUMP+ AB 9 ! /ORY4 ,F TM1
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XS PROP] PLACE4 ,NO *1T+4 ,NO LOOK+
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PAGE40
  ,DID %E H ! "R 6PLACE 3DI;NS ON \R
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BORE NO REL,N 6! P9K M.D AT ! BASE ( MY
F+]S1 ! PALE VALLEY ( MY PALM4       #HF
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TIRELY UNRECOGNIZA# L&SCAPE1 L A SC5E
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R1*$ 2H ME = MY *AIR4
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GETS S US$ 6"O'S [N HORRORS1 "O =-   #HG
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  8,I'M SORRY Y DIDN'T WANT 6HE> MY <O/
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LR %E _H S5T ME4 ,! /RA9$ & PA9STAK+ H&
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H&4

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NOTEBOOK F "T 6"T1 ,I FILL$ ! C5T] ( MY
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3JUR+ H] IMAGE 9 MY M9D1 HE>+ H] VOICE1
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L;G-AWAIT$ RA94
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