,,PAULA

           ,,ISABEL ,,ALL5DE

       ,TRANSLAT$ F ! ,SPANI% BY
          ,M>G>ET ,SAY]S ,P$5

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     ,COPY"R #AIID 0,ISABEL ,ALL5DE
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  ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4

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        ,PAGES ;I-;II & #EEC-FCD

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                                     ;II
























                                    #EEC
  ,MY "M HAS -E 6,CALI=NIA =A VISIT4 ,I
NE>LY DID N RECOGNIZE H] AT ! AIRPORT3 A
SMALL ELD]LY WOMAN 9 BLACK1 A PORCELA9
GRT-GR&"M1 )A QUAV]+ VOICE &A FACE RAV-
AG$ 0SORR[ &! FATIGUE (! TW5TY-H\R FLI<T
F ,SANTIAGO4 ,%E 2GAN CRY+ Z %E HU7$ ME1
& 3T9U$ 6CRY ALL ! WAY 6! H\SE1 B1 ONCE
"!1 %E W5T /RAI<T 6A BA?ROOM1 TOOK A %[-
]1 DRESS$ 9 *E];L COLORS1 & CAME D[N-
/AIRS )A SMILE 6SAY HELLO 6,PAULA4 ,EV5
EXPECT+ 6F9D H] WORSE1 %E 0 %OCK$ :5 %E
SAW H]2 ,"M / HAS A VIVID MEMORY ( H]
FAVORITE GR&DAU<T] Z %E US$ 6BE4 ,"O (
,PAULA'S C>EGIV]S TRI$ 63SOLE H]3 8,%E
IS 9 LIMBO1 .,DO@NITA1 ) ALL ! BABIES :O
DI$ )\T 2+ BAPTIZ$ &! S\LS RESCU$ F PUR-
GATORY40 8,:AT A WA/E1 MY ,GOD1 :AT A
WA/E60 MY "M KEPT REP1T+1 B N"E NE>
,PAULA1 2C %E ?9KS %E MAY 2 A# 6HE>4
8,DON'T PROJECT YR ANXIETY & WI%ES ON
H]1 ,MADAME10 ADVIS$ ,DR4 ,%IMA4 8,YR
GR&DAU<T]'S =M] LIFE IS 5D$2 %E IS LIV+
N[ 9 A DI6]5T /ATE ( 3SCI\S;S40 ,Z CD H
BE5 =ESE51 MY "M 0 TAK5 ) ,DR4 ,%IMA4
,HE IS AN AGE.S MAN )A "TWORN       #EED
BODY1 "Y FACE & H&S1 &A ?ICK H1D ( D>K
HAIR2 HE USES SUSP5D]S & WE>S 8 PANTS UP
2N 8 >MPITS4 ,HE WALKS )A SLI<T LIMP &
LAU<S )! MALICI\S EXPRES.N (A * CAU<T )
8 H& 9 ! COOKIE J>4 ,BO? ( !M PRAY =
,PAULA1 %E ) H] ,*RI/IAN FAI?1 & HE ) 8
,BU4HI/4 ,9 MY "M'S CASE1 X IS ! TRIUMPH
( HOPE OV] EXP]I;E1 2C = SEV5TE5 YE>S %E
PRAY$ = ,G5]AL ,P9O*ET 6PASS ON 6HIS RE-
W>D1 & N ONLY IS HE 9 GD H1L?1 HE / HAS
! FRY+ PAN 0! H&LE4 8,GOD IS SL[1 B ,HE
W -E "?10 %E REPLIES :5 %E IS REM9D$ (
?4 8,I ASSURE Y T ,P9O*ET IS H1D$ =!
GRAVE40 ,Z >E WE ALL1 F ! MO;T WE >E
BORN1 DY+ A LL E "D4 ,9 ! AFNS1 ? IRONIC
GR&"M SITS D[N ) H] KNITT+ 2S H] GR&-
DAU<T]'S B$ & TALKS 6H] ) NO ?"\ =! SI-
D]1L SIL;E 96: H] ^WS FALL4 ,%E *ATS AB
! PA/ & REC.TS ! LATE/ GOSSIP1 -;TS ON
H] [N LIFE1 & "S"TS1 A LL \ ( TUNE1 S+S
A HYMN 6! ,VIRG9 ,M>Y1 ! ONLY S;G %E C
REMEMB] ALL ! WAY "?4 ,%E ?9KS T F H]
B$1 ,PAULA "WS SUBTLE MIRACLES1 OBLIGES
U 6GR[1 & T1*ES U ! PA?S ( -PAS.N &
WISDOM4 ,%E SU6]S = ,PAULA & SUF-   #EEE
F]S = ME1 TWO PA9S T _C 2 AVOID$4
  8,": 0 MY DAU<T] 2F ,I BR"\ H] 96! _W8
,": W %E G :5 %E DIES80
  8,PAULA IS ALR 9 ,GOD4 ,GOD IS .:AT
.B9DS1 :AT HOLDS TGR ! FABRIC ( LIFE '''
:AT Y CALL LOVE10 MY "M REPLI$4
  ,]NE/O IS "H1 TAK+ ADVANTAGE (A WEEK'S
VAC,N4 ,HE / MA9TA9S ! ILLU.N T 8 WIFE W
RECOV] SU6ICI5TLY = HM 6H A LIFE ) H]1
EV5 IF V LIMIT$4 ,HE US$ 6?9K A HI<] P[]
WD 9T]V5E & SU45LY1 )A L;G YAWN1 %E WD
AWAKE1 GROPE = 8 H&1 & 9 A VOICE RU/Y )
4USE ASK :AT HAPP5$4 8,DOCTORS >E WR;G
ALL ! "T10 HE TOLD ME1 8& !Y "K V LL AB
! BRA940 ,N[1 H["E1 HE DID N RU% 9 IM-
PETU\SLY 6SEE H]1 B CAUTI\SLY1 Z IF
AFRAID4 ,WE _H TAK5 SPECIAL PA9S )
,PAULA'S HAIR & DRESS$ H] 9 ! CLO!S HE
BR"\ H] ON 8 LA/ VISIT4 ,HE PUT 8 >MS
>.D H] ) GRT T5D];S1 Z H] C>EGIV] SCUR-
RI$ T[>D ! KIT*51 TE>Y-EY$1 & MY "M & ,I
S"\ REFUGE ON ! T]RACE4 ,=! F/ FEW "DS1
HE SP5T H\RS SCRUT9IZ+ ,PAULA'S REAC;NS1
LOOK+ = "S SP>K ( 9TELLIG;E1 B GRADU,Y
HE /OPP$2 WE WAT*$ HM SLUMP1        #EEF
%R9K1 UNTIL ! OPTIMI/IC AURA ( 8 >RIVAL
D>K5$ 96! P5UMBRA T 5VELOPS U ALL4 ,I
TRI$ 6SU7E/ T N[ ,PAULA IS N 8 WIFE B 8
_SUAL SI/] & T HE M/ N FEEL HE IS B.D TO
H]1 B HE LOOK$ AT ME Z IF HE 7 HE>+ A
SACRILEGE4 ,! LA/ NI<T HE BROKE D[N &
R1LIZ$ F9,Y T NO MIRACLE IS GO+ 6GIVE HM
BACK 8 ET]NAL BRIDE & T1 H["E M* HE
LOOK$1 HE WD F9D NO?+ 9 ! UNFA?OMA#
ABYSS ( H] EMPTY EYES4 ,HE WOKE UP T]RI-
FI$ F A NI<TM>E & CAME 9 ! D>K 6MY ROOM1
%AK+ & WET ) SW1T & TE>S1 6TELL ME !
DR1M4
  8,I DR1M$ T ,PAULA 0 CLIMB+ A L;G EX-
T5.N LA4]1 & :5 %E GOT 6! TOP %E L1P$ (F
96EMPTI;S 2F ,I CD /OP H]4 ,I 0 DESP]-
ATE4 ,!N ,I SAW H] LY+ ON A TA#1 &=A L;G
"T %E LAY "!1 UN*ANG$1 :ILE MY LIFE W5T
ON4 ,!N %E 2GAN 6LOSE H] HAIR1 & WEI<T1
UNTIL %E SU45LY SAT UP & TRI$ 6TELL ME
"S?+ B ,I 9T]RUPT$ H] 6REPROA* H] = HAV+
AB&ON$ ME4 ,%E W5T BACK 6SLEEP ON ! TA#1
WA/+ AWAY1 )\T -PLETELY DY+4 ,F9,Y1 ,I
R1LIZ$ T ! ONLY WAY ,I CD HELP H] WD 2
6DE/ROY H] BODY1 S ,I TOOK H] 9     #EEG
MY >MS & PLAC$ H] ON A FIRE4 ,H] BODY
TURN$ 6A%ES1 : ,I SCATT]$ 9 A G>D54 ,!N
H] <O/ CAME 6SAY GDBYE 6! FAMILY1 & LA/1
%E TURN$ 6ME 6TELL ME %E LOV$ ME1 & IMM-
LY 2GAN 6FADE AWAY4 '''0
  8,LET H] G1 ,]NE/O10 ,I BE7$ HM4
  8,C Y D T8 ,IF Y LET H] G1 !N ,I W1
TOO10 HE ANSW]$4 ,X CAME 6ME H[ = C.T.S
C5TURIES WOM5 H LO/ _! *N1 H[ X IS HU-
MAN;Y'S MO/ ANCI5T & 9EVITA# SORR[4 ,I
AM N AL"O1 MO/ "MS "K ? PA91 X BR1KS _!
HE>T B !Y G ON LIV+ 2C !Y M/ PROTECT &
LOVE ^? :O >E LEFT4 ,ONLY A GR\P ( PRIV-
ILEG$ WOM5--IN V REC5T "TS & 9 ADV.ED
C.TRIES ": H1L? C>E IS AVAILA# 6ALL :O C
AF=D X--C HOPE T ALL _! *N W LIVE 6BE
ADULTS4 ,D1? IS ALW HOV]+ NE>BY4 ,]NE/O
& ,I W5T 6,PAULA'S ROOM1 CLOS$ ! DOOR1
&1 J ! TWO ( U1 PROCE$$ 6IMPROVISE A
BRIEF RITUAL ( "P+4 ,WE TOLD ,PAULA H[
M* WE LOV$ H]1 WE REVIEW$ ! WOND];L YE>S
WE _H LIV$ TGR & ASSUR$ H] %E WD ALW 2 9
\R MEMORIES4 ,WE PROMIS$ H] WE WD 2 ) H]
UNTIL H] LA/ MO;T 9 ? _W & T WE WD F9D
H] AG 9 ANO!R1 2C 9 FACT WE WD N    #EEH
2 SEP>AT$4 8,DIE N[1 MY LOVE10 ,]NE/O
PL1D$1 ON 8 KNEES 2S H] B$4 8,YES1
,PAULA1 G N[10 ,I A4$ 9 SIL;E1 2C MY
VOICE FAIL$ ME4

  ,WILLIE 9SI/S T ,I TALK & WALK 9 MY
SLEEP1 B T ISN'T TRUE4 ,AT NI<T ,I W&]
B>EFOOT & SIL5T "? ! H\SE S ,I WON'T
4TURB ! _SS OR ! SKUNKS T SLIP UP/AIRS
6DEV\R ! CAT'S FOOD4 ,"S"TS WE MEET FACE
6FACE1 & !Y RAISE _! B1UTI;L /RIP$
TAILS1 L FURRY P1COCKS1 & />E AT ME1 _!
NOSES QUIV]+1 B !Y M/ H 2COME A3U/OM$ TO
MY PRES;E1 2C UNTIL N[ !Y H N"E %OT _!
OM9\S SPRAY 9SIDE ! H\SE1 ONLY 9 ! BASE-
;T4 ,I DON'T WALK 9 MY SLEEP1 ,I WALK 9
MY SORR[4 8,TAKE A PILL & TRY 6RE/ A FEW
H\RS10 ,WILLIE BEGS ME1 EXHAU/$4 8,Y NE$
6SEE A PSY*IATRI/1 Y'RE OBSESS$1 & F
?9K+ AB ,PAULA S M*1 Y'RE SEE+ VI.NS4
,HE MA9TA9S T MY DAU<T] DOES N -E 6\R
ROOM AT NI<T1 T X'S IMPOSSI#1 %E C'T
MOVE1 & ,I'M J HAV+ NI<TM>ES L S _M
DR1MS T SEEM M TRUE ?AN R1L;Y4 ,B :O "KS
''' MAYBE "! >E O!R M1NS ( _SUAL    #EEI
-MUNIC,N 2SS DR1MS1 &1 9CAPACITAT$ ?\<
%E IS1 ,PAULA HAS F.D A WAY 6TALK 6ME4
,MY S5SES H BE5 %>P5$ S T ,I P]CV ! IN-
VISI#1 B ,I AM N MAD4 ,DR4 ,%IMA -ES BY
(T51 & HE TELLS ME T ,PAULA HAS 2COME 8
GUIDE4 ,! ?REE MON?S H PASS$1 &! PSY-
*ICS1 HYPNOTI/S1 SE]S1 & M$IUMS H ALL
G"O2 N[ ONLY ,DR4 ,=RE/] & ,DR4 ,%IMA >E
ATT5D+ MY DAU<T]4 ,"S"TS HE M]ELY M$I-
TATES A FEW M9UTES 2S H]2 O!R "TS HE EX-
AM9ES H] METICUL\SLY1 USES 8 NE$LES 6RE-
LIEVE ! PA9 9 H] B"OS1 ADM9I/]S ,*9ESE
M$IC,NS1 !N %>ES A CUP ( TEA ) ME ": WE
C TALK FREELY )\T 2+ OV]HE>D4 ,I _H !
C\RAGE 6TELL HM T ,PAULA -ES 6VISIT ME
AT NI<T & HE DIDN'T F9D X /RANGE1 HE SD
%E AL TALKS 6HM4
  8,H[ DOES %E D T1 ,DOCTOR80
  8,I WAKE 9 ! E>LY MORN+ 6! S.D ( H]
VOICE40
  8,H[ D Y "K X'S H]S8 ,Y'VE N"E HE>D
H]4 '''0
  8,"S"TS ,I SEE H] CLE>LY4 ,%E PO9TS \
PLACES ": %E HAS PA91 SU7E/S *ANGES 9 !
M$IC9ES1 ASKS ME 6HELP H] "M 9 ?    #EFJ
ORD1L--%E "KS H[ M* Y >E SU6]+4 ,PAULA
IS V TIR$ & WANTS 6G1 B H] BODY IS /R;G
& %E MAY LIVE A L;G "T40
  8,H[ M* L;G]1 ,DR4 ,%IMA80
  ,F 8 MAGIC CASE1 HE TOOK \ A VELVET
BAG 3TA9+ 8 ,I ,*+ /ICKS1 3C5TRAT$ ON A
SECRET PRAY]1 %OOK !M1 & ?REW !M ON !
TA#4
  8,SEV5 '''40
  8,SEV5 YE>S80
  8,OR MON?S OR WEEKS1 ,I DON'T "K1 ! ,I
,*+ IS V VAGUE4 '''0
  ,2F HE LEFT1 HE GAVE ME "S MY/]I\S
H]BS2 HE 2LIEVES T ANXIETY RUNS D[N !
BODY'S &! M9D'S DEF5SES1 & T "! IS A DI-
RECT REL,N%IP 2T C.ER & SORR[4 ,DR4 ,=-
RE/] AL PRESCRIB$ "S?+ = DEPRES.N4 ,?
EXTRAORD9>Y WOMAN IS FULL ( -PAS.N2 %E
HAS NO?+ (! USUAL CYNICISM T MO/ DOCTORS
H4 ,I H ! BOTTLE PUT AWAY 9 ! BASKET )
MY "M'S LRS1 HI45 2S ! SLEEP+ PILLS1 2C
,I H DECID$ N 6SEEK RELIEF 9 DRUGS2 ? IS
A ROAD ,I M/ TRAVEL BLE$+4 ,IMAGES (
,CELIA GIV+ BIR? -E BACK 6ME (T52 ,I SEE
H] SW1T+1 RIPP$ 0H] PA9S1 BIT+ H]   #EFA
LIPS1 PROGRESS+ /EP 0/EP "? T L;G TRA-
VAIL )\T ! AID ( TRANQUILIZ]S1 S]5E &
3SCI\S1 HELP+ H] DAU<T] 96LIFE4 ,I SEE
H] 9 H] CLIMACTIC EF=T1 OP5 Z A W.D1 Z
,&REA'S H1D EM]GES2 ,I HE> H] TRIUMPHAL
%\T & ,NICOL@AS'S SOB1 & AG EXP]I;E \R
B.S+ 9 ! HOLY QUIET ( ? ROOM ": N[
,PAULA IS SLEEP+4 ,MY DAU<T]'S /RANGE
ILL;S MAY 2 L T BIR?2 ,I M/ GRIT MY TEE?
& H C\RAGE1 "K+ T ? TOR;T W N 2 ="E1 T
"O "D X W 5D4 ,& H[8 ,X C ONLY 5D ) D1?4
''' ,I HOPE T ,WILLIE W H ! PATI;E 6WAIT
= ME 2C X MAY 2 A L;G :ILE1 P]H ! SEV5
YE>S (! ,I ,*+4 ,X ISN'T EASY 6KEEP LOVE
ALIVE 9 ^! 3DI;NS1 "EY?+ 3SPIRES AG/ IN-
TIMACY2 ,I AM ALW WE>Y 9 BODY & MY S\L
IS N 9 ME4 ,WILLIE DOESN'T "K H[ HE C
HELP ME1 & ,I DON'T "K :AT 6ASK ( HM2 HE
DOESN'T D>E PRESS ANY H>D] = FE> ( ALI5-
AT+ ME1 YET1 AT ! SAME "T1 HE DOESN'T
WANT 6AB&ON ME4 ,9 8 PRAGMATIC M9D1 !
MO/ R1SONA# MOVE WD 2 6PUT ,PAULA 9 A
HOSPITAL & TRY 6GET ON ) \R LIVES1 B HE
N"E M5;NS T POSSIBIL;Y 2C HE "KS X WD
DRIVE AN IRREVOCA# W$GE 2T U4 8,I   #EFB
WI% ,I CD TAKE YR BURD5 & C>RY X MYF1 MY
%\LD]S >E BROAD]10 HE SAYS HOPE.SLY1 B
HE ALR HAS 5 ) 8 [N PRO#MS4 ,MY DAU<T]
IS G5TLY FAIL+ 9 MY >MS1 B 8 IS KILL+
H]F ) DRUGS 9 ! BACK ALLEYS ACR ! ,BAY2
%E CD DIE EV5 2F M9E1 ( AN OV]DOSE1 !
SLA% (A KNIFE1 OR ,,AIDS4 ,8 OLD] SON
W&]S L A HOME.S MAN "? ! /REETS1 /1L+ &
TRA6ICK+4 ,IF ! TELEPH"O R+S AT NI<T1
,WILLIE L1PS \ ( B$ )! LAT5T =EBOD+ T !
BODY ( 8 DAU<T] IS LY+ 9 "S DIT* 0!
PORT1 OR T ! VOICE (A POLICEMAN W 9=M HM
( "S NEW CRIME -MITT$ 0HIS SON4 ,HE
LIVES "U %AD[S F ! PA/1 & FREQU5TLY "S?+
L1PS \ 6RIP & CLAW HM1 B N[ N EV5 ! WOR/
NEWS CRU%ES HM2 HE IS DROPP$ 6HIS KNEES1
B ! NEXT "D HE IS ON 8 FEET AG4 ,I (T5
ASK MYF H[ ,I W.D UP 9 ? MELODRAMA4 ,MY
"M ATTRIBUTES X 6MY TA/E = TRUCUL5T /O-
RIES1 & 2LIEVES T IS ! PR9CIPAL 9GR$I5T
9 MY FEEL+S = ,WILLIE1 & T ANO!R WOMAN )
M -MON S5SE WD H BOLT$ AT ! SI<T ( S*
CALAM;Y4 ,:5 ,I MET ,WILLIE1 HE MADE NO
ATTEMPT 6HIDE ! FACT T 8 LIFE 0 9 *AOS2
,I KNEW F ! 2G9N+ AB 8 DEL9QU5T     #EFC
*N1 8 DEBTS1 &! -PLIC,NS 9 8 PA/1 B 9 !
IMPETU\S >ROG.E ( NEW LOVE1 ,I DECID$ "!
7 NO OB/ACLES WE CD N OV]COME4
  ,X IS DI6ICULT 6IMAG9E TWO M5 M DI6]5T
?AN ,MI*AEL & ,WILLIE4 ,0! MI4LE (
#AIHG1 MY M>RIAGE _H NO": 6G2 T$IUM 0
ABSOLUTE & 6AVOID WAK+ AT ! SAME H\R 9 !
SAME B$ ,I W5T BACK 6MY OLD HABIT (
WRIT+ AT NI<T4 ,DEPRESS$1 \ ( "W1 & /UCK
9 ! H\SE1 ,MI*AEL 0 GO+ "? A BAD "T4 ,TO
ESCAPE 8 3/ANT PRES;E1 ,I "S"TS FL$ &
LO/ MYF 9 ! JUNGLE ( ,C>ACAS EXPRESS-
WAYS4 ,FI<T+ ! TRA6IC1 ,I RESOLV$ _M
SC5ES 9 .,EVA .,LUNA1 & ID1S CAME 6ME =
O!R /ORIES4 ,ON "O MEMORA# JAG1 TRAPP$ =
A C\PLE ( H\RS 9 MY C> 9 H1T L MOLT5
L1D1 ,I WROTE 8,TWO ,^WS0 AT "O /RET*1
ON ! BACKS ( MY *ECKS1 A K9D ( ALLEGORY
AB ! HALLUC9ATORY P[] ( N>R,N & LANGUAGE
T !N 2CAME ! KEY =A COLLEC;N ( %ORT /O-
RIES4 ,AL? =! F/ "T ,I FELT SECURE 9 !
/RANGE CRAFT ( WRIT+--) MY TWO E>LI]
BOOKS1 ,I _H ! FEEL+ ,I _H A3ID5T,Y L&$
9 A SLIPP]Y MUD PIT--.,EVA .,LUNA 9SI/$
ON WRIT+ XF4 ,I _H NO 3TROL OV] T   #EFD
FRACTI\S /ORY2 ,I _H NO IDEA ": X 0 GO+
OR H[ 65D X4 ,I 0 R1DY 6MASSACRE ALL !
"*S 9 A HAIL ( BULLETS 6GET \ (! MESS &
2 RID ( !M4 ,Z ! LA/ /RAW1 HALFWAY "? ,I
0 LEFT )\T A MALE PROTAGONI/4 ,I _H
PLANN$ "EY?+ = ,EVA & ,HUB]TO ,N>ANJO1
TWO POOR1 /REETWISE1 ORPHAN$ *N :O GREW
UP 9 P>ALLEL CIRCUM/.ES1 6FALL 9 LOVE4
,MIDBOOK1 ! EXPECT$ 5C.T] TOOK PLACE1 B1
:5 F9,Y !Y EMBRAC$1 X TURN$ \ T ! ONLY
?+ T 9T]E/$ HM 7 8 REVOLU;N>Y ACTIVI-
TIES2 HE WAS1 2SS1 A T]RIBLY CLUMSY LOV-
]4 ,EVA DES]V$ M2 T 0 :AT %E LET ME "K &
"! 0 NO WAY 63V9CE H] (! 3TR>Y4 ,I F.D
MYF ON A D1D-5D /REET )A FRU/RAT$ H]O9E
TAPP+ H] FOOT :ILE ! H]O SITT+ ON H] B$
CL1N$ 8 RIFLE4 ,AB T "T1 ,I _H 6G 6,G]_M
ON A BOOK T\R4 ,I L&$ 9 ,FRANKFURT1 & F
"! TRAVEL$ ACR ! RE/ (! C.TRY 0C>1 DRIV5
0AN IMPATI5T *AU6EUR :O FLEW AL;G FRO/Y
AUTOBAHNS AT SUICIDAL SPE$S4 ,"O NI<T 9
A NOR!RN C;Y1 A MAN CAME UP AF MY TALK &
9VIT$ ME 6H A BE]1 2C1 HE SD1 HE _H A
/ORY = ME4 ,SITT+ 9 A SMALL CAF@E ": WE
CD SC>CELY SEE EA* O!R'S FACES "?   #EFE
! GLOOM & CIG>ETTE SMOKE1 Z RA9 P\R$ D[N
\TSIDE1 ? /RANG] TOLD ME AB 8 PA/4 ,8 "F
_H BE5 AN (FIC] 9 ! ,NAZI >MY1 A CRUEL
MAN :O MISTR1T$ 8 WIFE & *N & :O 9 ! W>
_H BE5 GIV5 ! OPPORTUN;Y 6SATISFY 8 MO/
BRUTAL 9/9CTS4 ,HE TOLD ME AB 8 RET>D$
"Y] SI/]1 & H[ 8 "F1 /EEP$ 9 PRIDE (
RACE1 _H N"E A3EPT$ H] B =C$ H] 6LIVE L
AN ANIMAL1 SIL5T1 HU4L+ "U A :ITE CLO?-
COV]$ TA# S HE WDN'T H 6SEE H]4 ,I WROTE
ALL T1 &A LOT M HE GAVE ME T NI<T Z A
GIFT1 ON A PAP] NAPK94 ,2F WE SD GD
NI<T1 ,I ASK$ :E!R X 0 M9E 6USE1 & HE SD
YES1 T 0 :Y HE _H TOLD ME4 ,:5 ,I RE-
TURN$ 6,C>ACAS1 ,I F$ ! PAP] NAPK9 96!
-PUT] & \ CAME ,ROLF ,C>L@E1 H1D 6TOE1
AN ,AU/RIAN PHOTOGRAPH] :O 2CAME ! NOV-
EL'S PROTAGONI/ & REPLAC$ ,HUB]TO ,N>AN-
JO 9 ! HE>T ( ,EVA ,LUNA4
  ,"O ( ^? W>M ,JUNE MORN+S 9 ,C>ACAS :5
/ORMS GA!R E>LY OV] ! HILLS1 ,MI*AEL
CAME D[N 6MY /UDIO 9 ! CELL> 6BR+ !
MAIL4 ,I 0 LO/ 9 ! ,AMAZON JUNGLE ) ,EVA
,LUNA1 ,ROLF ,C>L@E1 & _! -PANIONS 9
ADV5TURE1 & AT ! S.D (! DOOR1 ,I    #EFF
LOOK$ UP & SAW AN UN"KN FIGURE CROSS+ !
B>E ROOM1 A TALL1 SLIM MAN )A GRAY BE>D
& EYEGLASSES1 B[$ %\LD]S1 & AN OPAQUE
AURA ( FRAGIL;Y & MELAN*OLY4 ,X 0 S"EAL
SECONDS 2F ,I RECOGNIZ$ MY HUSB& & R1L-
IZ$ :AT /RANG]S WE _H 2COME4 ,I SE>*$ MY
MEMORY =! EMB]S (! C>EFREE LOVE ( \R
TW5TIES1 B CD N F9D EV5 A%ES1 ONLY !
WEI<T ( 4SATISFAC;N & 5NUI4 ,I _H A VI.N
( AN >ID FUTURE1 GR[+ OLD "D 0"D 2S A
MAN ,I NO L;G] ADMIR$ OR DESIR$1 & ,I
FELT A H[L ( REBELLION RIS+ F DEEP 9SIDE
ME4 ,AT T 9/ANT1 ! ^WS T ) FI]CE 4CIPL9E
,I _H LEFT UNSPOK5 = YE>S TUM#D \ 9 A
VOICE ,I CD N RECOGNIZE Z MY [N4
  8,I C'T TAKE ANY M1 ,I WANT A SEP>,N10
,I SD1 N D>+ 6MEET 8 EYES1 &1 Z ,I SPOKE
! ^WS1 T VAGUE1 FLO7$ B1/ ( BURD5 PA9 ,I
_H C>RI$ = YE>S LIFT$ F MY %\LD]S4
  8,I H NOTIC$ H[ 4TANT Y'VE BE5 = "S
"T4 ,I GUESS Y DON'T LOVE ME ANY L;G] &
WE %D 3SID] A SEP>,N10 HE /AMM]$4
  8,"! ISN'T M* 63SID]1 ,MI*AEL4 ,X'S
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_! HELP 9 SETT+ \ ! PRACTICAL DETAILS (
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HE ALW DOES :5 HE IS TRY+ 63TROL A /R;G
EMO;N1 & ,PAULA BUR/ 96TE>S \ ( -PAS.N =
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P>ALYZ$1 B ,I 0 9FUS$ ) MANIC 5]GY2 ,I
2GAN 6PULL DI%ES F ! KIT*51 CLO!S F !
CLOSETS1 BOOKS F ! %ELVES1 & !N RAN \ TO
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( ^? FR5ETIC H\RS T DET]M9$ ! SECOND
HALF ( MY LIFE4 ,! *N DIVID$ UP \R 2L;G-
+S1 WROTE A SIMPLE1 "O-PAGE AGREE;T1 &!
F\R ( U SIGN$ X )\T C]EMONY OR WIT;SES4
,!N ,PAULA F.D AN A"P;T = H] "F1 & ,NIC-
OL@AS GOT A TRUCK 6TRANSPORT HALF \R
2L;G+S4 ,)9 A FEW H\RS1 WE UNDID TW5TY-
N9E YE>S ( LOVE & TW5TY-FIVE YE>S   #EFH
( M>RIAGE ) NO SLAMM+ DOORS1 RECRIM9,NS1
OR LAWY]S1 ONLY A FEW 9EVITA# TE>S1 2C 9
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,I 2LIEVE T 9 A C]TA9 WAY WE / D4 ,T
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TRA6IC =MS A S]IES ( GIGANTIC S]P5TS (
/ALL$ AUTOMOBILES1 & MUD SLIDES WIPE \
:OLE SLUMS ON ! HILLSIDES4 ,:5 F9,Y !
TRUCK ( \R DIVORCE PULL$ AWAY1 FOLL[$ 0!
*N ON _! WAY 69/ALL _! "F 9 8 NEW HOME1
& ,I 0 AL"O 9 ! H\SE1 ,I ?REW OP5 ! W9-
D[S & DOORS 6LET ! W9D & RA9 BL[ 9 TO
SWEEP AWAY ! PA/2 ,I 2GAN 6D.E & :IRL L
A MA45$ D]VI%1 WEEP+ ) SAD;S = :AT 0 LO/
& LAU<+ ) RELIEF = :AT 0 GA9$1 :ILE
CRICKETS & TREE FROGS SANG \TSIDE1 & IN-
SIDE ! TORR5TIAL RA9 /R1M$ ACR ! FLOOR &
! GALE BLEW D1D L1VES & BIRD F1!RS 9 A
:IRLW9D ( F>EWELLS & FREEDOM4

  ,I 0 =TY-F\R2 ,I SUPPOS$ T F !N ON MY
FATE WD 2 6GR[ OLD AL"O1 & 9T5D$    #EFI
6BE DIGNIFI$ DO+ X4 ,I CALL$ ,T@IO ,RA-
M@ON & ASK$ HM 6OV]SEE ! MATRIMONIAL AN-
NUL;T 9 ,*ILE1 A SIMPLE PROC$URE IF !
C\PLE IS 9 AGREE;T1 IF Y H M"OY =A LAW-
Y]1 & IF Y "K A C\PLE ( FRS WILL+ 6-MIT
P]JURY4 ,RUNN+ AWAY F EXPLAN,NS1 & 6\T-
WIT MY S5SE ( GUILT1 ,I A3EPT$ A S]IES (
LECTURES T TOOK ME F ,ICEL& 6,PU]TO ,RI-
CO1 PASS+ "? A DOZ5 ,NOR? ,AM]ICAN CIT-
IES4 ,9 T V>IETY ( CLIMATES1 ,I NE$$ ALL
! CLO!S ,I _H B DECID$ 6C>RY ONLY :AT 0
9DISP5SA#2 MY LOOKS 7 F> F MY M9D1 ,I
FELT BO7$ D[N1 ) NO HOPE ( REPRIEVE1 9 A
PAS.N.S MATUR;Y1 S X 0 A HAPPY SURPRISE
6F9D T1 IF A WOMAN IS AVAILA#1 "! IS NO
%ORTAGE ( M54 ,I WROTE A DOCU;T1 ) ?REE
COPIES1 RETRACT+ ! "O ,I _H SIGN$ 9 ,BO-
LIVIA 9 : ,I _H SD T 2C ( ,T@IO ,RAM@ON
,I WD N"E MEET ANY M51 & S5T X 6,*ILE BY
C]TIFI$ MAIL4 ,"S"TS X'S FAIR 6(F] YR >M
6BE TWI/$4 ''' ,^? TWO MON?S1 ,I TOOK
PL1SURE F ! EMBRACE (A POL> BE> (A POET
9 ,REYKJAV@IK1 ! -PANY (A "Y MULATTO 9 !
TORRID NI<TS ( ,SAN ,JUAN1 &A SCATT]+ (
O!R MEMORA# 5C.T]S4 ,I AM TEMPT$    #EGJ
69V5T WILD ]OTIC RITES 6ADORN MY MEM-
OIRS1 Z ,I SUPPOSE O!RS D1 B 9 ^! PAGES
,I AM TRY+ 6BE H"O/4 ,AT MO;TS1 ,I FELT
,I T\*$ A LOV]'S S\L1 & EV5 DR1M$ (!
POSSIBIL;Y (A DEEP] REL,N%IP1 B ! NEXT
"D ,I TOOK ANO!R PLANE1 & MY 5?USIASM
4SOLV$ AM;G ! CL\DS4 ,WE>Y ( FLEET+
KISSES1 ,I DECID$ ! LA/ WEEK 63C5TRATE
ON MY "W1 AF ALL1 LOTS ( P LIVE A *A/E
EXI/;E4 ,I CD N"E H GUESS$ T AT ! 5D ( T
NUMB+ J\RNEY ,WILLIE 0 WAIT+ = ME & MY
LIFE WD 2 ="E *ANG$2 MY PREMONI;NS FAIL$
ME MIS]ABLY4
  ,9 A C;Y 9 NOR!RN ,CALI=NIA ": ,I GAVE
MY LA/ LECTURE1 X 2FELL ME 6LIVE "O ( ^?
OV]BL[N LOVE A6AIRS T S]VE Z FO4] =! RO-
M.ES ,I TRANSLAT$ 9 MY Y\?4 ,WILLIE _H
R1D ..,( ,LOVE & .,%AD[S2 HE _H SU6]$ =!
"*S & ?"\ T 9 T BOOK HE _H F.D ! K9D (
LOVE HE WI%$ = B _H N"E EXP]I;ED4 ,I
SUSPECT HE _HN'T "KN ": 6LOOK2 EV5 !N HE
0 PLAC+ ADS 9 ! P]SONAL COLUMNS 6F9D "S-
"O1 Z HE C&IDLY TOLD ME ON \R F/ DATE4
,"S (! RESPONSES >E / RATTL+ >.D 9 A
DRAW] "S":1 AM;G !M1 ! DAZZL+       #EGA
PHOTOGRAPH (A WOMAN WE>+ NO?+ B A BOA--A
BOA .3/RICTOR6--&) NO -;T B H] TELEPH"O
NUMB] 2N ! PHOTO4 ,DESPITE ! SNAKE1 OR
P]H 2C ( X1 ,WILLIE DIDN'T M9D GIV+ UP A
C\PLE ( H\RS 6MEET ME4 ,"O (! WOM5 PRO-
FESSORS F ! UNIV]S;Y 9TRODUC$ HM 6ME Z !
LA/ HET]OSEXUAL BA*ELOR 9 ,SAN ,FRANCIS-
CO4 ,AF ,I SPOKE1 ,I D9$ )A GR\P >.D A
TA# 9 AN ,ITALIAN RE/AURANT2 ,WILLIE SAT
FAC+ ME1 )A GLASS ( :ITE W9E 9 8 H&1
SAY+ NO?+4 ,I ADMIT T ,I FELT A C]TA9
CURIOS;Y AB ? ,IRI%-LOOK+ ,NOR? ,AM]ICAN
LAWY] ) AN >I/OCRATIC APPE>.E & SILK TIE
:O SPOKE ,SPANI% L A ,MEXICAN .BANDIDO &
_H A TATTOO ON 8 LEFT H&4 ,"! 0 A FULL
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0 CROON+ 8,/RANG]S 9 ! ,NI<T0 Z \R RAVI-
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PRO#M ) FIC;N IS T X M/ SEEM CR$I#1 :ILE
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9TIMATE G5TLE;S T ,I S5S$ ?ANKS 6MY MA-
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EF=T ( MAK+ 3V]S,N3 ! MAN QU]I$ EXP.DS
:ILE MY M9D W&]S "? O!R _WS4 ,9 ? CASE1
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MAN'S LIFE 0 A NOVEL4 ,! SAMPLES HE _H
REV1L$ DUR+ T H\R OR TWO AWAK5$ MY GRE$2
T NI<T 9 ! HOTEL ,I CDN'T SLEEP1 ,I NE$$
6"K M4 ,LUCK 0 ) ME1 &! NEXT "D ,WILLIE
LOCAT$ ME 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO1 ! LA/ /OP
ON MY T\R1 69VITE ME 6VIEW ! ,BAY F A
M.TA9SIDE & H D9N] AT 8 H\SE4 ,I IMAG9$
A ROMANTIC DATE 9 A MOD]N A"P;T )A VIEW
(! ,GOLD5 ,GATE ,BRIDGE1 A CACTUS 2S !
DOOR1 *AMPAGNE & SMOK$ SALMON1 B "! 0
NO?+ ( T SORT3 8 H\SE & 8 LIFE RESEM#D !
SC5E FOLL[+ A %IPWRECK4 ,HE PICK$ ME UP
9 "O ( ^? SPORTS C>S ) B>ELY 5      #EGC
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6YR E>S & YR RE> SCRAP+ ! ASPHALT2 X 0
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,! DRIVE 6! TOP (! M.TA9 &! MAJE/IC
SPECTACLE (! ,BAY IMPRESS$ ME1 B ,I
DIDN'T EXPECT 6REMEMB] X V L;G2 ,I'VE
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,I KNEW :Y3 ! NOR? ( ,CALI=NIA LOOKS L
,*ILE1 ! SAME R\< COA/L9E1 HILLS1 VEGE-
T,N1 BIRDS1 EV5 ! CL\D =M,NS 9 ! SKY4
  ,WILLIE'S "O-/ORY H\SE1 A WA%$-\ GRAY
)A FLAT RO(1 0 ON ! WAT]4 ,XS "O *>M 0 A
RU9$ DOCK )A SAILBOAT T _H 2COME A NE/ =
GULLS4 ,WILLIE'S SON ,H>LEI< CAME \ TO
MEET U1 A T5-YE>-OLD S HYP]ACTIVE HE
SEEM$ CRAZ$2 HE /UCK \ 8 T;GUE AT ME
:ILE HE KICK$ ! DOORS & %OT RU2] PROJEC-
TILES F A CANNON4 ,ON A %ELF ,I SAW UGLY
CRY/AL & PORCELA9 BIBELOTS B ALM    #EGD
NO FURNITURE1 EXCEPT 9 ! D9+ ROOM4 ,WIL-
LIE EXPLA9$ T ! ,*RI/MAS TREE _H BURN$ &
SCOR*$ ALL ! FURNI%+S1 & !N ,I NOTIC$ "!
7 / ORNA;TS HANG+ F ! CEIL+1 ) T5 MON?S'
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GET D9N]1 B ,I FELT LO/ 9 T KIT*5 CRAMM$
) APPLI.ES & TOYS4 ,WILLIE 9TRODUC$ ME
6! O!R 9HABITANTS (! H\SE3 8 OLD] SON--
:O 0A /RANGE CO9CID;E 0 BORN ! SAME "D (
! SAME YE> Z ,PAULA--S DRU7$-\ HE CD
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GIRL 9 ! SAME /RAITS1 AN EXIL$ ,BULG>IAN
) 8 "Y DAU<T]--!Y _H -E = "O NI<T & _H
SETTL$ 9 6LIVE--& ,JASON1 ! /EPSON ,WIL-
LIE _H TAK5 9 AF DIVORC+ 8 "M1 ! ONLY "O
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OC1N--HE WD RETURN AT DESS]T "T     #EGE
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0 R1DY 6MAKE A RUN =! HOTEL1 B CURIOS;Y
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,BULG>IAN WAT*$ A FOOTBALL GAME ON TELE-
VI.N ) 8 LL GIRL ASLEEP ON 8 KNEES1 &!
DRUG A4ICTS SNOR$ 9 _! "PICUL> P>ADISE1
,WILLIE SET 6"W3 HE COOK$1 ?REW LOADS (
CLO!S 96! WA%+ MA*9E1 F$ ! NUM]\S B1/S1
PATI5TLY LI/5$ 6A SURR1L /ORY ,JASON _H
J WRITT5 & WANT$ 6R1D AL\D1 & PREP>$ !
BA? = 8 "Y] SON1 :O AT T5 0 9CAPA# ( DO+
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FELT DIVID$ 2T A H1L?Y AV].N T[>D ? UN-
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,! NEXT "D1 ,WILLIE CALL$ AG2 \R MUTUAL
ATTRAC;N 0 EVID5T B WE 7 AW>E X _H NO
FUTURE 2C1 9 A4I;N 6! OBVI\S DRAWBACKS--
*N1 PETS1 LANGUAGE1 CULTURAL DI6];ES1 &
LIFE/YLES--WE LIV$ T5 H\RS A"P 0JET4
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& SP5D "O NI<T ) HM1 "K+ X WD 2 GDBYE
="E ! NEXT MORN+1 Z 9 A BAD         #EGF
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PRIVACY ( MY HOTEL1 X _H 6BE 8 H\SE 2C
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,BULG>IAN1 ! DRUG A4ICTS1 OR ! "Y 9TEL-
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MI<T LIVE "O UN=GETTA# NI<T--IN ANY
CASE1 ,I _H NO?+ 6LOSE4 8,DON'T 2 SUR-
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,I SI<$ ) RELIEF1 2C AT L1/ ,I WDN'T F9D
! BOA 3/RICTOR ROLL$ UP 9 ! BA? T[ELS1 B
! * A3EPT$ ME )\T A SECOND GL.E4 ,:5 HE
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NO L;G] ?AN ! F/ CL1NUP4 ,0! "T HE F.D \
,I 0 %>+ 8 "F'S B$1 X 0 ALR TOO LATE1 ,I
_H -E 6/AY4 ,T NI<T1 ,WILLIE & ,I MADE
LOVE NOT)/&+ ! EXASP]AT+ * KICK+ ! DOOR1
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! W9D[1 ! />S &! RU9$ BOAT AT ! DOCK
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CLOCK2 F>!R AWAY1 A /]EO4 ,EXP5SIVE
%IRTS & SUITS HUNG 9 ! CLOSET & 9 ! IM-
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MY GR&"F ALW US$4 ,I HELD X 6MY NOSE1
9CR$UL\S2 ,I _HN'T SMELL$ T MIXTURE (
LAV5D] & ,CREOL9 = TW5TY YE>S1 &! CRAFTY
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F ! MIRROR4 ,X'S FASC9AT+ 6OBS]VE ! P]-
SONAL 2L;G+S (A MAN "O IS 2G9N+ 6LOVE1
H[ !Y REV1L 8 HABITS & 8 SECRETS4 ,I
TURN$ BACK ! B$ & FELT ! :ITE %EETS &
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PIL$ ON ! FLOOR1 ,I POK$ "? ! BOTTLES 9
! M$IC9E CAB9ET &1 A"P F ANTIHI/AM9ES &
PILLS 6WORM ! DOG1 F.D NO M$IC9ES2 ,I
SMELL$ CLO?+ T _H NO H9T ( TOBA3O OR P]-
FUME1 & )9 A FEW M9UTES ,I KNEW A LOT AB
? MAN4 ,I FELT L AN 9T]LOP] 9 ? _W ) NO
H9T ( FEM99;Y1 "EY?+ 0 SIMPLE1 PRACTI-
CAL1 & MANLY4 ,I AL FELT SAFE4 ,T AU/]E
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,MI*AEL1 ,V5EZUELA1 &! PA/4 ,6ME1 ,WIL-
LIE REPRES5T$ A NEW DE/9Y 9 ANO!R
LANGUAGE &A DI6]5T C.TRY2 X 0 L     #EGH
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ONLY = ? MAN4 ,I SAT AT ! FOOT (! B$1 V
/1 L AN AL]T ANIMAL1 ) MY ANT5NA TUN$ 9
ALL DIREC;NS1 EXAM9+ ) MY FIVE S5SES &
MY 9TUI;N ! SIGNALS 9 ? ALI5 SPACE1 REG-
I/]+ ! MO/ IMP]CEPTI# SIGNS1 ! SUBTLE
9=M,N ( WALLS1 FURNITURE1 OBJECTS4 ,?
TIDY ROOM C.EL$ ! T]RI# IMPRES.N (! RE/
(! H\SE2 ,I R1LIZ$ T "! 0 A "P ( ,WIL-
LIE'S S\L T L;G$ = ORD] & REF9E;T4 ,N[ T
WE H %>$ A LIFE = S"EAL YE>S1 "EY?+ HAS
MY S1L ON X1 B ,I H N =GOTT5 :O HE 0 !N4
,"S"TS ,I CLOSE MY EYES1 3C5TRATE1 & AM
AG 9 T ROOM & SEE ,WILLIE 2F ,I CAME TO
HM4 ,I L 6REMEMB] ! SMELL ( 8 BODY 2F ,I
_H T\*$ X1 2F WE MELD$ & %>$ ! SAME
ODOR4 ,T BRIEF "T 0MYF 9 ,WILLIE'S B$-
ROOM1 :ILE HE /RU7L$ ) ,H>LEI<1 0 DECI-
SIVE2 9 ^? M9UTES1 ,I 0 PREP>$ 6GIVE MYF
)\T RES]VE 6! EXP]I;E (A NEW LOVE4 ,"S?+
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X4 ,= N9E YE>S1 "E S9CE ^? UNSETTL+ "TS
9 ,MADRID1 ,I _H RE9$ 9 MY PAS.NS4 ,!
DEBACLE (! TR\BADOR )! MAGIC FLUTE _H
TAU<T ME ELE;T>Y LESSONS ( CAU;N4   #EGI
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TIL T NI<T 9 ,WILLIE'S H\SE ,I _H N OP5$
MY HE>T 6GIVE & TAKE )\T HOLD+ BACK2 "O
"P ( ME _H ALW BE5 ON GU>D1 & EV5 9 !
9TIMATE & SPECIAL 5C.T]S T 9SPIR$ ! ]OT-
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HE>T4 ,2F ,WILLIE CLOS$ ! DOOR & WE 7
AL"O & PUT \R >MS >.D EA* O!R--F/ ) CAU-
;N & !N )A /RANGE PAS.N T /R1K$ "? U L
LI<TN+--,I S5S$ T ? 0 N 6BE A TRANSITORY
ADV5TURE4 ,T NI<T WE MADE LOVE SL[LY1
S]5ELY1 EXPLOR+ MAPS & HI<WAYS Z IF WE
_H ALL ! "T 9 ! _W = \R J\RNEY1 SP1K+
S(TLY 9 AN IMPOSSI# PATOIS ( ,5GLI% &
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9 PAUSES 9 2T C>ESSES1 TOT,Y 9DI6]5T 6!
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MURMURS ( LOVE1 EA* ^W1 EA* SI<4 ,"? !
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LA1 ,I %IV]$ ) COLD 9 T UNH1T$ ROOM1 EV5
AF ,I PUT ON ,WILLIE'S CA%M]E SW1T] T
HUNG 6MY KNEES1 WRAPP+ ME 9 AN      #EHJ
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LIVES1 WE _H BE5 A3UMULAT+ EXP]I;ES T
P]H HELP$ U 6"K EA* O!R & 6DEVELOP ! NEC
9/9CTS 6DIV9E ! O!R'S WI%ES1 B EV5 _H WE
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= HM8 ,= ME8 ,I DON'T "K1 B ,I L 6?9K WE
7 DE/9$ 6MEET1 RECOGNIZE EA* O!R1 & FALL
9 LOVE4 ,OR P]H ! DI6];E 0 T WE *>T$ A
C\RSE 2T TWO EQU,Y P[];L CURR5TS3 PAS.N
& T5D];S4 ,I 0 N 3C]N$ ) MY [N DESIRE2
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WASN'T F"R5$ 0HIS *N1 NOR 0FE> ( L1V+ MY
_W 6ADOPT A NEW C.TRY4 ,I FELT T \R LOVE
CD RENEW U1 RETURN A C]TA9 9NOC;E 6U1
WA% AWAY ! PA/1 ILLUM9ATE ! D>K CORN]S (
\R LIVES4 ,WE SLEPT 9 A TANGLE ( >MS &
LEGS1 S.DLY1 Z IF WE _H BE5 TGR ALW1 EX-
ACTLY Z WE H E NI<T F !N ON4
  ,MY PLANE 6,C>ACAS LEFT V E>LY2 X 0 /
D>K :5 WE 7 AWAK5$ 0! AL>M CLOCK4   #EHA
,:ILE ,I %[]$1 DIZZY ) EXHAUS;N & UN=-
GETTA# IMPRES.NS1 ,WILLIE BREW$ A POT (
/R;G C(FEE T _H ! VIRTUE ( BR++ ME BACK
6R1L;Y4 ,I TOOK MY L1VE (! ROOM T =A FEW
H\RS _H S]V$ Z A TEMPLE1 )! /RANGE SUS-
PICION T 2F L;G ,I WD SEE X AG4 ,ON !
WAY 6! AIRPORT1 Z ! DAWN 2GAN 6BR1K1
,WILLIE H9T$ ) 9EXPLICA# TIMID;Y T .HE
.LIK$ .ME4
  8,T DOESN'T M1N V M*4 ,I NE$ 6"K :E!R
:AT HAPP5$ LA/ NI<T IS AN 9V5;N (A 3FUS$
M9D OR :E!R 9 FACT Y LOVE ME & WE H "S
SORT ( -MIT;T40
  ,S GRT 0 8 SURPRISE T HE _H 6PULL OV]
& /OP ! C>2 ,I DIDN'T "K T Y N"E SAY !
^W 8-MIT;T0 6A ,NOR? ,AM]ICAN BA*ELOR4
  8,B WE'VE J MET1 & Y LIVE ON ANO!R
3T95T60
  8,IS X ! 4T.E T WORRIES Y80
  8,I'LL -E 6,V5EZUELA 6VISIT 9 ,DECEM-
B]1 & WE C TALK !N40
  8,? IS ,OCTOB]1 2T N[ & ,DECEMB]1 ,I
CD 2 D1D40
  8,>E Y ILL80
  8,NO1 B Y N"E "K4 ''' ,LOOK1      #EHB
,WILLIE1 ,I'M TOO OLD 6WAIT >.D4 ,TELL
ME "R N[ :E!R WE C GIVE ? LOVE A *.E1 OR
IF X WD 2 BETT] 6=GET ! :OLE ?+40
  ,PALE1 HE />T$ ! MOTOR AG1 & WE DROVE
! RE/ (! WAY 9 SIL;E4 ,8 GDBYE KISS 0
PRUD5T1 & HE REP1T$ T HE WD -E SEE ME
DUR+ ! HOLI"DS AT ! 5D (! YE>4 ,! M9UTE
! PLANE TOOK (F1 ,I TRI$ V S]I\SLY 6=GET
HM1 B OBVI\SLY X DIDN'T "W1 2C Z SOON Z
WE L&$ 9 ,C>ACAS1 ,NICOL@AS NOTIC$ "S?+4
  8,:AT IS X1 ,MAMA8 ,Y SEEM /RANGE40
  8,I'M WORN \1 ,NICOL@AS1 ,I'VE BE5
TRAVEL+ = TWO MON?S4 ,I NE$ 6RE/ & GET A
*ANGE ( CLO!S & GET MY HAIR CUT40
  8,I ?9K X'S M ?AN T40
  8,MAYBE ,I'M 9 LOVE4 '''0
  8,AT YR AGE80 ,HE LAU<$ \ L\D4 8,:O
)80
  ,I WASN'T SURE ( ,WILLIE'S LA/ "N1 B
,I _H 8 TELEPH"O NUMB] & A4RESS &--AT !
SU7ES;N ( MY SON1 :O _H ! IDEA ,I %D
SP5D A WEEK 9 ,CALI=NIA 6GET ! GR+O \ (
MY M9D--,I S5T HM 0EXPRESS MAIL A TWO-
COLUMN 3TRACT3 "O \TL9+ MY DEM&S &! O!R
LI/+ :AT ,I 0 PREP>$ 6(F] 9 A RE-   #EHC
L,N%IP4 ,! F/ 0 L;G] ?AN ! SECOND & IN-
CLUD$ S"EAL KEY PO9TS--S* Z FIDEL;Y1 2C
EXP]I;E _H TAU<T ME T UNFAI?;L;S IS DE-
/RUCTIVE & TIR+--& O!R LESS ESS5TIAL RE-
QUIRE;TS S* Z RES]V+ ! "R 6DECORATE \R
H\SE 9 MY TA/E4 ,! 3TRACT 0 BAS$ ON GD
FAI?3 NEI ( U WD "E 9T5;N,Y D ANY?+ 6W.D
! O!R2 IF HURT 0 9FLICT$1 X WD 2 0]ROR1
N MALICE4 ,WILLIE 0 S AMUS$ T HE =GOT 8
JURI/IC CAU;N1 SIGN$ 9 ! _S ( PROL;G+ !
JOKE1 & S5T X BACK 0RETURN MAIL4 ,) T1
,I PACK$ A BAG 3TA9+ A FEW CLO!S &! AS-
SORT$ FETI%ES ,I ALW C>RY ) ME1 & ASK$
MY SON 6TAKE ME 6! AIRPORT4 8,SEE Y
SOON1 ,MAMA4 ,Y'LL 2 BACK 9 A FEW "DS )
YR TAIL TUCK$ 2T YR LEGS10 0 8 MOCK+
F>EWELL4 ,F ,VIRG9IA1 ": %E 0 "W+ ON A
MA/]'S DEGREE1 ,PAULA EXPRESS$ H] D\BTS
AB ? ADV5TURE 0TELEPH"O4
  8,I "K Y1 .VIEJA1 Y'RE GO+ 6GET YRF 9
A T]RI# JAM4 ,NICOL@AS IS WR;G1 Y WON'T
2 OV] X 9 A WEEK4 ,IF Y'RE GO+ 6VISIT T
MAN1 X'S 2C Y'RE PREP>$ 6/AY ) HM4 ,G
EASY1 2C IF Y D1 Y'RE SUNK1 Y'LL H 6TAKE
ON ALL 8 PRO#MS40 ,B X 0 TOO LATE   #EHD
= JUDICI\S W>N+S4

  ,! 2G9N+ 0 A NI<TM>E4 ,I _H ALW ?"\ (!
,UNIT$ ,/ATES Z MY P]SONAL 5EMY 2C ( XS
4A/R\S POLICY T[>D ,LAT9 ,AM]ICA & XS
"PICIP,N 9 ,*ILE'S MILIT>Y C\P4 ,I WD H
6LIVE 9 ? EMPIRE & TRAVEL X F 5D 65D TO
"U/& XS -PLEX;Y1 "K X1 & LE>N 6LOVE X4
,I _H N US$ MY ,5GLI% 9 M ?AN TW5TY
YE>S2 ,I CD B>ELY DECIPH] ! M5U 9 A RES-
TAURANT4 ,I DIDN'T "U/& ! NEWS ON TELE-
VI.N1 OR ! JOKES1 M* LESS ! LANGUAGE (
,WILLIE'S BOYS4 ,! F/ "T WE W5T 6! MOV-
IES & ,I F.D MYF SITT+ 9 ! D>K 2S A LOV]
WE>+ A *ECK$ %IRT & C[BOY BOOTS & HOLD+
A LIT] ( SODA & BUCKET ( POPCORN 9 8
LAP1 :ILE ON ! SCRE5 A MADMAN RIPP$ A
GIRL'S BR1/S ) AN ICE PICK1 ,I ?"\ ,I _H
-E 6! 5D ( MY ROPE4 ,I TALK$ ) ,PAULA T
NI<T1 Z ,I (T5 DID4 ,9/1D ( REP1T+ H]
W>N+1 %E REM9D$ ME (! DEEP EMO;NS T _H
B.D ME 6,WILLIE F ! />T & ADVIS$ ME N TO
WA/E 5]GY ON SMALL ?+S B 63C5TRATE ON
R1L PRO#MS4 ,9 TRU?1 "! 7 MATT]S M* M
GRAVE ?AN C[BOY BOOTS OR A TUB (    #EHE
POPCORN1 F DO+ BATTLE )! BIZ>RE P 9VAD+
U 6ADAPT+ 6! /YLE & RHY?M (A MAN :O _H
LIV$ EI<T YE>S Z A BA*ELOR & ^: L[E/
PRIOR;Y 9 ! _W 0 A BOSSY WOMAN 9 8 LIFE4
,I 2GAN 0BUY+ NEW %EETS & BURN+ 8 9 A
BONFIRE ON ! PATIO1 A SYMBOLIC C]EMONY
9T5D$ 6FIX ="E 9 8 M9D ! IDEA ( MONOGA-
MY4 8,:AT'S T WOMAN DO+80 ASK$ ,JASON1
HALF-ASPHYXIAT$ 0! SMOKE4 8,DON'T WORRY1
X M/ 2 A CU/OM (! NATIVES ( H] C.TRY10
,H>LEI< CALM$ HM4 ,I IMMLY ?REW MYF 9TO
CL1N+ & /RAI<T5+ UP ) S* F]VOR T 9 A
C>E.S MO;T ,I ?REW AWAY ALL ( ,WILLIE'S
TOOLS4 ,HE 0 CLOSE 6A VOLCANIC ERUP;N1 B
!N REMEMB]$ ! BASIC PO9T 9 \R 3TRACT3 X
_H N BE5 9T5;NAL ON MY "P1 B A BL"U4 ,!
BROOM AL SWEPT 2F X ! OLD ,*RI/MAS ORNA-
;TS1 ! COLLEC;NS ( CRY/AL FIGUR9ES1 &!
PHOTOGRAPHS ( L;G-LE7$ LOV]S1 AL;G ) F\R
BOXES ( PI/OLS1 MA*9E GUNS1 BAZOOKAS1 &
CANNONS 2L;G+ 6,H>LEI< T 7 REPLAC$ BY
BOOKS & $UC,NAL TOYS4 ,! DY+ FI% EXIT$
D[N ! DRA9 & ,I LET ! MICE \ ( _! CAGE--
! POOR CR1TURES 7 L1D+ A MIS]A# EXI/;E1
ANYWAY1 ) NO?+ 6D B *EW EA* O!R'S   #EHF
TAILS4 ,I EXPLA9$ 6,H>LEI< T ! UNHAPPY
ROD5TS WD F9D M SATISFY+ ACTIVITIES 9 \R
NEI<BORS' G>D5S1 B ?REE "DS LAT] WE HE>D
A FA9T SCRAT*+ AT ! DOOR & :5 WE OP5$ X
SAW "O ( !M ) XS 9N>DS SPILL+ \1 />+ UP
) FEV]I% EYES & BE7+ 6-E 9 ) EXPIR+
SQU1KS4 ,WILLIE PICK$ UP ! M\SE & CU4L$
X1 &=! NEXT FEW WEEKS WE SLEPT ) X 9 \R
ROOM1 TR1T+ X ) ANTIBIOTICS & CR1MS 6GR[
NEW SK91 UNTIL X RECOV]$4 ,:5 ! ,BULG>I-
AN GOT W9D (! NEW ORD]1 HE DECAMP$1
LOOK+ =A M /A# 5VIRON;T1 &1 AF /1L+ 8
"F'S C>1 ,WILLIE'S OLD] SON & 8 SWEET-
HE>T AL 4APPE>$4 ,JASON1 :O _H SP5T !
LA/ YE> RE/+ 0"D & "PY+ 0NI<T1 _H NO RE-
C\RSE B 6GET UP E>LY1 TAKE A %[]1 CL1N 8
ROOM1 & G (F 6S*OOL1 MUTT]+ "U 8 BR1?4
,H>LEI< 0 ! ONLY "O :O A3EPT$ MY PRES;E
& TOL]AT$ ! NEW RULES ) GD HUMOR1 2C =!
F/ "T HE FELT SECURE & ATT5D$2 HE 0 S
HAPPY T ) "T HE EV5 =GAVE ! MY/]I\S 4AP-
PE>.E ( 8 PETS & >S5AL ( W1PONS4 ,UNTIL
!N1 HE _H N"E "KN ANY K9D ( LIMITS1 HE
2HAV$ L A SMALL SAVAGE1 Q CAPA# ( BR1K+
\ GLASS ) 8 FI/S 9 "O ( 8 ATTACKS   #EHG
( REBELLION4 ,S DEEP 0 ! EMPTY PLACE 9 8
HE>T T 9 EX*ANGE = 5 A6EC;N & JO%+ 6FILL
X1 HE 0 WILL+ 6ADOPT ! ALI5 /EP"M :O _H
TURN$ 8 H\SE UPSIDE D[N & /OL5 F HM A
L>GE "P ( 8 "F'S ATT5;N4 ,M ?AN F\R YE>S
( EXP]I;E 9 ! S*OOL 9 ,C>ACAS ": WE D1LT
) DI6ICULT *N 7 N M* HELP ) ,H>LEI<2 8
PRO#MS 3F.D$ ! MO/ EXP]T1 & 8 NE$ 6CR1TE
A 4TURB.E ! MO/ PATI5T1 B1 0GD =TUNE1 !
K9D ( KI4+ MUTUAL LIK+ WE %>$ 0 A LOT L
A6EC;N1 & HELP$ U GET AL;G4
  8,I DON'T H 6LOVE Y10 HE _H SD )A DE-
FIANT FACE A WEEK AF WE MET1 :5 HE SAW T
X WASN'T GO+ 6BE EASY 6GET RID ( ME4
  8,NEI D ,I4 ,WE C MAKE AN EF=T & TRY
6LOVE EA* O!R1 OR J TR1T EA* O!R ) GD
MANN]S4 ,: D Y PREF]80
  8,LET'S TRY 6LOVE EA* O!R40
  8,GD1 & IF T DOESN'T "W1 WE C ALW FALL
BACK ON RESPECT40
  ,! BOY LIV$ UP 6HIS ^W4 ,= YE>S1 HE
TE/$ MY N]VES ) UNFL9*+ T5AC;Y1 B HE AL
CLIMB$ 96MY B$ 6R1D /ORIES1 D$ICAT$ 8
BE/ DRAW+S 6ME1 & EV5 9 8 WOR/ FITS N"E
=GOT \R PACT ( MUTUAL RESPECT4      #EHH
,HE1 L ,JASON1 CAME 6BE ANO!R SON 9 MY
LIFE4 ,N[ !Y >E TWO /RAPP+ "Y M5--"O AT-
T5D+ ! UNIV]S;Y &! O!R F9I%+ S*OOL AF
HAV+ OV]COME *ILDHOOD TRAUMAS--:OM ,I /
H 6HASSLE AB TAK+ \ ! G>BAGE & MAK+ _!
B$S1 B WE >E GD FRS & C LAU< AB ! FE>"S
PIT*$ BATTLES (! PA/4 ,"! 7 O3A.NS :5 ,I
FELT DEF1T$ 2F ! 3FRONT,N 2GAN1 & O!RS
:5 ,I 0 S TIR$ ,I LOOK$ = R1SONS N 6G
HOME4 ,AT ^? MO;TS1 ,I REMEMB]$ ,T@IO
,RAM@ON'S FAVORITE PHRASE1 ..,REMEMB] T
ALL ! O!RS >E M AFRAID ?AN .Y1 & ,I RE-
TURN$ 6! FRAY4 ,I LO/ E BATTLE ) !M B1
MIRACUL\SLY1 ,I ?9K ,I AM W9N+ ! W>4
  ,I 0 N YET SETTL$ 9 :5 ,I 0 (F]$ A
3TRACT AT ! ,UNIV]S;Y ( ,CALI=NIA 6T1*
WRIT+ 6A GR\P ( ASPIR+ "Y AU?ORS4 ,H[ C
Y T1* "S"O 6TELL A /ORY8 ,PAULA1 0TELE-
PH"O1 GAVE ME ! KEY1 )A H1VY DOSE ( IRO-
NY3 TELL !M 6WRITE A BAD BOOK1 T'S EASY1
ANY"O C D X4 ,& T'S :AT WE DID4 ,EA* (!
/UD5TS SET ASIDE 8 OR H] SECRET DR1M (
PRODUC+ ! ,GRT ,AM]ICAN ,NOVEL & 5?USI-
A/IC,Y & FE>.SLY WAD$ 96! WRIT+4 ,AL;G !
WAY1 WE ADJU/$1 CORRECT$1 CUT1 &    #EHI
POLI%$ &1 AF _M 4CUS.NS & M* LAU<T]1 \
CAME _! OPUSES1 "O ( : 0 PUBLI%$ ) M*
B,YHOO 0A MAJOR ,NEW ,YORK FIRM4 ,S9CE
!N1 ANY "T ,I FALL 96A P]IOD ( D\BT1 ,I
TELL MYF ,I AM GO+ 6WRITE A BAD BOOK1 &!
PANIC PASSES4 ,I MOV$ A TA# 96,WILLIE'S
ROOM1 & "! 0! W9D[ ,I SAT & WROTE ON A
PAD ( YELL[1 L9$ PAP] L ! "O ,I AM US+
N[ 6PUT D[N ^! RECOLLEC;NS4 ,F "T LEFT
OV] F CLASSES1 R1D+ /UD5T "W1 DRIV+ BACK
& =? 6,B]KELEY1 H\SEHOLD *ORES1 & ,H>-
LEI<'S PRO#MS1 F T F/ 3VULSIVE YE> (
LIFE 9 ! ,U4,S41 ALM )\T MY R1LIZ+1 CAME
S"EAL /ORIES )A ,C>I21N FLAVOR PUBLI%$
%ORTLY AF Z ..,! ,/ORIES ( ,EVA .,LUNA4
,!Y 7 GIFTS F A DI6]5T DIM5.N2 EA* "O
CAME 6ME :OLE Z AN APPLE1 F ! F/ 6! LA/
S5T;E1 J Z 8,TWO ,^WS0 _H BE5 MANIFE/ 9
A TRA6IC JAM 9 ,C>ACAS4 ,A NOVEL IS A
L;G1 DRAWN-\ PROJECT 9 : 5DUR.E & 4CI-
PL9E C.T MO/4 ,X IS L EMBROID]+ A -PLEX
NE$LEPO9T ) _M-COLOR$ FLOSS2 X IS "W$ ON
! WR;G SIDE1 PATI5TLY1 /IT* 0/IT*1 TAK+
C>E 6SEE T ! KNOTS >E N VISI# & FOLL[+ A
VAGUE DESIGN T C 2 APPRECIAT$ ON-   #EIJ
LY AT ! 5D :5 ! LA/ ?R1D IS 9 PLACE &!
TAPE/RY IS TURN$ 6! "R SIDE 6JUDGE !
-PLET$ E6ECT4 ,)A LL LUCK1 ! *>M (! :OLE
MASKS ! DEFECTS & FLAWS 9 ! EXECU;N4 ,9
A %ORT /ORY1 ON ! O!R H&1 "EY?+ IS R1DI-
LY P]CVD2 NO?+ C 2 LEFT \1 NO?+ C 2 A4$4
,"! IS A PRECISE AM.T ( SPACE & LIMIT$
"T1 & IF ! N>RATIVE IS RE"W$ TOO M*1 X
LOSES T GU/ ( FRE%;S T LIFTS ! R1D]4
,WRIT+ A %ORT /ORY IS L %OOT+ AN >R[3 X
REQUIRES ! 9/9CT1 PRACTICE1 & PRECI.N (A
GD >*]--/R5G? 6PULL ! B[1 AN EYE = 4T.E
& VELOC;Y1 & GD LUCK--6HIT ! BULL'S-EYE4
,A NOVEL IS A*IEV$ ) H>D "W1 ! %ORT /ORY
) 9SPIR,N4 ,= ME ! G5RE IS Z DI6ICULT Z
POETRY1 & ,I DON'T ?9K ,I W ATTEMPT X
AG1 UN.S1 L ..,! ,/ORIES ( ,EVA .,LUNA1
FIC;NS RA9 ON ME F ! H1V5S4 ,ONCE M X 0
PROV$ 6ME T "T AL"O ) MY WRIT+ IS MAGI-
CAL1 ! H\R ( SORC]Y1 MY ONLY SALV,N :5
"EY?+ >.D ME ?R1T5S 6-E CRA%+ D[N4
  ,! LA/ PIECE ( T COLLEC;N1 8,&( ,CLAY
,>E ,WE ,CR1T$10 IS BAS$ ON A TRAG$Y T
O3URR$ 9 ,COLOMBIA 9 #AIHE1 :5 ! VIOL5T
ERUP;N (! VOLCANO ,NEVADO ,RUIZ     #EIA
PRODUC$ AN AVALAN*E ( MELT$ SN[ T FL[$
D[N ! M.TA9SIDE & -PLETELY BURI$ A VIL-
LAGE4 ,?\S&S P]I%$1 B ! _W REMEMB]S !
CATA/ROPHE SPECIFIC,Y 2C ( ,OMAIRA
,S@AN*EZ1 A ?IRTE5-YE>-OLD GIRL :O 0
TRAPP$ 9 ! MUD F ! SLIDE4 ,= ?REE "DS1
%E DI$ AN ANGUI%+LY SL[ D1? 2F PHOTOG-
RAPH]S1 J\RNALI/S1 & TELEVI.N CAM]AS
FL[N 9 0HELICOPT]4 ,H] EYES />+ F ! TEL-
EVI.N SCRE5 H HAUNT$ ME "E S9CE4 ,I / H
H] PHOTOGRAPH ON MY DESK2 AG & AG ,I
/UDI$ X1 TRY+ 6-PREH5D ! M1N+ ( H] M>-
TYRDOM4 ,?REE YE>S AF ! EV5T1 9 ,CALI=-
NIA1 ,I TRI$ 6EXORCISE T NI<TM>E 0TELL+
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POOR * BURI$ ALIVE1 B1 Z ,I 0 WRIT+ X1
,I R1LIZ$ T 0 N ! CORE (! /ORY4 ,I GAVE
X A DI6]5T TURN & TRI$ 6N>RATE F ! PO9T
( VIEW (! MAN :O /AY$ 0! "Y GIRL'S SIDE
^? ?REE "DS1 B :5 ,I F9I%$ T V].N1 ,I
"U/OOD ,I / _HN'T CAPTUR$ ! ESS;E4 ,!
R1L /ORY IS AB A WOMAN--& ,I AM T WOMAN
--:O WAT*ES ! TELEVIS$ /RU7LE (! MAN
HOLD+ ! GIRL4 ,X IS AB MY FEEL+S &!
9EVITA# *ANGES ,I EXP]I;ED :ILE     #EIB
WIT;S+ ! AGONY ( T *4 ,ONCE ! COLLEC;N (
/ORIES 0 PUBLI%$1 ,I ?"\ ,OMAIRA 0 \ (
MY LIFE1 B ,I SOON LE>N$ T 0 N ! CASE2
%E IS A DO7$ ANGEL :O W N LET ME =GET
H]4 ,:5 ,PAULA FELL 96A -A & 2CAME A
PRISON] 9 H] B$1 9]T1 DY+ SL[LY 2F !
HELP.S GAZE ( ALL >.D H]1 ,I REMEMB]$ !
FACE ( ,OMAIRA ,S@AN*EZ4 ,MY DAU<T] 0
TRAPP$ 9 H] BODY1 Z ! GIRL _H BE5 TRAPP$
9 MUD4 ,ONLY !N DID ,I "U/& :Y ,I _H ?"\
AB H] ALL ^? YE>S1 & F9,Y CD DECIPH] !
MESSAGE 9 ^? 9T5SE BLACK EYES3 PATI;E1
C\RAGE1 RESIGN,N1 DIGN;Y 9 ! FACE ( D1?4
,IF ,I WRITE "S?+1 ,I FE> X W HAPP51 &
IF ,I LOVE TOO M*1 ,I FE> ,I W LOSE T
P]SON2 N"E!.S1 ,I _C /OP WRIT+ OR LOV+4
'''

  ,GIV5 T ! DEVA/AT+ FURY ( MY BROOM _H
N FULLY P5ETRAT$ ! LEVELS ( *AOS 9 T
H\SEHOLD1 ,I 3V9C$ ,WILLIE T X WD 2 EAS-
I] 6MOVE ?AN 6CL1N1 & T IS H[ WE CAME TO
LIVE 9 ? H\SE (! _SS4 ,T 0 ! YE> ,PAULA
MET ,]NE/O1 & !Y MOV$ 9 TGR =A "T 9
,VIRG9IA1 :ILE ,NICOL@AS1 AL"O 9    #EIC
! L>GE H\SE 9 ,C>ACAS1 -PLA9$ T WE _H
AB&ON$ HM4 ,2F L;G1 ,CELIA APPE>$ 9 8
LIFE 6REV1L 6HM C]TA9 MY/]IES1 & 9 ! EU-
PHORIA ( REC5TLY 4COV]$ LOVE 8 SI/] & 8
"M 7 RELEGAT$ 6! BACKGR.D4 ,WE TALK$ BY
TELEPH"O 9 -PLICAT$ ?REE-WAY 3V]S,NS TO
TELL EA* O!R \R LATE/ ADV5TURES & 6-;T
EC/ATIC,Y ON ! AMAZ+ CO9CID;E ( ALL ?REE
( U HAV+ FALL5 9 LOVE AT ! SAME "T4 ,Z
SOON Z ,PAULA F9I%$ H] /UDIES1 %E & ,]-
NE/O WD MOVE 6,SPA91 ": !Y WD 2G9 ! SEC-
OND PHASE ( _! LIFE TGR4 ,NICOL@AS EX-
PLA9$ 6U T 8 SWEETHE>T 2L;G$ 6! MO/ RE-
AC;N>Y W+ (! ,CA?OLIC ,*UR*2 "! 0 NO "Q
( SLEEP+ "U ! SAME RO( 2F !Y 7 M>RI$1 &
S !Y PLANN$ 6W$ Z SOON Z POSSI#4 ,X
SEEM$ DI6ICULT 6"U/& :AT HE CD H 9 -MON
)A GIRL ^: ID1S 7 S DI6]5T F 8 [N1 B HE
REPLI$ CIRCUMSPECTLY T ,CELIA 0 S5S,NAL
9 ALL O!R WAYS &1 IF WE DID N PRESS H]1
HE 0 SURE H] RELIGI\S FANATICISM WD
FADE4 ,ONCE AG1 "T PROV$ HM "R4 ,MY
SON'S UNB1TA# /RATEGY IS 6PLANT 8 FEET
FIRMLY1 PLAY \ A LOT ( ROPE1 & WAIT1 ?US
AVOID+ USE.S 3FRONT,NS4 ,HE W9S     #EID
0\TWAIT+ 8 OPPOSI;N4 ,:5 HE 0 F\R YE>S
OLD & ,I 0 TRY+ 6T1* HM 6MAKE 8 B$1 HE
REPLI$ 9 8 SEMI-BABY TALK T HE 0 WILL+
6D ANY DOME/IC *ORE EXCEPT T "O4 ,X 0
USE.S 6TRY 6=CE HM2 F/ HE BRIB$ ,PAULA &
!N HE BE7$ ,GRANNY1 :O SN1K$ 9 "? A W9D[
6HELP HM UNTIL ,I SURPRIS$ H]1 PRECIPI-
TAT+ ! ONLY FI<T WE "E _H4 ,I ?"\ T
,NICOL@AS'S /U2ORN;S CD N LA/ ="E1 B =
TW5TY-TWO YE>S HE SLEPT ON ! FLOOR )!
DOGS1 L A BE7>4 ,N[ T HE _H A SWEETHE>T1
! PRO#M (! B$ 0 \ ( MY H&S4 ,:ILE HE 0
FALL+ 9 LOVE ) ,CELIA & /UDY+ -PUT] SCI-
;E AT ! UNIV]S;Y1 HE LE>N$ K>ATE & KUNG
FU 9 ORD] 6DEF5D HMF 9 AN EM]G5CY1 2C !
CRIM9ALS 9 ,C>ACAS _H S+L$ \ \R H\SE &
_H BROK5 & 5T]$ 9 BROAD "DLI<T1 P]H )!
B.S+ (! POLICE4
  ,"? \R UNABAT+ CORRESPOND;E1 MY "M 0
UP 6DATE ON ! DETAILS ( MY ADV5TURE 9 !
,UNIT$ ,/ATES1 B1 EV5 S1 %E 0 %OCK$ :5
%E >RIV$ 6VISIT MY NEW HOME4 ,6MAKE A GD
IMPRES.N1 ,I _H />*$ TA#CLO?S1 HI45 DOG
/A9S "U POTT$ PLANTS1 & MADE ,H>LEI<
SWE> 62HAVE L A HUMAN 2+ & 8 "F N   #EIE
6CURSE 9 ,SPANI% 9 MY "M'S PRES;E4 ,WIL-
LIE N ONLY CL1N$ UP 8 LANGUAGE1 HE PUT
AWAY ! C[BOY BOOTS & W5T 6A D]MATOLOGI/
6H ! TATTOO ON 8 H& ERAS$ )A LAS]1 B
LEFT ! SKULL ON 8 >M 2C ONLY ,I SEE X4
,MY "M 0 ! F/ 6SP1K ! ^W 8M>RIAGE10 Z %E
_H BE5 YE>S 2F ) ,MI*AEL4 8,H[ L;G D Y
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-E ME4 ,Z !Y CALL$ MY "N1 ,I ?"\ !Y _H
3FUS$ ME ) MY C\S9 ,ISABEL1 ,SALVADOR
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IES UNTIL X 2CAME .P]SONA .GRATA 9 !
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M>RI$ A ,TEXAS OIL MILLIONAIRE1 AC ME A
PRE/IGE IMPOSSI# "? M]E LIT]ATURE4 ,I _C
DESCRIBE ! EMO;N ,I FELT :5 WE CROSS$ !
MAJE/IC P1KS (! CORDILL]A (! ,&ES & ,I
/EPP$ ONTO ! SOIL ( MY HOMEL&1      #EIH
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TRY1 F"R5$ & AL"O1 "O W9TRY1 CL\DY LATE
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=! SUN ,I "K W RISE F>!R AL;G4 ,ON ! F/
TRIP1 ,I _H A W>M B TIMID WELCOME 2C !
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                                    #FJC
  ,PAULA CAME 6MY ROOM AG LA/ NI<T4 ,I
HE>D H] 5T] ) H] LI<T /EP &! /RIK+ GRACE
T 0 H]S 2F ! RAVAGES ( H] ILL;S2 9 H]
NI<TG[N & SLIPP]S1 %E CLIMB$ ONTO MY B$
& SAT AT MY FEET & TALK$ 6ME 9 ! VOICE
%E US$ 6EX*ANGE 3FID;ES4 8,LI/51 ,MAMA1
WAKE UP4 ,I DON'T WANT Y 6?9K Y'RE DR1M-
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6DIE & ,I C'T4 ,I SEE A RADIANT PA? 2F
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AM S TIR$6 ,:Y IS ? HAPP5+8 ,Y1 ,MAMA1
:O >E ALW TALK+ AB YR .FRLY ._SS1 ASK !M
:AT MY MIS.N IS1 :AT ,I H 6D4 ,I SUPPOSE
"! IS NO?+ 6FE>1 D1? IS J A ?RE%OLD1 L
BIR?4 ,I'M SORRY ,I C'T KEEP MY MEMORY1
B ,I H BE5 DETA*+ MYF F X1 ANYWAY2 :5 ,I
G ,I W G NAK$4 ,! ONLY RECOLLEC;N ,I'M
TAK+ ) ME IS (! LOV$ "OS ,I L1VE 2H2 ,I
W ALW 2 ) Y 9 "S WAY4 ,D Y REMEMB] ! LA/
?+ ,I 0 A# 6:ISP] 6Y 2F ,I SLIPP$ 96?
L;G NI<T8 ,8,I LOVE Y1 ,MAMA10' T'S :AT
,I SD4 ,I'M TELL+ Y AG1 N[1 & ,I    #FJD
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ONLY ?+ HOLD+ ME BACK A LL IS HAV+ 6G
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D1? F"R5S ME4 ,HELP ME "O M "T1 ,MAMA4
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/OP ! DOCTORS & M$IC9ES & PRAY]S1 2C
NO?+ W MAKE ME H1L?Y AG1 "! W 2 NO MIRA-
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,I DON'T WANT X ANYWAY2 ,I H LIV$ MY "T
& ,I WANT 6SAY GDBYE4 ,"EY"O 9 ! FAMILY
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ONLY "O :O HASN'T A3EPT$ ! FACT T ,I W
N"E 2 Z ,I 0 2F4 ,LOOK AT MY WA/$ BODY1
?9K ( H[ MY S\L WANTS 6ESCAPE &! T]RI#
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ME OR LOVE ANO!R WOMAN Z L;G Z MY   #FJE
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,I WANT Y 6SEE ME F N[ ON3 TWO BE/ FRS1
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,B ,I C'T BE> ! MIS]Y (! SEV5 YE>S ,DR4
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ME BACK ANY L;G]4 ,GIVE ,NICOL@AS A *.E4
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  8,WAKE UP1 Y'RE CRY+ 9 YR SLEEP60 ,I
HE> ,WILLIE'S VOICE -+ F A GRT 4T.E1 &1
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B>E FEET B>ELY BRU%+ ! C>PET4 ,2S MY B$
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CORN] (! H\SE ": NO "O C SEE U1 B WE AL
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_SUAL PA?S 6U & SWEEP+ \R LIVES     #FJI
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  8,NO1 N"E4 ,B IF ,I KNEW H[ 6SPE$ UP
H] D1? )\T PA91 ,I ?9K ,I WD D X4 ,IF ,I
DON'T1 SOON] OR LAT] ,NICOL@AS W1 & X
ISN'T FAIR = HM 6TAKE ON T RESPONSIBIL-
;Y4 ,I H A H&;L ( SLEEP+ PILLS ,I'VE BE5
KEEP+ = MON?S1 B ,I DON'T "K IF !Y'RE
5\<40
  8,OH1 ,ISABEL '''4 ,H[ M* C Y SU6]80
  8,I DON'T "K4 ,I ?9K ,I'M AT ! 5D ( MY
/R5G?4 ,IF ONLY ,I CD GIVE H] MY LIFE &
DIE 9 H] PLACE4 ,I'M LO/1 ,I DON'T "K :O
,I AM1 ,I TRY 6REMEMB] :O ,I 0 ONCE B ,I
F9D ONLY 4GUISES1 MASKS1 PROJEC;NS1 !
3FUS$ IMAGES (A WOMAN ,I C'T RECOGNIZE4
,AM ,I ! FEM9I/ ,I ?"\ ,I WAS1 OR !
FRIVOL\S GIRL :O APPE>$ ON TELEVI.N WE>+
NO?+ B O/RI* F1!RS8 ,! OBSESSIVE "M1 !
UNFAI?;L WIFE1 ! FE>.S ADV5TUR]1 OR !
C[>DLY WOMAN8 ,AM ,I ! P]SON :O     #FAA
HELP$ POLITICAL FUGITIVES F9D ASYLUM OR
! "O :O RAN AWAY 2C %E CDN'T H&LE FE>8
,TOO _M 3TRADIC;NS '''40
  8,Y'RE ALL ( !M1 & AL ! SAMURAI :O IS
BATTL+ D1?40
  8,WAS BATTL+1 ,JUAN4 ,I'VE LO/40

  ,DI6ICULT "TS4 ,WEEKS ( S* ANXIETY T
,I DON'T WANT 6SEE ANY"O2 ,I C B>ELY
SP1K OR EAT OR SLEEP2 ,I WRITE = H\RS ON
5D4 ,I KEEP LOS+ WEI<T4 ,UNTIL N[1 ,I 0
S BUSY FI<T+ ,PAULA'S ILL;S T ,I CD DCV
MYF1 IMAG9E T ,I CD W9 ? BATTLE ( ,TI-
TANS1 B N[ T ,I "K ,PAULA IS GO+1 MY EF-
=TS >E ABSURD4 ,%E IS WORN \2 T'S :AT %E
TELLS ME 9 MY DR1MS AT NI<T & :5 ,I WAKE
AT DAWN & :5 ,I AM WALK+ 9 ! =E/ &!
BREEZE C>RIES H] ^WS 6ME4 ,ON ! SURFACE1
"EY?+ SEEMS M OR LESS ! SAME--EXCEPT =
^? URG5T MESSAGES1 H] "E-W1K] VOICE ASK+
= HELP4 ,I AM N ! ONLY "O :O HE>S X1 !
WOM5 :O HELP ME C>E = H] >E 2G9N+ 6SAY
_! ADIEUS4 ,! MASSEUSE DECID$ X 0 N
WOR?:ILE 63T9UE H] SES.NS 2C1 Z %E SD1
8,\R GIRL IS N RESPOND+40 ,!        #FAB
PHYSIO!RAPI/ CALL$1 /AMM]+1 T;GUE-TI$ )
APOLOGIES1 UNTIL F9,Y HE 3FESS$ T
,PAULA'S 9CURA# ILL;S 0 A6ECT+ 8 5]GY4
,! D5TAL HYGI5I/ CAME1 A "Y WOMAN
,PAULA'S AGE1 )! SAME L;G HAIR & ?ICK
EYEBR[S1 S M* L H] !Y CD PASS = SI/]S4
,E TWO WEEKS1 %E CL1NS ,PAULA'S TEE? )
GRT DELICACY1 S %E WON'T HURT H]1 !N
HURRIES AWAY )\T LETT+ ME SEE H] FACE1
TRY+ 6HIDE H] EMO;NS4 ,%E REFUSES 6*>GE
ANY?+2 UP TILL N[1 "!'S BE5 NO OPPORTU-
N;Y = H] 6H& ME A BILL4 ,WE "W TGR1 2C
,PAULA 2COMES RIGID :5 ANY"O TRIES 6T\*
H] FACE2 ONLY ,I C OP5 H] M\? & BRU% H]
TEE?4 ,? VISIT ,I NOTIC$ ! HYGI5I/ 0
WORRI$2 NO MATT] H[ C>E;LLY ,I D ! DAILY
CL1N+1 "! >E PRO#MS ) ,PAULA'S GUMS4
,DR4 ,%IMA (T5 -ES 0ON ! WAY F "W & BR+S
ME MESSAGES F 8 ,I ,*+ /ICKS4 ,WE /&
CLOSE 6! B$1 TALK+ AB ! S\L & A3EPT+
D1?4 8,:5 %E L1VES U1 ,I W FEEL A GRT
VOID10 HE SAYS4 8,I'M US$ 6,PAULA N[1
%E'S V IMPORTANT 9 MY LIFE40 ,DR4 ,=RE/]
SEEMS UNEASY1 TOO4 ,AF H] LA/ EXAM9,N1
%E 0 SIL5T =A L;G "T :ILE %E ?"\    #FAC
OV] H] DIAGNOSIS1 & F9,Y %E SD T F A
CL9ICAL PO9T ( VIEW LL _H *ANG$2 N"E!.S1
%E SD1 ,PAULA SEEMS LESS & LESS ) U3 %E
SLEEPS TOO M*1 H] EYES >E GLASSY1 %E
DOESN'T REACT 6NOISES ANYMORE1 H] C]E-
BRAL FUNC;NS >E DIM9I%$4 ,B 9 SPITE (
"EY?+1 %E IS M B1UTI;L3 H] H&S & ANKLES
>E F9]1 H] NECK L;G]1 H] PALE *EEKS DRA-
MATIC,Y EMPHASIZE H] L;G BLACK EYELA%ES4
,H] FACE HAS AN ANGELIC EXPRES.N1 Z IF
F9,Y %E _H OBLIT]AT$ ALL D\BT & F.D !
DIV9E F.T %E _H S"\ S RESOLUTELY4 ,%E IS
S DI6]5T F ME6 ,I C'T RECOGNIZE ANY?+ (
ME 9 H]4 ,OR ( MY "M OR MY GR&"M--EXCEPT
! L>GE1 D>K1 SLI<TLY MELAN*OLY EYES4 ,:O
IS ? DAU<T] ( M9E8 ,:AT A3ID5T ( *ROMO-
SOMES NAVIGAT+ F "O G5],N 6! NEXT 9 !
MO/ RECONDITE SPACES (! BLOOD & HOPE DE-
T]M9$ ? GIRL8
  ,NICOL@AS & ,CELIA KEEP U -PANY2 WE
SP5D M* (! "D 9 ,PAULA'S ROOM1 CLOS$ N[
AG/ ! COLD4 ,9 ! SUMM]1 ! *N PLAY$ ON !
T]RACE 9 _! PLA/IC POOL LITT]$ ) D1D
MOSQUITOES & BITS ( S\PY COOKIES :ILE \R
9VALID RE/$ 2N A P>ASOL1 B N[ T     #FAD
AUTUMN IS G"O & W9T] IS 2G9N+1 ! H\SE
HAS DRAWN 96XF & WE ALL GA!R 9 ,PAULA'S
ROOM4 ,CELIA IS A 3SUMMATE ALLY1 G5]\S &
/A#2 %E HAS BE5 ACT+ Z MY ASSI/ANT =
S"EAL MON?S4 ,I DON'T H ! HE>T 6"W1 & )-
\T H] ,I WD 2 CRU%$ 2N A M.TA9 ( PAP]4
,%E USU,Y HAS A * 9 H] >MS OR DANGL+ ON
A HIP1 & H] BL\SE UNBUTTON$ 6NURSE ,AN-
DREA4 ,? GR&DAU<T] ( M9E IS ALW HAPPY2
%E PLAYS 0H]F & FALLS ASLEEP ON ! FLOOR
SUCK+ ! CORN] (A DIAP]1 S QUIET T WE =-
GET ": WE PUT H] &1 UN.S WE'RE C>E;L1 CD
/EP ON H]4 ,Z SOON Z ,I LE>N 6LIVE )
SAD;S1 ,I W TAKE ON MY GR&"MLY DUTIES4
,I W ?9K UP /ORIES =! *N1 BAKE COOKIES1
MAKE PUPPETS & COLOR;L CO/UMES 6FILL !
!AT] TRUNK4 ,I NE$ ,GRANNY2 IF %E 7 "H
%E WD 2 NE>LY EI<TY1 A SLI<TLY DOTTY &
E35TRIC OLD LADY ) ONLY A H&;L ( HAIR ON
H] H1D1 B ) H] TAL5T = RAIS+ *N 9TACT4

  ,X SEEMS ? YE> W N"E 5D1 YET ,I
DON'T "K ": ALL ! H\RS & "DS H G"O4 ,I
NE$ "T4 ,"T 6CLE> AWAY 3FU.N1 H1L W.DS1
& RENEW MYF4 ,:AT W ,I 2 L AT       #FAE
SIXTY8 ,N "O CELL (! GIRL ,I 0 REMA9S 9
! WOMAN ,I AM TD1 ONLY MEMORY1 5DUR+ &
P]SEV]+4 ,H[ L;G W X TAKE 6TRAVEL "? ?
D>K TUNNEL8 ,H[ L;G 6GET BACK ON MY
FEET8
  ,I KEEP ,PAULA'S LR 9 ! SAME T9 BOX T
3TA9S ,MEM@E'S RELICS4 ,I TAKE X \ "S"TS
R"E5TLY1 L A HOLY OBJECT1 IMAG9+ T X
3TA9S ! EXPLAN,N ,I L;G =1 TEMPT$ 6R1D X
B AL P>ALYZ$ 0SUP]/ITI\S FE>4 ,I ASK MYF
:Y A "Y1 H1L?Y1 DEEPLY 9 LOVE WOMAN 9 !
MI4LE ( H] H"OYMOON WD WRITE A LR 6BE
OP5$ AF H] D1?8 ,:AT DID %E SEE 9 H]
NI<TM>ES8 ,:AT MY/]IES LIE HI45 9 ! LIFE
( MY DAU<T]8 ,SORT+ "? OLD SNAP%OTS1 ,I
SEE H] AG FRE% & VITAL1 ALW ) AN >M >.D
H] HUSB&1 H] BRO!R1 OR H] FRS2 9 ALL (
!M1 EXCEPT H] W$D+ PICTURES1 %E IS 9
BLUE J1NS &A SIMPLE BL\SE1 H] HAIR TI$ )
A K]*IEF1 )\T ADORN;T4 ,T IS H[ ,I M/
REMEMB] H]1 B T SMIL+ GIRL HAS BE5 RE-
PLAC$ 0A MELAN*OLY FIGURE SUBM]S$ 9 SOL-
ITUDE & SIL;E4 8,LET'S OP5 ! LR10 ,CELIA
URG$ =! ?\S&? "T4 ,9 ! LA/ FEW "DS1 ,I H
BE5 UNA# 6-MUNICATE ) ,PAULA2 %E    #FAF
IS N VISIT+ ME N[4 ,2F1 ! M9UTE ,I /EPP$
"? ! DOOR ,I P]CVD H] ?IR/1 H] MUSCLE
CRAMPS1 ! V>I,NS 9 H] BLOOD PRESSURE &
TEMP]ATURE1 B N[ ,I C'T S5SE H] NE$S 9
ADV.E4 8,ALL "R1 LET'S OP5 X10 ,I AGRE$
F9,Y4 ,I W5T 6GET ! BOX2 %AKILY1 ,I
BROKE ! WAX S1L1 OP5$ ! 5VELOPE1 & TOOK
\ TWO PAGES WRITT5 9 ,PAULA'S PRECISE
H&1 & R1D AL\D4 ,H] CLE> ^WS CAME 6U F
ANO!R "T4
  ..,I D N WANT 6REMA9 TRAPP$ 9 MY BODY4
,FRE$ F X1 ,I W 2 CLOS] 6^? ,I LOVE1 NO
MATT] IF !Y >E AT ! F\R CORN]S (! PLAN-
ET4 ,X IS DI6ICULT 6EXPRESS ! LOVE ,I
L1VE 2H1 ! DEP?S (! FEEL+S T JO9 ME TO
,]NE/O1 6MY P>5TS1 6MY BRO!R1 6MY GR&P>-
5TS4 ,I "K Y W REMEMB] ME1 & Z L;G Z Y
D1 ,I W 2 ) Y4 ,I WANT 6BE CREMAT$ & H
MY A%ES SCATT]$ \TDOORS4 ,I D N WANT A
TOMB/"O ) MY "N ANY":1 ,I PREF] 6LIVE 9
! HE>TS ( ^? ,I LOVE1 & 6RETURN 6! E>?4
,I H A SAV+S A3.T2 USE X 6HELP *N :O NE$
6G 6S*OOL OR 6EAT4 ,DIVIDE MY ?+S AM;G
ANY :O WANT A KEEPSAKE--ACTU,Y1 "! IS V
LL4 ,PL1SE DON'T 2 SAD1 ,I AM / )   #FAG
Y1 EXCEPT ,I AM CLOS] ?AN ,I 0 2F4 ,9
ANO!R "T1 WE W 2 REUNIT$ 9 _S1 B = N[ WE
W 2 TGR Z L;G Z Y REMEMB] ME4 ,]NE/O
'''4 ,I H LOV$ Y DEEPLY & / D2 Y >E AN
EXTRAORD9>Y MAN & ,I DON'T D\BT T Y C 2
HAPPY AF ,I AM G"O4 ,MAMA1 ,PAPA1 ,NICO1
,GR&"M1 ,T@IO ,RAM@ON2 Y >E ! BE/ FAMILY
,I CD "E H _H4 ,DON'T =GET ME1 & '''
LET'S SEE A SMILE ON ^? FACES6 ,REMEMB]
T WE _SS C BE/ HELP1 A3OMPANY1 & PRO-
TECT1 ^? :O >E HAPPY4 ,I LOVE Y DE>LY4
    .,PAULA4

  ,W9T] IS BACK & X WON'T /OP RA9+2 X'S
COLD1 & Y >E WORSE E "D4 ,=GIVE ME =
HAV+ MADE Y WAIT S L;G ,PAULA '''4 ,I'VE
BE5 TOO SL[1 B N[ ,I H NO D\BT1 YR LR IS
S REV1L+6 ,C.T ON ME1 ,I PROMISE ,I W
HELP Y1 J GIVE ME A LL M "T4 ,I SIT 2S Y
9 ! QUIET ( YR ROOM 9 ? W9T] T W 2 ET]-
NAL = ME1 ! TWO ( U AL"O1 J Z WE H BE5 S
(T5 OV] ^! MON?S1 & ,I OP5 MYF 6PA9 )\T
(F]+ ANY RESI/.E4 ,I RE/ MY H1D ON YR
*E/ & FEEL ! IRREGUL> B1T ( YR HE>T1 !
W>M? ( YR SK91 ! SL[ RHY?M ( YR     #FAH
BR1?+2 ,I CLOSE MY EYES &=A FEW 9/ANTS
IMAG9E T Y >E SIMPLY SLEEP+4 ,B SORR[
EXPLODES )9 ME )! FURY (A SU45 /ORM & ,I
FEEL YR NI<TG[N GR[ DAMP ) MY TE>S :ILE
A VISC]AL MOAN BORN 9 ! DEP?S (! E>?
RISES "? MY BODY L A SPE> & FILLS MY
M\?4 ,!Y ASSURE ME Y >E N SU6]+4 ,H[ D
!Y "K8 ,X MAY 2 T 9 ! 5D Y H 2COME AC-
CU/OM$ 6! IRON >MOR ( P>ALYSIS1 & H =-
GOTT5 ! TA/E (A P1* OR ! SIMPLE PL1SURE
( RUNN+ YR F+]S "? YR HAIR1 B YR S\L IS
TRAPP$ & YE>NS 6BE FREE4 ,"! IS NO RES-
PITE F ? OBSES.N2 ,I "K T ,I H FAIL$ 9 !
MO/ IMPORTANT *ALL5GE ( MY LIFE4 ,5\<6
,J LOOK AT ! RU9S ( :AT IS LEFT ( Y1
,PAULA ''' DE> ,GOD6 ,? IS ! PREMONI;N Y
_H ON YR H"OYMOON1 & :Y Y WROTE ! LR4
8,PAULA IS ALR A SA9T1 %E IS 9 H1V5 &
SU6]+ HAS WA%$ AWAY ALL H] S9S10 SAYS
,9@ES1 YR SC>R$ ,SALVADORAN NURSE :O
SPOILS Y L A BABY4 ,H[ LOV+LY WE C>E =
Y6 ,Y >E N"E AL"O1 "D OR NI<T2 E HALF-
H\R WE MOVE Y1 6MA9TA9 :AT LL FLEXIBIL;Y
Y H LEFT2 WE MONITOR E DROP ( WAT] & E
GRAM ( FOOD2 Y RCV YR M$IC9ES ON    #FAI
A PRECISE S*$ULE2 2F WE DRESS Y WE BA! Y
& MASSAGE Y ) LO;N 6KEEP YR SK9 H1L?Y4
8,X'S 9CR$I# :AT Y'VE BE5 A# 6D2 %E
WDN'T D ? WELL 9 ANY HOSPITAL10 SAYS
,DR4 ,=RE/]4 8,%E C LIVE SEV5 YE>S10
,DR4 ,%IMA PREDICTS4 ,= :AT8 ,Y >E L !
FAIRY-TALE ,SLEEP+ ,B1UTY 9 H] GLASS C(-
F91 EXCEPT T NO PR9CE W -E 6SAVE Y )A
KISS2 NO "O C WAKE Y F ? F9AL DR1M4 ,YR
ONLY EXIT1 ,PAULA1 IS D1?4 ,N[ ,I C D>E
?9K X1 SAY X 6Y1 & WRITE X 9 MY YELL[
PAD4 ,I CALL ^U MY /URDY GR&"F & MY
CLAIRVOYANT GR&"M 6HELP Y CROSS ! ?RE%-
OLD & 2 BORN ON ! O!R SIDE2 ,I ESPECI,Y
SUMMON ,GRANNY1 YR GR&"M )! TRANSP>5T
EYES1 ! "O :O DI$ ( SORR[ :5 %E _H 6BE
SEP>AT$ F Y4 ,I CALL H] 6-E ) H] GOLD5
SCISSORS 6CUT ! /R;G ?R1D T KEEPS Y TI$
6YR BODY4 ,H] PHOTO--:5 %E IS / "Y1 )!
H9T (A SMILE & LIQUID EYES--IS NE> YR
B$1 Z >E ^? ( ALL YR GUID+ _SS4 ,-E1
,GRANNY1 -E = YR GR&DAU<T]1 ,I PL1D1 B
,I FE> T NEI %E NOR ANY O!R %ADE W -E TO
LIFT ? *ALICE ( ANGUI% F ME4 ,I W 2 AL"O
2S Y 6TAKE Y 0! H& 6! V DOORWAY     #FBJ
6D1?1 &1 IF ,I C1 ,I W CROSS "? ) Y4
  ,C ,I LIVE 9 YR /1D8 ,C>RY Y 9 MY BODY
S Y C RECOV] ! FIFTY OR SIXTY YE>S /OL5
F Y8 ,I DON'T M1N REMEMB] Y1 B LIVE YR
LIFE1 2 Y1 LET Y LOVE & FEEL & BR1! 9
ME1 LET MY GE/URES 2 YRS1 MY VOICE YR
VOICE4 ,LET ME 2 ERAS$1 4SOLV$1 S T Y
TAKE POSSES.N ( MY BODY1 OH1 ,PAULA1 S T
YR 9EXHAU/I# & JOY;L GD;S MAY -PLETELY
REPLACE MY LIFEL;G FE>S1 MY PALTRY AMBI-
;NS1 MY DEPLET$ VAN;Y4 ,6V5T MY SU6]+1
,I WANT 6SCR1M 6MY LA/ BR1?1 R5D MY
CLO?+1 PULL \ MY HAIR1 SME> MYF ) A%ES1
B ,I H LIV$ HALF A C5TURY "U RULES (
PROP] 2HAVIOR2 ,I AM AN EXP]T 9 SUP-
PRESS+ WRA? & BE>+ PA91 S ,I H NO VOICE
= SCR1M+4 ,MAYBE ! DOCTORS >E MISTAK5 &!
MA*9ES LIE1 MAYBE Y >E N 5TIRELY UNCON-
SCI\S & Y >E AW>E ( MY /ATE ( M9D2 ,I M/
N 4TRESS Y ) MY WEEP+4 ,I AM DR[N+ 9
*OK$-BACK GRIEF4 ,I G \TSIDE ON ! T]RACE
": "! IS N 5 AIR 6FE$ MY SOBS OR 5 RA9
6CRY MY TE>S4 ,I GET 96MY C> & DRIVE
AWAY F ! T[N T[>D ! HILLS2 ALM BLLY1 ,I
R1* ! =E/ ": ,I G 6WALK1 ! HAV5     #FBA
": ,I S (T5 -E 6BE AL"O & ?9K4 ,I PLUNGE
96! WOODS AL;G PA?S MADE R\< ) W9T]'S
DEBRIS4 ,I RUN1 TRIPP+ OV] BRAN*ES &
ROCKS1 PU%+ "? ! SATURAT$ GRE5]Y ( ? VA/
BOSKY SPACE1 S L ! =E/S ( MY *ILDHOOD1 !
"OS ,I CROSS$ "? ON MULEBACK1 FOLL[+ 2H
MY GR&"F4 ,MY FEET >E H1VY ) MUD & MY
CLO!S >E DRIPP+ & MY S\L IS BLE$+1 & Z X
GR[S D>K1 & :5 F9,Y ,I C G NO F>!R AF
WALK+ & /UMBL+ & SLIPP+ & GETT+ UP TO
FL.D] ON1 ,I DROP 6MY KNEES1 TE> MY
BL\SE1 RIPP+ (F BUTTONS1 &) MY >MS OP5$
96A CROSS & MY BR1/ NAK$1 ,I SCR1M YR
"N1 ,PAULA4 ,! RA9 IS A MANTLE ( D>K
CRY/AL & SOMB] CL\DS L[] AM;G ! BLACK
TREETOPS &! W9D BITES AT MY BR1/S1 TURNS
MY B"OS 6ICE1 SCRUBS ME CL1N 9SIDE ) XS
SWIRL+1 W9TRY TATT]S4 ,I BURY MY H&S 9 !
MUCK1 CLAW \ WET CLODS ( DIRT1 & RUB !M
ON MY FACE & M\?1 ,I *EW LUMPS ( SAL9E
MUD1 ,I GULP ! ACID ODOR ( HUMUS & M$IC-
9AL >OMA ( EUCALYPTUS4 8,E>?1 WELCOME MY
DAU<T]1 RCV H]1 TAKE H] 6YR BOSOM2 ,"M
,GO4ESS ,E>?1 HELP U10 ,I BEG ,H]1 &
MOAN 96! NI<T FALL+ >.D ME1 CALL+   #FBB
Y1 CALL+ Y4 ,F> 9 ! 4T.E1 A FLOCK ( WILD
DUCKS PASSES1 & !Y C>RY YR "N 6! S\?4
,PAULA ''' ,PAULA '''





















               ,,EPILOGUE           #FBC

             ,*RI/MAS #AIIB

  ,NE> DAWN ON ,SUN"D1 ,DECEMB] #F1 AF A
MIRACUL\S NI<T 9 : ! VEILS T 3C1L R1L;Y
7 "P$1 ,PAULA DI$4 ,X 0 AT F\R 9 ! MORN-
+4 ,H] LIFE 5D$ )\T /RU7LE1 ANXIETY1 OR
PA92 9 H] PASS+ "! 0 ONLY ! ABSOLUTE
P1CE & LOVE ( ^? ( U :O 7 ) H]4 ,%E DI$
9 MY >MS1 SURR.D$ 0H] FAMILY1 ! ?"\S (
^? ABS5T1 &! _SS ( H] ANCE/ORS :O _H -E
6H] AID4 ,%E DI$ )! SAME P]FECT GRACE T
"*IZ$ ALL ! ACTS ( H] LIFE4
  ,= "S "T1 ,I _H S5S$ ! 5D4 ,I KNEW )!
SAME IRREFUTA# C]TA9TY ) : ,I AWAK5$ "O
MORN+ 9 #AIFC "K+ T1 ONLY A FEW H\RS 2F1
A DAU<T] _H BE5 3CVD 9 MY WOMB4 ,D1?
CAME )A LI<T /EP4 ,PAULA'S S5SES _H BE5
CLOS+ D[N1 "O 0"O1 DUR+ ! PREVI\S WEEKS2
,I ?9K %E CD N HE> ANY L;G]1 H] EYES 7
ALM ALW CLOS$1 & %E DID N REACT :5 WE
T\*$ OR MOV$ H]4 ,9EXORABLY1 %E 0 DRIFT+
AWAY4 ,I WROTE A LR 6MY BRO!R DESCRIB+ !
SYMPTOMS IMP]CEPTI# 6O!RS B EVID5T 6ME1
LOOK+ AH1D )A /RANGE MIXTURE (      #FBD
ANGUI% & RELIEF4 ,JUAN ANSW]$ )A S+LE
S5T;E3 ,I AM PRAY+ = H] &= Y4 ,6LOSE
,PAULA 0 UNBE>A# TOR;T1 B X WD 2 WORSE
6WAT* H] SL[LY AGONIZE "? ! SEV5 YE>S
=ESE5 0! ,I ,*+ /ICKS4 ,T ,SATUR"D1
,9@ES CAME E>LY & WE PREP>$ ! BAS9S (
WAT] 6BA! ,PAULA & WA% H] HAIR2 WE SET \
H] CLO!S =! "D1 & *ANG$ H] %EETS1 Z WE
DID EA* MORN+4 ,Z WE 2GAN 6REMOVE H]
NI<TG[N1 WE NOTIC$ %E 0 DEEP 9 AN ABNOR-
MAL SOPOR1 L A SWOON1 LIFE.S1 & WE>+ !
EXPRES.N (A *1 Z IF %E _H RETURN$ 6! IN-
NOC5T AGE :5 %E US$ 6CUT FL[]S 9 ,GRAN-
NY'S G>D54 ,I KNEW !N T %E 0 R1DY = H]
LA/ ADV5TURE &1 9 "O B.S$ 9/ANT1 ! 3FU.N
& T]ROR ( ? YE> ( A6LIC;N VANI%$1 GIV+
WAY 6A DIAPHAN\S TRANQUILL;Y4 8,D Y M9D1
,9@ES1 ,I WANT 6BE AL"O ) H]10 ,I ASK$4
,9@ES ?REW H]F ON ,PAULA & KISS$ H]4
8,TAKE MY S9S ) Y1 & TRY 6F9D =GIVE;S =
ME UP "!10 %E PL1D$1 & %E DID N WANT TO
L1VE UNTIL ,I ASSUR$ H] T ,PAULA _H HE>D
H] & WD S]VE Z H] MESS5G]4 ,I W5T 6AD-
VISE MY "M1 :O HURRI$LY DRESS$ & CAME
D[N 6,PAULA'S ROOM4 ,! ?REE ( U 7   #FBE
AL"O1 A3OMPANI$ 0! CAT1 CR\*$ 9 A CORN]
) H] 9SCRUTA# AMB] PUPILS FIX$ ON ! B$1
WAIT+4 ,WILLIE 0 DO+ ! M>KET+ & ,CELIA &
,NICOL@AS N"E -E ON ,SATUR"DS1 T'S ! "D
!Y CL1N _! A"P;T1 S ,I CALCULAT$ WE _H
S"EAL H\RS 6SAY \R F>EWELLS )\T 9T]RUP-
;NS4 ,MY DAU<T]-IN-LAW1 H["E1 WOKE T
MORN+ )A PRES5TI;T &1 )\T A ^W ( EXPLA-
N,N1 LEFT H] HUSB& 6! H\SEHOLD *ORES1
PICK$ UP H] TWO *N1 & CAME 6SEE U4 ,%E
F.D MY "M ON "O SIDE (! B$ & ME ON ! O?-
]1 SIL5TLY C>ESS+ ,PAULA4 ,%E SAYS T !
M9UTE %E 5T]$ ! ROOM1 %E NOTIC$ H[ / !
AIR WAS1 & :AT A DELICATE LI<T 5VELOP$
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