,,MIRACLE ,,ON ,,! #AG? ,,GRE5

               A NOVEL BY
          ,,JAMES ,,PATT]SON &
           ,,PET] ,,DE ,,J;GE

              ,PUBLI%$ BY
    ,LL1 ,BR[N & ,-PANY1 ,NEW ,YORK
    ,COPY"R #AIIF 0,JAMES ,PATT]SON
  ,FUR!R REPRODUC;N OR 4TRIBU;N 9 O!R
  ?AN A SPECIALIZ$ =MAT IS PROHIBIT$4

      ,TRANSCRIB$ 9 ,5GLI% ,BRL BY
   ,%>ON ,CILLEY1 ,JANELLE ,3/ANT9O1
     ,COLLE5 ,BOE1 & ,G9NY ,SPADONI
          ,"EGRE5 ,BRL ,S]VICE
           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON
             ,9 #B ,VOLUMES
               ,VOLUME #B
        ,PAGES ;I-;II & #HI-AFD

          ,"U ! ,SPONSOR%IP (
  ,WA%+TON ,TALK+ ,BOOK & ,BRL ,LIBR>Y
           ,S1TTLE1 ,WA%+TON
                 #BJJF
                                     ;II
























               ,*APT] #BA            #HI

  8,I HOPE Y'VE 5JOY$ YR LL TIPTOE "? !
TULIPS1 ,TRAVIS10 SD ,E>L1 82C ! "PY'S
OV]40
  8,EXCUSE ME80
  ,! TWO ( U 7 SIPP+ FREE BE] 9 ! LO2Y
B> (! ,M>RIOTT AT ! 5D ( MY F/ P]FECTLY
DELI<T;L WEEK ON T\R1 & ,E>L 0 ALR R1D+
ME ! RIOT ACT4
  8,I DON'T "K :AT .Y GOT 9 M9D =! NEXT
N9E MON?S1 B .,I DIDN'T -E \ "H 6HUMP A
BAG = "S />/RUCK T\RI/ :O C'T TELL !
DI6];E 2T A BOONDO7LE &! *.E (A LIFE"T4
,TRAVIS1 D Y "K H[ _M GOLF]S WD KILL _!
PETS =A YE>'S EXEMP;N8 ,&! SAD ?+ IS1 Y
CD D "S R1L DAMAGE \ "H4 ,B Y'VE GOT S
M* 6LE>N X ISN'T EV5 FUNNY4 ,S EI Y GET
S]I\S1 OR ,I'M GO+ BACK 6,MONROE & "W ON
MY [N GAME40
  ,I DON'T "K IF ,I 0 M EMB>RASS$ OR
GRATE;L1 2C ,I KNEW ,E>L 0 "R4 ,9 MY
TW5TY-?REE-YE> C>E] Z AN ADV]TIS+ COPY-
WRIT]1 ,I CAME UP ) ALL K9DS ( R1SONS :Y
,I 0 BETT] (F N TRY+ "PICUL>LY H>D1 & ,I
/ /& 0MO/ ( !M4 ,B TWO WEEKS AGO     #IJ
ON A L;G HOT ,SUN"D 9 ,TALLAHASSEE1 ALL
^? R1SONS EXPIR$4
  ,IF ,I CDN'T SUCK X UP N[1 ,I 0 EI A
C[>D OR A FOOL4 ,& ,I DIDN'T ?9K ,I 0
EI4
  ,F T "D ON1 ,I />T$ EAT+1 SLEEP+1 &
DEFECAT+ GOLF4 ,N ONLY DID ,I PLAY &
PRACTICE EI<T H\RS A "D1 SEV5 "DS A
WEEK1 9CLUD+ AT L1/ F\R H\RS A "D ON !
RANGE & PRACTICE GRE51 B ,I ?REW MYF 96X
)A 3VIC;N & 3C5TR,N ,I _H N"E BR"\ 6ANY-
?+ ELSE4 ,=! F/ "T 9 MY ADULT LIFE1 ,I
FELT L ,I 0 LAY+ X ALL ON ! L9E E "D1
PUTT+ MY V S\L 96X1 LIV+ L AN >TI/4
  ,"O ( MY E>LY PROJECTS1 & "S?+ T MO/
4T+UI%ES A PRO F A L[ H&ICAPP]1 0 4T.E
3TROL4 ,:5 ,I F/ JO9$ ! T\R1 ,I 0 ALM
4APPO9T$ 0! WAY ! PLAY]S /RUCK ! BALL4
,! F/ "T ,I SAW ,DAVE ,/OCKTON1 ,I ?"\
HE LOOK$ L AB A #E-H&ICAPP]4 ,!N ,I SAW
HM .PUTT4
  ,! FACT IS1 EV5 ! HALL ( FAM]S R>ELY
HIT X ANY": NE> D1D-SOLID P]FECT4 ,:AT !
GD PROS D H1 ?\<1 IS ? V KE5 BOTTOM-L9E-
NO-BULL%IT "U/&+ ( _! [N ABIL;Y1 &   #IA
T />TS ) "K+ EXACTLY H[ F> !Y HIT E CLUB
9 _! BAG4 ,N H[ F> !Y .WI% !Y HIT X1 OR
H[ F> !Y HIT X .ONCE1 B H[ F> !Y >E GO+
6HIT X ."U .PRESSURE N9ETY-N9E \ (A
HUNDR$ "TS4
  ,AF ! T\RNA;T AT ,OJAI1 ,I SET AB TRY+
6ACQUIRE & REF9E T SAME SELF-K4 ,! F/
MON?1 ,I SP5T AT L1/ TWO H\RS A "D "W+
MY WAY F MY W$GE 6MY #E-IRON1 UNTIL ,I
KNEW )9 "O OR TWO Y>DS H[ F> ,I CD EX-
PECT 6HIT EA* "O ( !M4
  ,B1 !N AG1 ,I "W$ L A DOG ON E "P ( MY
GAME4 ,"O "D ,I SQUEEZ$ ON "S SUNBLOCK1
GRA2$ A T[EL &A BOTTLE ( ,GATORADE1 &
SP5T AN 5TIRE AFN 9 A PRACTICE BUNK]4 ,I
"K H[ L;G ,I 0 "! 2C ,TREV9O SD HELLO TO
ME ON 8 WAY 6A PRACTICE R.D1 PLAY$ ! EN-
TIRE R.D1 W5T 96! CLUBH\SE1 %[]$1 & _H A
S&WI*1 & :5 HE CAME \ ,I 0 / SCOOP+ LL
HOLES 9 ! S&4
  8,IF Y'RE J TRY+ 6IMPRESS ME1 ,TRAV-
IS10 SD ,TREV9O1 8X'S "W+4 ,N[1 IF Y
DON'T GET \ ( "! SOON1 "S"O'S GO+ 6RE-
PORT Y 6! UNION40
  ,I MADE A PL1SANT 4COV]Y4 ,Y "W    #IB
H>D AT "S?+ EI<T H\RS A "D1 Y GET BETT]4
,N A LOT BETT] NECESS>ILY1 B A LL BETT]1
& T'S J F9E1 2C IMPROV+ AT GOLF1 OR ANY-
?+ ELSE PROBABLY1 IS J A MATT] ( MAK+ AN
5D.S S]IES ( T9Y IMPROVE;TS4
  ,SL[LY B SURELY1 ,I 2GAN 6FEEL L A
PROFES.NAL GOLF]4 ,I KNEW ! EXACT 4T.ES
,I HIT E "O ( MY CLUBS4 ,I DIDN'T GET
UPTI<T E "T ,I _H 6LAG A =TY-FOOT] OR
HIT A FLOP %OT \ (! R\<4
  ,OBVI\SLY GOLF IS N A CRAFT T ANY"O "E
MA/]S1 B "O MO;T 9 MY APPR5TICE%IP /&S
\4
  ,X 0 9 MY FIF? PRO T\RNA;T1 ,BRUNO'S
,MEMORIAL 9 ,BIRM+HAM1 ,ALABAMA4 ,LOOK+
AT A FLY] LIE 9 ! R\<1 6A GRE5 T SLOP$
%>PLY F FRONT 6RE>1 &A FLAG CUT 9 ! V
FRONT1 ,I DID "S?+ ,I _H N"E EV5 3SID]$
DO+ Z AN AMATEUR4 ,I HIT ! BALL SMACK
96! C5T] (! GRE5SIDE BUNK]4 ,ON PURPOSE4
  ,F "! ,I BLA/$ 6F\R FEET1 & CL1N$ UP
MY MESS = P>4
  ,X 0 J A P>1 B X FELT L A LOT M ?AN T4
  ,E>L KNEW :AT X M1NT1 TOO1 2C Z WE
WALK$ (F ! GRE51 HE /UCK \ 8 H&1     #IC
LOOK$ ME 9 ! EYE1 & SD1 8,TRAVIS1 WEL-
-E 6! ,S5IOR ,T\R40
  ,AF PLAY+ ! GAME = =TY-TWO YE>S1 ,I
FELT L A S]I\S GOLF]4 ,NO GIMMES4 ,NO
MULLIGANS4 ,NO BULL%IT4



















               ,*APT] #BB            #ID

  ,"T =A GOLF QUIZ4
  ,"O "Q4 ,?IRTY SECONDS4 ,"H GOES4
  ,Y'RE 9 ! SECOND R.D (A T\RNA;T4 ,Y
%OT EV5 P> ! F/ "D1 & -E \ ON FIRE ON
,SATUR"D1 GO+ F\R "U 9 ! F/ FIVE HOLES4
,& LET'S SAY1 =! SAKE ( >GU;T1 T AF A
SOLID DRIVE ON ! P>-#E #F?1 Y F9D YRF
#BJE Y>DS F A SMALL GRE51 PROTECT$ 9
FRONT 0WAT]4 ,:AT"E LL W9D "! IS IS F "R
6LEFT4
  ,:AT D Y D8 ,I'M ASK+1 2C 9 MY SIX?
EV5T1 ! ,DALLAS ,REUNION ,PRO-,AM1 ,I
F.D MYF 9 ? V SITU,N4 ,! CLOCK HAS J
/>T$ TICK+4 ..,:AT D Y .D8
  ,D Y G =! GRE5 & TRY 6GET 6FIVE OR EV5
SIX "U P> =! N9E1 OR D Y LAY UP & TRY TO
WALK AWAY QUIETLY ) YR P>8 ,REMEMB]1
Y'RE F\R "U P>4 ,Y'RE SMOK+4 ,D Y KEEP !
P$AL 6! METAL & RISK A CRA%1 OR D Y EASE
(F ! GAS UNTIL ? NA/Y LL /RET* IS SAFELY
2H Y8
  ,TICK4 ,TICK4 ,TICK4 ,Y'RE D[N 6FIFTE5
SECONDS4
  ,S :AT W X BE8 ,! LADY OR ! TI-    #IE
G]8 ,GRE$ OR CAU;N8 ,! *UMP *ANGE 9 ,BOB
,B>K]'S SW1TY FI/1 OR :AT'S 2H ! LOVELY
HI<-HEEL$ ,C>OL & DOOR NUMB] "O8 ,S
:AT'S X GO+ 6BE1 PUNK8 ,>E Y FEEL+
LUCKY8 ,>E Y FEEL+ TAL5T$8
  ,"! GOES ! BUZZ]4 ,"T'S UP4 ,PUT YR
P5CILS D[N & PASS YR PAP]S 6! "R4
  ,Y DECID$ 6LAY UP1 DIDN'T Y8 ,! M Y
MULL$ X OV]1 ! M X SEEM$ L ! ONLY ?+ 6D4
,AF ALL1 Y ?"\1 Y'RE ALR F\R "U =! N9E1
:Y PU% YR LUCK4
  ,I MADE ! ID5TICAL *OICE4 ,S ,I'LL
TELL Y :AT HAPP5$4
  ,S9CE ,I 0 ONLY #ADJ Y>DS F ! />T (!
WAT]1 ,I HIT A S(T PIT* 6! WAT]'S $GE4
,!N1 WANT+ 6MAKE SURE ,I WASN'T GO+ 6GET
WET--,I'M PLAY+ ? HOLE 3S]VATIVELY1 AF
ALL--,I HIT MY SECOND W$GE A LL /R;G &
ROLL$ X FIVE FEET (F ! BACK (! GRE54
,!N1 AF A S-S *IP1 ,I'VE GOT AN EI<T-
FOOT] 6SAVE P>4
  ,I MISS ! PUTT & WALK AWAY N S QUIETLY
)A BOGEY4
  ,0PLAY+ S5SIBLY & 9TELLIG5TLY1 ,I _H
TAK5 A POSSI# EAGLE1 OR V LIKELY A   #IF
TWO-PUTT BIRDIE1 & TURN$ X 96A GODDAMN
BOGEY1 & -PLETELY BL[N MY FRAME ( M9D4
  ,Y SEE1 ,I _H PRACTIC$ & PRACTIC$ &
TRULY GOTT5 6BE A .BETT] .GOLF]4 ,N[1 ,I
_H 6LE>N 6GET US$ 6! FACT1 OR Z ! PROS L
6PUT X1 ,I _H 6GET 8-=TA#0 ) X4
  ,I M1N1 :Y 9 ! _W1 :5 ! W9D ISN'T A
FACTOR1 WD Y N G =A GRE5 T'S ONLY #BJE
Y>DS AWAY1 EXCEPT =! FACT T Y'VE SU45LY
F.D YRF F\R "U P> & >E />T+ 6WEIRD \ &
ASK YRF ALL K9DS ( IRRELEVANT "QS8
  8,X'S L Y'RE EMB>RASS$ AB 2+ GD1
,TRAVIS10 SD ,E>L AF ! R.D4 8,ALM A%AM$
( X4 ,& S Z SOON Z Y GET ?REE OR F\R "U1
Y />T WAIT+ =! GOLF+ GODS 6TURN >.D &
PUNI% YR ASS4 ,TRAVIS1 X'S NO CRIME (
NATURE = Y 6BE GD AT "S?+ ''' "PICUL>LY
"S?+ Z ESS5TI,Y M1N+.S Z GOLF40
  ,PLUS1 IF ,I C WAX PHILOSOPHICAL =A
P>AGRAPH1 "!'S AN EV5 M FUNDA;TAL PR9CI-
PLE 9VOLV$ "H1 & X APPLIES 6"EY?+ F :AT
Y DECIDE 6D =A LIV+1 6MAK+ AN OMELETTE1
: IS T "! IS NO?+ S 3SI/5TLY DANG]\S1 N
6M5;N M LIKELY 6MESS ) YR H1D & L1VE Y
MUTT]+ 96YR BE]1 ?AN PLAY+ X SAFE4   #IG
  ,( C\RSE1 ,I CD 2 WR;G4























               ,*APT] #BC            #IH

  ,:5 ,I LOOK BACK ON :AT TOOK PLACE AT
! ,BELL,S\? ,CLASSIC 9 ,NA%VILLE1 ,T5-
;SEE1 ON ! F/ WEEK5D ( ,JUNE1 ,I C SEE
N[ T ,E>L 0 DROPP+ "O H9T AF ANO!R AB H[
X 0 GO+ 65D4 ,B =TUNATELY AT ! "T1 ,I 0
TOO CAU<T UP 9 ! EV5TS MYF 6"U/& ANY (
!M4
  ,= />T]S1 "! 0 ,E>L'S SLI<T1 B DETECT-
A#1 LIMP4 ,MAYBE ,I WASN'T LOOK+ CLOSELY
5\<1 B 9 SEV5 T\RNA;TS1 ,I _HN'T NOTIC$
,E>L D T 2F4
  ,EV5 M CURI\S1 H["E1 0 T ,E>L1 :O HAS
N"E EXHIBIT$ EV5 ! SLI<TE/ T5.N ON !
GOLF C\RSE1 & AF A DECADE ( 2+ %OT AT 9
,S\?EA/ ,ASIA 3SID]S ! :OLE NO;N ( A?-
LETIC PRESSURE 9SULT+1 0 M N]V\S ?AN ,I
WAS4
  ,YES1 ,I _H J BIRDI$ ?REE HOLES 9 A R[
&1 YES1 ,I 0 TI$ =! L1D (A PRO T\RNA;T =
! F/ "T4 ,B /1 X 0 ONLY ,SATUR"D4 ,! WAY
,I SAW X1 ,I %D AT L1/ WAIT UNTIL ,SUN"D
6/>T *OK+ MY BRA9S \4
  ,& !N "! 0 ,E>L'S .EXTREME .URG5CY1 :
SEEM$ A LL MISPLAC$ "U ! CIRCUM-     #II
/.ES4 ,EV5 AF ,I _H BIRDI$ #AE1 #AF1 &
#AG1 ,E>L 0 / RID+ ME L A JOCKEY GO+ 6!
:IP 9 ! HOME/RET*4 8,WE GOT 6H "O M
BIRDIE1 ,TRAVIS10 SD ,E>L Z WE APPROA*$
! #AH? GRE54 8,WE J GOT TO40
  ,N[1 ,I APPRECIATE ! VALUE (A BIRDIE Z
M* Z ! NEXT P]SON1 & ,I "U/& ! NE$ = "W+
A HOT H& = ALL Y C GET1 B :Y1 ,I WOND]$1
0 X S IMPORTANT "R N[8
  ,& F9,Y "! 0 ,E>L'S ,*E%IRE CAT GR9 :5
,I DID 9 FACT S9K T LA/ T5-FOOT PUTT AT
#AH 6TAKE ! \T"R L1D1 &! WAY HE SD "U 8
BR1?1 8,PEB# ,B1*1 "H WE -E40 ,PEB#
,B1*1 ,AM]ICA'S MO/ SPECTACUL> GOLF
C\RSE1 0 GO+ 6BE HO/+ ! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR
,OP5 A MON? LAT]1 B ! ONLY WAY ,I 0 GO+
6GET AN 5GRAV$ 9VIT,N 6T D.E 0 0.W9N+ A
T\RNA;T 2F !N1 & DESPITE MY T9Y "O-/ROKE
L1D1 ? H>DLY SEEM$ L A SURE ?+1 OR EV5
CLOSE 6X4
  ,0T EV5+1 ALL ( ,E>L'S N]V\S;S _H VAN-
I%$1 & "?\T D9N] HE B>ELY SD A ^W4 ,9
FACT1 HE 0 S UN"*I/IC,Y QUIET1 ,I F9,Y
_H 6ASK HM IF HE WASN'T GO+ 6GIVE ME "S
K9D ( 9SPIR,NAL PEP TALK =! NEXT    #AJJ
"D'S R.D4 8,Y "K10 ,I SD1 8"S?+ 9 !
GURU/SPORTS PSY*OLOGI/ VE940
  8,! WAY Y'RE PUTT+ & SW++1 ,BIRDIE
,MAN10 SD ,E>L )A SMILE1 8Y CD W9 ? ?+ 9
YR SLEEP40
  8,OH WELL1 !N ,I'M N TOO WORRI$10 ,I
SD1 8AL? ,I'M 2G9N+ 6GET A LL WORRI$ AB
Y40
  8,I "K :AT Y M1N10 SD ,E>L1 8,I WORRY
AB MYF E "D4 ,T'S :AT KEEPS ME %>P40
  ,DESPITE 2+ A TAD MY/]I\S1 ,E>L'S L[-
KEY 2HAVIOR HELP$ ME RELAX4 ,I _H NO
TR\# FALL+ ASLEEP1 & ONCE ,I DID1 ,I
SLEPT S.DLY4
  ,UNTIL ?REE 9 ! MORN+1 :5 ,I 0 AWAK5$
0! CATACLYSMIC S.D (! SKY 2+ RIPP$ OP5 L
A GROC]Y BAG4 ,I /UM#D \ ( B$ & LOOK$ \
! W9D[4 ,I CDN'T SEE ! T]RACE1 X 0 RA9+
S H>D4 ,& ?REE &A HALF H\RS LAT]1 :5 ,I
GOT UP = GD1 X 0 / -+ D[N 9 %EETS4
  ,I'M SURE AT ? PO9T1 ,B5 ,HOGAN WD H
SC[L$ AT ! POR\S SKY & DEM&$ 9 NO UNC]-
TA9 T]MS T X KNOCK ! %IT (F1 S T HE CD G
\ & W9 8 GOLF T\RNA;T )\T ANY DAMN M$DL+
F ON HI<4 ,& NO D\BT1 ,JACK         #AJA
,NICKLAUS WD H VIEW$ ! PROSPECT ( GETT+
8 F/ PRO W9 9 ANY?+ LESS ?AN REGUL,N Z
EQU,Y REPUGNANT4
  ,B ,I'M N ,B5 ,HOGAN1 & ,I'M N ,JACK
,NICKLAUS4 ,I'M ,TRAVIS ,MC,K9LEY4 ,S IF
ANY ( Y _H BE5 9 ROOM #ABAE AT ! ,NA%-
VILLE ,RAMADA T MORN+1 Y WD H WIT;S$ !
HI<LY UNDIGNIFI$ SI<T (A GR[N MAN 9 8
BA7Y "UWE> FALL+ 6HIS KNEES ON ! MOTEL
BROADLOOM & EMB>RASS+ ,GOD ) HALF A DOZ5
F]V5T PRAY]S SPR9KL$ PI\SLY ) HALLELU-
JAHS & AM5S1 6KEEP T PRECIPIT,N A-COM+
''' 8,O MI<TY CL\DS10 ,I'M A%AM$ 6SAY ,I
SD1 8PL1SE FEEL FREE 6EMPTY ?YSELVES
9DEF9ITELY ^U ^! P>*$ "PS40
  ,FIVE M9UTES LAT]1 MY PRAY]S 7 9T]-
RUPT$ 0,E>L CALL+ 6EXT5D 8 3GRATUL,NS ON
MY .F/ ''' .PRO ''' .W94 ,TWO H\RS LAT]1
,I GOT ! CALL F ! T\RNA;T (FICE4 ,WD ,I
PL1SE -E OV] 6! C\RSE & PICK UP MY TRO-
PHY & MY *ECK = 4#AFE1JJJ4
  ,DON'T Y J LOVE ? C.TRY8
  ,I FIGUR$ ? 0 SU6ICI5T R1SON = WAK+ UP
MY HEIRS 9 ,W9NETKA4
  8,"O HUNDR$ SIXTY-FIVE ?\S&       #AJB
DOLL>S10 SD ,SIMON GRO7ILY4 8,Y "K :AT T
M1NS80
  8,:AT80 ,I ASK$4
  8,Y'RE YUPPIE SCUM40
  8,C'T Y J SEE ME AT ! HELM (A BIG BUR-
GUNDY ,BEEM]80 ,I (F]$4
  8,DON'T MAKE ME PUKE10 SD ,SIMON4
8,3GRATUL,NS1 ?\<40
  ,": DID MY *N ACQUIRE ^! EMBITT]$ P9KO
VALUES1 ,I WOND]$4 ,F ME1 ,I R1LIZ$4
  8,Y'RE N SCUM1 ,DAD10 SD ,NOAH1 8Y'RE
J RI*40
  8,YR DA4Y'S RI* & YR MAMA'S GD-LOOK+10
,I SANG1 BUR/+ 96,G]S:94 8,C ,I TALK TO
H]80
  8,%E _H 6DELIV] A BABY10 SD ,NOAH4 8,Y
"K ,MOM40
  8,& ": IS %E DELIV]+ ! BABY TO80 ,I
ASK$1 SU3ESS HAV+ MADE ME WITTY 5 = YR
AV]AGE F\R-YE>-OLD4
  8,/OP X1 ,DAD10 SD ,NOAH1 :O IS DEFI-
NITELY N AV]AGE4
  8,Y TELL H] = ME1 OKAY80 ,I SD4 8,I'LL
CALL ,ELIZABE?40
  8,OKAY1 ,DAD10 SD ,NOAH4 8,I'LL   #AJC
TELL ,MOM40
  ,AF ,I CALL$ ,ELIZABE?1 ,E>L & ,I
PICK$ UP ! H>DW>E &! S(TW>E & H1D$ DI-
RECTLY 6,NA%VILLE'S MO/ EXP5SIVE N\VELLE
RE/AURANT1 ": WE 2HAV$ L ANY O!R PAIR (
RI* MI4LE-AG$ FRS A4L$ 0GD =TUNE4 ,WE
ATE TOO M*4 ,WE DRANK TOO M*1 & TALK$ &
LAU<$ M* TOO L\D4 ,X 0 WOND];L4
  ,DESPITE MY W9DFALL1 X TURNS \ ,I
WASN'T NE>LY Z W1L?Y Z ,E>L1 :O REV1L$ =
! F/ "T T ON A GD "D 8 /OCK PORTFOLIO 0
WOR? 2T "O & "O &A HALF MILLION DOLL>S4
,I / WROTE HM A *ECK = 4#CC1JJJ4
  ,MAYBE X 0 ! W9E OR ! GD -PANY OR BO?1
B AF A :ILE ,I />T$ 6GET EMO;NAL4 8,F N[
ON1 ,E>L10 ,I SD1 89/1D ( CALL+ ME
,TRAVIS1 ,I ?9K X WD 2 BE/ IF Y CD J RE-
F] 6ME Z ! CURR5T *AMPION (! ,BELL,S\?
,CLASSIC40
  8,X WD 2 MY GRT HONOR10 SD ,E>L1 :O 0
CLE>LY Z MOV$ Z ,I WAS4 8,B T'S Q A M\?-
;L1 DON'T Y ?9K8 ,"PICUL>LY :5 Y ADD !
A/]ISK ON A3.T ( X 2+ A RA9-W940
  8,:Y DON'T Y J KISS MY A/]ISK10 ,I SD4
  8,"H'S 6! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP510    #AJD
SD ,E>L1 LIFT+ 8 *AMPAGNE4
  8,6,PEB# ,B1*10 ,I SD1 MEET+ 8 GLASS4
8,I'M GO+ 6BR+ T C\RSE 6XS KNEES60
  8,OH1 ,JESUS10 GROAN$ ,E>L4 8,MAY WE N
LIVE 6EAT ^? ^WS60
  ,IF A BANK _H BE5 OP5 T LATE1 WE WD H
LAU<$ ALL ! WAY 6X4
  ,I TRI$ 6CALL ,S>AH :5 ,I GOT 6! HO-
TEL1 B %E / WASN'T BACK F ! HOSPITAL1 :
LEFT ME FEEL+ S]I\SLY UNREQUIT$4 ,6*E]
MYF UP1 ,I W5T D[N 6! FRONT DESK1 MADE A
COPY ( MY 4#AFE1JJJ *ECK1 /U6$ X 9 AN
5VELOPE1 & _H X ,F$]AL ,EXPRESS$ 6MY OLD
PAL ,MIKE ,KIDD 9 ,*ICAGO4 ,OH1 & ,I A4$
AN 9CR$IBLY CAT*Y LL SLOGAN3
  8,KISS MY ASS40








               ,*APT] #BD           #AJE

  8,IN ALL MY YE>S10 PROCLAIM$ ,E>L1 AP-
ROPOS ( NO?+1 ALM Z IF HE 7 TALK+ 6HMF
OR _H SU45LY DECID$ 69ITIATE A 3V]S,N )!
SETT+ SUN1 8,I H N"E OBS]V$ ANY?+ Q S
SORRY1 S MIS]A#1 & D[N"R PA!TIC Z A HU-
MAN 2+ 9 LOVE40
  ,AF ,NA%VILLE1 ! T\R _H H1D$ 6,PHOENIX
=A WEEK1 & ON \R F/ EV5+ 9 ,>IZONA1 ,I 0
SITT+ 2S ,E>L ON ! T]RACE (! ,HILTON1
WOND]+ :AT ,S>AH 0 DO+ AT T MO;T & ":1
IF ANY":1 ,I /OOD 9 H] A6EC;NS4
  8,IS T A FACT80 ,I ASK$ MY _SUAL &
PHYSICAL ADVIS]4
  8,LET'S TAKE Y1 = EXAMPLE10 HE SD4
  8,ALL "R10 ,I OBLIG$4 8,SEE+ Z ,I'M N
TOO BUSY AT ! MO;T40
  8,:AT D Y SEE "R N[80 ,E>L ASK$4
  8,! SUN GO+ D[N1 &! FLOOR (! DES]T
LOOK+ Z IF X'S ON FIRE10 ,I ANSW]$4
  8,WD Y SAY X'S A PRETTY VIEW1 ,TRAV-
IS80
  8,BR1?TAK+1 ,E>L40
  8,& H[ 'B\T ! W1!R8 ,H[ WD Y DESCRIBE
T80                                 #AJF
  8,PRETTY DAMN PL1SANT10 ,I REPLI$4
  8,PL1SANT MY ASS10 SD ,E>L4 8,X'S P]-
FECT4 ,*RI/1 X'S S P]FECT1 ,I C'T EV5
FEEL ! AIR ON MY SK94 ,& :AT'S T 9 YR
H&80
  8,AN ICE-COLD ,BUDWEIS]4 ,C ,I GET Y
"O80
  8,I'M F9E1 B ?ANKS4 ,H[ 'B\T YR BANK
A3.T8 ,H['S T DO+80
  8,I DON'T M1N 6BE CRASS1 ,E>L1 B X'S
SIX DIGITS H1L?I] ?AN X 0 ?REE "DS AGO40
  8,?ANK ,GOD = RA910 SD ,E>L4
  8,CROPS GOT 6GR[10 ,I AGRE$4
  8,& :AT IS X EXACTLY T Y D =A LIV+80
  8,E>L1 ,I PLAY GOLF40
  8,LET ME GET ? /RAI<T4 ,Y GET PD--H&-
"SLY APP>5TLY--6PLAY GOLF ON ! MO/ B1U-
TI;L C\RSES 9 ! C.TRY40
  8,X'S ! DAMN$E/ ?+1 ISN'T X80
  8,S "H Y >E NURS+ A COLD "O1 TAK+ 9 "O
(! M SPECTACUL> VI/AS ON ! PLANET1 "O
HUNDR$ ?IRTY-FIVE GEES A3RU+ 9T]E/ DAI-
LY1 FOLL[+ AN IMPROVE;T 9 YR CIRCUM/.ES
S EXTREME "S MI<T SUSPECT ,GOD IS PLAY+
FAVORITES1 & ..H[ D Y .FEEL80       #AJG
  8,MIS]A#10 ,I SD4
  8,I RE/ MY "MFUCK+ CASE4 ,& YES1 ,I W
TAKE T BE] N[40





















               ,*APT] #BE           #AJH

  ,F\R WEEKS 6! "D AF MY T]RACE *AT )!
DUKE ( ,E>L1 ,I /EPP$ UP 6! F/ TEE AT !
,N,NWIDE ,*AMPION%IP 9 ,ALF>ETTA1 ,GEOR-
GIA4 ,I 0 A *ANG$ MAN4
  ,H[ CD X 2 O!RWISE8 ,9 A MATT] (
MON?S1 ,I _H %$ MY OLD LIFE Z AN ADV]-
TIS+ COPYWRIT] & BE5 RE9C>NAT$ Z A PRO
A?LETE4 ,F/1 ,I MADE ! ,S5IOR ,T\R4 ,!N
,I WON ON X4 ,I E>N$ M M"OY 9 TWO "DS
?AN ,I _H 9 TWO YE>S4 ,9 ! PROCESS1 ,I
_H ALL B ASSUR$ MYF A SECOND YE> ON T\R1
E>N$ AN 9VIT,N 6! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP51 &
GIV5 MYF A *.E 6VIE N J = DOLL>S B =A
SMALL PIECE ( HI/ORY4
  ,LET ME TELL Y ! E6ECT ( ALL ? F9E =-
TUNE ON MY GAME & H1D4
  ,I CDN'T DRIVE4 ,I CDN'T PUTT4 ,I
CDN'T HIT MY IRONS4 ,& ,I CDN'T *IP4 ,IF
,I LEFT ANY?+ \1 ,I CDN'T D T1 EI4
  ,9 A MON?1 ,I W5T F 3SI/5TLY BR1K+ #GJ
6RELIGI\SLY TOPP+ #HJ4 ,MY PREVI\S ?REE
F9I%ES 7 LA/1 LA/1 & LA/--.DETECT .A
.PATT]N8--& MY SCORES AT ! ,CADILLAC
,,NFL ,CLASSIC--#HC1 #HF1 #HI--     #AJI
MAY L;G LIVE 9 9FAMY Z ! HI<E/ ?REE-R.D
TOTAL 9 ! F\RTE5-YE> HI/ORY (! ,S5IOR
,T\R4 ,AF MY W9 9 ,NA%VILLE1 ,I DIDN'T
SU6] A LETD[N OR A SLUMP1 ,I W5T 96FREE
FALL4
  ,MY /ATE ( M9D 0 AB ! SAME--A ,MOLOTOV
COCKTAIL ( DEPRES.N & ANXIETY4 ,IF !
YIPS IS ! N]V\S A6LIC;N T "UM9ES ! PUTT+
/ROKE1 !N ,I 0 SU6]+ F A M* M LE?AL &
P]VASIVE 3DI;N T SABOTAGES E M5TAL &
BODILY FUNC;N4 ,I />T$ %AV+ ) AN ELEC-
TRIC RAZOR = FE> ,I WD A3ID5T,Y D MYF
S]I\S H>M4
  ,ALL ! MO/ NOT$ SW+ DOCTORS PD H\SE
CALLS4 ,DAVID ,L1DBETT]1 A3LAIM$ = 8 "W
) ,NICK ,FALDO & ,NICK ,PRICE1 PRESCRIB$
A -PLETE OV]HAUL 0: ,I WD -E 6MAKE MY
TORSO & N MY LEGS ! 85G9E0 ( MY SW+4
,BUT* ,H>MON SQU9T$ AT ME ON ! RANGE4
,JIM ,MC,L1N ANALYZ$ E MILLIMET] ( MY
SW+ ON VIDEOTAPE4 ,&! ,IRI% MY/IC ,MAC
,O',GRADY GAVE ME A TWO-SYLLA# MANTRA
6REP1T AT ! TOP ( MY BACKSW+4 ,I'D TELL
Y :AT X IS1 B ,I PD TWO ?\S& DOLL>S = X4
  ,E "D ,I 2GAN 6FEEL M & M L !     #AAJ
LABEL ,I _H BE5 GIV5 9 T >TICLE ,TREV9O
_H REF]R$ TO--8! ,MIRACLE ( ;,Q-,S*OOL40
,A %AM4 ,? YE>'S IMPO/OR4 ,A "PY CRA%]4
,I ?"\ ,I MI<T 2COME ! F/ PROFES.NAL
GOLF] 6"E L1VE ! T\R--\ ( EMB>RASS;T4
  ,NO D\BT ,I 0 M5T,Y EXHAU/$ & OV]-
GOLF$4 ,TRY PLAY+ GOLF =TY-FIVE "DS 9 A
R[1 AF PLAY+ TWICE A WEEK = ?IRTY YE>S4
,B M ?AN ANY?+ ELSE1 ,I 0 HOMESICK4 ,I
MISS$ MY FAMILY4 ,I MISS$ ,NOAH & ,SIMON
& ,ELIZABE?4 ,I MISS$ ,POP & MY TICK-
9FE/$ POO*4 ,& ,I MISS$ ,S>AH M ?AN ,I
"E _H 9 MY LIFE1 2C1 0? CRUEL TWI/ (
FATE1 ,I SEEM$ 6H LO/ H] J Z ,I'D F.D
"S?+ 6%>E ) H]4
  ,YET Z M* Z ,I _H WANT$ 6G HOME1 ,I _H
AL BE5 DR1D+ X1 2C ,I FE>$ T ! ONLY ?+
,S>AH _H 6GIVE ME 0 EV5 M 3CLUSIVE BAD
NEWS4
  ,:AT IF AF ?9K+ X OV] QUIETLY & OB-
JECTIVELY =A FEW WEEKS1 %E _H -E 6! 9ES-
CAPA# 3CLU.N T %E 0 BETT] (F )\T ME8 ,IF
T 0 H] DECI.N1 ,I WASN'T SURE ,I WD "E
RECOV] F X4 ,ON ! O!R H&1 MY FE>S 7 S
BAD1 R1L;Y CDN'T 2 ANY WORSE4       #AAA
  ,X 0 "T 6TALK 6,S>AH1 NO MATT] :AT %E
_H 6SAY4 ,X 0 M ?AN "T 6HUG MY KIDS4 ,X
0 "T 6G HOME1 EV5 IF 9 "S WAY X TURN$ \
6BE =! LA/ "T4




















               ,*APT] #BF           #AAB

  ,ON ,MON"D MORN+1 Z ,I DROVE MY R5TAL
C> \ (! AIRPORT1 F ,O',H>E 6,W9NETKA1 "!
0 NO GI4Y S5SE ( EXCITE;T & ANTICIP,N4
  ,"! 0 NO ,S9ATRA 9 ! TAPE PLAY] S++
8,-E ,FLY ) ,ME40 ,"! 0 ONLY SIL;E &
DR1D4
  ,"S"T T EV5+ ,I 0 GO+ 6H :AT MI<T 5D
UP 2+ MY LA/ G5U9E 3V]S,N ) ,S>AH1 & T
POSSIBIL;Y 0 TOO AW;L 63SID]1 LET AL"O
A3EPT4
  ,Z ,I PULL$ ONTO MY /REET1 ,OLD ,NOR?
,W9NETKA ,ROAD1 ,I FELT L A FIFTY-YE>-
OLD ,ADAM1 SADLY LOOK+ OV] 8 OLD NEI<-
BORHOOD "O LA/ "T4 ,E FAMILI> DETAIL1 F
! CIRCUL> DRIVEWAY ON ! ,LAMPKE H\SE 6!
SPE$ BUMP 9 FRONT (! ,CRASSWELL]S'1 FELT
L "S?+ ,I 0 AB 6LOSE4
  ,:5 ,I CALL$ ,SATUR"D NI<T & TOLD ,S>-
AH ,I 0 -+ HOME =A VISIT1 %E 0 H>DLY EN-
?USIA/IC4 ,%E _H 6"W ,MON"D1 %E SD1 &
WDN'T 2 BACK TILL LATE--B ,ELIZABE?1 :O
0 VISIT+ =! WEEK5D1 IMMLY DECID$ 6/AY A
C\PLE ( EXTRA "DS4 ,& ,SIMON & ,NOAH
ANN\NC$ T !Y'D GLADLY SKIP _!       #AAC
SO3] PRACTICE & "D CAMP4
  ,N"E!.S1 ON MY FLI<T & DRIVE HOME1 ,I
?"\ MA9LY ( ,S>AH4 ,I C'T EXPLA9 :Y1 UN-
.S X 0 2C ,I _H -E 6FEEL Z UNDES]V+ (!
KIDS Z ( ,S>AH1 B ,I DIDN'T 2LIEVE T MY
*N 7 GO+ 6MISS ME T M*4 ,L A LOT ( "FS1
,I _H 2GUN 6SEE MYF Z ! FAMILY'S "O W1K
& 4P5SA# L9K4 ,I HALF-EXPECT$ 6WALK 9 MY
DOOR & F9D E TRACE ( ME REMOV$ F !
%ELVES4
  ,9/1D ,I F.D ,SIMON1 ,NOAH1 & ,ELIZA-
BE? WAIT+ 9 ! FRONT Y>D1 HOLD+ A %EET )
PA9T$ LRS R1D+ 8,HOME ( ,TRAVIS ,MC,K9-
LEY1 ,BELL,S\? ,CLASSIC ,*AMPION6660
  ,MAN1 :AT A COOL SI<T T WAS4 ,& :5 ,I
/EPP$ \ (! C>1 ,NOAH JUMP$ 96MY >MS &
WRAPP$ HMF S TI<TLY >.D MY NECK1 ,I CD
B>ELY BR1!4 ,EV5 ,SIMON & ,ELIZABE? HU7$
ME 9 A WAY !Y N"E _H 2F4
  ,B X WASN'T J ! PHYSICAL WAVE ( A6EC-
;N4 ,X 0 ! WAY !Y LOOK$ AT ME4 ,!Y 7
TRY+ 6MAKE "S?+ S GODDAMN CLE> T EV5 A
FOOL L MYF CDN'T MISR1D X1 OR TURN X IN-
SIDE \4 ..,!Y LOV$ ME4 ,!Y MISS$ ME4 ,!Y
7 PR\D ( .ME4                       #AAD
  ,I 0 PR\D ( :AT ,I _H A3OMPLI%$1 TOO1
B LATELY ,I'D BE5 S DESP]ATE AB ,S>AH1 X
_H LO/ A LOT ( XS M1N+4 ,B 6!M1 ? :OLE
?+ _H BE5 A PURE KICK & M4 8,DAD1 ,I ALW
TOLD MY FRS Y 7 ? /UD A?LETE10 SD ,SI-
MON1 8B NO "O 2LIEV$ ME4 ,N[ X'S N UP TO
!M :E!R !Y WANT 6BUY X OR N40
  ,EV5 ,ELIZABE? 0 GU%+4 8,I SWE> TO
,GOD10 %E SD1 8Y'RE ! H]O (! 5TIRE FAC-
ULTY (! ,YALE ,M$ICAL ,S*OOL4 ,Y'D ?9K
Y'D WON ! ,NOBEL ,PRIZE = M$IC9E ! WAY !
H1D (! DE"P;T TR1TS ME N[4 ,9 FACT1 T WD
2 A BIG /EP D[N 9 8 EYES4 ,MAYBE X'S 2C
!Y ALL PLAY GOLF1 & !Y SUCK1 B ALL !Y D
IS ASK AB Y40
  8,Y'RE COOL1 ,DAD10 SD ,NOAH 96MY
NECK4 ,HE _H / B>ELY LOOS5$ 8 GRIP1 & 9
TWO "DS WD LET ME PUT HM D[N =A TOTAL (
T5 M9UTES4
  ,T "D 0 "O (! BE/ ( MY LIFE4 ,X MADE
ME R1LIZE T NO MATT] :AT HAPP5$1 ,I
WASN'T GO+ 6LOSE !M4 ,X 0 AL A REVEL,N4
,I'D N"E "U/OOD H[ DESP]ATELY KIDS WANT
6FEEL PR\D ( _! "F4 ,X MADE ME ?9K MY LL
RUN CD H A BI7] IMPACT ON !M ?AN    #AAE
ME1 0LETT+ !M "K X'S ALL "R 6D :AT !Y
WANT4 ,!Y DON'T H 6RESIGN !MVS 6"S S\L-
DE/ROY+ N9E-TO-FIVE !Y HATE4 ,"! >E POS-
SIBILITIES4 ,I "K !Y'VE LE>N$ "S ( ? F
,S>AH ALR1 B !Y _H 6SEE X F ME1 TOO4
,X'S H>D 6EXPLA94
  ,I DON'T "K H[ AW>E !Y 7 (! TR\#S 2T
,S>AH & ME4 ,ELIZABE? & ,SIMON M/ H "KN
AB !M4 ,MAYBE !Y ALL DID1 2C ! PU% = U
6D "S K9D ( FAMILY ACTIV;Y CAME Z M* F
!M Z ME4
  ,T'S H[ WE 5D$ UP GO+ SWIMM+ AT !
GORGE1 "O ( ^? P]FECT ANONYM\S LL SWIMM+
HOLES AT ! 5D (A C.TRY ROAD ON ! V \T-
SKIRTS ( T[N1 ": ,I'D TAK5 ,ELIZABE? &
,SIMON AT L1/ ONCE E SUMM]1 & : _H AS-
SUM$ A MY?OLOGICAL /ATUS 9 ! BIG B"R
DOME ( ,NOAH'S4
  ,WE GOT 6! GORGE AT ?REE ON A P]FECT
,JULY AFN1 &= AB TWO H\RS WE _H X COM-
PLETELY 6\RVS4
  ,! WAT] 0 *ILLY & QK1 B ! SUN ON \R
BACKS1 Z WE SAT ON ! HALF-SUBM]G$ B\LD]S
/REWN ACR ! ?IRTY-FOOT-WIDE /R1M1 0 /R;G
5 6KEEP U F GETT+ TOO COLD4         #AAF
  ,SIMON1 WE>+ 8 2LOV$ ,OAKLEY %ADES &!
LI<T B\NC+ (F 8 E>R+S1 CR\*$ ON A /"O !
F>!/ \4
  ,A C\PLE Y>DS AWAY P]*$ ,ELIZABE?1 L
"S BRA9Y ,IVY ,L1GUE M]MAID1 H] B1UTI;L
BR[N HAIR PULL$ /RAI<T D[N H] N>R[ BACK4
  ,NOAH SAT ON MY LAP 9 8 LIFE PRES]V]1
ON A WIDE /"O T5 FEET F ! %ORE4 ,= "O
MEMORA# /RET*1 WE J SMIL$ AT "O ANO!R1 &
NO "O SD A ^W1 ! ONLY S.D WAT] RU%+ OV]
FLAT /"OS4













               ,*APT] #BG           #AAG

  8,S H['S T BABY DO+80 ,I ASK$ ,S>AH4
,%E _H J >RIV$ HOME F ! HOSPITAL4 ,I 0
WAIT+ N]V\SLY 9 ! KIT*54
  8,: "O80 ASK$ ,S>AH1 ONLY MEET+ MY
GAZE =A SECOND4 ,%E DROPP$ H] ?+S ON A
*AIR & P\R$ H]F A GLASS F ! HALF-EMPTY
BOTTLE ( :ITE W9E 9 ! REFRIG]ATOR4
  8,! F/ BABY BORN 9 ,W9NETKA ? YE>10 ,I
SD1 8! ,NEW ,YE>'S BABY40
  8,OH1 %E'S DO+ F9E10 SD ,S>AH4 8,%E'S
GOT ? T9Y PI]C$ NOSE4 ,%E'S ,9DIAN40
  ,NOAH _H F9,Y PASS$ \ AT #AJ3JJ
,P4,M41 ,ELIZABE? & ,SIMON AT AB #AB3CJ1
B ,S>AH DIDN'T >RIVE HOME UNTIL ALM TWO
9 ! MORN+4 ,AL? X 0 POSSI# "S HOSPITAL
EM]G5CY _H KEPT H] T LATE1 X SEEM$ M
LIKELY T %E _H /AY$ AT "W S L;G 2C %E 0
DR1D+ ? 3V]S,N Z M* Z ,I WAS4
  ,AT "S PO9T CLOSE 6A YE> AGO1 ,S>AH _H
MO/LY /OPP$ TALK+ 6ME4 ,9 ! 2G9N+ %E IN-
SI/$ T NO?+ 0 ! MATT]1 !N EV5TU,Y 3C$$
"! WAS4 ,& N[ 9 ! PA/ C\PLE ( MON?S1 %E
0 TALK+ AB ! POSSIBIL;Y (A DIVORCE4 ,ALL
)\T RE,Y TELL+ ME :Y4               #AAH
  ,EV5TU,Y1 ,I _H NO *OICE B 63CLUDE T !
R1SON ,S>AH _H NO 9T]E/ 9 TALK+ 0 T1 9
H] M9D1 X 0 ALR OV]4
  8,:Y DOES ? H 6HAPP51 ,S>AH80 ,I ASK$
H] N[4
  8,I DON'T "K1 ,TRAVIS4 ,I'VE ASK$ MYF
! SAME "Q40
  8,WELL1 :5 DID X HAPP580
  8,TRAVIS '''0 ,%E 2GAN 6SAY "S?+1 !N
LOOK$ D[N AT ! C.T] & />T$ 6CRY4
  8,I'VE *ANG$10 ,I SD4 8,I CDN'T *ANGE
2F1 "W+ AT ,BURNETT4 ,I DIDN'T EV5 "U/&
:Y4 ,ALL ,I KNEW 0 T X FELT ALL WR;G40
  8,OH -E ON1 ,TRAVIS40
  8,S>AH1 ,I "K ,I'VE BE5 A DRAG =A
:ILE4 ,I "K ,I LET Y D[N "S"TS40
  8,AF WE _H ,NOAH1 & EV5 T DIDN'T *E] Y
UP1 ,I FIGUR$ WE N"E M1NT T M* 6Y ALL
AL;G40
  8,S>AH1 UNTIL T NI<T ,I GOT "? ,QUALI-
FY+ ,S*OOL1 ,I DIDN'T "K MYF H[ UNHAPPY
,I WAS4 ,B X'S N 2C ,I DIDN'T LOVE Y &!
KIDS4 ,I'M SURE ,I SEEM$ L ? UNGRATE;L
WRET*1 B UN=TUNATELY HAV+ A GRT WIFE &
WOND];L *N DOESN'T MAKE Y LOVE      #AAI
YRF ANY M4 ,X J MAKES Y LOVE !M40
  8,X'S TOO LATE10 %E SD4 8,I'M RE,Y
SORRY4 ,ANYWAY1 ,I'M N SURE ,I WD "K :AT
6D ) ? NEW ,TRAVIS4 ,MAYBE ,I'M SETT+ Y
FREE40
  8,S>AH1 ,I DON'T WANT 6BE FREE4 ,I
WANT A BALL & *A91 &A PICK-PRO( LOCK40
  8,Y'VE ALW _H S* A ROMANTIC NO;N ( M>-
RIAGE1 ,TRAVIS10 SD ,S>AH1 HALF SMIL+ "?
H] TE>S4
  8,S>AH1 Y'RE X = ME10 ,I PL1D$4 8,Y
ALW H BE54 ,I DON'T "K :AT ,I'LL D IF ,I
C'T WAT* Y GET OLD & WR9KL$40
  8,I'M ALR OLD & WR9KL$40
  8,L HELL Y >E10 ,I SD4 8,I WANT 6BE A#
6LOOK OV] AT Y & REM9D Y H[ B1UTI;L Y
>E1 "K+ ,I'VE BE5 "? ! :OLE ?+ ) Y40
  8,Y DON'T ALW GET :AT Y WANT1 ,TRAV-
IS40
  8,C'T WE TRY "S?+1 ,S>AH80
  8,X'S J TOO LATE1 ,TRAVIS10 %E SD4 8,I
WI% X WASN'T4 ,I RE,Y D40
  ,& !N ,S>AH W5T UP 6B$ AL"O4

               ,*APT] #BH           #ABJ

  ,LAT] T MORN+1 MY N9ETY-?REE-YE>-OLD
GR&"F--HE _H CELEBRAT$ 8 BIR?"D TWO
WEEKS 2F 0%OOT+ A TIDY #IH--/OOD 9 !
MI4LE (! #AB? FAIRWAY (! ,CREEKVIEW
,C.TRY ,CLUB & DROPP$ ?REE ,TITLEI/S ON-
TO ! RI*1 GRE5 SOD4
  ,"! MAY 2 NO?+ M* WORSE ?AN A ,*ICAGO
W9T]1 B "!'S NO?+ M* BETT] ?AN A ,*ICAGO
,JULY1 & T MORN+ 0 A F9E EXAMPLE (! SPE-
CIES1 )! TEMP]ATURE 9 ! L[ EI<TIES & J 5
BREEZE 6KEEP ! AIR ON XS TOES4
  ,S M* _H *ANG$ S9CE ,I'D BE5 "H 2F1 &
P]H 6REM9D ME ( T FACT1 ,POP _H WALK$ ME
\ 6! V SAME SPOT WE _H VISIT$ ON \R LA/
PLAY+ LESSON4 ,! FAIRWAY T _H BE5 H>D &
MU4Y BACK !N 0 N[ COV]$ ) ?ICK1 LUSCI\S
GRASS4 ,! HUGE OAK "S =TY Y>DS AWAY1 :
_H S]V$ Z A L1F.S OB/ACLE1 0 N[ FULL &
GRE5 & %IMM]+4
  8,POP10 ,I SD1 8,S>AH WANTS A DI-
VORCE40
  8,WELL1 ,TRAVIS1 :AT D Y WANT80 HE
ASK$1 Z IF ,I / _H A *OICE 9 ! MATT]4
  8,I WANT U 6/AY TGR40             #ABA
  8,Y TELL H] T80
  8,YUP40
  8,Y'VE D"O AB ALL Y C1 !N4 ,H[ LOVE
GETS DOL$ \ IS "O (! GRT MY/]IES (!
PLANET1 B "O ?+ ,I'VE LE>N$ IS T Y C'T
=CE "S"O 6LOVE Y4 ,X'S A LL BIT L *AS+
BIRDIES4 ,WANT+ !M TOO M* ONLY MAKES X
WORSE40
  8,POP1 ,I'M FEEL+ L A FRAUD \ "! ON !
T\R10 ,I 3FESS$4
  8,TRAVIS1 ": DOES ? -E F1 ? PICK+ AT
"EY?+ UNTIL Y F9D ! T9 "U ! GOLD8 ,"!'S
NO?+ FAKE AB Y1 ,TRAVIS4 ,IF ANY?+1 Y'RE
TOO GODDAMN R1L = YR [N GD40
  8,S :AT D Y WANT ME 6HIT1 ,POP80 ,I
F9,Y ASK$1 LOOK+ D[N AT ! ?REE BALLS
HE'D DROPP$4
  8,I DON'T WANT Y 6HIT ANY?+1 ,TRAVIS10
HE SD1 8 EYES SP>KL+ )A LI<T T REMA9S
UTT]LY IMP]VI\S 6HIS YE>S4 8,Z F> Z ,I'M
3C]N$1 Y'VE GOT NO?+ LEFT 6PROVE 6ME OR
,S>AH OR YR "F OR ANYBODY FUCK+ ELSE4
,ALL ,I WANT Y 6D IS PICK UP ^? BALLS1 &
PLAY ) !M AT ! ,OP5 NEXT WEEK1 & ,I WANT
Y 65JOY YRF = ,*RI/'S SAKE1 2C      #ABB
,I'LL TELL Y "O ?+1 ,I'M GO+ 65JOY WAT*+
Y4 ,& 0! WAY1 ,TRAVIS1 "! ISN'T A GOD-
DAMN ?+ WR;G ) YR SW+40
  8,POP1 Y HAV5'T EV5 SE5 ME HIT A
BALL40
  8,I DON'T H TO40 ,&) T1 ,POP TURN$ &
H1D$ 6! CLUBH\SE4 8,! LESSON'S OV]1
,TRAVIS10 HE SD4 8,LET'S G H A DR9K40
















               ,*APT] #BI           #ABC

  ,?REE H\RS LAT]1 ,I 0 /&+ AT ! CORN] (
,-MONW1L? & ,BAXT] 9 ,*ICAGO1 MY H&S
TREMBL+ L AN OLD RUMMY1 &A RIDICUL\S
SMILE PLA/]$ ACR MY FACE4
  ,AL? ! EVID;E 0 OV]:ELM+1 ,I CD / B>E-
LY 2LIEVE :AT ,I _H J D"O4
  ,Z ALW1 MY VISIT ) ,POP _H GRTLY IM-
PROV$ MY FRAME ( M9D1 B Z H>D Z HE'D
TRI$1 HE _H N -E CLOSE 6/E]+ MY M9D AWAY
F ,S>AH4 ,& ON MY WAY BACK 6,O',H>E TO
CAT* A FLI<T 6,SAN ,FRANCISCO =! ,U4,S4
,S5IOR ,OP51 ,I MADE A SLI<T DET\R1 &
DID "S?+ T "U ! CIRCUM/.ES MI<T R1SONA-
BLY 2 9T]PRET$ Z LEG,Y 9SANE4
  ,& YET = "S R1SON1 Z ,I /OOD ON !
SIDEWALK 9 ! LOVELY AFN SUN%9E1 ELEGANT
%OPP]S TROTT+ BRISKLY PA/ ME 9 _! DE-
SIGN] DRESSES & SUITS1 ,I _H NO DESIRE
6UNDO X4 ,9 FACT1 :AT ,I _H D"O 0 S OV]-
!-TOP T X GAVE ME A K9D ( P1CE ( M9D T
-ES F "K+ Y'VE D"O AB ALL Y C4 ,AF ALL1
Z BO? ,POP & ,S>AH _H PO9T$ \1 8N "EY?+
IS UP 6ME40
  ,S :AT EXACTLY _H ,I G"O & D"O    #ABD
T LEFT ME FEEL+ S \ ( MY ELE;T ON T ,*I-
CAGO /REET CORN] T ,I MI<T Z WELL H BE5
NAK$8
  ,I'D L 6TELL Y4 ,I TRULY WD4 ,B ,I J
C'T4
  ,X'S TOO EMB>RASS+4


















                 ,"P #C             #ABE
           ,MIRACLE ON ! #AG?

               ,*APT] #CJ

  ,! FULL1 O!R_WLY1 MUSIC-(-!-SPH]ES
SIGNIFIC.E ( 2+ AT ,PEB# ,B1* & PLAY+ 9
! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP5 DIDN'T S9K 9 UNTIL
MO;TS 2F ! F/ R.D ON ,?URS"D4
  ,T 0 :5 ,E>L SLID UP 2H ME ON ! "M (
ALL PRACTICE GRE5S1 SLAPP$ ME ON ! %\L-
D]1 & SD1 8,TRAVIS1 LET'S G 6"W40
  ,TILL !N1 ,I _H BE5 4TRACT$LY LA7+
=TY-FOOT]S ACR ! HUGE LI<TN+-FA/ EL-
LIPSE1 Z MESM]IZ$ Z ANY T\RI/ 0! RU7$
COA/AL GR&EUR (! PLACE1 &! BRILLIANT
GODLIKE ,NOR!RN ,CALI=NIA LI<T T GAVE E
SURFACE A METALLIC %E54
  ,N[1 Z WE "W$ \R WAY "? ! CR[D1 MY
LEGS =GOT H[ 6WALK1 & Z ,I FRANTIC,Y
TRI$ 6REMA/] ! BASIC "R-FOOT1 LEFT-FOOT
3CEPT1 ,I ?"\ ( ,JAMES ,CAGNEY 2+ L$ ON
T L;G LA/ WALK F ! ,BIG ,H\SE 6! GAS
*AMB] 9 ..,ANGELS ) ,DIRTY .,FACES4
  ,I'D ONLY BE5 M N]V\S ON A GOLF C\RSE
ONCE4 ,T 0 ! AFN1 =TY-TWO SUMM]S    #ABF
2F1 :5 AF ?REE YE>S ( B1T+ BALLS1 MY
GR&"F F9,Y DECID$ ,I CD PLAY AN ACTUAL
R.D1 & TOOK ME 6,HU2>D ,HEI<TS1 ! M
?R1DB>E ( ,W9NETKA'S TWO PUBLIC C\RSES4
  ,AT ! ,HEI<TS1 ! F/ TEE IS SET UP
AL;GSIDE A L>GE ,ITALIAN RE/AURANT-B> T
! BLUE-COLL> REGUL>S H TURN$ 96_! [N
C.TRY CLUB1 Z EXCLUSIVE 9 XS [N WAY Z
,AUGU/A ,N,NAL1 & T AFN ! L>GE 3CRETE
T]RACE 0 FILL$ )A R[DY CR[D ( PLUMB]S &
C>P5T]S T SU45LY QUIET$ Z ,I /EPP$ UP TO
MY F/ R1L GOLF %OT4 ,I TOOK A %ALL[ BR1?
& P\R$ MY CUT-D[N DRIV] /RAI<T Z A DIE
#ADJ Y>DS UP ! ROCKY FAIRWAY1 ELICIT+
APPRECIATIVE HOOTS & :I/LES F ! P1NUT
GALL]Y1 &A W>M 8,I GUESS Y'RE R1DY0 F MY
GR&"F4
  ,I GUESS ,I CD H US$ ,POP'S SOO?+ IN-
FLU;E ONCE AG1 2C ON MY F/ (FICIAL DRIVE
AT ,PEB# ,B1*1 ALL ,I CD MU/] 0 A W1K
PU% T LEFT ME 9 ! F/ CUT ( R\<1 #AHE
Y>DS F ! GRE54 ,B ,I 0 J Z ?RILL$ ) X Z
) T F/ DRIVE AT ,HU2>D ,HEI<TS4
  ,MY PLAY+ "PN]S ! F/ TWO "DS 7 ,JIM
,COLB]T & ,S\? ,AFRICAN] ,SIMON     #ABG
,HOB"D4 ,COLB]T1 :O HAS N"E BE5 \ (! TOP
FIVE ON ! ,S5IOR ,T\R M"OY LI/1 IS A
GRANITE-JAW$1 FLAT-TOPP$1 EX-FOOTBALL
PLAY]1 ^: ON-C\RSE DEM1NOR FALLS "S": 2T
*ILLY & D[N"R GRUMPY4 ,HOB"D1 :O WE>S A
HUGE BLACK ,CROCODILE ,DUNDEE HAT &A
,YOSEMITE ,SAM MU/A*E1 IS W>M & \TGO+4
,B !Y BO? PLAY ,BIG ,GUY MA*O GOLF4
  8,LOOK AT ^? TWO CRACK]S /RUTT+ UP !
FAIRWAY10 SD ,E>L1 8!Y ?9K _! BALLS >E
MADE \ ( BRASS40 ,I "K X'S N ! FAULT (
,COLB]T & ,HOB"D T !Y HAPP5 6H BE5 BR"\
96? _W BIG1 BEEFY1 & B\NCY1 B Z "S"O :O
AT SIX TWO HAS N"E WEI<$ 9 AT M ?AN #AEA
P.DS1 ,I'VE ALW -PET$ MY H>DE/ AG/ WIDE-
BODIES4 ,Z ,E>L SU7E/$1 ,I W5T 6"W4
  ,! ,OP5 IS "O ( ONLY F\R ,S5IOR EV5TS
T H A HALFWAY CUT1 S ! PRESSURE IS ON F
! F/ HOLE4 ,AT ! />T (! WEEK1 MY ONLY
GOAL 0 6PLAY ALL F\R "DS4 8,P>S W D J
F9E10 ,E>L KEPT REM9D+ ME1 & AL? ,I 0
ALL OV] ! PLACE ) MY DRIV] & IRONS1 ,I J
KEPT GR9D+ AWAY4
  ,ALL ! H\RS ,I'D BE5 PUTT+ 96MY %ORT
GAME 7 />T+ 6PAY (F4 ,I MISS$ T5    #ABH
GRE5S1 B ,I GOT UP & D[N ON EI<T ( !M4
,(FSETT+ ! TWO BOGEYS ) "O BIRDIE GAVE
ME A "O-OV]-P> #GC4 ,T 0 "O BETT] ?AN
,COLB]T1 "O WORSE ?AN ,HOB"D1 & "R AB !
MI4LE (! FIELD4
  ,! BE/ NEWS (! F/ "D 0 MY PUTT+4 ,I 0
SEE+ ! L9E AG1 & X HELP$ ME S9K A H&;L (
NA/Y SIX-FOOT]S 6SAVE P>4
  ,AF ! R.D1 ,I W5T 6! RANGE & TRI$ TO
/RAI<T5 \ A TEE-BALL1 ^: UNGUID$ FLI<TS
_H TAK5 ME 6"S (! L1/ SC5IC "PS ( ,AM]I-
CA'S MO/ SC5IC GOLF C\RSE4
  8,I C'T 2LIEVE P >E ACTU,Y GO+ 6/& &
WAT* ME HIT BALLS10 ,I TOLD ,E>L Z A
L>GE CR[D 2GAN 6=M 2H ME4
  8,DON'T WORRY1 ,HOGAN1 !Y'RE N "H =
Y10 ,E>L QKLY 9=M$ ME4
  ,I LOOK$ OV] ,E>L'S %\LD] & SAW ,H]-
MAN1 ,LEE ,TREV9O'S ENORM\S CA4Y1 SETT+
UP %OP 9 ! SPOT NEXT DOOR1 & !N ,MEX
HMF1 8 HUGE GR9 BUR/+ 8 TANN$1 L1!RY
FACE 96L;G /RAI<T L9ES4
  8,H[ Y HITT+ 'EM ,TRAVIS80 ,TREV9O
ASK$4
  8,N TOO BAD1 ,MR4 ,TREV9O10 ,I    #ABI
SD4
  8,CUT ! CRAP1 ,MC,K9LEY10 SD ,TREV9O )
A CACKLE4 8,IF HE'S S GODDAMN RESPECT-
;L10 ,TREV9O ASK$ ! CR[D1 8:Y'S HE TRY+
6TAKE FOOD \ ( MY KIDS' M\?S80
  ,0N[ ! SUN 0 GO+ D[N &! RANGE 0 FILL+
) W>M1 GOLD5 LI<T4 ,AL? ,I 0 WORRI$ AB
:Y ,I CDN'T HIT ! BALL /RAI<T1 & IF ,I
WD / 2 SEE+ ! L9E TM1 & IF ,I'D "E 2
SEE+ ,S>AH AG ON A REGUL> BASIS1 ,I 0
SU45LY OV]COME )A S5SE ( WELL-2+ ,I
_HN'T FELT S9CE ,I 0 A KID4
  ,6PUT X SIMPLY1 ,I FELT HAPPY4 ,:OLE4
  ,HITT+ BALLS ON MY LEFT 0 ,HIRO%I
,I%I1 A RE,Y F9E ,JAPANESE PLAY] F A LL
FI%+ VILLAGE \TSIDE ,TOKYO1 :O B>ELY
SP1KS A ^W ( ,5GLI%4 ,ON MY "R 0 ! LEG5-
D>Y ,TREV9O1 A =M] DRIV+-RANGE HU/L] :O
HAS WON SEV5 MAJORS & UNTOLD MILLIONS4
  ,B ON T B1UTI;L LATE AFN \R VA/ DI6]-
;ES SEEM$ 2S ! PO9T4 ,WE 7 ALL DO+ EX-
ACTLY :AT WE WANT$ 6D1 EXACTLY ": WE
WANT$ 6D X4 ,WE 7 PROFES.NAL GOLF]S &
IMM5SELY PR\D ( X4
               ,*APT] #CA           #ACJ

  ,! ,S5IOR DAMN ,OP5 AT ,PEB# ,B1*4
  ,FRI"D 0 A SLI<TLY T5S]1 M N]VE-RACK+
V].N ( ,?URS"D4 ,K9D ( L A BICYCLE TIRE
) T5 P.DS M AIR 9 X4 ,I HIT A FEW M
GRE5S1 SUNK A C\PLE M PUTTS1 & %OT A "O-
"U P> #GA4 ,T GOT ME "? 6! WEEK5D1 SIX
/ROKES 2H L1D] ,BOB ,EA/WOOD4 ,I WASN'T
TE>+ X UP1 OR DO+ ANY?+ EV5 REMOTELY MI-
RACUL\S1 B ,I _H SURVIV$ ! CUT4
  ,X 0 ON ,SATUR"D1 ANO!R P]FECT ,CALI-
=NIA MORN+1 T ,I MADE MY MOVE4
  ,! /RANGE HAPP5+S 2GAN ON ! P>-#D #CRD
HOLE1 :5 ,I GOT A LL TOO JACK$ UP ON !
TEE & SNAP-HOOK$ MY DRIVE 96! DEEP1
GN>LY ,U4,S4 ,OP5 R\<4
  ,?REE %AKY %OTS LAT]1 ,I 0 LOOK+ OV] A
CIRCUS SIXTY-FOOT] ) M BR1KS1 DIPS1 &
RISES 2T ME &! HOLE ?AN 2T ME & ,S>AH1 &
Z ,I /OOD OV] ! BALL1 ,I 0 J HOP+ 6"SH[
TWO-PUTT & ESCAPE ) MY M5TAL H1L?4 ,DI-
AL+ 9 AB SIXTE5 FEET ( BR1K1 ,I S5T !
BALL ON XS WAY1 & AF :AT SEEM$ L AB T5
M9UTES ! BALL SLID 96! BACK (! HOLE1 L A
DOG T _H F.D XS WAY HOME4 8,N[      #ACA
T'S :AT ,I CALL A _W-CLASS FIVE10 SD
,E>L4
  ,)! NE> 4A/] 2H ME1 MY R.D TURN$ Z IF
ON A H+E4 ,F T PO9T ON1 ,I FELT S 9CR$I-
BLY S]5E & QUIET 9SIDE1 X 0 Z IF ,I 7
SLEEPWALK+1 OR /&+ \TSIDE MYF ALT4 ,EI T
OR "S"O _H SPIK$ MY ,GATORADE ) ,PROZAC4
  ,I DIDN'T MAKE ANO!R BAD SW+ ALL "D4
,I DIDN'T H ANO!R NEGATIVE ?"\4 ,I 0 9 E
FAIRWAY1 ON E GRE51 & HITT+ MY IRONS S
/IFF ,I 0 LOOK+ OV] MAKA# BIRDIE PUTTS
ON E HOLE4
  ,)A CLE> :ITE L9E ONCE AG %[+ ! WAY1
,I ROLL$ 9 N9E ( !M1 FIVE ON ! FRONT1
F\R ON ! BACK1 = AN EI<T-"U-P> #FD4
  ,JIM ,COLB]T PASS$ ME NE> ! SCOR]S'
TA# & DIDN'T SAY A ^W4
  ,& S T EV5+ Z ,E>L & ,I SAT QUIETLY 9
MY HOTEL ROOM1 ME NURS+ A BE] & TRY+ TO
RER1D A TWO-MON?-OLD AIRL9E MAGAZ9E1 &
,E>L SMOK+ "O ( 8 2LOV$ ,CUBANS & P]US+
! .,WALL .,/REET .,J\RNAL1 ,I 0 ! SOLE
L1D] (! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP54
  ,TI$ = SECOND TWO /ROKES BACK1 7 A
C\PLE ( FELL[S Y MI<T H HE>D (--    #ACB
,RAYMOND ,FLOYD & ,JACK ,NICKLAUS4























               ,*APT] #CB           #ACC

  ,E>L & ,I SP5T ,SATUR"D NI<T TRY+ N TO
FR1K \4 ,WE CDN'T WAT* TELEVI.N 2C ,I 0
ON E *ANNEL1 & X 0 H>D 6D M* ELSE1 2C !
PH"O N"E /OPP$ R++4
  ,F/ X 0 ,,ABC1 ,,CBS1 & ,,NBC4 ,!N
,,CNN1 ,,ESPN1 &! ,GOLF NET"W4 ,I EV5
GOT A CALL F ,RADIO ,FREE ,EUROPE1 B !
"O CALL ,I WANT$1 F ,S>AH &! KIDS1 N"E
CAME1 & E "T ,I CALL$ HOME ALL ,I GOT 0
T COLDBLOOD$ ANSW]+ MA*9E4
  ,Z F> Z MY 9T]VIEWS W5T1 ,I PRETTY M*
TOLD !M ALL ! SAME ?+4 8,I'M N 9SANE
YET10 ,I SD4 8,I "K "!'S NO R1SON 6EX-
PECT ,I C HOLD (F TWO (! BE/ GOLF]S 6"E
PLAY ! GAME ON "O (! H>DE/ GOLF C\RSES 9
! _W 9 ! F9AL R.D (A MAJOR4 ,I J DON'T
WANT 6EMB>RASS MYF 9 FRONT ( FIFTE5 MIL-
LION P40
  ,AF AB SIX ( ^! S.D BITES1 ,E>L CDN'T
TAKE X ANYMORE4 8,I HOPE Y DON'T RE,Y
2LIEVE ALL T MODE/ POLITIC,Y CORRECT
BULL%IT Y'VE BE5 S]V+ UP = MASS 3SUMP-
;N10 HE SD4 8,Y %OT A SIXTY-F\R TD1 & N[
Y'RE GO+ 6ROLL OV]80                #ACD
  ,E>L F9,Y UNPLU7$ ! PH"O & 0 AB 6L1VE
ME 6MY ANXIETY :5 "! 0 A LI<T KNOCK ON !
DOOR4
  8,:O ! HELL IS X N[10 ,E>L SNORT$ TO
HMF1 8,BILL & ,HILL>Y80
  ,ACTU,Y1 X 0 ,LEE ,TREV9O1 LOOK+ ALL
DECK$ \ & K9D ( WEIRD 9 A JACKET & TIE1
APP>5TLY J HAV+ GOT BACK F "S CORPORATE
FUNC;N4
  8,MR4 ,MC,K9LEY1 ,I DON'T "K IF Y RE-
MEMB] ME10 SD ,TREV9O1 8B ,I 0 PRACTIC+
NEXT 6Y ON ! RANGE ! O!R "D40
  8,I DES]VE ?10 ,I SD4
  8,I C'T /AY1 & ,I "K Y GOT 6GET "S BAD
SLEEP10 SD ,TREV9O1 8B ,I J WANT$ 6WI% Y
GUYS GD LUCK TM4 ,REMEMB]1 "!'S A R1SON
Y'RE L1D+ ? T\RNA;T 0TWO /ROKES1 & X'S N
LUCK4 ,Y'VE "W$ Z H>D ON YR GAME Z ANY"O
\ "H40
  8,?ANKS A LOT10 ,I SD1 8NO MATT] :AT
HAPP5S40
  8,& "O O!R GODDAMN ?+10 SD ,TREV9O4
  8,:AT'S T80
  8,CALL ME ,LEE40
               ,*APT] #CC           #ACE

  ,JULY TW5TY-F/4
  ,E>LY ,SUN"D AFN1 AB TW5TY 6TWO4
  ,PEB# ,B1*4
  ,! LA/ ?REE"S (! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP54
  ,RAYMOND ,FLOYD4 ,JACK ,NICKLAUS4 ,&
YRS TRULY1 ,TRAVIS ,MC,K9LEY4 ,? IS AB Z
R1L Z X GETS4
  ,OR %D ,I SAY UNR1L4
  ,BR5T ,MUSB]G] & ,PET] ,ALLISS 7 9 !
T[]4 ,! ,KODAK BLIMP 0 LAZILY CIRCL+
OV]H1D1 & IF ,I'M N MISTAK5 ! MAN L1N+
OV] ! ROPES /RUNG TI<T >.D ! F/ TEE1
WE>+ A T>TAN KILT1 A TAM-O'-%ANT]1 &A
8,TRAVIS ,RULES0 ;,T-%IRT 0 ,BILL ,MUR-
RAY4
  ,& WAIT+ OM9\SLY L A VIDEO ANGEL ( D1?
AB HALFWAY D[N ! SIDE (! F/ FAIRWAY 0
,BOB ,ROSBURG1 ! =M] ,,PGA *AMPION1 :O
WD 2 TRACK+ U =! 5TIRE EI<TE5 HOLES4
  ,= ^? :O DON'T SQU&] VA/ AM.TS ( _!
LEISURE"T ON ,,TV GOLF1 ,ROSBURG1 CALL$
8,ROSI0 0HIS COLL1GUES 9 ! BOO?1 IS FA-
M\S = PUMP+ UP ! DRAMA ( EV5 ! MO/ BOR+
F9I% 0M\RN;LLY :ISP]+1 8,OH1 HE'S   #ACF
J D1D60 AB ANY %OT T ROLLS EV5 SLI<TLY
A/RAY4
  ,I 0 J TAK+ A FEW LA/ FR1K$-\ PRACTICE
SW+S & TRY+ N 6HYP]V5TILATE :5 ,E>L
SNORT$1 !N SI<$1 8,OH1 %IT40
  ,I TURN$ >.D & SAW :AT HE 0 REACT+ TO4
,"! /&+ AT ! FRONT (! ROPES1 HAV+ FL[N 9
F ,*ICAGO T MORN+1 0 ! 5TIRE SURVIV+
POPUL,N ( ,W9NETKA ,MC,K9LEYS1 F ,POP TO
,S>AH 6,ELIZABE? 6,SIMON & ,NOAH4 ,X 0 A
SI<T S WELCOME ,I ?"\ =A SECOND X 0 A
MIRAGE4
  8,X 0 8 IDEA10 SD ,ELIZABE?1 LIFT+ UP
A BLU%+ ,NOAH4 8,HE ?R1T5$ 6G ON A HUNG]
/RIKE IF WE DIDN'T -E40
  ,!Y _H >RIV$ ) S LL "T 6SP>E ,I B>ELY
_H "T 6KISS & HUG MY WAY D[N ! L9E 2F
N]V\S (FICIALS 7 CALL+ & WAV+ ME 6! TEE4
  8,ISN'T ? GRT80 ,I SD 6,E>L Z WE H1D$
BACK 6! C5T] (! TEE4
  8,WOND];L10 SD ,E>L ) 4GU/1 Z HE H&$
ME A DRIV]4 8,:AT'S ! MATT]1 YR DOG
DOESN'T L 6FLY8 ,I'M J GO+ 6SAY "O ?+ &
!N WE'RE GO+ 6MOVE ON4 ,? IS N A FAMILY
REUNION4 ,? IS ! F9AL DAMN R.D (!   #ACG
,U4,S4 ,OP540
  ,J 6LET ,E>L "K ,I _H "EY?+ "U 3TROL1
,I /EPP$ UP 6MY DRIVE--Z ! OV]NI<T L1D]
,I _H HONORS--&1 Z IF ,I 7 AL"O ON !
RANGE1 BLI/]$ MY F/ DRIVE D[N ! C5T] (!
FAIRWAY4
  8,Y'RE ,! ,MAN60 %\T$ ,MURRAY Z MY
BALL ROCKET$ (F ! FACE ( MY DRIV]4 8,&
"! >E N A LOT ( U LEFT40















               ,*APT] #CD           #ACH

  ,! NEXT ?REE H\RS OR S 7 ! MO/ EXHILA-
RAT+ ( MY LIFE4 ,!Y 7 AL ! MO/ EXCRUCI-
AT+ & HE>TBR1K+4
  ,= EI<TE5 HOLES1 ,I DIDN'T TAKE A RE-
LAX$ BR1?4 ,I DIDN'T /EP UP 6A S+LE TEE
%OT T ,I WASN'T AFRAID ,I MI<T %ANK1 OR
PULL BACK MY PUTT] )\T ! FE> (A /UB4 ,I
_H NO BUSI;S 2+ \ "! 9 ! F9AL ?REE"S )
TWO (! GRTE/ GOLF]S 6"E PLAY ! GAME1 &
ALL ( U KNEW X4 ,I 0 9 S F> OV] MY H1D
,I %D H BE5 C>RY+ A P]ISCOPE4
  ,6KEEP ME F 2+ UTT]LY OV]:ELM$ 0MY
SURR.D+S & OPPON5TS1 ,E>L _H DECID$ !
NI<T 2F T1 AF A QK H&%AKE ON ! F/ TEE1
,I WDN'T MAKE EYE 3TACT OR TALK 6EI
,NICKLAUS OR ,FLOYD ! RE/ (! R.D4
8,WE'RE N \ "H 6RELI% ! EXP]I;E1 OR S
?IRTY YE>S F N[ Y C PLOP YR GRT-GR&*N ON
YR >?RITIC KNEE & TELL !M T "O ,SUN"D Y
W5T H1D-TO-H1D )! ,GOLD5 ,BE> &! ,GRT
,RAYMONDO4 ,WE'RE "H 6W94 ,J L !M40
  ,:AT"E Y SAY1 ,E>L4 ,& ,E>L 0 "R AB !M
TRY+ 69TIMIDATE ME4 ,9 FACT1 ON ! V F/
TEE1 ,FLOYD1 9 AN OBVI\S GIBE AT    #ACI
MY "O SO7Y TRIUMPH1 TURN$ 6ME & SD1
8,DOESN'T LOOK L RA9 TD1 ,TRAVIS4 ,N A
CL\D 9 ! SKY40
  8,X'S A GD ?+10 ,E>L ANSW]$ = ME1 82C
,I DIDN'T EV5 PACK A RA9SUIT40
  ,MY BI7E/ PRO#M 0 MY OLDE/ PRO#M1 !
PUTT]4 ,"U ! EXTREME PRESSURE1 MY ABIL;Y
6R1D ! L9E 0 -+ & GO+ ON E O!R HOLE4 ,ON
"S ,I SAW ! L9E ) DAZZL+ CL>;Y4 ,ON O!RS
! GRE5 0 .SWIMM+ AT MY FEET4 ,"S HOLES1
,I ROLL$ ! BALL L ,CR5%AW1 KNOCK+ 9
FIELD-GOAL-L5G? PUTTS4 ,ON O!RS1 ,I
PUTT$ L A #AD-H&ICAPP] *OK+ 8 BRA9S \
OV] A F\R-FOOT] T DECIDES :O PAYS =! HOT
DOGS AT ! TURN4
  ,IRONIC,Y1 ! RESULT ( ALL ? ,/URM UND
,DRANG 0 AB ! SAME Z A /1DY SU3ES.N (
P>S4 ,AN UNEXPECT$ B5EFIT 0 T MY P]SONAL
EMO;NAL ROLL] COA/] 0 4TRACT+ 6,NICKLAUS
& ,FLOYD4
  ,I MAY H BE5 ?R[+ UP ON MYF E C\PLE (
HOLES1 B ,I REFUS$ 6G AWAY4 ,& Z WE /OOD
ON ! #AG? TEE1 ,I WAS1 Z ,MUSB]G] 9=M$
VIEW]S 9 ! DRAMATIC /AGE :ISP] RES]V$ =
S* O3A.NS 7,I'VE S9CE WAT*$ !       #ADJ
TELECA/ ON TAPE A C\PLE1 ?REE "TS7 8/ V
M* 9 ! HUNT40
  ,I 0 "O OV] P> =! "D1 FIVE "U =! T\R-
NA;T1 & ."O .2H ,NICKLAUS & ,FLOYD1 :O 7
TI$ =! L1D4
  ,IF ANY"O'S 9T]E/$1 "H'S MY SCOREC>D
"? ! F/ SIXTE5 HOLES3
      ,',KEY 6R[ H1D+S3
    NCK ,NICKLAUS
    MCK ,MC,K9LEY
    FLD ,FLOYD,'

,P>  #D #E #D #D #C #E #C #D #D #CF
"33  "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "33
NCK  #D #E #C #D #C #E #D #D #D #CH
MCK  #E #D #E #C #D #C #E #E #D #CH
FLD  #D #D #D #D #C #D #D #D #D #CE

,P>  #D #D #C #D #E #D #D #C #E #CF
"33  "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "3 "33
NCK  #D #C #C #D #D #D #D
MCK  #C #D #D #C #D #D #E
FLD  #D #C #C #D #E #D #D

               ,*APT] #CE           #ADA

  ,AH1 SWEET #AG4 ,P]H Y N"E ?"\ WE'D
GET "H4 ,I "K ,I _H MY D\BTS4
  ,! #AG? AT ,PEB# ,B1* IS A #BJI-Y>D P>
#C T RUNS P]P5DICUL> 6! COA/L9E1 )! GRE5
TUCK$ UP "R AG/ ! ,PACIFIC & FRAM$ 0A
CYPRESS Z ANCI5T & SOLIT>Y Z ! ,JO%UA
TREE4
  ,N ONLY IS ! GRE5 EXTREMELY SMALL &
SEV]ELY SLOP$1 B ! HOLE IS 3/ANTLY BUF-
FET$ 0! /R;G OC1N W9DS4 ,DEP5D+ ON : WAY
! W9D IS BL[+1 ! HOLE C REQUIRE ANY?+ F
A #G-IRON 6A DRIV]4
  ,ON ,SUN"D1 ,JACK & ,RAYMOND PULL$ \
#B-IRONS1 /RIK+ !M S CL1NLY !Y _H ! HI<
P>ABOLIC TRAJECTORY ( #E-IRONS 2F !Y L&$
S(TLY ON ! 4TANT GRE54
  ,"U ! CIRCUM/.ES1 HITT+ A #B-IRON 0 A
LL RI* = MY BLOOD1 S ,I TRI$ 6CUT A HI<
S(T #C-WOOD4 ,I CAU<T X FLU% & WAT*$ X
HANG OV] ! ,PACIFIC--!N LAZILY DROP \ (!
SKY1 L&+1 Z ,SAM ,SN1D US$ 6SAY1 L A
BUTT]FLY ) SORE FEET4
  ,! BALL NE/L$ N9E FEET F ! CUP4 ,!
CR[D AT ! GRE5 :I/L$ & *E]$4        #ADB
  ,AF ,RAYMOND & ,JACK GRACI\SLY MISS$
_! BIRDIES & COLLECT$ _! AUTOMATIC P>S1
,I LOOK$ OV] MY PUTT 6TIE4
  ,=A SECOND1 Z ,I CR\*$ 2H ! HOLE &
SQU9T$ AT MY BALL1 ,I _H ! HUGELY UNSET-
TL+ FEEL+ ( ..N "K+ EXACTLY ": ,I .WAS4
  ,0 ,I AT ,PEB# ,B1* 9 ! F9AL R.D (!
,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP51 OR "R BACK ": ,I _H
/>T$ SIX MON?S 2F ON ,*RI/MAS ,"D1 /&+
ON ANO!R #AG? GRE51 LOOK+ OV] A N9E-FOOT
PUTT T WD *ANGE MY LIFE8
  ,! TWO PUTTS EV5 _H ! SAME BR1K--"R TO
LEFT--& SPE$--FA/--& ONCE AG ,I CD SEE !
L9E Z CLE>LY Z IF ,I _H SNAPP$ X )A
*ALKY C>P5T]'S /R+4
  ,B "! 0 A DI6];E4 ,? "T1 /&+ ON ! F>
SIDE (! GRE5 ON ! EXACT L9E ( MY PUTT 0
,S>AH1 &) H] D>K-BR[N HAIR & SP>KL+ EYES
%E LOOK$ AT L1/ Z B1UTI;L & DET]M9$ &
ANIMAT$ Z ! "D WE MET4 ,BAS$ ON :AT ,I
DID NEXT--X O3URS 6ME N[--MAYBE ,I
WASN'T SEE+ ! L9E ( MY PUTT AT ALL1 B
ONLY ! L9E ( MY HE>T4
  8,TRAVIS10 ,I HE>D ,E>L :ISP] N]V\SLY
2H ME1 8Y ALL "R1 ,TRAVIS80         #ADC
  8,ALL "R80 ,I ?"\ 6MYF1 8( C\RSE ,I'M
N ALL "R40
  ,I SL[LY WALK$ BACK 6! O!R SIDE (!
HOLE1 B 9/1D ( /OPP+ AT MY BALL1 ,I KEPT
GO+ UNTIL ,I _H LEFT ! GRE5 ALT & 0 /&+
2S ,S>AH ON ! FRONT $GE (! MURMUR+ GAL-
L]Y4
  ,AT T PO9T1 ,S>AH1 AL;G ) AB FIFTE5
MILLION O!R P1 9CLUD+ ! ,,TV ANN\NC]S
,MUSB]G]1 ,NANTZ1 & ,ROSBURG1 MY GR&"F1
MY PLAY+ "PN]S1 MY *N1 & MO/ ( ALL ,E>L1
3CLUD$ T ,I _H F9,Y FRI$ MY CIRCUITS &
LO/ X ALT4
  ,9 A WAY1 !Y 7 "R4 ,I _H LO/ X4
  ,B ,I DIDN'T LOSE X T AFN4 ,I LO/ X
?IRTY-"O YE>S 2F ON A SPR+ MORN+ AT !
,UNIV]S;Y ( ,*ICAGO :5 ,I SAW ,S>AH /&+
(F 0H]F 2F A BIOLOGY LECTURE4 ,I LO/ X
AG :5 ,I SAW ,S>AH FIX+ H] HAIR 9 A MIR-
ROR1 M9UTES 2F WE GOT M>RI$ 9 H] P>5TS'
BACKY>D ON A P]FECT ,JUNE "D4 ,& ,I LO/
X 2Y ANY HOPE ( "E GETT+ X BACK :5 ,I
SAW H] HOLD+ "D-OLD ,ELIZABE? 9 ! HOSPI-
TAL ! MORN+ AF ,ELIZABE? 0 BORN4
  ,9 "O WAY OR ANO!R1 ,I ?9K        #ADD
,I'VE LO/ X E "T ,I'VE LOOK$ AT H] OR
TALK$ 6H]1 & IF "! IS ANY?+ ,I C D AB X1
,I AM DET]M9$ 6/AY LO/ UNTIL T *ILLY W9-
T] MORN+ :5 ,I CLOSE MY EYES & HE>T =!
LA/ "T4
  8,S>AH10 ,I :ISP]$1 8,I B"\ ? ! WEEK
,I CAME HOME 6,W9NETKA1 & ,I'M AFRAID IF
,I C>RY X >.D ) ME = ANO!R SECOND "S?+ V
BAD IS GO+ 6HAPP5 6MY HE>T40
  ,I HELD \ A DIAMOND R+1 J L ! "O %E _H
LO/ ON \R H"OYMOON4
  ,ACTU,Y1 X 0 SLI<TLY NIC]4 ,ALL "R1 X
0 A LOT NIC]4
  ,AF L1V+ ,W9NETKA LA/ WEEK1 ,I DIDN'T
DRIVE DIRECTLY 6! AIRPORT4 ,I _H /OPP$
F/ AT ,H>RY ,W9/ON'S1 ,*ICAGO'S MO/ PRE-
T5TI\S & OV]PRIC$ JEWELRY /ORE1 &= "S
R1SON ,I C'T LOGIC,Y EXPLA91 ,I KEPT
ASK+ ! SALESMAN 6%[ ME "S?+ A LL BI7]1 M
DRAMATIC1 & M RADIANT1 UNTIL HE %[$ ME !
R+ ,I _H J %[$ ,S>AH4
  ,Z Y MI<T SUSPECT1 SIZE1 DRAMA1 & RA-
DI.E >E N "S?+ !Y GIVE AWAY AT ,H>RY'S4
,Z A MATT] ( FACT1 !Y PUT A C]TA9
PREMIUM ON X4 ,=TUNATELY1 H["E1 Y   #ADE
C / GET A R LOVELY /"O & SETT+ =
4#ACE1JJJ4
  ,T'S N A TYPO4 ,I SP5T MY 5TIRE ,BELL-
,S\? W9N+S ON ! R+4 ,I M1N :AT ! HELL4
,X 0 A RA9-%ORT5$ W94 ,I DIDN'T DES]VE
X4
  ,B ,S>AH DID4
  ,Z ,I /OOD "! ON ! \T] $GES (! #AG?
GRE51 ,I 0 %AK+ A LL4 ,I LOOK$ 96,S>AH'S
EYES & ,I 0 CLOSE 6LOS+ X4
  8,I LOVE Y1 ,S>AH10 ,I SD1 & 6MY "E-
LA/+ HAPPI;S & 9F9ITE RELIEF1 %E LET ME
SLIDE ! R+ G5TLY ON H] F+]4 8,I %DN'T1
,TRAVIS1 B ,I LOVE Y1 TOO10 %E :ISP]$4
8,& 0! WAY1 Y'RE RETURN+ ? Z SOON Z !
R.D IS OV]40
  8,NO WAY10 ,I SD Z ,I KISS$ H]1 &
WALK$ QKLY BACK 6MY BALL4
  ,Y'D ?9K ,I'D H BE5 4TRACT$ 0ALL ?1 B
X 0 ! OPPOSITE4 ,I _H N"E BE5 M FOCUS$ 9
MY LIFE4 ,)\T TAK+ A SECOND PEEK AT !
L9E OR ANO!R PRACTICE /ROKE1 ,I DROPP$
MY PUTT] 2H ! BALL4 ,I SET MY FEET4
  ,!N ,I LET X G4
  ,I DIDN'T EV5 LOOK 6SEE :AT       #ADF
HAPP5$4 ,I DIDN'T H TO4 ,I 0 A FOOL 9
LOVE1 :O 0 LOV$ 9 RETURN4 ,! 9/ANT ,I
HIT X1 ,I KNEW X 0 D1D C5T]1 & T ,I 0 9
A ?REE-WAY TIE =! L1D (! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR
,OP5 ) ,JACK ,NICKLAUS & ,RAYMOND
,FLOYD4 ,Z ! GALL]Y ERUPT$ & SPR9T$ 6!
F9AL TEE1 ,E>L SLAPP$ ME ON ! %\LD] &
SD1 8,TRAVIS1 MY FR1 X'S A R1L GD ?+ Y
SUNK T PUTT4 ,2C IF Y _HN'T1 Y'D 2 C>RY+
? BAG "R N[40
  ,I PEEK$ 2H ME & SAW ,S>AH &! KIDS
JUMP+ UP & D[N1 9V5T+ ! ,MC,K9LEY JIG4
  ,?ANK ,GOD1 ,I SD 6MYF4
  ,S1 X'S N A DR1M4
  ,!Y'RE ACTU,Y "H4
  ,& S AM ,I4








               ,*APT] #CF           #ADG

  ,I C'T D5Y ,I FELT A C]TA9 GL[ Z ,I
WALK$ 6! #AH? HOLE4 ,B ,I 0 AL FEEL+ L
,I 0 2+ :EEL$ 96"S =EIGN C;Y'S EM]G5CY
ROOM AT ?REE 9 ! MORN+4
  ,MY BODY 0 NUMB & "! 0 A H1T BLI/] ON
MY BRA94
  ,MY BACK FELT L "O ( ^? VA/ QUADRUPLE
KNOTS 9 ,NOAH'S %OELACES4
  ,MY /OMA* 0 A 4A/]4
  ,I _H TUNNEL VI.N & COLD SW1TS1 & ,I 0
/>T+ 6SEE ?+S T ,I HOPE W]5'T RE,Y "!--L
MY FIF?-GRADE SCI;E T1*]1 ,EVELYN ,KO-
*ANSKI1 SUNBA?+ NAK$ AL;G ! LEFT SIDE (!
FAIRWAY4
  ,N"O ( ? 0 RELIEV$ 0! FACT T ! P>-#E
#AH? AT ,PEB# ,B1*1 )! ,PACIFIC RUNN+ !
5TIRE LEFT SIDE (! HOLE1 IS ! MO/ F"R5+
F9I%+ HOLE 9 GOLF4 ,HOOK ! BALL (F !
TEE1 "S?+ ,I'M "PICUL>LY ADEPT AT1 &!
ONLY ?+ T C SAVE Y IS ! ,COA/ ,GU>D4
  ,= R1SONS ,I'LL N"E "U/&1 ,I HIT A P]-
FECT DRIVE1 Z DID MY CO-L1D]S1 & S9CE
N"O ( U CD R1* ! GRE5 9 TWO1 ALL ,I
WANT$ 6D ) MY SECOND %OT 0 ADV.E    #ADH
! BALL UP ! "R SIDE )A NICE LL #E-IRON4
,NO SW1T4
  ,Z ,I />T$ MY BACKSW+1 ,I ?"\3 .,SMOO?
.& .EASY4
  ,!N ,I ?"\3 ..,MISS X ANY": B .LEFT4
  ,!N MY GR&"F SCREE*$ 79SIDE MY H1D1 ,I
HOPE73 .,"O .SW+ .?"\6 ,: UN=TUNATELY 0
MY ?IRD SW+ ?"\4
  ,! RESULT ( ALL ? -PLEX ?"\ 0 A WICK$
%ANK SLICE T SCATT]$ ! GALL]Y & ROLL$ 6A
/OP AM;G A ?ICK /& ( P9ES ON ! "R SIDE (
! FAIRWAY AT L1/ #BGE Y>DS F ! GRE54
  ,I FELT L DI7+ A %ALL[ GRAVE & ?R[+
MYF IN4
  ,9/1D1 ,I LOOK$ OV] AT ,SIMON1 & HE
LOOK$ L HE 0 TAK+ X EV5 H>D] ?AN ME4
  ,S DID ,ELIZABE? & ,POP4
  ,B !N ,I CAU<T ! EYE ( ,NOAH1 :O (F]$
"O ( 8 8,OH1 WELL1 :AT >E Y GO+ 6D80
%RUGS4
  ,& Z USUAL1 ! LL G9K 0 "R4 ,:AT"E HAP-
P5$ 0 GO+ 6HAPP51 & 2SS X 0 ONLY GOLF4
,! #AH? HOLE 0 IMPORTANT1 B X WASN'T T
IMPORTANT4
  ,& /&+ "R 2H HM1 ,S>AH HELD UP    #ADI
H] NEW R+1 & %E M\!D 8,X'S B1UTI;L60
  ,I H1D$ T[>D ! TREES 6F9D MY DAMN
BALL4





















               ,*APT] #CG           #AEJ

  ,I KNEW X WASN'T GO+ 6BE PRETTY :5 ,I
SPOTT$ ,ROSI G+]LY HOV]+ OV] MY BALL Z
IF X 7 A RADIOACTIVE TURD1 %AK+ 8 H1D &
:ISP]+ 96HIS H1DSET 9 HU%$1 FUN]1L T"OS4
,H["E1 Z SOON Z ,E>L & ,I GOT CLOSE 5 TO
SURVEY ! DAMAGE \RVS1 ,I SAW T ,I WASN'T
D1D4 ,I 0 J SCREW$4
  ,"!'S A DI6];E4
  ,AL? "! 0 A /& ( HE>TY P9ES ROOT$ 2T
MY BALL &! FAIRWAY1 "! 0 A SMALL GAP1 NO
M ?AN A Y>D SQU>E1 2T ! ?IRD & F\R?
TREES1 & IF ,I CD "SH[ HIT A H>D L[ DRAW
"? ! HOLE1 ,I CD N ONLY GET BACK 6!
FAIRWAY1 ,I CD HIT X AT ! GRE54
  ,6SAY T X 0 UNLIKELY ,I CD POKE A
FULL-?ROTTLE DRIVE "? AN OP5+ ! SIZE (A
SMALL W9D[ IS PUTT+ X POLITELY4 ,B )
,JACK & ,RAYMOND BO? SITT+ PRETTY 9 !
C5T] (! FAIRWAY LESS ?AN A HUNDR$ Y>DS F
! FLAG1 *IPP+ X SIDEWAYS WD H BE5 TANTA-
M.T 6SURR5D] ANYWAY4
  ,I FIGUR$ ,I MI<T Z WELL SC>E A FEW
TREES F/4
  ,N[ ,I "K ,I'VE ALR US$ UP M      #AEA
?AN MY QUOTA ( MIRACLES 9 ? /ORY4 ,9
FACT1 ,I PROBABLY _H 6USE A C\PLE ( YRS1
TOO4 ,S ,I WON'T CATEGORIZE :AT HAPP5$
NEXT Z YET ANO!R PIECE ( DIV9E 9T]V5;N4
,LET'S J CALL X ! GRTE/ %OT 9 GOLF HIS-
TORY1 & L1VE X AT T4
  ,)! GALL]Y RU2]NECK+ ) MORBID DELI<T1
,I PULL$ BACK MY DRIV] & SWUNG AT T BALL
Z IF ,I 7 WIELD+ A SL$GEHAMM] AT A C.TY
FAIR4 ,:5 ALL ,I HE>D 7 GASPS1 ,I KNEW T
SUCK] 0 ROCKET+ T[>D ! GRE54
  ,9 FACT1 ,I 0 A LL 4APPO9T$ :5 ,I RAC$
BACK 6! FAIRWAY & 4COV]$ T ! BALL _H
/OPP$ ROLL+ A C\PLE ( Y>DS %ORT ON A LL
KNOLL4
  ,RAYMOND ,FLOYD 0 NEXT1 &)A WRI/Y
FL\RI% HE L(T$ A W$GE T COV]$ ! FLAG !
:OLE WAY4 ,! %OT /OPP$ ON A DIME SIX
FEET F ! HOLE4
  ,JACK'S APPROA* 0 EV5 PRETTI]1 S PRET-
TY T Z X DROPP$ \ (! SKY MY HE>T DROPP$
) X1 & ,I TURN$ 6,E>L & SD1 8,WE'RE GO+
6LOSE ON A SLAM DUNK40
  8,NO1 WE'RE N10 HE REPLI$1 N"E TAK+ 8
EYES F ! BALL4                      #AEB
  ,AN 9/ANT LAT] ! BALL /RUCK ! CUP OR !
FLAG1 OR ! PO9T ": ! CUP &! FLAG CAME
TGR1 & /RUCK X S CL1NLY T ! BALL B\NC$
ALM ?IRTY FEET AWAY ON ! SLICK GRE54
  8,SON-(-A-BIT* HIT X TOO PURE60 SD
,E>L APPRECIATIVELY4


















               ,*APT] #CH           #AEC

  ,I HOPE T ALL ( Y1 AT L1/ ONCE 9 YR
LIFE1 GET ! *.E 6WALK UP ! #AH? FAIRWAY
( ,PEB# ,B1* ) ,JACK ,NICKLAUS & ,RAY-
MOND ,FLOYD1 ON A P]FECT ,JULY AFN1 TI$
=! L1D 9 ! F9AL R.D (! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR
,OP54
  ,X'S A LOT ( FUN4
  ,0! "T WE R1*$ ! GRE51 E SPECTATOR :O
_H -E \ =! F9AL R.D 0 /&+ ON ! BANK 2T !
HOLE &! CLUBH\SE1 & !Y 7 GO+ APE%IT4
,"TS ,SQU>E ON ,V-,E ,"D1 ,WOOD/OCK :5 !
RA9 /OPP$1 &! TICK] TAPE P>ADE =! #'FI
,METS M/ H FELT "S?+ L ?4 ,9 ALL ! EX-
CITE;T1 ,I MAY EV5 H D(F$ MY HAT4
  ,! ONLY P]SON :O WASN'T DELI<T+ 9 !
EC/ATIC SUSP5SE 0 ,JACK ,NICKLAUS1 :O _H
J HIT ?REE P]FECT GOLF %OTS & 0 AWAY4
,AF C>OM+ (F ! /ICK & CUP1 ,NICKLAUS'S
BALL _H ROLL$ M ?AN ?IRTY FEET 6! BASE (
! GRE51 & N[ Z ,JACK1 WE>+ A YELL[ CA%-
M]E SW1T] & P[D] BLUE SLACKS1 CIRCL$ 8
D\#-BR1K+ UPHILL PUTT1 SURVEY+ X F E AN-
GLE EXCEPT F 2N ! GR.D1 8 FACE 0 LOCK$ 9
A DEEP SC[L ( 3C5TR,N4              #AED
  ,HE RE,Y DID LOOK L A BE>1 A V PISS$-
(F BE>1 :O _H J CAU<T "SBODY TRY+ 6/1L 8
H"OY POT4 ,Z ,NICKLAUS /ALK$1 ! CR[D
GREW QUIET] & QUIET]1 & :5 HE F9,Y /EPP$
UP & RAPP$ X FIRMLY T[>D ! HOLE1 ! COL-
LECTIVE T5.N ( TW5TY ?\S& MUTE1 /"O-/
GOLF FANS DY+ 6EXPLODE 0 ALM UNBE>A#4
  ,=! SECOND "T 9 A R[1 ,NICKLAUS AIM$ 8
BALL /RAI<T & TRUE1 & ? "T :5 ,I TURN$
6,E>L 9 DESPAIR1 HE DIDN'T BO!R 63TRA-
DICT ME4
  ,L "EY"O ELSE :O 0 "!1 HE J TILT$ =W>D
& />$ SLACK-JAW$ Z ! BALL ROLL$ 9EXORA-
BLY T[>D ! HOLE4 ,)! BLOOD*ILL+ VIVID;S
( AN UNWELCOME FLA%BACK1 ,I REPLAY$ 9 MY
M9D ,NICKLAUS'S IMMORTAL SQUAT & *>GE AT
! ,MA/]S 9 #'HF1 :5 HE _H SUNK T HUGE
PUTT ON #AE1 & RAC$ (F ! GRE51 8 PUTT]
%IMM]+ OV]H1D 9 ! DY+ AFN LI<T L A CAV-
ALRY SAB]4
  ,! PUTT B>REL$ HOLEW>D1 D1D C5T] ALL !
WAY4 ,I BRAC$ MYF = YET ANO!R ,NICKLAUS
SPR9T 96HI/ORY1 RECALL+ 9 T GLOOMY 9/ANT
! (T5-=GOTT5 FACT T1 9 A4I;N 62+ A GOLF+
PRODIGY1 "Y ,JACK 0 ! ,OHIO HI<     #AEE
S*OOL *AMPION 9 ! #AJJ-Y>D DA%4
  ,I _H NO "R 6-PLA94 ,X _H BE5 A GRT
RIDE4 ,BETT] ?AN GRT4 ,B N[ X 0 OV]4 ,!
FAT LADY 0 AB 6S+4 ,JACK DROPP$ 96HIS
/&+ CR\*4 ,X 0 IN6
  ,UNTIL X SCREE*$ 6A /OP ON ! LIP1 HALF
A TURN %ORT4
  ,! CR[D EXHAL$4
  ,S DID ,I4
  ,JACK TAPP$ 9 = P>4














               ,*APT] #CI           #AEF

  ,MY [N ,TITLEI/ #C1 ! SOLE SURVIVOR (!
SLEEVE ,POP _H DROPP$ ON ! GRASS ! WEEK
2F 9 ,W9NETKA1 0 SP>KL+ ON ! SLOPE FIVE
FEET (F ! GRE51 TW5TY-FIVE FEET F !
HOLE1 )! GRE5 RUNN+ %>PLY D[NHILL AWAY F
ME4
  ,X 0 ! K9D ( *IP Y DEF9ITELY WDN'T
WANT IF Y _H 6MAKE P>4 ,B =A GOLF] ON !
V]GE (A N]V\S BR1KD[N :O NE$$ A BIRDIE1
X 0 A *IP ) POSSIBILITIES4 ,= "O ?+1 X 0
PHYSIC,Y IMPOSSI# 6L1VE ! BALL %ORT4
  ,*OK+ UP--NO PUN 9T5D$--ON A #I-IRON1
,I SET ! BLADE 2H ! BALL1 !N GAVE X !
G5TLE/ ( FLICKS4 ,I WAT*$ Z ! BALL B>ELY
CLE>$ ! R\< & B\NC$ S(TLY ON ! GRE54 ,I
WAT*$ X /1DILY PUT ON M & M SPE$4 ,!N ,I
WAT*$ X .DIVE L ,BUGS ,BUNNY 96! BACK (!
HOLE4 ..,AT L1/ T'S :AT ,I ?9K ,I .SAW4
  ,"EY?+ W5T SIDEWAYS4 ,TW5TY ?\S& P
L1P$ T[>D ! SKY1 & ,I FELL 6MY KNEES1 ":
,E>L GOT D[N ) ME & GAVE ME A HUG ,I
SWE> ,I C / FEEL4 ,= S"EAL M9UTES1 ! _W
0 NO?+ B NOISE4
  ,F9,Y ! RO> 2GAN 6SUBSIDE1 & ,I   #AEG
/OOD UP & WALK$ 6! HOLE 6PLUCK \ MY
BALL4 ,B 2F ,I RETRIEV$ MY BALL1 ,I DID
"S?+ ,I _HN'T D"O 9 EI<TE5 HOLES4
  ,I LOOK$ OV] AT ,RAYMOND & ,I />$
/RAI<T 96HIS EYES4
  ,& ,I W9K$4
  ,N[1 X'S "O ?+ HAV+ 6S9K A SIX-FOOT]
ON ! LA/ HOLE (! ,U4,S4 ,S5IOR ,OP5 6=CE
A PLAY-(F ) ,JACK ,NICKLAUS1 ! HOLD] (
TW5TY MAJOR TITLES &! GRTE/ GOLF] 6"E
TROD ! SOD4 ,X'S Q ANO!R HAV+ 6S9K A
SIX-FOOT] 6AVOID LOS+ 6,TRAVIS ,MC,K9-
LEY1 AN UN"KN ROOKIE1 :O _H N"E WON A
S+LE FULL-L5G? SANC;N$ EV5T 9 8 LIFE1 &
SIX MON?S E>LI] 0 SQUEEZ+ \ BAD ADV]TIS+
J+LES4 ,Z ,FLOYD /EPP$ UP 6HIS PUTT1 HE
0 FI<T+ M PRESSURE ?AN ANY -PETITIVE
PSY*E %D "E 2 ASK$ 6H&LE4
  ,B IF ,RAYMOND 0 FEEL+ ! H1T1 HE
WASN'T %>+ T FACT ) ME OR ANY"O ELSE4 ,Z
,I'D SE5 S _M "TS 2F ON ,,TV1 HE /RUTT$
UP 6HIS BALL ) BRISK1 (FICI\S LL /EPS1
WI7L$ 8 BUTT 96A -=TA# POSI;N1 &) 8 LIPS
SLI<TLY PURS$1 SQU9T$ BACK & =? 2T !
BALL &! CUP Z IF HE CDN'T Q DE-     #AEH
CIDE : (! TWO 0 A BI7] ASSHOLE4
  ,HE LOOK$ -POS$1 & FOCUS$1 & UTT]LY
UNFLAPPA#4 ,HE LOOK$ L A 3TRACT KILL]
TAK+ C>E ( BUSI;S4 ,!N HE YANK$ T SIX-
FOOT] S F> LEFT T ..X MISS$ ! HOLE 0HALF
A .FOOT4
  ,SU45LY1 ,I _H ,S>AH1 ,SIMON1 ,NOAH1 &
,ELIZABE? 9 MY >MS4 ,I 0 DANC+ ) ,POP &
!N ) ,E>L1 & !N ,I ?9K ,E>L _H ALL ( U 9
8 >MS4 ,I 0 %AK+ H&S ) ,RAYMOND ,FLOYD &
,JACK ,NICKLAUS1 & !N ,I 0 GIV+ ! W9N+
GOLF BALL BACK 6MY GR&"F4 8,?ANKS =!
LOAN1 ,POP10 ,I %\T$ "? ! RO>4 8,N[
DON'T HIT ? "O 9 A LAKE40
  8,DON'T WORRY10 HE SD1 B1M+ EV5 M B"R-
LY ?AN USUAL1 8,I'LL J USE X = *IPP+40
  ,& "S": 9 ! BASE;T (! ,PEB# ,B1* CLUB-
H\SE1 A L"OLY JEWEL] 2GAN SCRAT*+ 8,T4
,MC,K9LEY0 ON A V L>GE SILV] CUP4





               ,,EPILOGUE           #AEI
         ,PO/-,MIRACLE ,HAPP5+S

  ,TWO MON?S LAT]4
  ,TWO 9 ! MORN+4
  ,A DR1M /IRS ME F A DEEP SLEEP1 & ,I
SIT UP 9 A L>GE OAK B$ ":1 9 AN ODD WAY1
,I FEEL -PLETELY -=TA# =! F/ "T4
  ,Z MY EYES ADJU/ 6! MOONLI<T1 ,I SCAN
A ROOM T IS BO? FAMILI> & BRILLIANTLY
NEW4 ,ON "O SIDE IS AN OLD WOOD5 *E/ ,I
9H]IT$ F MY GRT-GR&"F4 ,ON ! "R IS A *E/
& MIRROR T ,S>AH GOT F H] GR&"M1 ) 9LAID
FL[]S ON ! DOORS1 &A L>GE LACQU] TRAY
RE/+ ON TOP FILL$ ) TORTOISE%ELL -BS &A
PAIR ( ANTIQUE ,RUSSIAN SILV] BRACELETS
%E HAS BE5 WE>+ = M ?AN TW5TY YE>S4
  ,AL? ,I'D ONLY BE5 G"O AB SIX MON?S1
,I H NO TR\# IMAG9+ H[ ,ODYSSEUS M/ H
FELT 6BE F9,Y BACK HOME ) ,P5ELOPE AF A
T5-YE> TREK "? ! _W4
  ,C>E;L N 6WAKE ,S>AH1 :O LIES ON H]
SIDE FAC+ ME1 ! SLI<TE/ TRACE (A SMILE
CURL+ ! $GES ( H] SMALL M\?1 ,I SLIDE \
( B$ & W&] "? MY OLD H\SE1 A H\SE MY
GR&"F BUILT1 )! HELP ( ONLY A S9-   #AFJ
GLE LABOR]1 ! YE> ,I 0 BORN4
  ,EV5 ?\< %E HASN'T LIV$ AT HOME = HALF
A DOZ5 YE>S N[1 ,I VISIT ,ELIZABE?'S
ROOM F/4 ,) XS FAD+ ROCK /> PO/]S / TAP$
6! WALL1 & XS /U6$ ANIMALS1 X LOOKS L A
K9D ( TE5AGE "T CAPSULE1 CIRCA #AIHD4
,E>NE/1 IRREPROA*A# ,ELIZABE?1 :O 9
TW5TY-SEV5 YE>S N"E GAVE U A ?+ 6WORRY
AB4 ,0 %E "E RE,Y A TE5AG]1 OR DID %E G
DIRECTLY F 9FANCY 6RADIOLOGY8 ,X O3URS
6ME T ,I "K LESS AB H] ?AN MY O!R *N4 ,!
NEXT MORN+ ,I W CALL ,ELIZABE? 6S*$ULE A
TRIP 6,NEW ,HAV5 6TRY 6D "S?+ AB T4
  ,!N ,I L1N 96,SIMON'S ROOM1 & SEE HM
P1CE;LLY /RET*$ \1 ?REE E>R+S & ALL1 8
?91 SIX-TWO FRAME HANG+ OV] ! $GES ( 8
T5-YE>-OLD S+LE B$4 ,Y C'T LOVE ANY "O (
YR KIDS M ?AN ANO!R1 & ,I SWE> 6,GOD ,I
DON'T4 ,B = BETT] & WORSE1 ,SIMON IS ME1
& MY HE>T FEELS S 3NECT$ 6HIS T X
DOESN'T EV5 H 6G \ 6HM4 ,X'S ALR "!4
  ,LY+ 2S HM L A FAI?;L LL PUP1 OR BETT]
YET1 L A N-TO-BE-"UE/IMAT$ WAT*DOG1 8
OV]SIZ$ %A7Y BR[N H1D RE/+ ON ,SIMON'S
BACK1 IS \R [N GRT MAN ,NOAH1 :O    #AFA
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NAPP+--! M]CURY 3T9U$ 6SO> "?\T ! MORN+
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,BEEM] 96! ,CREEKVIEW ,C.TRY ,CLUB A LL
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& 0! "T ,I MADE ! TURN1 ,I KNEW 9 MY
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/ GET HOME ON "T4
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BALL4 ,I J ?REW MY BAG OV] MY %\LD]1 &
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